September 3rd, 2009

THE SCENE



I have a lot of favourite quotes. They usually stick with me because they are either really smart, really funny or because they are so off the wall that they are .... well .... stupid. Quotes are really useful when you want to impress someone on the spur of the moment. However I never can think of one that's appropriate for the particular moment in time that you really need it. What makes it doubly hard for me is that the first one I always think of is from Shaquille O'Neal. I know. There's no accounting for taste.



When returning from the Olympics in Athens, Shaq was asked if he visited the Parthenon while in Greece. He replied with, "I can't really remember the names of all the clubs that we went to". Ahhh, you gotta love athletes.



My next favourite quote is from MacBeth, but I'll save that for another day. Why you ask? Because I forget EXACTLY how it goes and I'd have to look it up. That isn't going to happen. Instead I thought I share with you some of my picks as the best sports quotes of all time.



Joe Theisman: "Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein". (Joe stopped at a stop sign and waited for it to change to "go".)



Yogi Berra: "That place is too crowded, that's why no one goes there anymore".

(Yogi stared at an orange juice container because it said "concentrate".)



Jason Kidd (NBA guard): "We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees".

(Jason jumped off the boat and missed the water.)



Rickey Henderson (MLB hall of famer): "All I'm asking for is what I want".

(Ahhh, pure unadulterated greed!)



Michael Jordon (NBA hall of famer): "I enjoyed the luge" Referring to his visit to Paris.

(Recognized world leader in air walking, not so much with fine art)



David Beckham (English Football): "I can play centre or on the right right, and occassionally on the left side", when asked if he was a volatile player.

(His use of English isn't too POSH.)



Tug McGraw (MLB relief pitcher): "I don't know, I never smoked astro turf", when asked if preferred to play on turf or grass. (Its the genuine answers that make me laugh!)



Andre Dawson (MLB Outfielder): "I want all them kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I want all them kids to copulate me".

(Using big words doesn't make you smart, using them in context helps!)



Pete Rose (Best and most disgraced baseball player ever): "You owe it to yourself to be the best you can possibly be - in baseball and in life"(Sorry, I'm a BIG fan of irony!!!)



THE SPEECH

Okay...A little background on this weeks speech. First, this is a public BLOG. That means that EVERYTHING is searchable and available to everyone who wants to try and find it. Normally, that wouldn't be a bad thing. But apparently, a few "famous" people have "their people" constantly scanning the internet for mentions of their names to see if there is any slander, libel, etc that they can capitalize on.

So imagine my surprise Monday morning when I get an email from Marshall Mathers. For those of you wondering who Marshall Mathers is, that's the real name of Eminem; aka Slim Shady. Anyway, you're probably saying, how do you know it was really him? That's easy, the email address was Marshall.Mathers@hotmail.com, so it HAD to be him!



The email read as follows:

Yo, "G":



S'up yo? Yo, chill in the grill, fo sho! My peeps been zoomin the blog yo! Kicks fo shizzle my nizzle! Na I won't hit you fo benjamins if you give me a crack-a-wack on the next speech G. Na don't be frontin me money.



EM.



Again, I know what you're thinking. That was SO eloquent! Basically, Eminem threatened to sue me if I didn't let him write the next speech, so what else was I to do? Plus he was all over the OBA race with McCarron and Doyle and wanted to comment on the competition from a "street angle". So without any further ado....



Lose yourself by Eminem to the tune of

Lose yourself by Eminem



Instumental version of the song =====> INSTRUMENTAL

Radio version (no swearing) version ===> RADIO

Music sponsor CAMP & SEW (will not be named in any law suits with Eminem)

Look, if you had one shot, or one opportunity

To seize the oldtimers batting title,

Would you capture it or just let it slip?



Yeah,

His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy

There's vomit on his sweater already, Joy’s spaghetti

He's nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready

To hit bombs, and he’s not forgetting

When he digs in, the whole crowd goes so loud

He waggles the bat, the pitcher tosses the ball out,

He's not choking how, everybody's cheering now,

The clock's run out, season’s over, BAM!

Snap back to reality, Oh there goes gravity

Oh, there goes McCarron, he choked

He's not mad, and he won't give up that

Easy, no

He won't have it , he’s got two games left,

It don't matter, he's deft,

He knows that, and he's focused,

He's not stagnant and he knows

When he goes back to his Fraser Ave home, that's when it's

Back to the cage again yo

Time for more practice

He better go capture this moment and hope it don't pass him



x2

(You better lose yourself in the hitting, the moment

You own it, you better never let it go go

You might get one shot, do not miss your chance to soar

This opportunity might come once in a lifetime yo)



Now Doyle was escaping, through a hole that was gaping,

The title was almost his for the taking,

”I’ll be king”, moving up in the Wild’s new order,

That normal life is boring, but superstardom's close to post mortem,

Then it grew harder, other players got hotter,

the throws were all on him, another shortstop gone got him,

From Alliston to Tottenham, they know he’s a goner,

Something turned, God only knows,

He's grown big as a fable a triple X label,

He goes to the plate, feet are both stable,

Hold your nose in the outfield, here goes the cold water,

The Wild are cheering for him yo, he’s their number one product,

The bats through the zone, smooth with the flow,

No dive at 2^nd or 3^rd brotha,

So the soap opera is told and unfolds,

I suppose it's old partner', but the hitting goes on

Da da dum da dum da da

x2

(You better lose yourself in the hitting, the moment

You own it, you better never let it go go

You might get one shot, do not miss your chance to soar

This opportunity might come once in a lifetime yo)



No more games, his bat is nicknamed ‘rage’,

Tear this gosh darned roof off like two dogs caged,

He was playing in the beginning, the mood all changed,

He been singling, doubling and swinging on the stage,

But he kept his timing and stepping right at the pitcher,

Best believe somebody's paying the pied piper,

All the swings inside amplified by the,

Fact that he can hit it on a line to,

Any field, and he can provide the right type of hits for his teammates,

Cause man, these gosh darned aluminum bats hit it solid,

And it's no movie, there's no Kevin Costner, this is ain’t Bull Durham,

And these hits are so hard and their getting even harder ,

Trying to run out infield single, plus,

Teeter tottering, caught up between being a legend and a prima donna,

Grisslies standings drama, gaining on ‘em and,

Too much for me to wanna,

Stay in one spot, batters box is like a jail to him,

Has gotten him to the point, he’s like a snail,

I've got to formulate a plot and hit that ball on the spot,

Success is my only gosh darned option, failure's not,

Teammates, I dig you, but when I hit you’ve got to go,

I cannot grow old in the batters box,

So here I go is my shot.

Feet fail me not cause this might be the only opportunity that I got



x2

(You better lose yourself in the hitting, the moment

You own it, you better never let it go go

You might get one shot, do not miss your chance to soar

This opportunity might come once in a lifetime yo)



You can do anything you set your mind to, man

The GAME



Let me get the "we lost" part out of the way 1st, because that wasn't the story today.

