Monday, December 17, 2012

The Christmas Edition

Oh, why not?

Its that time of year, glad tidings, full bellies and good wishes for the season and the year that lies ahead right around the corner.  So lets look at a few Christmas wishes that the BLOG has for both some of its more faithful readers; and less faithful readers but guys we like to make fun of.  Oops...not make fun of...more have fun WITH!

I should probably let you know that while there is the odd sincere item in here they are pretty much meant to be a tiny little bit funny.  Not roll on the floor funny, just kind of smirkish funny.  So, keep your humour about you and enjoy.   

Lets start with a wish for general good health after one of the most injury plagued seasons in recent memory.  We don't need to recount all the injuries in their gruesome and painful detail, but we'll hope for a marked improvement in the band aid dispenser category for all. 

I started out thinking I would to a little christmas wish for everyone in the league.  I made it to 92 before exhaustion and lack of creativity kicked.  Apologies to those I ever made it to.

Now.  Some specifics. 

Al Bales  - I got to know Al a little bit this year.  I thought previously that no one could touch Jens Lepa and Scott Peters for the nice guy award, but Al is stiff competition.  And he's better looking too.  But my wish for Al is that he toughen up a bit.  Maybe hit the Sambuca bottle a little ...you know, just get into it and stop being so damned reserved all the time!

Paul Koolhaas -  Dude.  Get a grip.  Smile once in a while.  Its only a friggin' game!  You're way too serious, lighten up!!!

Frank Laird - The honorable Mr. Laird cracks me up. Frank is good during the baseball season to make be laugh out loud at least once a week with some smart assed email that he sends to either Rob or me. And I don't mean one of those forwarded jokes, I mean real genuine original stuff. My wish for Frank is that the Legion does an amateur comedy night and Frank is the head liner. I personally think it would be hysterical, but be warned; he works a little blue.

Brad Smith - Brad, like everyone else in the league, could beat the crap out of me so this one is a little risky. Oh, except for maybe Robbie Rubmoldt. Don't get me wrong, Rob COULD beat the crap out of me I suppose, he just lacks the motivation. Back to Brad, my wish is that he gets back in touch with his southern rockabilly roots. You don't have to be around Brad too long to pick up the drawl and absence of inflection in his voice. I'm thinking he's from southern Georgia....maybe Valdosta?

Matt Foerster - I've already stated that my Playoff MVP from 2012 was Matt Foerster.  Not that others didn't do swell, but he was off the charts with the bat.  How good?  We'll he's already being talked about as being one of the best two Foersters in the league next year.  My wish for Matt is an MiP award, I see a HUGE year on the horizon!  (also, I may need some protection from Brad, see above)

Lou Conforti - My wish for Lou is for Crest Whitening strips.  Oh, there is nothing wrong with Lou's teeth, but he's been smiling steadily now since September 16th and its eventually going to take a toll! 

Dave Fleming - Dave, we're trying to honour your wish of being a Grisslie next year, but honestly we've had 162 requests (yes 12 captains have asked too) so far and its going to be tough to accommodate everyone.  However, my wish for you is that never have to play right field at C1 again.  At least there is a road to slow you down in left field!

Bill Brown - Well Downtown?  My wish for you is that you keep being bent.  I don't know how many people beyond Terry and Rob know that you quite as demented as you are!  Keep entertaining the troops and providing those little historical tid-bits of information that make me go hmmmm. 

Jamie McClean - What to wish for the guy who's got it all?  Lets hope for a tiny little bit of controversy next year so that he FINALLY has something to do!  That gig has got to be boring!

Rob Hayward  - Maybe a little enthusiasm? 

Doris Casullo - Despite all the jokes about Doris breaking up the league and always being injured, I wish that he'd stop trying to break up the league and getting injured.

Piero Del Greco - My wish for Piero....could you knock off the accent????  YOU WERE BORN IN REXDALE for Christmas sakes!!!

Dennis Short - Well, I'm not the first to say it and I damned sure won't be the last, but my wish for Dennis is that the Universal Translator that they used on Star Trek (The Original Series - TOS for the uninitiated) is finally invented and put to its intended use of understanding Newf.


