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The NHL trade deadline. 

SHUT UP!!!  A month long countdown to the "most exciting day" in hockey.  Zzzzzz.  Oh.  My.  God.  This is worse than someone 7 putting on the 18th hole for a PGA win.  I won't humiliate anyone in our league by comparing the trades to what it would mean for 'us'; but by comparison it would be like trading me for me.  Who cares. 

So I don't follow hockey.  At all.  But the truth is, in this country, if you pick a paper, turn on the tv or radio, you can't help but pick stuff up by osmosis.  And that being said, I was shocked not just by the lack of moves, but also the lack of names.  Players I didn't even recognized.  Now just because I don't know names doesn't mean they aren't really valuable hockey commodities.  So I went looking for some type of rating that I could use to rate the value of the player.  Not easy to find something but the best I could come up with was the NHL Fantasy Rankings from before this season started.  However, the best I could find was the top 300 players in hockey.  Consider that there are 30 teams with 22 man rosters that would 660 players.  So this would rate only the upper half of the league.  Good enough. 

Lets list the trades (for fun) and find out how good these guys were. 

Andrei Kostitsyn (Ranked #63 among top 70 left wingers)
   FOR
2013 2nd round pick (not ranked)
2013 5th round pick (conditionally not ranked)

Mike Commodore (Not ranked among top 70 defencemen)
   FOR
2013 7th round pick (conditionally not ranked)

Tom Gilbert (Not ranked among top 70 defencemen)
   FOR
Nick Shultz (Not ranked among top 70 defencemen)

Carter Ashton (Not ranked)
   FOR
Keith Aulie (Not ranked)

Sami Pahlsson (Not ranked)
   FOR
2012 4th round pick (Not ranked)
2012 4th round pick (Not ranked)

Matt Gilroy (Not ranked among 70 defencemen)
   FOR
Brian Lee (Not ranked among 70 defencemen)

Daniel Winnik (Not ranked)
T.J. Galiardi (Not ranked)
   FOR
Jamie McGinn (Not ranked)
Michael Sgarbossa (Not ranked)

Johnny Oduya (Not ranked)
   FOR
2013 2nd round pick (Not ranked)
2013 3rd round pick (Not ranked)

Brian Rolston (Ranked 60 among 70 Right Wingers)
Mike Mottau (Not Ranked among 70 Defencemen)
   FOR
Yannick Riendeau (Not ranked)
Marc Cantin (Not ranked)

Steve Kampfer (Not ranked)
   FOR
Greg Zanon (Not ranked)

John Scott (Not ranked)
   FOR
2013 5th round pick (Not ranked)

Paul Gaustad (Not ranked)
2013 4th round pick (Not ranked)
   FOR
2012 1st round pick (Not ranked)

So lets review.  These rankings are not the be all and end all.  But they are all I've got.  Who gives a damn about the volume of trades.  I don't.  Out of all those trades, there were players moved who were rated.  Two.  Kostitsyn and Rolston.  At the beginning of the season left wingers ranked above Kostitsyn included Lupol, Clark MacArthur and Sean Avery.  Wow.  And ranked ahead of Rolston was Cal Clutterbuck (real name), and Nikolai Kulemin.

Now, we know it was a full day of coverage of lousy deals with lousy players.  But that isn't the really ridiculous part.  The part that is ludicrous is the coverage!

SPORTSNET:

On the air at 8am thru to 6pm.  10 glorious hours!

Analysts:  Pat Quinn, Doug Maclean, Neil Smith, Brian Lawton, Nick Kypreos, Brad May, Marty McSorley, Garry Valk, Scott Morrison, Damien Cox, Stephen Brunt, Mark Spector, Bruce Garrioch, Bill Jaffe, Christine Simpson, John Shannon, Jeff Marek, Don Taylor, Bob McCowan, Brad Fay, Greg Wyshynski. 

Then the reporters deployed with each Canadian team:  Dan Murphy, Greg McEwen, Roger Millions, Ryan Leslie, Gene Principe, Ian Mendes, Barry Davis, Tony Ambrogio and Louis Jean. 

My count is 30 people!. 

TSN:

Analysts:  James Duthie, Bob McKenzie, Darren Dreger, Peirre LeBrun, Gord Miller, Marc Crawford, Aaron Ward, Mike Johnson, Pierre McGuire, Gino Reda, Steve Kouleas, Craig Button, Michael Peca, Blake Price, Ray Ferraro, Darren Pang, Darren Dutchyshen, Dave Hodge, Michael Farber, Steve Simmons, Bruce Arthur, Alyonka Larionov, Jay Onrait, Rod Smith

And with the teams:  Ryan Rishaug, Jermain Franklin, Sara Orlesky, Shawn Chruchill, Katherine Dolan, Mark Masters, Nabil Karim, Brent Wallace, John Lu, Paul Hollingsworth. 

My count is 34!

So the total resources consumed by Canada's largest sports networks was 64 people over a 10 hour period. 

