GAME 19: Another Playoff Sweep (Dislocated Joints)

NOTES - August Tournament



Only 17 days until the start of the August tournament....I've had a number of inquiries about the Fun Division and that is great!  Please keep the requests to be put on a team coming.  If you receive an email or txt back from me confirming receipt of your request, then you're all good!

If you want to put a team in one of the SPN competitive division please reach out to Jeff Dancey.  You can find contact info for Jeff on the league website ===> HERE

Also, Andy Gee and John Stiff are managing the BBQ and Bar respectively.  These are two critical areas for our league fund raising.  If you have any particular interest in helping in one of these areas please contact them.  If you don't know how, click the tab above called, "August Tournament" and send me your info and I'll get you in touch with them.  
 

INTRO

Oh, I know I'm not alone!  There was a time a few years ago when I thought I was the only one who obsessed about this league, the stats, the players, the defensive alignments, the in game strategies, the extra bases...etc, etc, endlessly.

But slowly over the years, more and more of you crazies have come out of the woodwork.  There's the ones you expect.  Typically younger, stat conscious, somewhat computer savvy.  These guys don't care if people know they're into it.  Then there's the my age group who have 10 or so years in the league who are caught between getting caught up in the stats and getting caught getting caught up in it.  No one wants to be embarrassed!  Then we have a 3rd group of older gents who are all over it and don't give a rats a$$ who knows.

In all these demographics are people who couldn't tell you their batting average, when their next game is and call a "catcher" a "back-catcher" (shuddering).  It takes all kinds.  Its what makes the league great!

So this edition of the BLOG is very specific segment of our league.  Its not so much for casual player; because you've probably never been on the BLOG anyway.  Its not for the borderline psycho-obsessed player because you don't need any more convincing.  No, this is for the person who thinks they MIGHT be addicted to the Old Timers league but needs some help figuring it out.

You Might Be Addicted to T.O.T. If...

• You've coloured beer mugs on your Toronto Blue Jays sheets so that now they look like Tottenham Brew Jays sheets.  
• You actually understand that the Grisslies name has nothing to do with bears. 
• You chastise your children for pronouncing the "G" Hurting Units.  You say, "Its Hurtin' Units, Dammit!".
• You know who "Mr. Floppy" is.

• You can name 20 of the top 25 hitters in the league any given week. 
• You call people by their average, "Hey, .820!" (Mark Kolsen)
• In your mind, you still replay that error you made against the Woody's in week 3.  The error that would have made a 19-7 loss and 18-7 loss.  You KNOW that run could prove costly in plus minus!
• While you like the name Rusty Rebels, you and your friends constantly debate at the Legion which of
  Don and Hugh are Rusty and which is the Rebel.  
• There's a straight chalk line from your couch to the bathroom. 
• Three of these:  Gatorade, Smokes, Spits, Coffee, Chewing Tobacco, are part of your 'in game' diet regimen.
• You sneak around with the big K-mart sign you bought at the flea market, that you put on people's front lawns if they strike out.

• If you reach base in your first at bat of the game you know your new average before you get to the bag. 
• If you don't reach base in your first at bat of the game you know your new average before you get to the dugout. 
• You don't mind your wife ogling Rob Hayward.  After all, he IS a hell of a ball player!
• You rented all the Batman movies only to discover that there were no bats at all.     
• You think that having 3 teams with initials DC (Dusty Cleats, Dog Catchers, Dodge City) is a travesty and as bad as having two Rough Riders in the CFL.  
• All your conversations about Doris Casullo start with "When he's healthy ...."
• You're 56 years old and talking openly about approaching the "prime of your career". 
• You won't walk to the corner store in a drizzle but you get upset if your game is called in a downpour!

• When its your turn to hit, the music playing in your head is "Eye of the Tiger" as you stride to the plate. 
• You and your team mates have created a T.O.T "All - Tall Team" while drunk one night at the Legion.
• You and your team mates have created a T.O.T "All -Short Team" while drunk one night at the Legion.
• You and your team mates have created a T.O.T "All -Ugly Team" while drunk one night at the Legion.

• You and your team mates have created a T.O.T "All -Drunk Team" while drunk one night at the Legion.
• You and your team mates have created a T.O.T "All -Funny Team" while drunk one night at the Legion.
• You and your team mates have created a T.O.T "All -Obnoxious Team" while drunk one night at the Legion.
• You are on 3 or more of the above teams.   
• Your wife gives you tips in the bedroom...."Its okay honey, its like hitting off of Derryl Gaudet; you just have to relax and concentrate!"
• Your favourite all time movies are 1.  Bull Durham, 2.  Bull Durham;  3. Bull Durham.  4. Bull Durham; and 5.  Baseketball (just for variety sake) 

• You can't understand why your wife doesn't want to renew your vows at home plate with Roman officiating the ceremony?
• Face it, you're wife puts up with a lot; but the poster of the 2009 Wild Championship team HAS TO COME DOWN NOW!
• Still with the wives; your wife has now clued into your budding obsessiveness, she asks you one day over a nice dinner (you have a late game) which is more important, saving her life or or making a diving two out catch in the outfield.  Without hesitation you ask the most meaningful quest; "how many runners would be on base in this scenario?. 