Paul Gyori - I wish that you end up back James Taylor's team so that no one will make fun of your height anymore....its just not nice. 

Al Nicholl - Most won't recognize the name, but that is "Bones".  Or for you Puckheads, "Bonsie".  My wish for Bones is that he gets a friggin' cheeseburger in him.  I'm not saying he's overly thin but when Ethiopian musicians are recording a benefit album to raise money to feed him....you know there might be an issue.

James Taylor - I wish that you end up getting Paul Gyori back on your team so that no one will make fun of your height anymore....its just not nice. 

Keith Beechey - My wish for Keith is that people finally realize that his smug arrogance is just a compensation tactic so that you don't notice that he actually can't hit.  And I mean, can't hit AT ALL.  See you never noticed, did you?  That's why people build compensation tactics.

Paul Doyle - Oh yes Paul Doyle, I have a wish for you too!  A bit of string bean like Bones, but this isn't about food.  No, my wish for Paul is that he gets on the Grisslies next year and gets to experience what crazy looks like, up close and personal.  I think you'll have fun. 

Craig Escott - The Trek Yoshitomo Nara Speed Concept bike - estimated value, $200,000.00   He'd never lose that thing!


Don Swabuck - I wish for Donnie that he finally gets to play with someone funny.  The unbearable pressure this guy must feel to carry the humour for an entire team....its too much to ask any one man.  Even for someone who's worldwide reach exceeds Tiger Woods.

Roger Burton - A batting title.  Yeah....I probably shouldn't openly cheer for this...but what the hell.  And why does Roger deserve one anyway?  He already has one doesn't he?  Well truth is that Roger is the only person in the modern era (post-BLOG-era) for whom a big deal wasn't made about winning.  I have residual guilt.  So this is probably more for me than you, but congrats in advance and I'll be tracking your results game by ever loving game!

Chuck Cragg - Chuck is great guy.  My only wish for him is that gets the hell away from Stike for a year.  Everyone thought that was going to be an awesome double play combination last year didn't they?  Well its tough to play with an anchor around your neck, ain't it Chuck?

Mark Doyle - Yep...here it is.  Two Doyle's on the Grisslies next year.  Center field is going to be set for the next 5 or 6 years with the Doyle's.  And both of them like to think they're power hitters so we can pretend to be an offensive threat!

Tim Schrank - My wish for Tim is that the whole Bermuda Shorts thing catches on and spreads like wildfire!  Ideally, if her were patent baseball Bermuda Shorts before the season starts he would stand to make a killing.  I only need 10% for my contribution. 

Scott Peters - Well Scott, I think we've ridden the "Anger Management" pony to death and you've done really well to overcome that one (quite noticeable) flaw.  My wish for you is that you get on a team with Steve DeLand, Steve Greinke, Steve Brooks, Steve Black, Steve Ross, Steve Lahey, Steve Hunt, Steve Wynnyk, and 3 rookies named Steve so that you can get all the names of your team mates right next year.


Steve Black -  Stike is great guy.  My only wish for him is that gets the hell away from Chuck for a year.  Everyone thought that was going to be an awesome double play combination last year didn't they?  Well its tough to play with an anchor around your neck, ain't it Stike?

Danny Chiasson - My wish for Danny is that he finally speaks his mind.  Enough taking the safe route through life Danny Boy.  Its time to just stand up and be counted. 

Paul Piellusch - And for Paul, this is easy.  I wish for Paul that he gets his very own FaceBook account and his own personal email address.  Actually, Lisa asked me to put this in, its really her wish. 

Clifford Joseph - After years of being miss cast as an outfielder Mr. Joseph finally got an opportunity to play the infield toward the end of last season for the Cleats.  Their infield defense didn't get any better but the outfield sure did!  Way to take one for the team Cliff!   My hope is that you continue to develop as a quality infielder, maybe start behind the plate and see how it goes?

Bill Clouthier - For Billy I hope that he finds another raw rookie that he take under his wing and develop into a good infielder by passing on his baseball knowledge and knowledge of the league.  Maybe Cliff Joseph would be a good candidate?

