Game 6 - The Beechey Man

INTRO

Awwww....Poor, The Beechey.

He never saw it coming.  The classic Grisslie double cross.  Richard Gere could tell you how this one works.  So, here's where it began; my email to The Beechey a couple of weeks back:

"Good day The Beechey.

I talked to Al Fry briefly the other night about our Rookie Night event. We did these Shenanigans with Dodge City a couple of years ago and it worked out really well.

Rookie Night is quite simple. We'll think of a couple of clever things to honor the boys (I think there's one on each of our teams). We usually give them the copy of the SPN rule book that comes in our season starter kit. We also give them a ball signed by the 4 captains in a little commemorative case. Then we'll do something embarrassing, like have them play the 1st inning of the game in a tiara or a beauty pageant sash. All in good fun.

Anyway, we play at 9:30 on the 27th so there isn't a lot of time. I'll get the trophy cases for the balls and the other stuff, you guys don't have to worry about that.  What I need you to do (soon) is make sure that your rookie, you and Al will be at that game.

Ideally, we'll get the two teams together and do this about 9:20 so we don't have any interruption to game time.  Welcome to Grisslie hi-jinx.

Thanks."

From there it was hook-line-sinker.  The Beechey bit like a fish after the spring thaw.  He was all in.  Of course, the 27th of May had nothing to do with Rookies.  It was The Beechey night! I think my favourite part was how he didn't clue in until right 'til the last moment.

The Beechey is usually pretty quick too.  Yep.  Here's what some of his friends, family and team mates had to say about how difficult it is to trick him:

Mark Doyle:  The Beechey once joined the Socialist Party but quit when realized it wasn't a drinking club.
Dave Argue:  I heard The Beechey spends an hour and a half every Sunday watching 60 minutes.
Scott Mason:  My favourite The Beechey story is when his sister went to Mexico and told him that if he wanted to reach her, that he'd have to call the Mexican phone company.  So he went to Taco Bell.
Kevin Boston:  The Beechey is an awesome ball player.  I feel sad for him that he got fired from the M&M's plant for throwing out all the "W"s though.  Tough break.
Kevin Moon:  A couple of weeks ago The Beechey called me up to see it I wanted to go to martial arts with him.  He was really disappointed when there were no paintings by the sheriff there.
Al Fry:  I asked The Beechey to write the SPN test before becoming co-captain.  He sent it in a while back and I asked him what he got on it.  He said, "Drool".
Down Town Billy Brown:  I remember The Beechey when he was a kid.  I knew we had something special the day he tripped over the cordless phone.
Brett Mabee:  We were playing poker one night.  It ended really late and The Beechey wanted pizza, so I walked with him to the pizza joint where he ordered a small 'za to go.  The guy working says, "do you want it cut in 4 or 8 pieces?"  The Beechey says, "Better make it 4, I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 8 slices".
Brad Young:  I remember when The Beechey offered to fix my brakes.  It was nice of him to save me some money.  He had my truck for 3 days and I called him and said, "The Beechey, what is taking so long?"  To his credit he was completely honest and said, "Look, I've been working on this and I just couldn't do it.  You're brakes are still buggered but it'll be okay because I made your horn louder!"
Brad Wadden:  I once got into a minor disagreement with The Beechey on a safe / out call.  Realizing his error later he came up to me and said, "You were right.  But, look...I'm not going to apologize.  I'm sorry, its just the way I am."
Patrice Beechey:  My folks always said The Beechey was a gifted child.  I found out later, that they meant there was no charge for keeping him.
Chuck Cragg:  I'm at Cedar Kitchen one morning and The Beechey is at the next table doing a quiz.  He leans over and says, "What comes after x?"  I quietly say, "Y".  He yes, "''Cuz I don't know BRAINIAC!"
Jens Lepa:  You know me, I never say anything bad about anyone.  But I did hear that he brought an umbrella to a brainstorming session.
Geoff Keogh:  I just had lunch with The Beechey last week.  Poor guy.  He told me that he had just come back from filling out a job application.  At the bottom where it says 'sign here' he wrote 'Scorpio'
Jeff Dancey:  I saw The Beechey last week in the legion with a pile of books.  He said he was studying for a blood test.
Danny Chiasson:  Don't get me started.  It took me 2 hours to convince that guy that Fleetwood Mac wasn't a burger.
Mike Olliffe:  We have a guy on our team who recently lost a finger.  The Beechey went to console him and told him "its a shame that you'll only be able to count to 9 now".
Don Swabuk:  Oh, The Beechey is a blast!  Love that guy.  Although, we booted over to the dollar store between games during a tournament to get some gag gifts and he kept asking how much everything cost and asking for price checks.
Stephane Simard:  The Beechey Présentée une portière de voiture un jeu chaud. Il voulait rouler vers le bas de la fenêtre pour se rafraîchir.
Andy Gee:  I remember having a LOOONNNNGGGG counseling session with The Beechey.  He was a mess.  He kept saying, "I need to go to rehab, I need to go to rehab".  I kept asking why and he finally broke down and said, "Because I'm hooked on phonics"
Rob Rumboldt:  One day when The Beechey was helping me up from a fall he told me that I trip because I was getting ahead of myself.  He said that he has the same problem.  That's how he fell out of a tree trying to rake leaves in August.

On hand for Beechey night festivities were about 15-20 family and friends, including league stalwarts, Starsky, Gere and Marky-Mark (aka former victims)

Lets remember the evening through pictures, shall we?

This was the "SCAM" part.  Look at Beechey on the right, being the good supportive captain about to enjoy our joint rookie night.  Look at the nervous rookies not yet knowing that they'll soon be off the hook and The Beechey firmly on it.

 WTF???? (stands for Why The Face?)  The Beechey figured it out!

The Beechey not sure what's coming next

 The Beechey with his collection of gifts, including a signed ball, captain's hand book, a 'baseball star' ribbon, trophy, bobble head and, of course, The Beechey Beach Ball!

Rob in the foreground about to sing his speech (you'll read it below).  Very touching.

 Some of the many signs honoring The Beechey (special thanks to Megan and Tina for making and Connor for doing leg work)

A touching tribute to Ed McDowell from the faithful.  

"Life's a Beach with the Beach" and "The Beech, The Beech, The Beech is on FIRE!"

"All is Peachey with the Beechey" and "The Beech and Chong"

Awesome night Beechey!!!!   Can't wait for next year and Sophomore Captain's night!!!

