Game 3 - Another One Bites The Dust

GAME 3 – Another One Bites the Dust

The Intro

Zero and two.

Who cares, it’s early.

How can you have ‘trends’ after two games? Besides, in 1993 the Dallas Cowboys started 0-2 and won the super bowl! In fact both the Chicago Blackhawks & the Philadelphia Flyers went 0-3 to start the season this year and one of them will with the Stanley cup this year (probably by August).

So who cares about 0&2? Radar, that’s who!

Back at the clubhouse after last week’s stellar effort, Radar abruptly left the table and was seen across the Legion floor frantically flipping through the pages of an old dusty book. As captain AND out of general human interest AND out of basic morbid curiosity, I figured that I should find out what was going on…..

“Radar, are you ok, what are you reading?”

“It’s a book of ancient Australian spells. I’m going through it because I saw something in here once about breaking a curse. I know I’ve seen it before, but I can’t find it!”

Flip, flip, flip,

“Dude”, says I.”There’s so much to ask. Why an Australian book of spells?”

Flip, flip, flip.

Without looking up from his search, Radar says, “Because I’m Australian. Actually, to be honest, I only that found out recently. When I was a kid my mom told me that we were Australian, but I somehow got that mixed up with ‘Austrian’ and I spent most of grade school talking like Arnold Schwarzenegger”

Flip, flip, flip.

“Radar,” I stammer, “We’re 0-2, we’re not exactly at the curse stage. It’s a long season and EVERYONE makes the playoffs”.

“No man, you don’t understand!” Radar actually glanced up for a moment and I think I saw tears in his eyes, “my dad played in this league for years! He never had 3 consecutive losses. If we lose our next game, I’ll have to buy the Thanksgiving Kangaroo this year and those things are expensive. Do you even know the import costs on a Kangaroo? Plus they’re nearly impossible to fit in an oven”.

“Wow, your family is really embracing the Australian heritage!”

Radar bolted up and yelled, “FOUND IT”!!! “Where can I find a virgin koala and sap from a Bunya Pine tree?”

*** As a follow up, Radar ‘apparently’ preformed his ritual sacrifice shortly thereafter, substituting a stuffed koala bear (time constraints) and using Aunt Jemima pancake syrup instead of the Bunya Pine tree sap. Time will tell if it worked!!! ***

The Pre-Game

So….the team had a few side bets going on the theme song this week. There were two camps. Many of us thought that Robbie-Rob would go back to his gangsta-rap roots and bust out a little ICE-T or NWA. The other camp thought he’d continue with the success of last week’s Gilligan’s Island song and try another TV theme.

This is why you should NEVER camp….Rob will catch you off guard! (click the title below for the music.

The Joints Are Gonna Bite The Dust

Cal walks warily down the street with the brim pulled way down low

Ain't no sound but the sound of his cleats, his big bat’s ready to go

Are you ready? Hey, are you ready for this? The fans are hanging on the edge of their seats!

Out of the box the line drives rip to the sound of the beat,

Yeah

The Joints are gonna bite the dust

The Joints are gonna bite the dust

And another one gone

And another one gone

The Joints are gonna bite the dust

Hey, The Gris are gonna get you too

Another one bites the dust

How do you think we’re gonna get along with Argue now at third?
Diving to his left and throwing to first, the corner is now anchored.

Radar’s happy. Ingo’s satisfied. Tim, “Don’t call me Donny” is quick on his feet.

Out of the outfield the rocket throws whistle to the sound of the beat

(Look out)

The Joints are gonna bite the dust

The Joints are gonna bite the dust

And another one gone

And another one gone

The Joints are gonna bite the dust

Hey, The Gris are gonna get you too

Another one bites the dust

There are plenty of ways you can hurt a team and bring them to the ground

You can beat him, you can cheat him

You can treat him bad and tag them when their falling

But we’re ready, yes we’re ready for you

The Grisslies have no need to cheat
Out on the base paths Greg is burning, flying to the sound of the beat.