We Lost. There. Done.

There were a few things worth discussing about last nights game. The 1st was that it was Grisslie fan appreciation night. Our fans (we hit double digits AGAIN), have been loyal, loud and tons of fun all year! Particularly Sue, Deb and Michelle who can always be counted on to start the wave. I should mention Jim too, who was a bleacher creature while the hip was healing. Honest, heartfelt thanks to all.

Then we had the batting race. Barring a team scoring a 100 runs in an open inning this week and a person going 14/14 in a game, there were only three things that could possibly happen this week. 1) Doyle does great and wins. 2) McCarron does great and wins. 3) Both tank and someone comes from behind to win. So Doyle & the Wild played Wednesday and Mark threw the gauntlet down and went 3/4. Rob would have to match that to win the title.

More background.

I dropped by McCarron's on Wednesday night and found out that he was just this side of the grave. He sounded awful and didn't look much better, but he claimed that he wouldn't miss the game. It should be noted that Rob HAD the batting lead and if he didn't play he would win outright. McCarron, in addition to leading in average, had the most the most at bats and the most hits of anyone in the 25. It wouldn't be a cheap win.

But that ain't Rob.

Ignoring medical advice and looking pretty sluggish Rob showed up a good 3 or 4 minutes before game time (Wynnyk won the pool on what time he'd get there). Anyway, he was so hoarse that he could hardly talk and not quite his normal sparky self in the outfield. Despite that, McCarron went 4/4 and they were all long and solid hits. So barring someone going 14/14, it looks like we have a winner. Congrats and well deserved!

Then we have Dave "Cabernet sauvignon" McGovern who played his first game of the year in the outfield and he looked great there. Not particularly busy mind you, but good. While signing autographs after the game, Dave could be heard saying, "whatever helps the team....I'll be there".

The next week will be busy with interviews and playoff profiles!

Stay tuned.

Out.

August 26th, 2009

The SCENE
Its show time baby! Our season has roughly 1/7 the games of a major league season, which means that in Major League Baseball terms its the last week of September and drama of the pennant race is in full stride!

Tonight is no different with 8 teams playing and 6 of those teams currently ranked in the upper half of the standings. Tonight's results with have a huge impact on the standings. Can The Wild build on the momentum of yesterday's victory? Can the Recycled rebound and recapture that game in hand? Can the Grisslies catch the Dodge City Rounders or will the Rounders hold them off in a head to head battle. And the Red Dogs need a win to stay in consideration for a top three finish! Lots going on to be sure.

From a Grisslie perspective, the last couple of weeks have been the best for our bats. Our defense which was pretty sound early has sprung a few leaks, but we have Diamond Jim Rouleau coming back into the lineup tonight after making a full recovery from hip replacement surgery. to help shore things up

Jimmy Rouleau before hip replacement (he was a sad brittle man then)

Jimmy Rouleau after hip replacement surgery (now he's often mistaken for Rex Smith)

The SPEECH

Who is more of a fool? The fool, or the fool that follows the fool?

Well, you can colour me stupid now. For months I've been buying this whole "Rob working in isolation" story. The labouring over song lyrics. The passion around finding the right words for the right moment. The desire to inspire and improve direction.

So here I am, "dropping by" completely unannounced to Rob's place last week and who's in the back yard with a boom-box, pen and paper? Who's reversing his cassette tape over and over and over to figure out that one hard to hear line from the Spoon's "romantic traffic" song? Who's humming along muttering out changed lyrics?

Doris Casullo.

All this time, I was giving Rob full credit and it turns out that he actually had a ghost writer on at least some of his work. Rob still claims that he did most of the writing but its really impossible to tell, isn't it? Doris claims that he only worked on "That's Amore", "O Sole Mio", "Arrivederci Roma" and "Non Dimenticar" (all were pre-blog efforts)." But who really knows for sure?

So a big lesson learned for me to never take things at face value. Having their secret exposed; there was no point in hiding behind the lost charade and Doris decided that this would be week that he would deliver what he created.

Appartently the message about improving defensive play wasn't quite sinking in so the "D" man thought he'd give it one more shot to right the ship.

For the musically impared =====> TAINTED LOVE
Music brought to you by NEIGHBOURS COUNTRY DEPOT (still kidding about the sponsor)

"Tainted Glove" by Doris Casullo to the tune of
Tainted Love by Soft Cell.

Sometimes I feel I've got to

Run away I've got to

Get away

From the pain that you drive into the heart of me

The game we share

Seems to go nowhere

Before we lose our fight

For I toss and turn I can't sleep at night

Once I ran to first (I ran)

Now my arm just hurts

This tainted glove you've given

I give you all a fielder could give you

Take my beers and that's not nearly all

Oh...tainted glove, Tainted glove

Now I know I've got to

Run away

I've got to

Get away

You don't really want to play “D” for me

To make things right

You need to catch and hold it tight

Its like your glove is made of clay

But I'm sorry that clay is in my way.

Once I ran to first (I ran)

Now my eardrum burst

This tainted glove you've given

I give you all a captain could give you

Take my beers and that's not nearly all

Oh...tainted glove

Tainted glove

Don't talk to me please

Any second now I’m gonna sneeze

That glove of yours has hurt me so

Don't make me take my bats and go

Tainted glove, tainted glove

Tainted glove, tainted glove

Catch one Billy, tainted glove

Catch one Stevie, tainted glove

Tainted glove

Tainted glove

Tainted glove

This was the most pointed, direct, lets get it going message of the year. There was no glove tapping or rah, rah after this one. No, quite the contrary, there was a lot of soul searching and I'll admit a few tears. But it was the defensive kick in the pants that we needed FOR SURE!

THE GAME

NOW this was a typical Grisslies game!

The Grisslies struck for 4 runs in the 1st inning and played a very tight defensive game with the Dodge City Rounders for the first 5 innings. If pitching and defense win playoff games, its time to start growing those beards.

We had our weekly STELLAR defensive play by Billy O'Reflex at third base. Clouthier snuffed out a potential seventh inning rally by snaring a wicked shot. There was the usual assortment of good plays in the outfield and Wynnyk had a busy night at 2nd. Diamond Jim looked good and contributed at 1st, 3rd and made the final out of the game playing Catcher.

Oh, in case anyone is following that batting race still.....McCarron was a killer 4/4 last night!!! Way to go Robbie!

The New rally cry for the Gisslies is to SMOKE THE JOINTS! (tonights game)

AROUND THE LEAGUE

Wild Vs. Lucky Stiffs.

The wild had a good overall team game and beat the Stiffs 15-4.

Dog Catchers Vs. Recycled

For anyone who missed it, the Dog Catchers are for real as they upset the 1st place and heavily favoured Recycled. There was a stellar relief pitching performance by Paul Piellusch who had to fill in for Randy who....(trying to be delicate here)...has a bit of a pain in the a** this morning? Final 15-12

Red Dogs Vs. Dusty Cleats

The Red Dogs continue to play "come and get us" at the top of the standings and they aren't letting up. They continue to play well on defense and won this one 15-9.