Staggering.  64 people.  Or 32 for each of the players who are actually (barely) in the top half of the league that were traded.  Or 6.4 people for each of the draft picks that were traded.  Or 4 people for each person traded who's name I've never heard. 

Hockey will never have a trade deadline like baseball.  Never.  There are two reasons for this.  One is the salary cap.  And two is that its virtually impossible to rate hockey players who are not the elite of the league.  The road to hockey hell is littered with players that were thrown under the bus and then turned out to be great later in their career. 

You'll never see trades like the Jays getting Rickey Henderson.  Or David Cone. Or Tom Candiotti.  And those are just Jays ones (back when they used to be in pennant races).  Trades like this happen virtually every year.  Cliff Lee, C.C Sabathia, closers, boppers....it happens every year.  But its not lower tier players for other lower tier players. 

Hockey sucks, but its over.  There shall be no more talk (after the poll).   

TIMETABLE

For those of you playing along at home, Androstendione is a Pre-Cursor, NOT A STEROID!!!

And this is the third pre-cursor BLOG, NOT A REAL BLOG!!!  Going forward we will be moving onto REAL baseball stuff.  I'm really looking forward to the next one which will document the championship off-season of each of the 12; 2011 Grisslies. 

But, in the meantime I wanted to set the expectations for this season in terms of what to expect and when.  (Upon reflection, that sentence was a little redundant....expectations on what to expect?  Idiot. I need an editor:  volunteers?  Anyone?  Anyone?  Bueller?)

First off, as previously mentioned, I've offered a page on the BLOG to each captain for this upcoming season.

If they want to a write up on their games, I'm happy to publish them here.  This would be similar to the "Quick Joints" tab that you see near the top of your screen or the newly created "Tapped Out" tab.   There would be a unique page for each team that wants to do this, but understand that its totally up to the individual captains and understand too that not everyone has the crazy gene that Down Town Billy Brown and I share.  Anyway, for any Captains that chose to do this, their updates will be posted quickly as its only a couple of minutes work for me to cut and paste from an email..

Second....

There will be the usual fair of good natured comedy following each and every Grisslie game.  The format remains relatively the same.  A somewhat comedic intro (the jury is out on the quality of comedy), followed by a speech from Mr. Robert Farah, Esq. who has been working on new songs all winter.  Finally, we'll wrap up with a game review.  The game reviews tend to be pretty short.

But wait.

That's not all.

If you act now, each Grisslie game will also be followed by the Donini 3 star selection as chosen by.....ME!  The 3 stars have become an integral part of Grisslie lore as we celebrate the Sublime plays and the Ridiculous moments.  Congratulations to Dave "The Contradiction" Argue, last year's Star of Stars.  I should have kept track of who won 2010....I think it was either Cal Steeves or maybe Argue again, but I'm not 100% sure.  If anyone remembers, let me know!

Third....

There will be a 'general' week in review that will be published by Monday morning of each week.  This will simply have the scores of the previous weeks games, standings (how I like 'em) and some other statistical features that you won't find on the league website.  That's not to imply that the league site is lacking in any way.  It is only that I have mustered a small team of statistical enthusiasts (okay, there's 3 people but only 2 computers) who are striving to present what little data we have in a format that recognizes our league's broad skills and contributions.

Fourth.....

On the topic of perhaps biting off a little more than I can chew, this year's BIG addition is the new "Game of the Week feature".  Ahhhh, the game of the week.  I have selected one game each week that I will 'report' on.  This will be done in more of a sports feature manner and the only comedy that will be introduced will be if something happens on the field that warrants a laugh.  Otherwise it'll be pretty straight.  At least that's the going in plan; but its subject to change.  Depending on the schedule, I'm planning on doing these from the Monday night games and over the course of the year every team will be represented.  If it turns out that one team never hits a Monday or another team has 8 Monday's, I may have to flip a few days.

So Here is what the season looks like pending a schedule.

3 Pre Cursor BLOGs (this is the last one)
1 Pre Draft BLOG
3 Bold Prediction BLOGs (Post draft review of each team)
7-10 Game of the Week BLOGs (depends how many are necessary to hit every team at least once.
24-28 Grisslie Game BLOGs (depending on the schedule)
1 Regular season stats review BLOG
1 Play-off Forecaster
3 Play-off Pool reviews
6 Playoff BLOGs.
1 Help The Kids Play BLOG.
1 Banquet BLOG
18 week in review BLOGs

So, the total for this year looks like it'll be 68 and 75 editions which is actually close to last year's total of 75 spectacular publications.   I remember how much my fingers hurt from all the typing by the end of last season...so I bought a new therapeutic typing glove.  If it works I might use it for hitting too!

This stuff is available on the LEAGUE WEBSITE, but for those of you looking for one stop shopping, here are some key dates:

• In Person Registration:  In person registration at the Tottenham Legion.