 
THE SPEECH

Rob:  Are you all ready for The Beechey night?
Doug:  Sort of.  I always want one more gimmick, but I'll make do with what we have. 
Rob:  Yeah, should be fun. 
Doug:  Did you do a song about Beechey like I asked?
Rob:  You mean "The Beechey"?
Doug:  Ya.
Rob:  Say it
Doug:  "THE BEECHEY".  Frig.  I started it, could you cut me some slack?
Rob:  No.
Doug:  Fine.  Did you do a song?
Rob:  Yeah.
Doug:  Good, what is it.
Rob:  You know the song "Try" by Blue Rodeo?
Doug:  Yeah.
Rob:  Well I did that but renamed it "Fry" as in AL FRY, clever, huh?
Doug:  Fry?
Rob:  Yeah, cool, eh?  We're playing Dodge City tonight, right?
Doug:   Yes, but you were supposed to write a Beechey song.
Rob:  "THE"
Doug:  UGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!  You were supposed to write a "The Beechey" song. 
Rob:  Why?
Doug:  Because its THE friggin' Beechey night!
Rob:  Oh.  Well some warning would be nice. 
Doug:  I'm starting to understand why he calls you Painful Rob. 
Rob:  You have no idea why he me Painful Rob.
Doug:   Really? Why don't you tell me
Rob:   Okay, so you know how I'm Lebanese?
Doug:  Yep
Rob:  Okay, do you know what the most popular language in Lebanon is?
Doug:  Arabic?
Rob:  Yeah.  How'd you know that?
Doug:  Reading.
Rob:  Okay, do you know what the second most popular language in Lebanon is?
Doug:   Nope
Rob:  See?  Reading has its limits, that's why I avoid it.
Doug:  What's the second most popular language in Lebanon?
Rob:  I'M ASKING THE QUESTIONS HERE!!!
Doug:  I'm asking for the answer!
Rob:  Oh.  Well, its French. 
Doug:  So?
Rob:  So The Beechey OBVIOUSLY knows that French is my 1st language.  And he is also OBVIOUSLY aware of my love of bread.  And CLEARLY he knows that bread in French is Pain.  Thus he calls me Painful Rob.
Doug:  Did you just say "thus"?
Rob:  I think I did!
Doug:   And that's your story?
Rob:  Yep, he does it to show me respect.  He's just that good a guy.

And to the tune of "Piano Man" by Billy Joel, Rob totally owned his version called, The Beechey Man.  Music can be found ====> HERE

Piano Man

It's nine o'clock on a Monday

The regular crowd comes to play

There's an old man sitting next to me

Same as every game

He says, "Son, can you show me to 3rd base?

I'm not really sure where it is

But it's close and I'm beat, exhausted on my feet

And I have to go to the Legion for a whiz.

la la la, di da da

La la, di di da da dum

Chorus:

Give us a line up, you're The Beechey man

Give us a line up tonight

Well, we're all in the mood for a ballgame,

And you've got us all feelin' all right

Now Cal at the bar is a friend of mine

He gets me my drinks for free

And he's quick with a joke and its your ribs he will poke

But there's some place that he'd rather be

He says, "Beech", I believe this is aching me."

As his smile ran away from his face

"Well I'm sure that I could be a big league star

If I could just lose this knee brace"

Oh, la la la, di da da

La la, di da da da dum

Now Dude is a short story novelist

Who never stops blaming his wife

And he's talkin' with Dell, 'cause he needs someone to tell

About how she misplaced his bike

And the Dwayne is practicing politics

As the taxi - cabs slowly get phoned

Yes, they're sharing a drink they call baldness

But you can't let The Beechey drink alone

Chorus

Give us a line up, you're The Beechey man

Give us a line up tonight

Well, we're all in the mood for a ballgame,

And you've got us all feelin' all right

It's a pretty good crowd for a Monday and Roman gives me a smile

'Cause he knows that it's The Beech they've been comin' to see

To admire his hits for a while

And the yellow bat, it sounds like a carnival

And The Beechey swings with no fear

And they sit near the car and watch how he hits it so far

And say, "Man, what are you doin' here?"

Oh, la la la, di da da

La la, di da da da dum

Chorus:

Give us a line up, you're The Beechey man

Give us a line up tonight

Well, we're all in the mood for a ballgame,

And you've got us all feelin' all right

THE GAME

Game 1 Vs Dog Catchers:
Tactic:  Cockiness.
Result:  Failed 0-1

Game 2 Vs. Dusty Cleats
Tactic:  Arrogance
Result:  Failed 0-2

Game 3 Vs. Beer Bros.
Tactic:  Lovable Losers
Result:  Failed 0-3

Game 4 Vs. Gruesome Devils
Tactic:  Rain
Result:  Success  but still 0-3

Game 5 Vs. Blues Brothers
Tactic:  Woe Is Me 0-4
Result: Failed

Game 6 Vs. Dodge City Rounders
Tactic:  Distraction
Result: Failed.
0-5

Yes, we lost, but this was not your typical game.  We only scored 2 runs on the night.  That's the second game in a row.  For the record, that's not good.

However, we had a 2-0 lead after 5 complete and the defense was exceptional.  Again, no throwing the ball around, everyone was positionally sound.  We surrendered 5 runs in the 6th and faced the minimum is the 7th for the 3rd time on the night.

I'm going to ignore the hitting right now because we have yet to have a full lineup.  We have not had a very consistent turnout.  But the guys there are playing incredibly well with the leather, we just need to find a way to string three hits together.

On a runs per game basis, the Draft Kings are the only club giving up fewer runs that the Grisslies and the only other club averaging less than 10 runs allowed per game.  That could change by week's end.

We weren't going to hold down the likes of Dell, Peters, Fry, The Beechey and Mabee all night and the inevitable happened in the 6th.  Dude (because that's his name), led off with a single and was followed by a hit by Jeremy who moved Dude to 3rd.  Dell's double scored Dude and put Jeremy at 3rd.  After an out, Peters and Fry both reached and one would score on The Beechey's hit and the other on Mabee's.

And that was the ball game.

Next up for the Grisslies is another Stingy Defensive team, in the Hurtin' Units next Monday night.  They are currently the leagues 3rd best defensive squad, but they manage to score 4 times the runs we do!

Happy The Beechey Night!    

Stats Week 4

The Beer Cup

The Dislocated have once again retained the Beer Cup.  This time by the skin of their teeth, besting the Red Dogs 18-17 and stranding the tying run at 2nd base.  The Joints remain the only team to have defended the cup.  Next week, there will be only one Beer Cup game when the Blues Brothers visit the Joints.

Teams that have held the Beer Cup(3)

• Beer Bros.
• Hot Tub Woody's
• Dislocated Joints

Teams that have defended the Beer Cup(1)

• Dislocated Joints (2)

Teams that have yet to play for the Cup(10)

• Blues Brothers
• Dodge City Rounders
• Dog Catchers
• Dusty Cleats
• Grisslies
• Draft Kings
• Gruesome Devils
• Hurtin' Units
• Rusty Rebels
• Tap Masters

League Notes:

Well, it was a bit of shorter week for games as we had the holiday Monday taking away 2 games from us and mother nature robbing us of four more on Tuesday.  And after a full slate of 3 games Wednesday, we were only able to get in one on Thursday as the field conditions deteriorated in the rain.  But still, there was no shortage of entertainment value for the league!