UNSANCTIONED, UNOFFICIAL, BUT HOPEFULLY ACCURATE LEAGUE STANDINGS AS OF COMPLETION OF PLAY ON AUGUST 25TH

TEAM

The Wild 23 14 7 2 30

Red Dogs 22 14 8 0 28

Recycled 22 13 8 1 27

Dislocated Joints 19 12 6 1 25

Grisslies 22 12 10 0 24

Dodge City Rounders 22 11 10 1 23

Torn Ligaments 21 11 9 1 23

Dog Catchers 22 9 10 3 21

Dusty Cleats 22 9 13 0 18

Banshees 22 9 13 0 18

Hot Tub Woodies 22 8 13 1 17

Rusty Rebels 21 7 13 1 15

Lucky Stiffs 22 6 15 1 13

August 20th, 2009

The Scene

A very dear friend of mine (who has been known to read this BLOG on occasion) once told me, "I'm not a vegetarian because I like animals; I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants".

And that is basically what I'm trying to do here. Take situations, events and stories, turn them upside down and shake them a little and see what falls out that we can look at a little differently. Well, that's the way its supposed to be, but.....

Today, I hate the BLOG. Today I almost swore at the BLOG. In fact, for the rest of day BLOG has become my own personal swear word. (The word BLOG when bolded can be substituted for your favourite swear word for the remainder of this edition) Why the BLOG am I saying that? Well I'll BLOGing tell you why, you BLOGing BLOGer.

This thing actually takes a little thought and some work to complete. I know it doesn't always read that way but trust me, it does.

This particular edition was supposed to be largely focused on the BLOGing Red Dogs. Those BLOGers. I had two or three pages of deep dive analysis on them and was ready to print it out to proof read. So, because I'm BLOGing clever as hell, I copy the BLOG to a word document and print it from there. It looks BLOGing sweet and its easy to do.

Too BLOGing easy apparently.

So, I hightlighted all the text in the BLOGing BLOG and hit BLOGing delete instead of BLOGing copy.

Gone. Unrecoverable. I know there are a few techies out there that will tell me that they would have recovered it off a scratch pad or by time traveling with their PC or some BLOGing story like that....but trust me, it was gone, gone, gone.

So I'm not going to redo all the research that I did, but here is generally what I found. The Red Dogs score WAY more runs than the Grisslies. The Red Dogs give up WAY fewer runs than the Grisslies. However, the Grisslies and Red Dogs are pretty similar one way.

If you were to take away wins and losses and JUST look at stats, you'd find that that the Red Dogs look more like the teams around 6th place. Yet they are in 2nd. Also, based purely on stats, the Grisslies look like an 11th placed team and they are 8th. There was a fair bit of subjectivity that went into my calculations much of which I now either forget (though I thought it was brilliant at the time) or I'm too BLOGing angry to care about it...but you get the gist.


I attributed the success of the Red Dogs to the one stat we don't capture & that's defense. It doesn't really show up in a measurable way on the score sheet, because ALL teams give up extra outs every game. My guess is that they do this less than other teams. I know from the Grisslie perspective we noticed a big improvement when we moved from allowing 12 outs an inning to 8. Now that we're down to 6 and its almost manageable. If we could just get teams to stop hitting to me we'd be in great shape! So, enough about my BLOGing misery with this BLOGing BLOG and on to the reason why you tuned in today.....


The SPEECH


The win earlier this week was sorely needed by the Grisslies and as good as it was to get, there was nothing really pretty about it.


19-18 is not a typical Grisslie game. We usually either really stink and lose 18-5 or we win or lose by three while scoring 12 or 13. This high scoring dynamic for both teams is new variable that we simply can not afford. If there's another thing to think about someone is bound to get hurt.


After the win, Rob had two days to ponder his approach. There was clearly nothing wrong with bats as we managed to score 19 runs. There was clearly nothing wrong with the pitching because the ball seemed fine when it left his hand. The only area that could be called into question was the defense. To say the defense was suspect would be kind. In recent games we've had 1st baseman playing 2nd base at the same time (me), 1st basemen failing to scoop balls out of the dirt (me), 3rd basemen throwing wildly to vacant bases (yep, me), outfielders diving for balls that they can't possibly reach (guilty, again), outfielders air mailing balls over 3rd base and nearly killing spectators (got ya - that was Doris) and 3rd basemen failing to touch the bag for sure outs before throwing home (back to me for that one). Clearly I'm no Danny Chaisson defensively, but at least I've got my height and stunning good looks.


This obviously had to stop, but how? Rob knew that if he pushed the defense too hard, that it would end up rattling them and make things worse. He was reminded of the day that he invented static electricity. that was the same day he learned that if you rub someone the wrong way, you can wind up getting shocked. So tact was clearly the key.


Rob recalled his early days in the game when as a young semi-pro lob ball player, he was playing on a tournament team in Millwaukee Wisconsin. That team's defense was in a similar state as the Grisslies and he saw an athletic looking kid with a glove sitting in the stands. He asked him to play and quite by accident met the greatest defensive player he had ever seen.


That was the story that would inspire the troops. He was sure of it. Now to set it to music.
Thirty minutes before game time Rob Farah could be seen in the bleachers. The sweet scent of incense wafting about his head. When the moment was right he gathered the team around. He slowly and dramatically pulled the monks hood off of his head. There was a stillness in the air when Doris began a quiet but steady stacatto bass chant: ba ba BA BA BA; ba ba BA BA BA; ba ba BA BA BA.

Rob and Doris practicing the speech at the Conservation area in Tottenham. (Doris on the left)

For the musically impaired here is the link to the tune ====> MUSIC
Sponsored by Tottenham Foodland (Before anyone gets in trouble, this whole sponsorship thing is just a JOKE!)



That Glove Rocks and Rolls (to the tune of)
I LOVE ROCK & ROLL


I saw him polishing his glove to make it clean,
I knew he used canola oil to get that sheen,
This guy’s “D” was gonna be strong,
Playing won’t take too long,


And I could tell it wouldn’t be long,
Till that glove was playing behind me,
Yeah, me!


Singing,
That glove rocks and rolls,
So catch another hard hit ground ball baby,
That glove rocks and rolls,
It’ll take no time to turn a double play for me.


He kicked the dirt and I could tell he was ready to play,
Then he tipped his cap and said, “get on with the game”,
“Watch that runner you bag of bones”,
“’cause he’s thinking of stealing home”,



And next he was moving the “D” around for me,
Yeah me!
Moving them all around and suddenly we were strong,
Great “D”!


Singing,
That glove rocks and rolls,
So catch another hard hit ground ball baby,
That glove rocks and rolls,
So it’ll take no time to turn a double play for me.



