The good stuff is below, so you'll need to read on. But in the mean time, its time to get this BLOG stuff going! Just to let you know, we're now only 9 days away from the draft and you are ALL expected to be there. The draft, for new folks who have missed it, or for any of our 10-15 rookies is the first of many epic events you'll see this year.
I don't just throw words like "epic" around. If you've seen the draft floor for the NHL or the NBA lottery draft, that will give you a general idea. Now those aren't quite as good as ours, but it'll give you a sense. I went to my first draft as a rookie. I only knew two people by name. I left with a team and 12 friends. Its pretty cool. (I may have been hammered too).
The draft is where my world changes and the baseball work begins. Between the draft and the 1st pitch, there will be 3 prediction editions of the BLOG. We will break down each team, the players, their offensive and defensive strengths and that will ultimately culminate in predictions on which teams will finish in the top 6.
Last year's predicting team of me, Keogh, Peters, Boston and Doyle are welcome (if not expected) to come back. But there is work involved in this, so if anyone wants to bail, that's okay and understood. Also, if anyone new wants in, that's okay too! Please let me know, there's always room for more.
Finally....and this may be a little dicey for some people, but I have the outline of a "Fantasy League" based on league stats ready to go. Its been a couple of years in the making and Lou Conforti, who has volunteered to assist with stats, will give me the extra man power to get this off the ground. All I can tell you now is that there will be a charge ($20.00 max), it will be 100% voluntary, 1/2 of the money collected will go to charity. More to come.
So....
I realized that I often start with "So....."
So....the first BLOG of the year mentioned the need for more captains. Thankfully some people have stepped up so we're all good in that regard. Introduced at last night's meeting where David Polny and Paul Gyori who will captain the "Son's of Pitches" and Lou Conforti and Denis Short who will captain the "Sliders". Welcome aboard fellas. I don't know why you'd name a team after little hamburgers, but whatever.
THAT little tid-bid has raised some questions. And as usual, when the BLOG receives questions, we aim to answer them. People have been asking me what the criteria is for replacing a single captain on an existing team. I can assure you that while its not all clock and dagger; it is the same question that Mr Piellusch and The Beechey were asking themselves in the face of replacing long standing captains. I must also say that it was great that Paul and The Beechey were both very open about their needs and the process. Communication and staying above board is key.
The rules are simple. Look for someone in good standing in the league. Ideally someone who is not currently going through anger management therapy (sorry Scott Peters), find someone with half decent organizational skills, an enjoyment for baseball, an appreciation for the league and, in a perfect world, someone who isn't currently under suspension by the league.
Paul Piellusch went back to the glory days of the Beer Bros. championship season to pull out Al Bales. Smart. A good pick.
The Beechey's challenge was a little more daunting. He doesn't know everyone in the league like Paul does. He consulted a few trusted people in the league to seek their advice on how to select a replacement for Mr. Fry and get some recommendations. At the end of the day, The Beechey decided to go with a short list of suggested players and hold an open tryout. Great idea! See their skills first hand and make an informed decision.
Cliff Tucker
The first prospective replacement for Al was Cliff Tucker. Cliff and The Beechey met quietly at the legion in January.
The Beechey: Hey Cliffy, thanks for coming. So I understand that you're interested in Captaining the Dodge City Rounders with me.
Cliff: Yes, very much so!
The Beechey: That's great. I like your enthusiasm. So as you know, I'm asking all the candidates what they specifically bring to the table that is unique. What separates you from everyone else and makes you the guy we need to help lead the team.
Cliff: Ya. First let me say that I think this is a great approach and that I can summarize my special gift into one word.
The Beechey: And that word?
Cliff: "Math"
The Beechey: Ha. Sorry, I thought you said math.
Cliff: Ya. Math. Math is critical in baseball. Virtually everything is divisible by 3 or a multiple of 10, you have to be quick on your feet. Its a real advantage.
The Beechey: It doesn't seem really practical, but okay.
The Beechey: Okay.
Cliff: Think of any number under 10, don't tell me the number.
The Beechey: Okay.
Cliff: Now Double that number.
The Beechey: Okay.
Cliff: Now add 6.
The Beechey: Okay.
Cliff: Now divide by 2.
The Beechey: Okay.
Cliff: Now subtract your original number from what you have left.