• Nice clinic put on by Brad Young on Wednesday night.  5 for 5 with 5 runs scored.  If he keeps this up he might be called "The Young".  
• The Dog Catchers survived week 4 as the league's only undefeated team.  They narrowly escaped with a 25-22 victory against the Beer Bros.  Fortunately for the Dog Catchers, Jim Smith engineered a late scoring drive completing a out pass to Dave Doucette with seconds left.  Lou Conforti was able to hit a field goal as time expired.
• Despite there being only four games completed this week, the Rusty Rebels, Red Dogs and Grisslies all managed to sneak in their games and go 0-4 for the season.  What are the odds? 
• Yes, the Rusty Rebels, Red Dogs and Grisslies remain the league's win less teams.  Circle May 30th on your calendar.  Rusty Rebels Vs. Red Dogs!  If the Rebels win, you'll have to wait until July 2nd for the next potential winless match up with the Red Dogs face the Grisslies.  If the Red Dogs win, its the Grisslies and Rebels on July 10th.  
• I think there should be some kind of bet on who picks up the last win.
• There are no 97 guys out of 180 who have hit in every game and 35 remaining who have scored in every game.  

STATS

NOTE:  We've had bad weather, new score keepers and teams self scoring.  It hasn't always been pretty.  A few errors have been corrected, so please don't panic if you find your stats a little off:

Mark Doyle, .684; has been corrected to .737
Rob McCarron .684; has been corrected to .700
Mike Sheehan, .750; has been corrected to .765
Cam Clark, .692; has been corrected to .688

apologies for the errors. 

I've updated my 23 different excel workbooks (we'll be using them all by season's end) and started to work in nicknames.  I've just put in the more common stuff.  None of these will appear on the league website which is kind of the 'pristine' version of stats.  But here we can have a little poke at people...just for fun of course.

If you know of a nickname, tell me in the comments and I'll add it in.  There aren't many rules.  Its has to be clean.  It doesn't have to be funny, but it definitely needs to not be a HOCKEY nickname.  Those are stupid.  "Wayner" is not a nickname.  "Dougie" is not a nickname.  "Pielluschy" is not a nickname.

Okay...here we go

Of note (to me anyway), only 3 teams have given up fewer runs than the 0-4 Grisslies.  Weird.  

For the 1st time the Dog Catchers top both versions of the standings.  The big anomaly here are the Hurtin' Units who are in 9th place above but are tied for 6th below.  

The top 10 in average as compared to last years leader.  Its remarkably early but we have 5 guys with higher averages than Scott's ending average last year.  Brad got out once????  How did that happen?

The Hurtin' Units captains and their steroid workout schedule has really paid off!  And Gere is on the big bounce back!

Sheehan is really .765, but it doesn't affect his slot. Nice start to all the rooks!

We're getting close to naming a leader for the 1st quarter of the season already!  Last year's 1st quarter leader was Al Fry with a whopping 17 runs!  Brad, Brian, Steve, Jeff and Neil, all have 2 games left to add to their totals.  Brad Looks like a good bet to at least hit the 17 mark!  Worth noting that Gere's 12 runs were with a missed game too.  Nice.

Obviously slanted to a very imbalanced schedule at this point.

This list is starting to look like the usual suspects. 

 Things you may have missed this week. 

For the Grisslies Game five BLOG, Johnny Don't Preach, click HERE
For the Dislocated Joints game summary, click HERE
For the Hurtin' Units BLOG, click HERE
For the Donini 3 stars, click HERE
For the League Website, click HERE

Game 5 - Johnny Don't Preach

INTRO

Oh good!  Another lineup that just keeps on coming!!!!  The Grisslies dodged a bullet this week when we missed an appointment with the Gruesome Devils on account of weather.  Facing a 3-1 team with our 0-3 squad was a lot to ask.  So instead we get the much softer Blues Brothers.

Ya, right. 

I had a whole 'pick on Kevin Boston' BLOG ready to go, but then the guy went and ducked us.  I can't say I blame him.  When you're hitting over .900 you don't need to fatten your stats against the leagues lesser lights.  That's big of you Radar.  Besides, I've already written plenty on Radar, so I opted to move on to another victim. 

As I go through the roster of the Blues Brothers and I see that I've already written a Cam Clark BLOG, one on Ingo, Argue and Mason.  I'm running out!

Rather than go back to the well on some of these easy stories about Radar's Glove, lefty shortstops, Norwegian heritage, legendary mustaches or X-Men school, I decided to go a completely different direction. And at 10 minutes to midnight last night I figured out what that direction would be!  I would recount .....

THE GRISSLIE OVERHAUL:
 
Man, 0-3 and facing the daunting lineup that the John's have put together? Who needs the pain and anguish?  0-3 is bad enough but here are some Grisslie Specific stats with some Blues Brothers comparisons:

• The Captains are hitting a collective .421  (Blues Brothers Captains are hitting .480)
• We're dead last in runs scored. (Blues Brothers are 9th)
• We're 3rd worst in +/- (Blues Brothers are 8th)
• Only Brad Wadden, Doris Casullo and Rick Greenfield have managed to collect at least a single solitary hit in all three games.(the Blues Brothers have 9 guys who've done this)
• We're the only team out of 15 to not have at least single player who have scored a run in every games (the Blues Brothers have 4 who've done this)
• We have no one in the top 25 of total hits.  (Blues Brothers have 1)
• We have no one in the top 50 of at bats. (Blues Brothers have 2)
• We have no one in the top 75 of runs scored. (Blues Brothers have 4)
• Only one player (Winston Gayle) who'd played more than one game has an improved batting average from the previous year.  (Blues Brothers have 5)
• We have no one in the top 60 of runs scored per hit (Blues Brothers have 3)
• We have no one in the top 50 of runs scored per at bat. (Blues Brothers have 3)

But enough of the good news. Its time for a shake up.  Rob and I trade emails before and after every game.  I'm OCD and he forgets what he types so he keeps repeating.  It works for us.  Anyway, for all our bitching and moaning about this squad, we end EVERY single email with "I LOVE THIS TEAM"!

Yep, swear to god.  The 'something' missing isn't the players....its how we're using them.  So we're gonna move some stuff around and see if we can't find lightening in a bottle.  Or as Rob would say, 'one bolt of lightening is worth two in the bush.' 

New Line Up:

• First off, the new batting order will go in sequence of averages. 
• Al Hayward
• Murray Saunders
• Rick SpringGreenfield
• Winston Gayle
• Roger Gaudet
• Brad Wadden
• Glen Tinkler
• Doris Casullo
• Gord Dol
• Dave Muirhead
• Rob Farah
• Doug Dwyer

 That should make a difference moving the weak guys to the end.  Now the positions.