Rob's team won 32-0 that day. Only one runner reached third base (a hit batter, advanced to second on a wild pitch and to third on a balk). No one else passed 1st base. Rob Farah would never see this kid again. Everyone tapped gloves at the end of Robbie's rendition and it appeared as though things were heading in the right direction. However, the story needs closure. The next spring in 1974, the starting rookie starting short stop for the Milwaukee Brewers was none other than future hall of famer Robin Yount. He looked strikingly similar to the "kid" who played defense for Rob's team the summer before. Except for that crazy new mustache.

Coincidence? Perhaps.

A fluke? Maybe.

A made up story? You would doubt the guy that invented Tin Foil and Static Electricity? Have you no shame?


The GAME



(EDITORS NOTE: Since "the strikeout" (you know what I'm talking about), I am 8/11, hitting .727. That's pretty good. A small sample size to be sure, but pretty good. So lets look at the 3 non hits, shall we? Non hit #1, a ground out to 1st. It happens. Non-hit #2, a triple thrown out at home. Should NEVER happen. Non-hit #3, a single thrown out at 2nd. Should NEVER happen. So, I SHOULD be 10/11, hitting .909 in that stretch if only I was a little more Tin Man and a little less Scarecrow (you'll have to work that metaphor out yourself))



Uggggh!


My one game streak of not making stupid base running decisions has come to a screeching halt. I can't BLOGing believe that it happened again. I'm SOOO Alex Rios. Another base running blunder. This time a triple lost. My whole entire team yelling at me to stop running and I listen to the one person in the stands telling me to run, run, run. If I ever find out who that was..... Fortunately, and believe me, its hard to find fortune when you want to crawl under the 3rd base bag; it was in the 1st inning and I had lots of time to make up for it.


Now for the real game, where to start?


Well, Rob's speech really helped us focus on defense for one thing. At least it did in the 5 innings that we didn't give up 7 runs. The Grisslies have an uncanny ability (which is probably a good thing at this point) to be completely unaffected by the successes and failures of previous innings. Both individually and as a team. As a team we can get absolutely clobbered and then the next inning shut them down. Individuals can go from hitting into double plays to turning double plays defensively. Its a good trait to have.


The great defensive performance that I had predicted from the Red Dogs didn't quite materialize and is evidence that I should really get out of the business of making predictions. Apparently odds makers in Las Vegas DO NOT lay awake at night worried that I will come in and win all their money.


In fairness their defense was fine, but the Grisslies had their best offensive game of the year. While there were no home runs in the game, the Grisslies hit no less than 5 triples to go along with a whack of doubles. There may have actually been more extra base hits than singles!


Of particular note for the Red Dog's, has anyone ever seen a game where David Polny doesn't wind up FILTHY? That guy is all heart and plays hard but fair. He wears shorts and slides into 2nd base, seemingly every game. There is a story going around the "Club House" of a game where Polny was on 1st and the guy hitting behind him walked. Polny supposedly sprinted to 2nd and slid. Playing second on defense, he gets in the dirt for ground balls and never misses an opportunity to be involved in the play. All effort, all the time. Or as Rob Farah likes to say, "Polny is the MIP (most intense player)".


Defensively, for the Grisslies, the outfield carried the day with Ingo catching a deep fly that I lost at about 200 feet into the night sky. Doris made a leaping catch on the run on a screamer heading to the fence. McCarron made a number of catches to go along with hitting the cover off of the ball and Big Mac made a great, no - a TREMENDOUS, shoe string catch on a ball hit down the line that looked like it was destined for the corner.


The infield defense was pretty solid but there were two excellent plays with Billy turning a double play on a line drive and Farah catching a bullet in his teeth. The Grisslies needed every defensive play they got as the final was a gaudy 22 - 17.


There was one pretty serious injury in the game as Clifford "the fury" Stacey took a thrown ball off the forehead in the 1st inning. It cut him open and looked at first like it would need stitches. Fortunately for Cliff there was immediate medical supervision available. The medic (who asked not to be named) was quoted as saying "I looked in the cut and nothing was in there". Its unclear as to whether that means Cliff's head was empty or if there was no dirt in the wound. MRI to follow.




So the standings are getting very interesting with a couple of surprise results this week. The Grisslies have 3 games and 6 points left on the table and all games against solid competition. There is still optimism for a top 5 finish. Not bad after a 2-8 start.


Comments are always appreciated!


Out.

August 27th, 2009

The Scene

There are nights that I sit down to write this post and I feel like I'm watching myself in a episode of Doogie Howser. You know how he used to write in his journal at the end of each show with his little "lesson learned" or "moral of the week". There is a line from an Eminem song that I'd like to use about that, but I promised not to swear in the BLOG.

The Grisslies lost 12-7.

So, what does one write about after going 1 for 3 in a loss?

What does one write about when the 1 time on base was via a four pitch walk?

When you managed to get caught in a run down (again) between 2nd and 3rd?

When the only reason you got back to 2nd safely was by getting drilled in the back with the throw from third?

When the margin of the loss can be completely traced to your two miss played balls in left and one in right?

That's kinda easy, you deflect!

So after the game I got to spend a bit of time at the Club House with Tito. It wasn't so much an "interview" as it was learning opportunity for me ..... and the things I learned!

For instance, did you know......

• That Tito's tears can cure cancer, but he never cries?
• That Tito doesn't hunt because it implies the possibility of failure; therefore he goes killing?
• That Tito sold his soul to the devil in exchange for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability? Shortly after the deal was finalized, Tito roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, admitted that he should have seen it coming.
  
• Tito built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assissination. Tito got there just in time and deflected all of the bullets with a menacing glance. Alas, history remained the same because JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
  
• In the fine print on the last page of the Guiness Book of World Records, it actually says, "Note: All records are actually held by Tito. Everyone mentioned in the preceeding pages of this book are the best of the losers".
  
• Tito is in the middle of a law suit with NBC. He claims (rightfully) that the name of the show Law & Order were stolen from the nick names for his left and right fists.
  
• To prove a point, Tito once actually put Humpty Dumpty together again. Then he gave him a round house kick to the face and ate scrambled eggs.
  
• Tito kicked Neo out of Zion. Neo is now "The Two". There is only one, "The One".
  
• Tito knows where Carmen Sandiego is.
  
• If you have 5 dollars and Tito has 5 dollars, he has more money than you. Because he said so.
  
• Tito once broke the land speed record on a bicycle that was missing the chain and back tire.
  
• Tito sleeps with a night light. This isn't because he's afraid of the dark. Its because the dark is afraid of Tito.
  
• Tito never cries. When he feels sad he round house kicks himself and he cheers up, because he knows that only he can survive one of his round house kicks.
  
• Tito doesn't change his clocks in spring and fall. The sun knows that it rises and sets when he tells it to.
  