Al Fry - I just wish that Al and I could straighten out the whole nickname thing.  I had that BLOG with Al being called "Idaho" because of the Fry=French Fries=potatoes=Idaho potato bit.  It was meant to be comedy but I saw him at the Legion and he gets right in my face and pokes me in the chest and says, "IDAHO?".  I go, "yeah Al its just a joke".  He pokes me again and gets louder, "IDAHO?", he says again.  "Al, honestly, I was just playing around, relax".   Finally he looks at me and says, "IDAHO?  I don't think so mister, YOU DA HO!!!".  I should have gone with the nickname of "PEI". 

Tom Enright - My wish for you is that you get away from the Dodge City Rounders next year.  No offense to Ed and Al, but they held you back last year Tom.  Its just my opinion but you have to let a thoroughbred run for god sakes!
Jon Hardy - Jon had a terrific rookie campaign (probably because he wasn't held back by being on Dodge City); my wish for Jon is that he doubles his fun in season number two in the league.  It won't be easy, you had the perfect storm last year!

Derryl Gaudet - My wish for Derryl "Popeye" Gaudet is a little outside the norm.  I wish that he would organize a cage match, fight to the finish with Jerry Muirhead to gain control and ownership of the nickname "Popeye".  Should this happen, we'll get Rob Farah to referee because he knows all the particulars about wrestling and can count to three without hardly any effort.  Personally, my money is on Derryl. 

John Harrett - Another easy one.  Hoping that the ankle turns the corner over the winter and you're able to come back next season.  You'll be impressed with what's happened in the year you've been off.  I no longer try to stretch singles into doubles and get thrown out at 2nd.  Now I stretch triples into doubles and get thrown out at 2nd.  GET THAT ANKLE HEALED!

Jim MacDonald - For Jimmy Mac a triple crown....top 25 in average, top 10 in hits and top 10 in at bats.  Its not really a wish so much, he does it every bloody year!  I just though someone should notice how good a ball player this guy is. 

Jerry Muirhead - My wish for Jerry "Popeye" Muirhead is a little outside the norm.  I wish that he would organize a cage match, fight to the finish with Derryl Gaudet to gain control and ownership of the nickname "Popeye".  Should this happen, we'll get Rob Farah to referee because he knows all the particulars about wrestling and can count to three without hardly any effort.  Personally, my money is on Jerry.

John Tessier - Papa John, the big old affable teddy-bear!  I can't wish for him to improve, he finished 11th in the league in hitting for god sakes!  I guess I can only hope and pray that no one measures his glove and figures out that its 22 inches long.  NO ONE and I mean NO ONE has that kind of range at 1st base.  When John swings his arm he has a 9 foot radius.  If he steps to his right and sticks out his arm he knocks over the short stop!  Geez!.

Winston Gayle - I can only wish for Winston that there is no sophomore slump or undue pressure!  Winston had a pretty good 1st half, an exceptional 2nd half and a lights out playoff.  So whats to worry about?  Well, other than being a "Champ", Winston's claim to fame is being the only man on any team to ever knock Neil Pendlebury out of the lead-off spot!  That's kind of like saying, "take a seat Mr. Jeter, I got short stop this inning". 

Dave Argue - 3 time Grisslie, 2 time Nellie Award winner, former "Champ", and all around good guy.  While it would be really easy to wish for another season on the Grisslie roster, I won't waste the wish because it'll probably happen anyway.  Instead, I'll wish that Dave finds a hot sauce that even HE finds hot!

Tim Sullivan - I wish for Timmy that he gets a call at Christmas time from one of those good old boy NASCAR drivers that he admires so much.  It'd probably go a little something like this:  " Hi ya'll...did I tell ya 'at boy was supposed to brang me 'em 'air ca' parts, but he's slower'n a bred wagon with biscuit wheels.  I bin workin' on that dad-blam ca' all day, 'n now I'ms a tar'd and I feel 'bout like a mashed bug on a win' sheild."  Something like that anyway. 

Neil Pendlebury - Play with RAGE Neil, like the angry young man you are.  Losing your lead off spot to a rookie????  I can't believe Starsky and Gere did that to you.  What, 42 runs in 24 games isn't enough?  I hope you end up with Hugh and Don where you'll get the respect you deserve (we already have the Doyle bros. in the outfield). 