• Al Hayward - miss cast at 2nd and 1st.  He'll pitch.
• Murray Saunders - Talents are wasted in CF, he can call a good game, he'll catch 
• Rick SpringGreenfield.- We need to get a comfy spot for Rick.  Until further notice he's at Short
• Winston Gayle.- Lack of mobility in the outfield, he moves to 1st base
• Roger Gaudet.- Versatile, can play anywhere, we'll try 3rd base
• Brad Wadden. - Back to his favourite position.  2nd base
• Glen Tinkler - We'll take the upgrade on Winston's arm and speed and put him in Left Field.
• Doris Casullo - We'll hope that the Blues brothers are all righties and try to hide him in Right Field.
• Gord Dol - Half of our defensive center piece in no place other than Center Field. 
• Dave Muirhead - The other half of the lock down Center Field contingent. 
• Rob Farah - Rotate through the Infield, because just about anyone can field.  
• Doug Dwyer - Rotate through the Outfield drawing on his innate ability and ball sense.  

LOOK OUT BLUES BROTHERS!

The Speech

For the music, click =====> HERE

Rob:  Oh, this is gonna be SWEET!!!!
Doug: What's that?
Rob:  The speech for this week!  I've been working on it since draft day...finally nailed it!
Doug:  Really?  That's a long time to work on something.  You don't usually have that kind of attention span. 
Rob: Attention span for what?
Doug:   Working on a song that long.
Rob: What song?
Doug: The song that you....forget it. 
Rob: No seriously, this sounds interesting.  Tell me!
Doug:   You said you were working on a song....been working on it since the draft.
Rob: REALLY?  Me?  That sounds a little out of character doesn't it?  Is it any good?  What is it?
Doug:   I DON'T KNOW!!!  You never said and then you forgot?
Rob: What?  Just like that?  I forgot mid-stream?
Doug:  Yeah
Rob: So does that happen often?
Doug:  Yeah.
Rob:  Is that normal?
Doug:  For you?  Yeah
Rob:  Who are we playing tonight?
Doug:   The Blues Brothers. 
Rob:   The Blues Brothers?  You mean the Beer Bros.?
Doug:   Nope. The Blues Brothers.  They're a new team this year.
Rob: WoW!!! what do we have now?  16?  18 teams?
Doug:   No, still 15, we lost a couple last year.
Rob: Do we still have a team?
Doug:   Barely hanging on.
Rob: And we're the ......?
Doug:  Grisslies. 
Rob: Right of course.  Named after the bear.
Doug:   No, after the award you won.
Rob:  Really?  Who we playing again?
Doug:  THE BLUES BROTHERS! 
Rob: Right, and who are these new captains?
Doug:   The John's, Barlow and Tessier!
Rob: THAT'S IT!
Doug:  What is?
Rob: The speech, I remember it now.
Doug:   Oh, what is it?
Rob:  Its a Madonna song and I sing it in the voice of Scott Mason and do it like he's singing to to John Tessier
Doug:   What if Tessier gets pissed?
Rob:  I'll tell him it was about Barlow.
Doug:  What is Barlow gets pissed?
Rob:  I'll tell him you wrote it.
Doug:  What is Mason gets pissed?
Rob:  Who's Mason?
 

Johnny Don't preach

Johnny I know you're going to be upset
'Cause I was always your little squirrel
But you should know by now
I'm not a rookie

You always taught me right from left
I need your help Johnny, your glove is deft
I may be young at heart
But I know what I'm saying

The problem you warned me all about
The one you said would haunt me without a doubt.
Yeah, my throwing's a mess, and I don't mean maybe - please

[Chorus:]

Johnny don't preach, my arms trouble deep
Johnny don't preach, I've been losing sleep
But I made up my mind, I'm better than Lahey, oh
Can't lose to Lahey, mmm...

My arm started failing me
More erratic every day
Maybe it'll be all right
If I pack on some ice

But my friends keep telling me to throw it hard
Saying I'm too young, I got no senior's card
What I need right now is some good advice, please

[chorus]

Johnny don't preach, my arms trouble deep
Johnny don't preach, I've been losing sleep
But I made up my mind, I'm better than Lahey, oh
Can't lose to Lahey, mmm...

[chorus]

Johnny don't preach, my arms trouble deep
Johnny don't preach, I've been losing sleep
[repeat]

But I made up my mind, I'm better than Lahey, oh

Can't lose to Lahey, mmm...

THE GAME

(admit it Mason, you were singing that in your head)

So Mason's suddenly wonky arm aside, we had some issues with our new lineup.  Al Hayward wasn't there to pitch.  Roger Gaudet wasn't there to play 3rd.  Brad Wadden wasn't there to play 2nd.  Murray Saunders wasn't there for his assignment at Catcher.  And Dave Muirhead, half of our cornerstone outfield was unavailable too! 

Granted, we got a few good subs, namely Bales, Dancey and Doucette.  But you're not going to waste Al at any of those infield spots when you can utilize his speed elsewhere.  And Dancey won't go anywhere near 3rd base anymore.  He doesn't even go on the left side of the diamond any longer for fear of injury.  I even saw him slow down a couple of times going into 2nd so he'd be forced out and not have to turn the corner.  Its sad really, but I understand.  But anywhere on the right side of the diamond and he's gold!  And Doucette pretty much baby sat Rob Hayward in the outfield in our championship year of 2011, so there's a definite upgrade! 

So once again, we trotted out the 'new look' Grisslies.  Last weeks return of the 2011 championship team (3 subs) didn't help.  We'll see if a Woody and a Bros. and ex-Grisslie turned undefeated Dog Catcher would make a difference.

It didn't. 

Well, that's not entirely true.  Not only did the Grisslies play one of the best games in recent memory, but we may have played one of the best games ever!

Ever. 

Oh, we still lost. 

It was a 3-2 games that was highlighted by spectacular defense at best and responsible defense at worst.  I can't think of an extra base that was given away all night. 

Congrats to the Blues Brothers, fantastic night. 

Stats - Week 3

The Beer Cup

The Beer Cup has now been held by the Beer Bros., the Hot Tub Woody’s and the Dislocated Joints. Week 3 marked the 1st time that it was played for twice.  The Joints wrestled it away from the Woody's and then had to try and defend against the 3-0 Gruesome Devils.  Well the Devils are 3-0 no longer and the Dislocated Joints become the first team to successfully defend the cup.  Win or lose, the Beer Cup rights will only be played for once next week when the Joints visit the Red Dogs.

Teams that have held the Beer Cup

• Beer Bros.
• Hot Tub Woody's
• Dislocated Joints

Teams that have defended the Beer Cup

• Dislocated Joints (1)

Notes Week 3.