• Tito once brought a still born lamb back to life by simply laying his hands on it. After an amazed crowd gathered he gave the lamb a round house kick and killed it. Sometimes the crowd needs to be reminded that Tito can giveth and Tito can taketh away.
  
• Once Tito was refused an Egg McMuffin at MacDonalds because he ordered at 10:35. He round house kicked the restaurant so hard that it became a KFC.
• Tito doesn't believe in Belgium.
  
• Tito has never blinked. Ever.
• Tito does not use spell checker. In the event that he were to misspell a word, the dictionary will change.
  

Deflect, deflect, deflect. Its well known that Tito has the best sense of humour in the league (he told me that) which is why I feel confident that this little bit of light comedy won't result in a round house to my head.

The Speech

There is a bit of a problem with "the speech". The problem is that the "BLOG" is getting requests now for songs. I'm hearing stuff like people wanting metal, grunge, thrash, hip-hop etc. Now I for one would be all over a little Eminem, Nas or Snoop, but I don't think that most of our audience would know what the heck is going on. I wouldn't mind a little reggae either, but the rule of thumb is that the song needs to be recognizable to MOST people. Motorhead isn't going to work.

Plus I'm at the mercy of the actual song writers....I can suggest from time to time (although it costs me a jug - actually getting up this morning cost me a jug), but I'm not calling the shots.

So yesterday, Rob Farah said to me, "what you did just then was stupid, that's a jug". Oh, then he said, "you know, I think I'm going to do something a little different with the speech this week. The team is playing well and there are only two games left, so lets just enjoy the games. I think instead we should recognize some of the people who have contributed to the league as subs. It would be impossible to name them all, but I bet I could get a lot of them".

Last night at the exective meeting, (to the absolute DELIGHT of his colleagues) Rob brought out his acoustic guitar and put on a little show.

50 ways to get another by Robert Farah; to the tune of:
50 ways to leave your lover by Paul Simon.

Music for people who don't remember songs from the 70's ====> MUSIC
The sponsor for our music today is Candy's Unisex Hair Care

The problem is all inside your head", I said to Jeff Dancey
The answer is easy if you take it logically
I'd like to help get you a player maybe three
‘Cause with players, there must be fifty ways to get another

John Stiff said it's really not my habit to intrude
Furthermore, I hope my meaning won't be lost or misconstrued
But Farah should repeat himself, at the risk of being crude
I agree, there must be fifty ways to get another
Fifty ways to get another

You can click with Rick Cudnik,
Be dandy with Mike Candy,
Don’t be a cynic about Wynnyk,
But I can get you Andy Gee,
No fighting about Argue,
With Dol, ‘ya don't need to discuss much
Foerster could be your team’s Key,
And James Taylor will make you free

You’re bound to win with Hipkin,
Play in the dark with Cam Clark,
You’re sure to do well with Sandy Bell,
Just listen to me
Hit ‘em off the roof with Don Booth,
With Cox ‘ya don't need to discuss much,
You’ll never suffer with Pulfer,
And now your team is free.

Dave McKendrick said, “okay, now I see your game”,
Don Booth Said, “I love to play, you can always call my name”,
Rob said, “I appreciate that and in future it would ease my pain
If I got a little time it wouldn’t cause you shame.

They all agreed to just have a pint tonight,
Believing that in the morning they’d begin to see the light
But the more they drank the more they realized that it would be alright
‘Cause with players, there must be fifty ways to get another
Fifty ways to get another

You get the big swing from Trevor King,
With Saunders there’s no bloopers,
You don't need to be cross, Ross
Just listen to me.
The defense isn’t porous with Doris,
The bat isn’t hurtin’ with Burton,
With Jens ‘ay don't need to discuss much,
With Polney the effort isn’t phony,
and set your team free

You’ll never whiff with Olliffe,
Get your hooks into Steve Brooks,
He’ll plug up the gap, Kapp
Just listen to me
With Fonzie you have paparazzi,
With Stock, ‘ya don't need to discuss much
Rob Hayward is no nerd, You’ve set your team free.

STANDINGS

Updated, unauthorized, unsanctioned, unsolicited, unofficial and quite possibly unwelcomed standings.

FYI: I was up until 3am trying to resolve a complaint about the columns not being straight. I can only hope that today's effort passes the readerships scrutiny!!!

		GP	W	L	T	PTS
1	THE WILD	23	14	7	2	30
2	RED DOGS	23	15	8	0	30
3	RECYCLED	21	13	7	1	27
4	DISLOCATED JOINTS	21	13	7	1	27
5	GRISSLIES	23	12	11	0	24
6	DODGE CITY ROUNDERS	21	11	9	1	23
7	TORN LIGAMENTS	21	11	9	1	23
8	DOG CATCHERS	22	9	10	3	21
9	DUSTY CLEATS	21	9	12	0	18
10	BANSHEES	22	9	13	0	18
11	HOT TUB WOODY'S	22	8	13	1	17
12	RUSTY REBELS	21	7	13	1	15
13	LUCKY STIFFS	21	6	14	1	13
M	Torn Ligaments	vs	Banshees
M	Recycled	vs	The Wild
TU	Grisslies	vs	Dodge City Rounders
TU	Dusty Cleats	vs	Red Dogs
TU	Recycled	vs	Dog Catchers
TU	The Wild	vs	Lucky Stiffs
W	Grisslies	vs	Dislocated Joints
W	Red Dogs	vs	Dislocated Joints

SPECIAL REPORT

The SCENE

If you build it they will come.... Last night in downtown Tottenham, players from across the league were drawn to Keogh park like flies to bug lights.

Like W.P. Kinsella's classic book, Field of Dreams, this game was one part baseball and one part everykid's dream. There were 8-10 players of other teams as well as a number of supporters for both The Wild and Recycled in the stands last night. They were treated to one of the best games of the year.

It was a playoff, party atmosphere as the sun went down (surprisingly in the west again, I beat Tito on a 5 dollar bet) the lights started to take effect. Everyone knew this game had a lot riding on it. Not the least of which was first place in the league. The Wild had held the first place mark for much of the season before starting to skid a little bit. The Recycled were in 1st place by one point entering the game ahead of the surging Wild who are tied with the Red Dogs. Recycled had a game in hand over both teams. Aside from the teams, there was also the batting race.

I know its an OBA race, but I prefer to call it a batting race. I'll get to that in a minute.
Rob, Doris, Fonzie and Brett, 4 of thousands doing the WAVE at Keogh park last night

Overall, the game lived up to the hype. It was just a few innings too short. There were a few times when the game looked over and out of reach and one team or the other would roll a 7 and get right back in it. There weren't too many freebies out there and the bulk of the hits were clean.
DENNIS SHORT SNARES ONE, JOHN TESSIER QUOTED AS SAYING, "FINALLY"!

Dennis, having traded in his floral print shirt to play 3rd base last night continued to encourage players to hit the ball lower and lower. The picture is a little decieving, but eye witness accounts indicate that he got a full 3 inches off the ground.