The Beechey: Okay.
Cliff: Your total is now 3.
The Beechey: Yeah! That's cool.
Cliff: AND....there are three outs in an inning.
The Beechey: Interesting. But I don't see how it helps captain a baseball team. I'm going to have to get back to you.
Scott Mason
The Beechey: Okay Scotty, you know the deal. What are your differentiators that make you the man for Dodge City?
The Squirrel: Well, there's the obvious.
The Beechey: What's that?
The Squirrel: [whispering] I speak braille.
The Beechey: Ya...I've been looking into that. Braille isn't really a spoken language.
The Squirrel:
The Beechey: Hey!!! How did you do that? You actually CAN speak Braille!
The Squirrel: Ya, well some of us paid attention at x-men school Beech. And I can still do invisible hand writing too.
The Beechey: Okay.....so if we have a deaf player the Braille could come in handy.
The Squirrel: Blind.
The Beechey: Huh?
The Squirrel: Deaf people don't really benefit from Braille. Never mind.
The Beechey: Okay, so the invisible ink thing could be really good with lineups and fooling the likes of Hugh Armstrong. I'll be honest, I would say yes right now but I'm obligated to finish the interviews. Incidentally, what are you rated?
The Squirrel: I don't follow that stuff....I think I'm around a 5 or something.
The Beechey: Ya, that sounds about right. Ok, I'll get back to you.
Dan Chiasson
The Beechey: Hey Dan....so you know what the deal is. We want to see what you have to offer the Dodge City Rounders. And then I'll be picking they guy who fits best.
Dan Chiasson: All lies and jest, still, a man hears what he wants to hear and disregards the rest.
The Beechey: What?
Dan Chiasson: All lies and jest, still, a man hears what he wants to hear and disregards the rest.
The Beechey: What the hell does that mean?
Dan Chiasson: I use song lyrics to answer questions.
Dan Chiasson: Well, every new beginning comes from some other beginnings end.
The Beechey: Good God.
Dan Chiasson: All I know is that its better to burn out than fade away.
The Beechey: I'll get back to you.
Dan Chiasson: My future is so bright....I've gotta wear shades.
The Beechey: Okay, meeting over.
Dan Chiasson: So many tears I've cried, so much pain inside, But Beechey, it ain't over 'til its over.
The Beechey: Lenny Kravitz? Look. I have to meet Darrell Hager but I promise to get back to you.
Dan Chiasson: You made me, Promises; Promises. You knew you'd never keep.
The Beechey: Chiasson, you're just dragging this out. I've got to go.
Dan Chiasson: Well don't go away mad; Just go away.
The Beechey: [standing] Okay then, I'm leaving now.
Dan Chiasson: My bags are packed; Standing here outside your door....
The Beechey: Good god.
Dan Chiasson: Goody two, goody two, goody good two shoes; Don't drink don't smoke, what do you do? Don't drink don't smoke, what do you do?
The Beechey: [sigh....]
Darrell Hager
The Beechey: you know the deal Darrell. But I'll be honest, I'm exhausted after meeting Chiasson and I'm pretty locked in on The Squirrel. My mind is pretty much made up, you'll have to offer something compelling to change my mind.
Hags: Sure. No problem. So obviously, my #1 attribute is my hair.
The Beechey: You know I have the Mr. Clean hair-do. Are you sure you want to emphasize your locks?
Hags: That's the point. I have enough for both of us. And its curly and shiny and chicks always want to touch it.
The Beechey: Ya, you haven't really sold me. So if there's nothing else we should wrap up.
Hags: Okay....I've got one more thing.
The Beechey: Shoot.
Hags: I cook.
The Beechey: Might be handy for a team party, but lots of guys cook.
Hags: I cook in the winter.
The Beechey: Lots of guys do.
Hags: I cook on the bbq in the winter.
The Beechey: So?
Hags: Okay, I cook on the bbq in the winter, in my underwear.
The Beechey: What?
Hags: Swear to god. I have pics.
And this.
The Beechey: Okay, this is compelling. Friggin' crazy; but compelling. So Dodge City is fun team but not quite THAT much fun. You may want to see if the Grisslies have an opening.
And that is how Scott Mason was selected as Al Fry's replacement. I'm sure you'll agree it was a pretty logical choice.