• Everyone tries to pick 'hot' teams early.  Championships aren't won in May though.  It was a crazy week.  The Dog Catchers are 2-0 with both victories being by just a single run.  The previously 0-2 Brew Jays schooled the previously 3-0 Tap Masters.  The previously 0-2 Dislocated Joints got off the snide against the 1-1 Hot Tub Woody's who are now 1-2 with a plus minus of +1.  Strange indeed.  The Joints followed up at 1-2 by taking down the 3-0 Gruesome Devils.  Yep, weird week.   
• Just to make sure people that people don't think that the WHOLE league has been set on its ear, The Grisslies, Rusty Rebels and Red Dogs continue to lose (FRIG).  
• Randy Rose and Jason Jennings hit their first homeruns of the season out of Keogh Park on Monday night. Rose’s first of 2 homers was positively MASSIVE!  Rose would then follow up with a grand slam in his second game of the week, again clearing the right field fence with ease in Keogh.  Randy Rose is the unofficial leader in fence clearing home runs with 3!!!  Nice bombs Randy.
• After the HR’s, I encouraged Downtown Billy Brown to hit one out. He said, “did I ever tell you about my last home run?” I said no. Then his eyes lit up like only happens when DTBB is about to regale you with a story; or when he sees Yorkshire pudding. And he proceeds to tell me through semi-glazed eyes, “1991. I was in a tournament and I was leading off. I hit the 1st pitch clear out of the park. Over the fence! I did a trot around the bases and crossed the line at home plate to high five’s. Then the ump looks at me and says ‘No Pitch, I didn’t say Play Ball’. The home run never counted and I never hit another”.  Wow.  And I thought I had bad luck.
• The shirts are in, the shirts are in!!! Nice job again Paul, they look great!
• Thanks to the Blues Brothers and Gruesome Devils for the quick turnaround on the make up date from Monday.  As I was reminded (repeatedly), it was just as cold on Tuesday night.  I still maintain that 8 degrees is a lot better than the -4 that you would have been playing in.  But efforts to make that game happen is appreciated.  Same as well to the Beer Bros and Grisslies.  We've escaped week 3 with our schedule intact.  Thanks guys.  
• How about those Leafs!  I promised Marky-Mark that I wouldn't say anything bad about them, so lets focus on the positive.  They lost Game 7 in record breaking fashion!  Way to go!!!

• We're under 50 days to the Help The Kids Play Tournament!  Bring it on!
• Randy Rose is the unofficial leader in fence clearing home runs with 3!!!  Nice bombs Randy.   
• So far we have 107 player who have hit in every game this season, down 29 from last week. 
• So far we have 41 players who have scored in every game this season, down 42 from last week.

STATS

Standings - the League view has a 5 way tie for 1st place

Standings - My view is that the Dog Catchers alone in 1st place by a 1/2 game over 4 other teams. 

 
Averages....well all those 1.000 hitters are gone except for Mr. Hjelholt.  Numbers 2 through 6 are particularly impressive having done it through 3 games.

A definite advantage to the clubs that have played 4 games already.  

 Seriously?  Jens?  Again?

The list of guys that you better keep off base because their going to score if they get on. 

And the list of guys that you don't want to even see come to the plate because you know their not just likely to get on, they're likely to score.  

 It'll take being hot for an extended period, but 47 may fall.  2 runs every game all year.  Could happen!
 

 Wow....The Dodge City  Rounder with a hot hitting Rookie?  Really?  My, that's unusual.

 Rick, Murray and Eric are the only new additions to the list this week.  Nice average bumps boys. 

 Things you may have missed this week. 

For the Grisslies Game three BLOG, click HERE
For the Dislocated Joints game summary, click HERE
For the Hurtin' Units BLOG, click HERE
For the Donini 3 stars, click HERE
For the League Website, click HERE

GAME 3 - Born to Run

INTRO

I still don't have a good baseball story.  Somehow I don't think we're too far from one.  1st off, the Grisslies are on the verge of going 0-3 or pulling out of an early season tail spin and going to 1-2.  Either of those will be a story.  Also we have the Guzzler's tournament this coming weekend.  There is something bound to happen there with that cast of character. 

But for today, nothing yet. 

So, I've decided to give you a little insight into my messed up sense of humor, and how appropriate would that be on the heels of mothers day?  Allow me to explain. 

First off, if you didn't find my mom funny you'd end up slitting your wrists.  That's probably more literal than you think. Actually, I'm not so sure how much to blame on my mom and how much to blame on growing up Sudbury.  If you haven't been to Sudbury, save the gas.  Its a great place to live, but I wouldn't want to visit it.  For years I heard how there were no trees and the landscape was something between an REM video with abandoned buildings and a moonscape.  I always thought that was mean and cynical.

Then I went back years later and the first thing I noticed was that there were no trees and the landscape was something between an REM video with abandoned buildings and a moonscape.  God its ugly there.  How could this be the birth place of Alex Trebek?  Toe Blake?  Joe Bowen?  Randy Carlyle?  Eddie Shack?  The expression, "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" applies to Sudbury.

The weather is brutal.  In the month of January its 14 degrees colder there than Toronto on average. As mentioned there's no trees and the wind cuts like a knife.  Your choices are laugh and get the hell out or cry and give up.

So add to that my mother's stories of woe and you'll see what I mean.  Italians are funny.  I remember watching Jewish comedians a as kid and thinking, 'man, that sounds like my family'.  I've come to decide that Jews and Italians are separated at birth.  Twins in a comedy sense, except for that Jesus thing.  Oh, did I mention I'm 1/2 Italian?  My mother is Italian, Dalla Vicenza.  Despite my cake name, I seem to have gotten the traits from her side.  My 6 foot tall blond, blue eyed brother got the other side, but he can at least make a decent sauce and wicked meat balls.

So, my mom has two phone greetings.

1. "hi". [borderline cheerful]
2. "(sigh), oh, hi dear". [depressed]

If you pick up the phone to #2, buckle up.  The conversations will usually go like this.