Then we have Steve Brooks. The batting details will come out shortly, but Jamie McClean hit a little hump back liner to Brooks that Steve juggled all the way to the Legion parking lot (where he had his Whitney Houston CDs alphabetized in the car) before he finally secured it. Brooks took his defense to the "next level" when the infield throw around sailed passed him into left field. Its hard to do that and still look cool, but Steve pulled it off.

This might have something to do with the MONSTER blast that he it just right of dead centre. The Grisslies are thinking of changing their fielding strategy against him now. Instead of 4 guys in right field, we might go 3 in right and one in the tennis court.

The Batting Race

So entering the game, Doyle was leading the league with a staggering .803 average and McClean was second and still insight (with a game in hand) at .786.

Doyle had honors with first ups and hit into a very routine fielders choice. 1/1 .805
McClean did the same but with no one on base so he was thrown out. 0/1 .775

Doyle's 2nd threw off the defense with a solid triple the other way. 2/2 .807
McClean 2nd at bat, line drive to Brooks that was eventually caught. 0/2 .763

Clearly, Jamie needed a change of fortune. Everyone wanted to see both guys do well and fight it out and it just seemed like Jamie wasn't getting the breaks. As luck would have it, Jamie had his 3rd ups before Doyle and got an (assisted) single to right making him 1/3 and moving him back up to .767, maybe it was the break he needed. That set the stage for what may have been the play of the game. Doyle hit a rope to dead centre that spit the outfielders. It was 3 bases FOR SURE. That was until the blur came out of nowhere refusing to allow Doyle another hit. BLUR = McCLEAN. 2/3 and back to .797

Doyle's 4th at bat, another hit on what would be an error to 3rd, 3/4 .800
McClean's 4th, single to right under Moon's glove. 2/4 .770

Doyle's 5th, Double to left, 4/5 .802
McClean's 5th, apparently Doyle didn't much appreciate The Blur's catch in center, because Marky picked a slow roller from McCleans bat and gunned him by a 1/2 step. 2/5, .760


NOTES

• The game final was 27-18, but until the last inning actually played much closer.
• Kevin Moon and those ROPES to right field. Trevor could have just put his back to the fence and hoped for the best. Its more like playing goal when that guy hits.
  
• You know how you can tell its a playoff atmosphere? When Tito starts singing soccer (sorry, football) songs from the stands. But Tito, leave the lyric changing to the professionals!
• I was joking around about the Whitney Houston thing with Brooks. At least it WAS a joke until I heard the BodyGuard sound track coming from his backyard. Oh well, it beats the Rankin family.
  
• Jamie McClean was probably responsible for 1/4 of the outs last night in Centre Field. Great game.
  
• There are strong rumors that WADA (World Anti Doping Agency) has been called in to "randomly" test players. One player who looked a lot like Chuck, but claimed to be named Ann Onamus, said, "yeah right, as if you could hit .800 for a whole year".

UPDATED & UNOFFICIAL STANDINGS

		GP	W	L	T	PTS
1	THE WILD	22	13	7	2	28
2	RECYCLED	21	13	7	1	27
3	RED DOGS	21	13	8	0	26
4	DISLOCATED JOINTS	19	12	6	1	25
5	DODGE CITY ROUNDERS	21	11	9	1	23
6	TORN LIGAMENTS	21	11	9	1	23
7	GRISSLIES	21	11	10	0	22
8	DOG CATCHERS	21	8	10	3	19
9	DUSTY CLEATS	21	9	12	0	18
10	BANSHEES	22	9	13	0	18
11	HOT TUB WOODY'S	22	8	13	1	17
12	RUSTY REBELS	21	7	13	1	15
13	LUCKY STIFFS	21	6	14	1	13
		Torn Ligaments				vs	Banshees
		Recycled				vs	The Wild

August 18th, 2009

The Scene

I did have a topic as a "scene setter" that was dealing with another group of unsung heroes in our league. Its a topic that is worth acknowledging and one that requires a little more thoughtful time and consideration on my part to give it service. So I'm going to wait on that one.

Instead, I'm going to use this issue of the BLOG to clean up a few loose ends and comment on some things that I personally find quite funny.

1. First, this BLOG seems to be gaining some readership. I think that's a good thing. However the pressure to be clever (as I only really know 3 big words) is getting a little overwhelming. So I've been hitting the thesaurus pretty hard this week in an effort to expand my vocabulary and sound a little more learned.

2. Some of yous readers 'ave told me that my Grammar ain't so good. Those readers would be correct. However, they didn't phrase it in the form of question so it won't win them Jack on Jeopardy!

3. I'd say that about half the people who read and comment on this diatribe {that was a thesaurus word} have said that I gave Tito way too much credit for last week's strikeout. I'll tell those people exactly what I told Tito. Leave me the hell alone! No, just kidding, what I told Tito was quite simple, "you win, I lose". I don't understand how that's too much credit. Babe Ruth called a shot hitting a home run in Wrigley Field in the 1932 World Series. Joe Namath guaranteed a Superbowl win 1969, Mark Messier called a game 7 win in the Stanley Cup finals in 1994. Tito called his shot, he gets his just deserts. Are you saying that comparing Tito to Ruth, Namath and Messier is 'over the top'? Then all I can say is that you don't know Tito.

4. The other half of the people who comment on this dissertation {clearly a thesaurus word} said that I didn't give Tito enough credit for last weeks strike out! And it wasn't ONLY Tito that thought that. For the love of the sweet baby Jesus! I guess Rickey Nelson had it right in the song Garden Party, "But its alright now, I learned my lesson well, Ya see you can't please everyone, So you gotta please yourself". How could I possibly be accused of being on BOTH sides of this issue! I will say this for people who thought he deserved more credit. Yes he called his shot. Yes he struck me out. BUT, he used a trick pitch doing it!!! Now I want to be careful here in saying that it was "trick" pitch and NOT an "illegal" pitch. Unknown to many, and truthfully, I was going to keep this to myself, one of the gathered assemblage {yep, thesaurus} at the game had a video camera and provided me with footage of the pitch that struck me out. The untrained eye won't see the trick right away, but the slow motion replay gives it away.

Click Here ====> ACTUAL FOOTAGE

The shame. Anyway, we've all had fun, sleepless nights, laughs, anxiety attacks, merrymaking {thesaurus} and suicide watches over this little story, so I think its time for it to quietly disappear into the hot august night. For the love of God let it die! I think I heard Tito retelling it in Curtis' backyard while I was sobbing at my house Saturday. The horror!

5. I've been approached by a number of people saying that they think the lyrics that I make up are pretty funny for Rob's speeches. If you were on the Grisslies, you'd know that these really ARE Rob's speeches. On game days Rob tries really hard to sneak out of work a few minutes early so that he can get home in time to do yoga and get into the perfect blended state of contemplation {thesaurus} married with concentration {I actually knew that one}. When Rob hits that plane of consciousness, writing song lyrics is as second nature to him as his gift of interpretive dance. We don't ask why he has these pregame vision quests, we just count ourselves among the fortunate who get to witness the result.