Martin Ranby - Martin had a really nice 1st season last year.  The only think left for Martin to do is admit that he's a McCartney love child and sing at the Help the Kids Play tournament.  Embrace your past Martin!

Steve Ross - Well Steve, I know we talked about you ditching Paul and me ditching Rob and forming our own team next year.  But I think you guys backing into that championship changed the plan somewhat.  So my wish is that no finds out what we were planning!  That would make next year REALLY awkward!

Jens Lepa - Congrats on the 2nd sub controller gig.  Just so you know how this will work.  Rob will get a call asking for a player.  Something like, "Hi Rob, we're missing our 2, 6, 9 and 11, can you get a couple of 7's?"  Rob will tactfully reply something like, "No".  Captain:  "okay, how about a 6 and an 8?"  Rob:  "don't think so."  Captain:  "5 and a 9?"  Rob:  "nope".  Captain:  "what then?"  Rob:  "I think you should call Jens".  So my wish for you is that you last the year as sub controller!

Bo Niederhuber - For Bo, I'll just say keep up the good fight.  I know from experience that its okay to be the lone wolf.  Look at it this way, at least you can win people over unlike some of us!

Terry Doucet - I wish Terry a happy year for 2013.  Honestly, he had a fabulous baseball season so wishing for good ball would be redundant.  Maybe a return to pitching would be in order because he was killing opponents playing the infield.  You can't get a ball by him, but at least we used to be able to hit off of him!

Paul Hargreaves - Well Pauly, I'm wishing for you to get your shot in the field in 2013.  If we score in the draft and manage to get you, you'll play every position (except center field because the Doyle's are there) until you find the one you like. 

Steve Lahey - Its not really so much a wish as it is a hope, and its TOTALLY achievable!  I hope that you spend some time with Scott Mason and learn how to hit a bit.  I mean, Scott hit over .900 in the second half!  Sure, power is nice, but really its the consistency of the hitting that the chicks really dig. 

Tim Osmond - Timmy Two Beers, my wish for you is to not turn an ankle, blow a hammy or tear an Achilles.  Also, we'd like to welcome you back for a 3rd consecutive year as one of the Grisslies primary two sponsors.  Once a Grisslie.....   Awwww, heck, we just dig ya!

Christopher De Savoy - Well Chris, rarely has a rookie been so completely embarrassed by a team.  I talk to a lot of guys and it was unanimous, they loved having you on the squad.  I hope that you get as good team to play on next year and to be honest, in this league, that's a slam dunk!

Mark Bickford - For some reason Mark, you seem to be under the radar (not THAT Radar) on the ratings.  You're a very good hitter, a very good fielder and you elevate your team.  I think that my wish for you, although you might not agree, is that you get recognized for the quality of play you bring to the field. 

Scott Mason -  Its not really so much a wish as it is a hope, and its TOTALLY achievable! I hope that you spend some time with Steve Lahey and get a bit of power. I mean, Steve hit over 11 bombs over the fence last year!  What did you have?  Zero?  Sure, average is nice, but really its the long ball that the chicks really dig.

Fraser Barratt - Fraser must have gone to the same school as Paul Koolhaas.  Honest to God, you wouldn't need nights for the field if those two guys were there because they light it up with their smiles.  My wish is simple, don't change!  You'd never know if Fraser's team was up 20 runs or down 20 runs, he's the same happy guy. 

Dave Doucette - Lets pretend for a minute that you don't get drafted back to the Grisslies.  Just for a minute.  I wish that you bring the same enthusiasm and commitment to the league to a new team that you've brought to the Grisslies for the last two year.  However, if you leave, you need to know that Kyle WILL remain a Grisslie. 


Gord Robertson - I wish you get the All Star birth that you so richly deserve. 

Kevin Boston - Oh, THAT Radar!  For you Radar I wish (and know you'll succeed) in running an awesome golf tournament that turns heads!  Good luck and if you need any help you can count on your Grisslie friends.