Mom:  [sigh] Oh hi dear.
Me: Hi mom, how's it going?
Mom:  Oh, you know. 
Me: What?
Mom:  Oh, its Comare (Godmother) Lucia.
Me: Really?  What happened to her?
Mom:  Nothing, remember her cousin who lived across the street?
Me: Maybe.
Mom:  You remember!  Zio (Uncle) Giovanni!
Me: Okay, sure. What happened to him?
Mom:  Nothing. Remember his son?
Me: No.
Mom:  [loud] YOU REMEMBER!  Carlo!  You played together all the time!
Me: What, when I was 5?
Mom:  [loud] YES, that Carlo!  Your cousin!
Me: We're not related Ma, and I don't remember him.
Mom:  [loud]Yes you do.
Me: Fine, I do.  What's the matter with him?
Mom:  [depressed again]  Well, he got married to a girl.  Italian girl.
Me: Good for him.  Why's that a problem.
Mom:  She's from the south. 
Me: Not all bad
Mom:  Well still.
Me: Did something happen to the wife?  Did she bring bad luck to the family or something?
Mom:  No.  She's fine. 
Me: So what's the problem?
Mom:  Its the father.
Me: Who's the father?
Mom:  [loud] Giovanni's wife's father!
Me: Oh. Okay.  So what's the problem. 
Mom:  [depressed again] Well, you know he's blind.
Me:  No Ma, I didn't know he existed 15 seconds ago.  I didn't know he's blind.
Mom:  [loud] Don't be smart.  I'm trying to tell you something important. 
Me: OK!
Mom:  Being blind is bad enough, but he can't hear so good either.
Me: Why not?
Mom:  He had his ears damaged in the war. 
Me: The war?  What war.
Mom:  I'm not sure.  could be frostbite from the cold war. But you know, being blind and deaf makes the wheel chair very hard to get around in.
Me: I'm sure.  Is this all the bad news?
Mom:  No, there's more.
Me: What?
Mom:  He has The Cancer
Me: Really? 
Mom:  Yes. 
Me:  What kind?
Mom:  The Cheek Cancer?
Me: I've never heard of that.  How are they treating it?  Radiation?  Chemotherapy?
Mom:  No.  Its a new treatment.  Salt water. 
Me: What?
Mom:  [loud] Salt Water!
Me: Ma.  They don't treat cancer with salt water.
Mom:  [loud] Well that's what Emilia said at the grocery store and she should know!  She's known their house keeper for 35 years.
Me: Emilia?  With the stutter? 
Mom:  [loud]  Don't make fun of Emilia.  She took you for cappuccino when you were 6.
Me:  I know, I haven't grown since.  So do you think that there's any chance she said "the canker" and not "the cancer"?
Mom:  [loud]  I don't know, I was getting provolone and all I know is he's on serious salt water treatment.  Three times a day!  Poor man. 
Me:   Okay, Okay, Okay.  Fine.  So is there anything else?
Mom:  Well he's a big Blue Jays fan. 
Me:   Yeah?
Mom:  Well, I know you like the baseball. 
Me:  Yeah?
Mom:  Well I told Comare Lucia that you'd give him a call and cheer him up. 
Me:   Ma.  You're kidding.  Tell me your kidding.  I don't even know this guy!
Mom:  [loud] Yes you do!  Don't talk like that!  He's your comare's, cousin's, son's, wife's, father!  You will curse us all if you don't call him. 
Me:   Ma, he's deaf!  Frostbite from the cold war, remember. 
Mom:  Just talk loud.
Me:  No way.  This time I'm saying no. 
Mom:  Here's the number ....
Me:   I'm hanging up ...
Mom:  416-39.....

Yep.  That's kind of my family scene.  Why I'm loud.

THE SPEECH

Rob: Weird week
Doug: I know!
Rob:  The weather has been CRAZY!
Doug:  I know. 
Rob:  So I've got some good news for you.
Doug: Good, I could use some. 
Rob: I've decided to play a few games in the field this year. 
Doug: This is good news?
Rob:  I knew you'd agree. 
Doug:  No, that was a question.
Rob: What was?
Doug: Good lord.  Here we go.  So why are you playing some games in the field?
Rob:   Well.  You know how I'm probably the best pitcher in the league, but I just say I'm top 3 just to be nice to the other guys who aren't nearly as good as me?
Doug: Yes.  I'm familiar with that. 
Rob:  Well I was thinking the other night while watching the Chris Jericho and Fandango dance off on Monday Night Raw, that if I'm THAT good a pitcher, I would likely be even THAT MUCH BETTER of a fielder. 
Doug: Why's that?
Rob:  Its obvious isn't it?  There's only 15 pitchers in the league and there's 165 fielders.  If there's that many fielders, it can't be too complicated. 
Doug:  You might be undervaluing fielding a little bit. 
Rob:  I doubt it.  By the end of my first game in the field they won't be talking about Pendlebury, Cragg, Peters and Mason anymore.  It'll be the Farah show.
Doug:  Its already the Farah show, but its a comedy. 
Rob:  Yeah, I'm pretty funny. 
Doug:  I'll say. What's the speech today?
Rob: Oh, I'm going with a song by "The Chief".
Doug:  Who's the chief?
Rob:  Seriously, you don't know who the chief is?  And you pretend to know music. 
Doug:  Enlighten me o' fielding wonder. 
Rob:  Bruce Springsteen?!?!?!?!  The Chief?!!??!!?  Duh. 
Doug:  The Boss?
Rob:  Oh ya, The Boss.  Chief, Boss, Manager, Leader.  Whatever. You know who I meant.
Doug:  Sure.  And what 'Chief' song will it be?
Rob: I'm going with Born to Run!
Doug:  Okay, giddy-up, can't wait to hear this one. 


And Rob in his fielding splendor broke out in a raspy can't keep a tune in a paper bag rendition of the 'chief's' Born To Run.  It sounded eerily like Bruce who can't really keep a tune either.  Music can found HERE.

BORN To RUN

In the day we sweat it out in the shops of a runaway Tottenham dream
At night we play through bad hops of glory in suicide riddled fields
Sprung from batting cages out on highway 9,
Shiny gloved, fuel injected and steppin' out over the line
Buddy this town loves it when baseball's back
Its a death trap, it's a suicide bunt
We play because it makes us young
`cause Champs like us, baby we were born to run

Dougie play again, I wanna be your friend
I want to guard your dreams and visions
Just run your legs round those stupid bases
And watch you play 2nd base like a little engine
Together we could break this trap
Well run till we drop, buddy we'll never go back
Will you play tonight its not the same without the Dwyer
`cause buddy I'm just a scared and lonely pitcher
But I gotta find out how it feels
I want to know if we can win a game, guys I want to know if this team is real

Beyond the palace hemi-powered drones scream down the boulevard
The girls comb their hair in rearview mirrors
And the boys try to look so hard
The amusement park rises bold and stark
Kids are huddled on the bench in a mist
I wanna win with you Grisslies in Keogh park tonight
In an everlasting game

The highways jammed with broken heroes on a last chance power drive
Everybodys out on the run tonight but there's no place left to hide
Together Grisslies will live with the sadness
Ill deal with the all the madness if Piellush strikes out foul
We can't afford to go 0 and 3 and be mired in last place
Where we really want to go and well walk in the sun
But till then tramps like us buddy we were born to run

THE GAME

Well this game was kind of damned from the start.  We only had 7 of our own guys and 3 subs.  The only consolation was that the 3 subs were all ex-Grisslie stars.  Jerry Muirhead, Dave Doucette and Dave Argue.  Grisslie legends all.

However, we were 0-2 and didn't have much of a handle on the squad.  Losing with subs wouldn't hurt.  Its hard to be cohesive without your regulars.  Winning with subs is no reflection of your team either.  But lord, could we use a win!

At the end of the day it was another one for the loss column.  We started well enough defensively until my error opened the flood gates for 4 Beer Bros. Runs.  The captains going a collective 1 for 7 (with the 1 being a courtesy 7th inning walk) didn't help our cause!

As usual, the Beer Bros. continue to be one of my more favourite teams to lose to.  I wouldn't mind breaking the habit though.

Next up for the Grisslies are the 3-1 Gruesome Devils.  Yeah, it ain't getting any easier.  

Stats - Week 2

THE BEER CUP

The Beer Bros., who held firm possession of the Beer Cup at the start of the week tried to defend against the Hot Tub Woody's.  They could not, however; overcome the Woody's 7 run first inning and had to relinquish the shirt after falling 16-11.

The Hot Tub Woody's are now the custodians of the Beer Cup.  Next Monday night, the Dislocated Joints will be the 4th team with an opportunity to play for the Beer Cup in this early season.