6. One of the really cool things about this BLOG is that people can leave anonymous comments on it. Some People seem to think that I can tell who left the comment, I guess because I own the BLOG. I can't. Unless you tell me, I have no idea. Other people seem to think that I know a guy named anonymous. I don't. If I had to guess, I'd say he sounds Greek.

7. I love the comments. Please keep them coming, it makes it worth the effort. Last week there was one that said, "if you are going to mention Rob Farah's 4 for 4 at bat be more accurate by telling all how he got the 4 for 4." a) I'm not here to defend my captain. b) I'd love to go 4/4 and have them all be cheap just to be 4/4. It was a week ago, so you'll have to go with my fading memory on this. I remember that everything Rob swung at was shoulder high or higher. I remember that at least two balls didn't leave the infield. I remember that one of those two that stayed on the infield went about as far as his grand daughter can throw. Well, maybe not quite that far. Its the Tottenham Oldtimers League. If you're on it counts. Is there anyone in this league who doesn't have a cheap hit? Besides me I mean?

8. The batting race!!! Wow, I'm loving watching these stats come out! Mark Doyle is Leading at .794, Hugh Armstrong with a HUGE (that was not a pun Hugh/Huge) week is now second at .787, Jamie McClean is on his heals at .785 and not too far back is Rob McCarron at .779. After that there is a 25 point drop off, so at least for now, we have a four horse race. Armstrong is clearly in the middle of a wicked hot streak and with only a handful of games left, that's got to give him a BIT of an edge. Or does it? McClean like Doyle and McCarron have been right there and consistent all year. McCarron has the advantage of having the most hits in the league and the most at bats. So on a percentage basis McCarron is least hurt by not getting a hit. I might be talking out of school here, so if you want to call me out that's fine, but I think that McClean and Armstrong are at a slight disadvantage because a little birdy told me that they witnessed Doyle and McCarron receiving some private tutoring last week from from a well known hitting Guru. We'll see how this weeks stats look and I'll think about revealing my source and a picture of the Guru.

9. Every team goes through injuries and vacations and we've seem to had all of ours at once. Missing four regulars (I guess everyone is a regular now that I think about it), Steve "buy a vowel" Wynnyk, Clifford "the fury" Stacey, Dave "cabernet sauvignon" McGovern and "Diamond" Jim Rouleau for the passed several weeks has hit us pretty hard. Despite the addition of some excellent subs (Lynn Foerster, David Polny and Don Booth) we just couldn't seem to find our rhythm.

10. My appeal to everyone reading.... If you hear something funny, interesting or compelling {definitely the thesaurus} or if you have a topic that you think could be explored in a humorous way, either post a comment on the BLOG or let me know at douglasdwyer@rogers.com

The Speech

Ah - yes, the moment that you've been waiting for. According to Rob, this weeks speech came to him somewhere between doing the Lotus Pose and doing an interpretive version of the "wax on - wax off" pose from karate kid. Personally, I kind of used to dig the Crane that Mr. Miyagi taught Daniel San, especially when Elizabeth Shue came out to congratulate him after the fight....but I digress. As Rob likes to say, "I can hold the Lotus pose for days at a time, that's why I'm the captain". He also likes to talk about how he invented tin foil, so you have to decipher the philosophy from the hyperbole {that was a thesaurus TRIPLE PLAY - YES!!!}

If you claim to have not practised The Crane, you are probably lying.

As is customary, Rob gathered the team and we genuflexted in a circle around him and so it began:

Music provided by our sponsor Dairy Queen ====> MUSIC
(Yeah, I made up the Dairy
Queen Part)

These Grisslies Will Grab Ya to the tune of:
Sweet Home Alabama

Big McCarron keeps on swinging,
Hitting me home to see my kin,
Singing songs about the Grisslies,
I'm digging the practice games once again,
And I don't think its a sin, yeah.

Well I heard mister Ross sing about us,
Well, I heard ole Chris put us down,
Well, I hope Chris Ross will remember,
Those Grisslies will manage to rebound, somehow.

These Grisslies will grab ya,
Because they never sing the blues,
These Grisslies will grab ya,
They're drivin' in a run for you.

Now Keogh Park is where the heart is,
Its been known to host a game or two,
Lord that diamond gets played so much,
Does the humidity bother you?
Tell the truth.

Now the Grisslies got their Cliff back,
Not to mention Steve and McGovern too,
We're getting close to having Rouleau,
Lots of runs to score, huh, Sue?
We're on a roll, that's what we do.

These Grisslies will grab ya,
Because they never sing the blues,
These Grisslies will grab ya,
They're drivin' in a run for you.

The Game

People often mistake close games for good games. Make no mistake, this was a close game.

When you look at the final score of 19-18, you'll probably get the mental vision of two heavy weight boxers slugging it out. Truthfully, it was more like two feather weight boxers slapping each other.

I had to opportunity to watch the last couple of innings of the Joints win over the Wild before our game last night. Now THAT was two heavy weights.

Well, the Grisslies welcomed back Dave, Cliff and Steve and made a point of showing them how badly they were missed by completely butchering the 1st inning. We have seen some bad innings occassionally this year, but this one was particularly brutal. I was playing 1st base and was beside the Cleats bench. When they scored their 4th run of the first inning, I heard someone from their bench say, "wow, this is like two weeks worth of runs!". (I swear to god that isn't made up). They tacked on another weeks worth and plated in six in total after the top of the first.

Those Grisslies are no strangers to playing 'catch-up' baseball. One only needs to be reminded of the championship game in the Help The Kids tournament. In that game the Grisslies were down 10-0 after two complete innings and despite having Danny Chaisson subbing and taking up a valuable spot in the batting order we came all the way back to win. So with that resolve of getting back in the game the Grisslies hit the batters box in the bottom of the first. Farah flied out. Wynnyk made an out after a wild swing and miss on what looked to be a slider inside (hard to tell at that speed). After back to back singles, the Grisslies finally scored a run on a clean base hit by McCarron.

Down 6-1 after one wasn't where we wanted to be, but we got on a bit of roll from there outscoring the cleats 18-12 over the final 5 1/2 innings. McCarron owned the 7th inning defensively as the Cleats clearly had a game plan of hitting it to the weakest fielder. Rob rose to the occassion though and got us through that critical inning.

Jeff Shultze hit an absolute BOMB out to left field. There are big home runs but this one was simply crushed. I'm pretty sure it was still on the way up when it cleared the fence. I'm not 100% sure whether Jeff will be out of pocket for replacing the windshield on the fire truck or if insurance will cover it. Nice job Jeff!