Oh yeeeah

The Joints are gonna bite the dust

The Joints are gonna bite the dust

And another one gone

And another one gone

The Joints are gonna bite the dust

Hey, The Gris are gonna get you too

Another one bites the dust

The Game

The Joints did not bite the dust.

I burned my glove.

The stuffed koala bear and Aunt Jemima syrup were poor substitutes.

I burned my cleats.

If anyone knows how to import a kangaroo, give Radar a call.

I almost burned my hat, but it’s too pretty.

It’s getting a tad lame, but we had moments in this game. We strung a few hits together, scored a few runs, had some good defensive plays, and had some good base running.

On the flip side, we had two 3 up 3 down innings, dropped some easy ones, lost track of outs on the bases. Oh, and did I mention that trying to get an out by touching the orange bag rarely works?

Here is the good news: This team is fun to be around. Except from one rant from Piero (Mr. “I won the championship last year”), everyone seems content that we’re still in the shaking off the rust phase. We got Dave in to pitch an inning last night, which eased the strain on Rob’s neck. Rob is getting therapy on his neck as it keeps snapping back to watch balls fly by.

Radar & Tim “don’t call me Donny” Osmond continue to play well at multiple positions. Ingo did well moving between the infield and outfield, Cal & Danny have been steady Eddies and Greg has the speed of young Billy Cloutier. We have a number of good players and it’s a matter of time before we all have a decent game on the same night.

The other thing too is that we’ve played 3 great teams that are filled with T.O.T superstars.

Next week is the Red Dogs and the Dusty Cleats. Two perennial powers in the league, these will be good tests to see if our squad is really coming together.

I just have to get a glove & shoes.

GAME 2 – Grisslie Island

The Intro

The Grisslies are in the fortunate position this year of carrying two rookies. More accurately perhaps, two rookies are in the unfortunate position of carrying the Grisslies!!!

We may as well get the rookie initiation stuff out of the way now. (We’re not allowed to call it “hazing” anymore; not since the incident with Dave Argue, the goat and the peanut butter sandwich back in ’98, but I digress).

Rookie week this year will be week 6. That week we’ll be playing Dodge City and the Dog Catchers. Of course, during rookie week, all rookies are required to wear a skirt to the game & lip stick. It’s ideal if you make the lipstick something ‘tarty’. Piero probably still has his Jarvis Street Red lipstick from last year that you guys can borrow. And if anyone needs a skirt, call Danny.

Week 6 is when rookies really turn the corner and are fully integrated into the team. I’ll tell you, it made a huge difference for me. Oh, by the way, it’s okay to wear shorts or track pants under the skirt (wish someone was there to give me that tip last year).

A couple of other rookie notes:

1. It’s customary for the rookies to buy beer after the teams first win (no danger of that yet)
2. A team’s 5th win of the year is commonly referred to as rookie pizza night.
3. A team’s 10th win of the year is known as rookie karaoke night at the legion. (microphone behind the bar)
4. Once the team gets its 13th win and guarantees a .500 record for the season, it’s generally expected that the rookies will pick up the other players and drive them to the games. I would hate to see us loose this tradition.

Welcome aboard Tim & Greg. We’ll look forward to seeing your creativity in week six. Hopefully I’ll have figured out how to include pictures by then!!!

The Pre-Game

Rob is kind of funny. After last week’s atrocious performance, a lot of us thought he’d read us the riot act before the game. But Robbie is full of surprises. Instead of taking the ‘angry’ route, Rob tried to lighten the mode. Click the title below if you need to hear the tune.

Grisslie Island Theme

Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale,

A tale of a fateful trip,

That started at the draft day board,

The thought still makes me sick.

The first pick was good glove man,

His arm is straight and true.

Next up was a great outfielder,

Though his throws go askew, his throws go askew.

Then the draft really picked up,

The Grisslie team might get sauced,

If not for the Jugs of some legion brew

The Grisslies could be lost, the Grisslies could be lost.