As a refresher, the Beer Cup is a new approved trophy, donated by the Grisslies.  Last years champs beat the runners up to hold first rights which were wrestled away by the Hot Tub Woody's .  Because carrying around a trophy from game to game is a little cumbersome, we are using the Beer Cup t-shirt that the winning captain(s) sign and bring to their next games.  At the banquet will be the T-shirt, Trophy and 12 beer tickets for the last club to hold the shirt!

OTHER NEWS

• Of course the other big news this week was that Rob McCarron was an hour and a half early for his game!  In related news, hell has frozen over.  Poor Rob, was a victim of a screw up on the website which was entirely my fault and makes it even more funny.  The "schedule" page on the website is was correct, but the "results" page (which also contains future games) had the right game days but wrong times.  It should be rectified now.  Apologies to anyone who got screwed up by that.  Except McCarron, that's just funny. 
• For anyone who saw Jays pitcher J.A. Happ get drilled by a line drive this week, it was a scary moment.  I was going to say he was Hapless, but that might be considered a tad offside.  However, it puts James Taylor's helmet and shield into perspective and I'd like nothing more than to see some other pitchers in the league adopt it.  Anyway, I get an email from my brother with a link to the Toronto Star Website and I read the Happ story.  At the bottom they had picked up a bunch of tweets that had been sent out.  They were mostly ones sent from other pitchers that had been dinged or their families....the right at the bottom was this tweet with a picture. 
  

The "5 year old fan" is my nephew and his mom sent the get well card to The Jays.  Good to know that the baseball roots run deep in the Dwyer blood.  But the kid can draw WAY better than me!

• I think the only game I've missed so far was the Blues Brothers and Rusty Rebels on C3 on Tuesday night.  Other than my game against the Cleats of course.  You can say something positive and negative about every club so far, but overall; the rookies look great and runs are up.  
• Its pretty well known that Chuck Cragg and I don't get along.  He finds me quiet and unapproachable and I find him brash and slightly arrogant.  Or maybe its the other way around. Regardless, he, in all the games I've seen so far, he is the has had the worst luck. There have been 5 bullets to 3rd that have gone as outs so far through 3 games.  And by bullet, I mean if any of them were a foot higher, the would have been doubles to the wall.  A foot lower and he would have taken heads off.  I could say there were two miracle catches of rockets hit by him to left too; but I'll revise that and say there was only 1 miracle catch and one very fine catch.  These things tend to even out, but right now he's snake bit.  
• Jerry Wallace seems to have found his groove quickly, good news for the Beer Bros.!
• Kevin Boston & Geoff Keogh both had perfect openers.  Tip of the cap gents, I know what that meant to you. 
• Having played in one game and watched another, I think the 3 rookies on the Brew Jays are going to make some noise by seasons end.  It may take a while to come together, but I like the squad. 
• Jason Jennings is off to a torrid start!  And if we actually kept the stat, I'm pretty sure he'd be leading the league in triples. 
• I don't care for Jim Smith much this week.  You might think it was a routine catch, but that's the hardest i've ever hit a ball. 
• The Draft Kings have a number of guys hitting well to start, Stike, Handley and Brooks come to mind.  But standing out is Al (Bones) Nicholl who has not just been hitting well, but also keeping rallies going with 2 outs.  
• The Tap Masters are scoring more often than Tiger Woods at a Perkins restaurant!  And they did the last one without Timmy (don't let my shorts distract you) Schrank who is a MACHINE!
• Finally, Holy ringer Bob Vaughan!!!  The Woody's have to be pleasantly surprised with their P1!!!  Oh, everyone knew he could pitch, but he is swinging a mean bat right now.  He has consistently hit the ball hard and on a line.  Someone is gonna get burned by him and I hope its someone loud and cocky (besides me).  
• So far there are 136 players out of 180 who have reached base safely in each game played and 83/180 who've scored in each game.   
• I had the opportunity to have a little catch up conversation with Wayne Bickford at Keogh Park on Thursday night.  He looks fantastic and says he's feeling great!  I gotta say, he looks like he could take Neil Pendlebury in a race right now.  Good to see you Wayne!

STATS!
 
Okay, lets start with the league standings then my standings

 Its a matter of preference....the standings below make allowances for the difference in games played.  The Dog Catchers, for instance, are behind the Draft Kings in the standings above, but in the one below they are tied a game back of the leaders.  Is it a big deal?  Nope, but we keep scores of the games so we may as well do it right. 

Player Stats.

Once we get some more separation of players, I'll trim these to top 10 lists.  But right now I'm just trying to cut off where it makes sense.  Its very likely that this list could lose half of its members or more next week, its so early that one at bat can cause huge swings.  Regardless, Boston, Comer, Richards and Goosney in particular are off to do torrid starts!  Congrats to the others at 1.000 as well, but those first 4 have maintained it through 2 games.  Not easy.

Congrats to all these fellas off to hot starts!  Its worth noting, that Boston, Richards and Schrank have managed to get on the list with only 2 games played!

Yes, this is the time and attendance award.  I keep this stat because its the only one I'm likely to make it on.  However, I'm in a hole this year missing 1 of  2 games played.  Alas, its a long season.  The leaders all come from teams tat have played 3 games, but it all counts.  Catching Jens ain't gonna be easy though.  104 is a HUGE number!

This is interesting.  Dane and Phil have only played one game so that needs to taken with a bit of a grain of salt (although it was a hell of a game). But Hollingshead and Cragg and Goodin stand out.  If they get on (over 2 and 3 games for them), they score.  Always. 

I really hope this one works out.  Right now you'll see a lot of duplicates between this and the previous chart but I think over time will see some interesting names on this list.  (Don't be offended if your name is on the list now - you're interesting too!)

Runs scored is a bit of bench mark stat and even more so than on base average, it is the most reliably accurate one we keep.  Richards, Sagert, Jennings, The Beechey, Hollingshead, Lahey and Lepa all come from teams that have only played 2 games. 

These last two are my favourite stats.  First the Rookies.  Last year was a hotly contested contest (that was a pretty redundant sentence) with Mason pulling away at the end.  No one is proving to be dominant with so few games played, but we have 5 so far sporting averages of .750 or better; led by none other than the Grisslies own Rick Spring Greenfield!

This one will get fun too and names will change rapidly.  So far (yes its early and won't last) all of the top 15 are ahead of the standard set by Ricky Bobby from last year.

That's it for this weeks look at stats.  See you all next week!

If you're looking for the game 1 Grisslie BLOG click HERE
Game 2 Grisslie BLOG click HERE
Grisslies 3 stars click HERE
League standings click HERE
League stats page click HERE
League schedule page click HERE
James Taylor's Hurtin' Units BLOG click HERE

GAME 2: Boys Of Summer

INTRO

All good things must come to an end.