                      1. Saturday March 17th. 1:00PM to 4:00PM
                      2. Wednesday March 21st. 7:00PM to 9:30PM
                      3. Saturday March 24th. 1:00PM – 4:00PM

• Last day to Register, March 25th.
• Rookie night, March 29th
• Draft, March 31st (12:30)
• Opening day, May 7th (Tentative)
• Help The Kids Play / Michael Worrod Tournament, July 6-8 (Tentative)
• TOT Golf Tournament, August 11th
• TOT SPN Tournament, August 18-19
• Start of Playoffs, September 10th
• Banquet, October 20th
• AGM, November 17th (I won't be there, so its safe for you to attend)

Once the game schedule is released, the official schedule for the BLOG will be found on the schedule tab above or you can click HERE and book mark it.

Things will get much more fun going forward....tune in for the next edition where the real entertainment will start!

NEXT BLOG:  We Were The Champions (an indepth look at the 2011 Grisslie's off season activities) March 13th.  You won't want to miss this one!

The Free Sample BLOG

POLL RESULT:

We asked:  Help Tim and Jason pick the name for one of our new teams for 2012:

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!!!!!!!!!!

Fred Schwed, Jr., in How to Watch a Baseball Game (1957) wrote our favorite baseball box score quote, "The baseball box score is the pithiest form of written communication in America today. It is abbreviated history. It is two or three hours (the box score even gives that item to the minute) of complex activity, virtually inscribed on the head of a pin, yet no knowing reader suffers from eyestrain."

Before the Internet age and people getting exactly what they wanted when they want it, the baseball box score painted a picture as pretty as could be. Baseball is great that way. 

But this BLOG isn't so much about baseball.  Its about what to expect in the future BLOGs and is mainly for people who are new to the whole "BLOG experience".  The next one will give you the outline of the season and the BLOG schedule as I see it unfolding.  But this one is going to give you the live show.  Basically how this works is that I latch onto something that I find funny and try to build a theme around it.  Often they are (too) long diatribes that I beat to death (see: Chuck Cragg Story).  And sometimes they are pictures with smart assed commentary (see:  For Those About To Rock:  Bill Sallustio). 

The 'example' BLOG is the picture format, and lets face it, I'm doing it because I friggin' bored.  I'm cold.  And I want to recognize that pitchers and catchers are starting to report to Florida! I will probably kick myself in June or July when I run out of ideas and could have used having an extra one in the bank to pull out in an emergency.  Alas, sometimes you gamble and win, sometimes - not so much. 

Oh, and the reason that I had a serious baseball quote from the 1950's in the same BLOG as stupid pictures is to demonstrate that this space is random and usually makes very little sense.  Sorry, if you've come here expecting continuity and a sense of order, you are clearly looking for the Hurtin' Units BLOG.

Today's theme:  Stating the obvious....

 Good Call, always nice to be knee deep in
it before the sign goes up.

 WHAT????  How long did they sit on this one before
letting the rest of the world know?

 I believe this sign is found on The Blvd. in Tottenham.
The town doesn't let you know when garbage days get skipped,
but they're all over the sidewalk ending!  (sorry, I'll try to be
less "political")

 I was going to say who the child was, but I didn't want to
embarrass anyone.  Nice of Doris to hang the "I'm a rabbit"
sign on him though.  Just in case anyone thought he was supposed
to be a massive rat or something. 

 So.  I didn't know if this was an "anti" poster held by a
moron or a "pro" poster which would make it kind of clever. I'm going
to assume the former.  However, I'll hedge my bet and guess the back of
this sign says "Heterosexuals are STRAIGHT".  Hey, if it weren't for
dumbasses, I'd have nothing to make fun of!

 Well...only if you're wearing it.  If its on a beaver or a mink,
your sign is wrong baby!

 That's a good call.  I'm picturing John Belushi in circa 1970's
workout gear doing arm curls with a beer in the other hand and
butt hanging out of his mouth.  That just SCREAMS athlete!  Hmmmmm,
that could be a few of the number 1's in our league now that I think of it!

 Yes.  Obviously.  But the fact that this gem is on a sign
for Hooters is pure gold!

 Excellent.  This is good to know before you go into the church
because many Baptist churches in the South now follow
Dianetics by L.Ron Hubbard. 

 Might be a little tough to read, but the license is "AREDCAR"
Stellar, nothing to add.

Ummm.  So you're ticketed if you leave after 23 hours?

Is this in front of the municipal building in Alliston?

BAM!

No one but Bones could make that call.

Dammit Jim, he's a Doctor!

Holy crap!  That's why Australia NEVER loses any wars, their

camouflage is unbeatable!  We should paint all of Canada in it and

we'll never have to worry about being invaded.  No one will ever find us.

And nothing but....

NEXT BLOG: FEBRUARY 28th (The pre-cursor edition)
Be sure to vote on the current poll on the upper right of your screen (scroll to the top); and relax puck-heads, its just in fun!