The team set off to play their questionable style

With Del Greco,

And Ingo & Cal too,

The Captain and his wife,

You know Brett’s a star,

The rookies and Simon Smith,

Here on Grisslie Isle.

So this is the tale of the Grisslies,

They're here for a long, long time,

They're sure to make the best of things,

But it's an uphill climb.

The first mate and the Skipper too,

Will do their very best,

To bring the others all together,

For the Grisslie name on their crest.

No bats, no gloves, no score book cards,

Not a single luxury,

Like Radar’s sense of humour,

As primitive as can be.

So join us here each week my friends,

you’re sure to get a smile,

from twelve crazy baseball players,

Here on "Grisslie Isle."

The Game

Last weeks, The Game section opened with this line, “The Hot Tub Woody’s HAVE to be favoured to win the league this year.”.

With all due respect to the Hot Tub Woody’s, I made that assertion prior to seeing the Brew Jays play! These guys are CRAZY good.

Francis Walsh’s winter in the gym has really paid off. His arm is like a cannon now! He threw out 11 of our base runners on his own. Some guys get it all. Dazzling good looks & the good fortune to have the baseball goods reach down and bless their arm and turn it into gold! Bill stuck out 10. He’s developed a nasty breaking ball to go along with that devastating slider. I see a Cy Young in his future. And then there is Wayne “boom boom” Caldwell. I’m pretty sure he was 22/22 last night with 74 total bases. There should be rules about him getting to hit 4th, 8th and 12th in their lineup. If you go up to Coventry tonight the outfield fence is will still probably be vibrating from the number of times he hit it.

On the Grisslie side of the ledger, there were definitely highlights. Rob Farah has been nothing short of the perfect model of consistency. After giving up 26 runs (all earned) in the 1st game of the year, he used the two week layoff to his full advantage. Last night he came back with performance of 26 runs against. After two games the ERA is 26.00. Last year the Grisslies had given up 63 runs after two games, so comparatively – WE’RE ON FIRE BABY!!!

Kidding aside, if you took the 1st three inning of our first game and the last three innings of our second game we played pretty sound and winning baseball. Those other 8 innings in a row are a bit of a problem, but we’ve had nice stretches that give us reason to think the slump will be busted! I wouldn’t want to be in the Dislocated Joints shoes as they prepare to play us next week!

Some bright signs were having Brett at short & Dave at third which really solidified the left side of the infield. Tim “don’t call me Donny” Osmond played really well at second base and we’re deep in center field with Danny, Radar and Cal all performing capably. Radar has been “Mr. Versatility” so far playing the outfield, 2nd, 3rd and 1st base. If there were a 4th & 5th base we’d probably try him there too. We’re getting there. Look out Dislocated Joints, look out!!!

GAME 1 – Shock and Awe

The Intro

No one and I mean NO ONE saw this coming.

On a day that should have been all about sunshine and fly balls came this shocking news: Veteran and formally loyal fan, Michelle Farah, has declared free agency; casting doubt that she would be available to cheer for the Grisslies for the 2010 season.

"I arrived at this decision after a lot of careful thought, and prayer," Michelle said as she glanced up from crocheting. "Nothing could please me more than rooting for the Grisslies through to the end of my career as a fan. The players have been great, and management has always made me feel right at home here. The thought of packing up and leaving them tears me apart."

She thoughtfully sipped her decaf coffee while her mother wept. "But I have to keep in mind that baseball isn't just a 'game' anymore. Sure, I could settle for less and stay here, out of sentiment. Being a lifelong Grisslies fan was something me and my family always aimed for. But where's the reward? Without some kind of quid pro quo, could I continue to be as good a fan? My competitive nature tells me I should test the market, just to find out my true worth."

Players were stunned before last night's game. Ingo thought it was a practical joke at first and claimed that he re-signed with the Grisslies this year "because" of super fan Michelle Farah. Many players will visibly upset and understandable so. Danny Chiasson bit his lip when questioned. All he could say was, "what am I supposed to my kids, bye? What am I supposed to tell my kids!"