• Rocky Marciano’s 49 fight win streak ended with his retirement. 
• Al Bales once started 38 old timers games with a shot of sambuca. 
• Edwin Moses won 122 consecutive 110 meter hurdles races before tripping and falling over one.
• Doris Casullo once played back-to-back games without get hurt.
• Rafael Nadal won 81 straight matches on Clay.
• Bill Sallustio once made 4 model airplanes in 22 minutes out of bird feces and spit
• Orel Hershiser pitched 59 1/3 consecutive scoreless innings.
• Rob Farah once started 21 straight games with a strike
• Byron Nelson won 11 straight PGA golf tournaments.
• Geoff Keogh’s 24 straight times on base to start a season.
• Bobby Orr won 8 straight Norris Trophies. 
• Scott Barton’s 32 straight times on base to start a season.
• Joe DiMaggio had a 56 game hit streak. 
• Rob Rumboldt once fell 38 times in one game.
• Ted Williams got on base in 84 consecutive games. 
• Gary Cox once went two pitches without a wise ass comment.
• Wayne Gretzky once scored in 51 games in a row.

 Yes.  All streaks must end. And so does the Iron Man Grisslie streak.  It dies at 126 consecutive games.

And so the Grisslie Iron Mantle is turned over to Robert Farah.  Rob has now played 7 games in a row.  118 to go Robbie.  

Oh, so why wasn't I in attendance while the Grisslies played for the this time in 5 years?  Well that's easy.  My daughter was in the School play of Little Mermaid and she (and the rest of the cast) were SPECTACULAR!

The Speech

About an hour before game time on the Donini deck....

Rob: So, are you ready for the game?
Doug: No.
Rob: Why not?
Doug: Because I'm not playing tonight.  I've been telling you this for 2 weeks. 
Rob: Oh, right.  That's tonight.  I sort of forgot.  But you're still bringing the bats, right?
Doug: No Rob.  They're in your car. 
Rob: Oh.  Okay.  But how are they going to get out of my car and to the field?
Doug: Doris will do it, I already talked to him. 
Rob: Oh.  Whew.  Well what about the lineup? We start in an hour!  I NEED  A LINEUP!!!
Doug: I printed it yesterday and gave it to Sue. 
Rob: Okay then, who's going to score the game then?
Doug: Sue!  She always scores the game. 
Rob: Have you thought about the Grisslie Banner?  Someone needs to hang that you know! 
Doug: I know, Gord Dol said he'd do it. 
Rob: What about the bases?  You know I can't put bases out!!!
Doug: We're visitors.  No bases. 
Rob: Okay, you seem to have most of the key elements covered.  But I'll need sunscreen, and umbrella in case it rains, someone to assign base coaches, my glove lubed between innings....
Doug: Rob....easy.  Everything will be fine.  Did you do your speech?
Rob:  Yeah.  The last one sucked.  This one is better.  
Doug:  I didn't think it was bad.
Rob:  Well you didn't have to deal with all the negative feedback, did you?
Doug:  Bull!  You got negative feedback on the speech?  I don't believe it. 
Rob:  I did and it was pretty overwhelming,  "too much The Beechey, not enough The Farah"
Doug:  You're a liar.
Rob: No!  I'm a Tiger.
Doug:  Rob you're full of it.  No one said that and no one calls you "The Farah"
Rob:  Its my wrestling name. 
Doug: Your wrestling name?
Rob:  Yeah, from when I was in WWE

Doug: What's the song Rob
Rob:  Oh, you remember Boys of Summer by Don Henley?

Doug: Sure do.
Rob:  Well I picked that one because "Boys of Summer" are baseball players, but you know the best part?
Doug: What?
Rob: Its all about "The Farah"

Here is the reworked version of "the boys of summer" from Robert Farah.  When he sang this for the group there were a few curious looks.  But this was Rob at his best, eyes closed, rocking, singing in his best imitation of Don Henley imitating Eddie Vedder.  Here is the TUNE. 

BOYS OF SUMMER

Nobody at the plate
Nobody on the base
I feel it in the air
The summer's nearly in reach

Empty stands, have no fans
The sun goes down alone
I'm driving by your house
Though I know you're not home

But I can see me
My leather skin shining in the sun
I got my hair slicked back and my
Helmet is on, buddy
I can tell you my love for the game will still be strong
Waiting for the boys of summer, so long

I never will forget those nights
I wonder if it was a dream
Remember how Basso made you crazy
Remember how he made me scream
Now I don't understand
What happened to his glove
But Gary, we'll get you back
We're gonna show us what we're made of

I can see me
My leather skin shining in the sun
I see them walking real slow
I'm Smiling at everyone
I can tell you my love for the game will still be strong
Waiting for the boys of summer, so long

Out on the road today
I saw a "chicks dig me" sticker on a bat rack
A little voice inside my head said:
"Don't look back, you can never look back"
I thought I knew what fun was
What did I know?
Those Grisslie antics are back forever
I just can't let them go but,

I can see me
My leather skin baking in the sun
I got the Grisslie top pulled down
Sleeveless version on baby
I can tell you my love for the game will still be strong
Waiting for the boys of summer so long

I can see me
My leather skin shining in the sun
I see them walking real slow
I'm Smiling at everyone
I can tell you my love for the game will still be strong
Waiting for the boys of summer, so long

THE GAME 

Well I've been struggling to write a game report about a game I wasn't at.  I had the score sheet but it wasn't a lot of help.  No matter how I read it, it kept saying 16-5.  OUCH.  

So I figured the best way to relate the game would be to share the email exchange between Rob and I after the game (and the school play).  I didn't get Rob's permission to publish this, but what the hell, he says no one reads the CLOG anyway.

Rob
8:25 pm
so we lost 16 to 5
I'm thinking we need some more practice
i went 3 /4 all good hits and scored twice
Hollingshead hit 2 out on me

Me
9:06 pm
Good god! I guess I can't miss again eh?

Rob
9:32 pm
Doris played the best but had no help from the rest of us
hurt himself on the first defensive play of the game
but he stuck it out
Winston played 2nd most of the game
Brad left field
Oh before the game we had a moment of silence for your streak
there were a few tears shed
but then I pointed out that I am the new holder
and that made everyone happy
did i mention i hit the ball very well tonight
and struck out 1
so 3 stars are
1. Tinkler
2. Farah ....just because i had to handle everything on my own
3. Doris ....he did play the hardest

Me
9:42 pm
If Doris played that hard, why not make him the #2 or #1 star?

Rob
9:48 pm
He made me handle the bats before AND after the game
I missed you man.  Don't miss any more games.

Me
9:53 pm
I won't

Rob
9:54 pm
EVER!

Me
9:54 pm
Okay....

Rob:
9:55 pm
Alright.
Go write something
And make me sound good

Me:
9:55
Okay. Its a gift and a curse.

------------------------

So there you go, the captain - to - captain synopsis.  Next up for the 0-2 Grisslies are last years champs, the 1-1 Beer Bros.  I've already had the pleasure of loosing to these guys once already this year when I subbed on opening night.  This is fantastic, three guys I consistently suck against, Doyle, Ross & Piellusch.  Perhaps antics are in order.  


To view the Donini 3 Stars, click HERE
To view the Grisslie results and schedule page, click HERE