Also Neil Pendlebury made an excellent defensive play on McCarron's best hit ball of the night taking away a base hit. A good defensive play really stands out when teams combine to score 37 runs. On the Grisslie side of the ledger, Billy Clouthier flashed his normal leather and gunned a couple to 1st for outs on bang - bang plays. After 20 games, I now realize that every play with Billy is bang - bang. He hurries and gets you by a step, he plays normal and gets you by a step or with a particularly slow runner he takes his time and gets them by a step. I think Billy wants everyone to enjoy all aspects of the game so he makes sure that everyone runs hard to 1st base all the time.

Offensively, all the Grisslies returnees had at least 3 hits and Ingo was right back to form with another 4 hit performance. So, twenty games in and a 10-10 record and 8-2 over our last ten games. There is a very tough game coming up on Wednesday agains the 2nd place Red Dogs.

A win Wednesday keeps us in the running for a top 5 finish.

Out

August 12th, 2009

Stop me if you've heard this one.

The Grizzlies with their 7 game winning streak on the line playing the 1st place team in the league, the Recycled. Looking at the numbers going in, it wasn't all that pretty. At 12-5-1, Recycled have been nothing short of the picture of consistency. McClean & Dickson are both solidly in the top 10 in league hitting. If that's not enough to scare you, the team leads the league in hitting at .626! They have a lead in batting over the second place team by ten percentage points! To put that in perspective, if Recycled were to go hitless in their next game 0/21, they would still be in the top half of the league in hitting.

Additionally, Recycled are leading the league in runs scored at 258 or 14.3 per game. They have given up a very stingy 193 runs which is second best in the lead and at an average of 10.7 per game. Their plus / minus is +65 with is more that 20 better than the second place Wild's number.

The Grisslies on the other hand score and average 12.4 runs a game and give up 13.5. In fairness, it should be noted that the Grisslies have brought their plus / minus from a league worst -48, eight games ago to much more respectable -19.

Here is what Billy Clouthier, all star 3rd baseman for the Grisslies, had to say before the game. "This team is full of quiet optimism. We want to win every game but understand our streak can't last forever. We will lose eventually, but when we do we'll play hard and try our best. As long as we don't miss any key players, we'll be fine. I mean, its not like we have to win without Cliff Stacey, Dave McGovern, Steve Wynnyk or Diamond Jim Rouleau. As long as we have those guys we'll be just fine".

Billy Clouthier the day after winning the Ed Asner look alike contest.

There was a little bit of controversy on the Grisslies bench before the game. Apparently, Ingo and John were having a discussion about their fantasy baseball teams when Ingo said, "I've got Jesus Flores in my fantasy league and he's killing our team!" Flores of course is the often injured catcher with the Washington Nationals. Unfortunately, Rob Farah overheard this conversation and thought Ingo said, "Jesus, Farah is in a fantasy league and he's killing our team". These things can happen. Rob quickly threw away his rehearsed pre-game speech and was seen in the bleachers with a pencil scribbling notes. Three minutes later, the team got a real treat as Farah had reworked the lyrics of Bohemian Rhapsody to get his point across.


This might get a little complicated, so I've provided a link to the music ===> CLICK HERE!


Once the music is playing, you can follow along with Rob's lyrics below. Expect to Wowed!!!

Robhemian Rhapsody


This is the real life,
Not just a fantasy,
Caught in a head-first slide,
No escape from reality,
Open your eyes
Look up to the skies and see,
I’m just a pitcher, I need no sympathy,
Because I’m easy come, easy go,
Pitch a little high, a little low,
Anyway the wind blows, that's the way my ball goes,
For me......

Mama, just struck out a man,
Went 0 and 2 to get ahead,
Nailed the third one, now he's dead,
Mama, life is tons of fun,
And now I've gone and gotten another "K",
Mama oooh,
I meant to strike out that guy,
But for sure I'll be back this time tomorrow,
For another game, because it’s the team that really matters.

Getting late, the time has come,
Sends shivers down my spine,
Doris is hitting it on a line,
Goodbye everybody, this ball's got to go,
McCarron's has got a hold of one, that's the truth,
Mama ooo- (any way the wind blows)
Wynnyk can really fly,
I sometimes wish he'd never slow down at all.

I see a little silhouetto of a man,
Billy Clouthier, Billy Clouthier, will you do the fandango-
Thunderbolt and lightning-very very frightening me,
Clifford Stacey, Clifford Stacey,
Clifford Stacey, Clifford Stacey,
Clifford Stacey, figaro-magnifico-
But I'm just a pitcher and everybody loves me,
He's just a pitcher from a pitching family,
Using his bat to show his duplicity,
Easy come easy go, will you let me throw-
Bismillah! no!, we will not let you throw; let him throw!
Bismillah! no!, we will not let you throw; let him throw!
Bismillah! no!, we will not let you throw; let him throw!
Will not let you throw; let me throw!
Will not let you throw; let me throw!
No,no,no,no,no,no,no-
Mama mia,mama mia,mama mia let me throw,
Beelzebub has put a devil in the arm of me, of me, of me!!!

So you think you can pull me and spit in my eye?,
So you think you can pull me and mess with this guy?,
Oh baby, can't do this to me baby-
I'm gonna pitch, pitch 'till its time to drink beer!

It’s the team that really matters,
Anyone can see,
It’s the team that really matters, the team that really matters to me,

Any way the wind blows....

THE GAME

I think Doris described the game best, when he was quoted as saying, "yuck". The Grisslies got off to an awful start in the 1st inning giving up six runs. The next inning was a little better with two runs allowed.

Wee Willie Keeler who played for the New York Giants between 1892 and 1910 would have been proud of how the Recycled played last night. He was a .341 career major league hitter, hit over .300 in 16 of 19 years and once batted over .400. When asked by a reporter why he was so successful at the plate when others weren't, he replied, "I hit 'em where they ain't". Its a very simple philosophy to hitting, if you don't hit the ball at people, you stand a pretty good chance of getting on.

Recycled probably really STUNG two deep balls. Other than that, it was a solidly hit line drive or a perfectly placed bloop hits. They played great defensively too and they are clearly in 1st place for a reason.

The Grisslies rallied from their early game set back and briefly tied the game, but ran out of gas as the Recycled continued to deliver in every clutch opportunity.

Despite Billy's earlier comments, it did turn out that the Grisslies were missing Cliff Stacey, Dave McGovern, Steve Wynnyk or Diamond Jim Rouleau. It was a factor, but its really hard to project how the result would have been different. It should be noted that the Recycled were missing Robin Dickson who is second in the league in hitting and has the second most total hits of anyone in the league. So they were short staffed too.

The game itself was hard fought and enjoyable to play. Now the Grisslies have to do something that they haven't done June 23rd. Move on from a loss!

There is no time for pity, because they are back out on the field tonight against the Rusty Rebels! Maybe you've heard of them? Maybe you've heard of their pitcher? Maybe you've heard of a certain guarantee?

We'll see tonight whether it really was "dead man walking" or if this is the episode where Fonzie Jumps the shark!

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