Insiders speculate that Michelle Farah is trying to stick it to the Grisslies for having rewarded other fans more than her during the season. "I saw where they picked some kid for bat boy. Did I get to be bat-person? Do I miss games? I've got season-freakin-tickets for God sakes!" "The thing about me was, when the bell rang, I was always there for the Grisslies, weekends, weeknights, rain and freezing cold. The way I see it, if they have the kind of money to bring in a second rookie for a tryout, then they can afford a set of those tall plastic cups with the Grisslies logo on one side and the CIBC logo on the other side. I entertain a lot, those cups would be like free advertising!"

Starting catcher Piero Del Greco was asked how he felt about Michelle Farah's possible departure, and responded by pelting this reporter with wrapped up sandwiches and deviled eggs that he was saving for a middle inning snack. "Everyone thinks they can play practical jokes on me," he exclaimed. "Here, do you want another sandwich?"

Team officials would not openly admit it, but there is the feeling that Michelle Farah may have missed a step in last season. During a game against the Dusty Cleats on August 18^th of last year, Michelle could be heard from the stands encouraging runners to go through the stop sign at 3^rd and run for home plate. The end result was two runners being thrown out at the plate. The Grisslies still won 19-18 but it may have set the wheels in motion. Then there was the missed game earlier in the year due to a "sore arm". One team source who asked not to be named said, "She's not a malingerer, but clearly she'd rather not cheer in pain. The other fans pick up on that."

Michelle's agent claims that 3 other teams in the T.O.T league have asked to discuss the possibility of a long term deal.

The Pre-Game

As has become customary, 'coach Rob' gathered the troops for his little pep talk before the 1^st pitch was thrown. "Guys, we've all been dealt a bit of blow before we even got started this year, so I think I'm best to quote the musical legend Miley Cyrus for a little inspiration.

(click title below for music)

PARTY IN THE USA

He hopped off the train in Tottenham

with a dream and his glove again

welcome to the team that likes to flex, (woah)

Is he gonna fit in?

Jumped in the cab,

Here he is yet another time

Look to the right and he see the Coventry Park sign

This is all so crazy

The Grisslies seems so famous

Danny's tummys turnin and he's feelin kinda home sick

Might be after affects of the CRIC and he's nervous,

That's when the taxi man turned on the radio

and a Bluegrass song was on

and the Bluegrass song was on

and the Bluegrass song was on

CHORUS:

So he put his hands up

They're playing his song,

And the home runs fly away

Hittin' line drives like yeah

Getting' base hits like yeah,

And he's got my hands up,

They're playin his song

He know he's gonna play ok

Yeah, It's a party in Coventry

Yeah, It's a party in the Coventry

Get his club from the bat rack

Everybody's lookin at him now

Like "whos that dude, thats rockin' hits?

He's gotta be from out of town"

So hard with my swing gonna pound it

Cal is never going to ground it

Danny's still in his stilletos

I guess he never got the memo

Ingo's tummys turnin and he's feelin kinda home sick

Too much pressure and he's nervous

That's when the D.J. dropped his favorite tune

and a Bieber song was on

and the Bieber song was on

and the Bieber song was on

CHORUS:

Now he's got his hands up

They're playing his song,

And the home runs fly away

Hittin' line drives like yeah

Getting' base hits like yeah,

And he's got my hands up,

They're playin his song

I know he's gonna play ok

Yeah, It's a party in Coventry

Yeah, It's a party in the Coventry

The Game

The Hot Tub Woody's HAVE to be favoured to win the league this year.

They trotted out 3 pitchers with varying degrees of success and scored 26 runs. Ouch.

The Grisslies were in the game early, batting around in the 1^st inning. The highlight of that inning was Piero's (3/4) 2 run triple. Truthfully, the Grisslies hit well enough to win the game, but the suffered from the Michael Jackson syndrome on defense. That of course is the propensity to wear a glove on one hand for no apparent reason. There were a few people playing out of position, but there is HUGE hole at 2^nd base that needs to be addressed.

Management is looking into some trades.