Ed Hopkins - Multi Nellie winner, gone deep in the play offs, All Star, contributor to the executive, founder of the Help The Kids Tournament.....etc, etc, etc.  So what's left Eddie?  Read below. 

Jeff Dancey - Multi Nellie Award winner, gone deep in the play offs, contributor to the executive for many years, Managed the August tournament for many years.....etc, etc, etc.  So what's left Jeff?  Well I have a theory on that.  I think that Jeff and Ed retired from all their "league" obligations to fill the one the one empty spot on their mantel.  A Championship.  May your wishes come true. 

Gary Basso -  I think that the BLOG may have to hire Terry Doucet.  Why, you ask?  Well....Terry was the one who one night said, "is it me or does Doris not have an uncanny resemblence to Gary Betman?"  And there you go....the Commish BLOG was born.  But the real gem was him calling Gary Basso Dean Martin!   My wish for Gary is that he finishes the comparison and shows up for game one next year with a martini glass to take with him to the outfield!

Dave Polny - The other unofficial Grisslie sponsor and official league and Help the Kids Play sponsor.  I won't sing the praises of Mr. Polny again, those of you who know, already know.  So instead I will simply wish for a Tide to sponsor his laundry!

Rod Duggan - A tip to the finals against the Hot Tub Woody's in 2013.  Probably less than ideal for another captain to be saying, but you guys have been knocking on the door offensively since you & Bo started captaining, last year looked like lightening in a bottle, except for one team that was hotter. 

Wayne Bickford - Well, this is the 1st season we didn't talk about your pending retirement over beer(s) at the championship weekend in the pavilion.  My wish is that the trend doesnt' hold true.  So far when you say you're 'done', you aren't.  This year didn't say it.  I'm worried. 

Bob Pearce - My wish is to have a friendly beer bet with Pearce and Booth for games played as a sub.  I was close until a turned ankle set me back.  A pint of your favourite from the other two to the winner?

Cal Russell - I wish I could swing like Cal.  Plus I've never seen a guy who can chat with pitcher, make a joke with ump and comment on the catchers shoes while mashing a ball off the right field fence.  My wish is Cal keeps ripping in Grisslie Championship Greys. 

Ingo Bartens - My wish for Ingofische is that he continues to work on his new weapon, the off-field single.  That was deadly last year and you kept a lot of people napping.  But don't fall in love with it.  If you do, you may never be able to pull the ball again.  Or so I've heard. 

Phil Glecoff - I just wish you'd stop looking so fierce.  Its okay to loosen up and smile once in a blue moon.  No one will hold it against you.  Besides that, what's with all the lolly-gagging.  You look like Peter's out there, the way you saunter about. 

Peter Shmagola - Now my wish here is that the Glecoff's and Peter's of the world see the effort that you put in and maybe try to emulate it.  Aside from that, I think one of my favourite memories from last year was Pistol Pete playing right field in a tune up game before the play-offs.  A ground ball gets hit out to him.  I carefully places down his smoke, effortless picks up the ball, fires a strike to the cut off man, calmly picks up his smoke, tip his hat.  Happy Christmas Pete. 

Stephane Simard - Mon noël souhait pour Stéphane ...  Il a eu la chance de jouer avec deux équipes amusants au cours des deux dernières annéesJ'espère qu'il était tout aussi bon d'un moment de l'année prochaine et une équipe tout aussi amusant d'être sur!

Rick Cudnik - Having Rick on the team last year was like having two numbers 1's!  I hope other people recognize that and may you an 11!!!

Mike Douglas - My wish for the kind man who lent me his ankle brace last fall.  I hope you never again need it!

Robin Dickson - Robin, its so good of you to raise money with the whole Movember thing.  That's cool.  My wish for you is that next "moustache" is a little less 1970's kung fu movie and more Tom Selleck. 
Steve DeLand - Stevie...My wish for you is that you teach those boys how to colour!  I didn't mind so much come up with the making a sign idea for them selling eggs.  I didn't mind coming up with a slogan....but when they said they don't know how to colour?  Wow. 

Chris Larkin - My wish is that you aren't on the same team as Cal Russell.  I think no one Else would be able to concentrate watching the great plays by two guys having random conversations with everyone.  If I could do that just once I'd be happy. 

Steve Brooks - Stevie, another tournament and thoroughly enjoyable conversations in the pavilion would be my wish.  Somewhat selfish, but what the heck. 

Rob Rumboldt - Two somewhat sincere ones in a row, by my wish is that the work schedule gets sorted out and you're able to return to ball next season. 

Andy Gee - My wish for Andrew he stays as passionate as he is about ball.  Not all ideas are great (or so I've been told - OFTEN), but Andy has some excellent and his will to listen too counter points without getting defensive.  You're in a great role with the league, I hope you enjoy it. 

Calvin Steeves - I can only wish for something colourful, bright and cheery for Cal.  I'm thinking wardrobe expansion.  I'm thinking that Cal should start acquiring Hawaiian Lia's of every colour to match the funky shorts. 

Jim Mannell - I guess it wouldn't be fair for me to say "DON'T GO!"  Jim, who for those of you who don't know, will be moving sometime during the summer next year and it'll be out of commuting range for ball.  He's promised to come back for the championship weekend and its my sincere hope that we see "The Mick" there. 

Brad Young - You've got a pretty good arm.  And range.  And bat.  And speed.  And glove.  And sense of humour.  And participation level.  You might have a future in this league.  My wish is that you keep absorbing from the vets (like Bob last year) around you, you're off to an awesome start!
Gary Cox - I wish you and Swabuk were on the same team.  It would be hysterical.  I wouldn't want to be my team, no one would ever be focused on the game because you two would have them in stitches, but it sure would be fun to play against!
John Hardy - Speaking of nice starts to an Old Timers career!  You won a let of fans last year.  I heard that you just finished a book signing tour too, that's awesome!  My wish is that you stay genuine and true to your fan base.  Don't get all caught up in the "Hardy- Hype".    Here's to great sophomore follow up season.

Mark Kolsen - The gentle giant.  My wish for Mark is an everyday position, he moves around an awful lot.  Rob and I have decided that if we can successfully rig the draft next year, we've got a spot for you!


Rob McCarron - My wish for Rob?  A watch.  With an alarm.

Don Booth - My wish is to have a friendly beer bet with Booth and Pearce for games played as a sub.  I was close until a turned ankle set me back.  A pint of your favourite from the other two to the winner?

Hugh Armstrong - My wish is that Hugh is FINALLY exposed for the nice kind spirited man that he is.  He comes off as tough and cutting with own particular bravado type humour, but truth is that he just uses to mask the trough.  2013 will be the year of the Hugh. 

Kevin Moon - My wish for Mooner is "keep it up!"   A dazzling season last, year and an off the charts insane second half.  Keep that run going!  50 is the new 49. 

Dan Routledge - Dan, my wish of you simply stated, "you don't have to go all in on the 1st hand!!! Its a long wait until the next game" 

Dwayne Comer - I'm assuming you'll be back Dwyane, there'd be a lot of disappointed people if you weren't.  My wish is that you keep asking questions of team mates and opposition.  I think you've realized that people on both sides genuinely want to see guys succeed.  You made strides throughout the year and are fun guy to be around.  Keep it up!

Jason Bowers - "Retiring" from sub controller to focus on the Tap Masters 100% of the time, huh?  My wish is that the rest of the league doesn't get buried from your revolutionary tactics!
Randy Rose - We'll Randy, you had some stretches last year!  A two homer game if I remember correctly?  You hit the ball really well last year and stupid hard.  My wish is that you find that line drive groove consistently, there'd be no stopping you. 

Sandy Bell - We'll, it looked for a while like I wasn't going to have to make this wish, but .... circumstances necessitate it.  Sandy has been on a team with 1st year captains (I think) for 3 consecutive years?  Or 3 of 4, something like that.  There's an outside shot we could have new captains next year.  In the event we do, I'm hoping Sandy gets a 'been around for a while' team.  The Woody's or Red Dogs would be nice. 

And that is finally it for 2012.  The 1st BLOG of 2013 will be boring.  All sorts of stats about the BLOG itself in mid January and then the fun starts as the count down to draft day begins in earnest!

Cheers and Merry Christmas!.