THE SPEECH

Rob:  Hey...
Doug: Robert.  Nice work on the "stairway to heaven tune last week!

Rob: I thought you hated that song.
Doug: Oh, I do!  But yours was creative.  Much better than the original. 
Rob: I know.
Doug: You take compliments exceedingly well. 
Rob: I know.
Doug: [sigh]  So what else is new? 
Rob:  I'm throwing a change up this week on the song. I'm going with something fairly current.
Doug: Really?  something from 1978 maybe?
Rob:  No, more like in the last year.  Have you heard of Adele?
Doug: Yeah Rob, pretty much everyone has heard of Adele.
Rob:   I'm doing her song, "Rolling in the Deep"
Doug: That is a change up!  Ok, it'll be good to have something for those that didn't get to see the Glenn Miller Orchestra live at the CNE Bandshell. Anything else going on? 
Rob:  Well, there's been a little talk about the Grisslies lately 
Doug:  Yeah, I've noticed. 
Rob:  You know why? 
Doug:  I think so, but what are your thoughts?
Rob:  Its because I'm awesome. 
Doug:  Only a fool would argue that Rob.  But there seems to STILL be some angst about Bob.

Rob: I can't say I'm surprised, he's playing really well.  The fielding, the throwing, the hitting.  He's the total package.  
Doug: That's true, I won't dispute it.  But its luck of the draw right?  You can't plan these things, they just happen. 
Rob: Yep, you gotta let the noise go, don't worry about it. 
Doug: Okay fair enough, I'll shut it out. 
Rob: Good.  I'm sure every team would like to have a Bob Vienneau.  We just got lucky.  
Doug: Vienneau?  I was talking about Bob Smith.  
Rob: Really?  He's kind of one dimensional.  Only plays one position 
Doug:  Its a pretty important position
Rob: Why?  Is he a pitcher 
Doug:  Forget it.

And Rob's rendition of "Rolling In The Deep" by Adele that has been reworded to "Another Playoff Sweep".  I think Adele would like this.  Maybe I'll send it to her and she can re-release it as a club-mix.  Music ===> HERE

Another Playoff Sweep

There's a fire starting in my heart,

Reaching a fever pitch and it's swallowing up the park.

Finally I can see the ball crystal clear

Go ahead and swing away and I'll clear the bases bare.

See how I'll leave, with runners all cashed in

Don't underestimate the things that I will do.

There's a Farah pitching at the park,

Fans are reaching a fever pitch and yelling in the dark.

The catch from your glove, remind me of us.

They keep me thinking the Grisslies could win it all

The catch from your glove, it leaves me speechless

I can't help feeling

We might just win it all

Another playoff sweep

You have the game inside your hand

And you played it

To the beat

The Grisslies have a story to be told

But if you knew the truth of it; it'll make your head burn,

Think of this if you start to despair

These are only practice games, its not 'till September that you have to care.

The catch from your glove, remind me of us.

They keep me thinking the Grisslies could win it all

The catch from your glove, it leaves me speechless

I can't help feeling

We might just win it all

Another playoff sweep

You have the game inside your hand

And you played it

To the beat

We might just win it all

Another playoff sweep

You have the game inside your hand

And you played it

To the beat

Throw that ball through every open door

Count your blessings to find what you look for

Turn my sorrow into treasured gold

You pay me back in kind with a shiny trophy in the fall.

We might just win it all,

We might just win it all,

We might just win it all,

Another playoff sweep

You have the game inside your hand

And you played it

To the beat

We might just win it all,

Another playoff sweep

You have the game inside your hand

And you played it

You played it,

You played it

You played it to the beat

 

THE GAME

Well, it isn't early anymore.  For us I can't use the old standby line, "there's a lot of baseball left".  We kind of are who we are.  This game featured the number 1 defensive club (Joints) against the number 2 defensive team (Grisslies).  They are also #3 and #4 teams respectively in run differential so this looked on paper to be a competitive and close game. 

The Joints started out ready to assert themselves.  They managed to score 3 in the 1st on the strength of 5 hits.  Plating for the visitors were Terry Doucet (4/4, 2); Stef Kapp (2/4,1) and Dave McGovern (2/4, 2).  The Grisslies were a little on their heels, but came out flying in their half of the inning counting 4 runs on 5 hits of their own.  Scoring for the Grisslies were Doug Dwyer (3/3, 2); Jeff Sagert (2/3,2); Rick Cudnik (3/3, 3) and Lance "Stinger" Horgan (2/3, 1) 

Then the game became very "Grisslie-Style".  The Grisslies gave up no runs in the 2nd and turned a nice double play.  And the Grisslies went in order in their half of the inning.  The Joints would count 2 in the second with Doris Casullo (3/4, 1) and McGovern scoring before the Grisslies squelched the uprising by turning their second deuce.  The Grisslies would fail to score in the 3rd as well.   

5-4; Joints. 

The Dislocated Joints weren't quite done.  They stretched their lead to 7-4 as Steve Wynnyk (2/4, 1) and Doucet would score.  Queue the comeback.  The Grisslie 4th inning opened with a Rick Cudnik home run to right field.  The Grisslies would load the bases but Ricky's homer would be the only run of the inning. 

7-5; Joints

The Dislocated Joints had a lead off single followed by a pop out.  The next batter bounced into a inning ended double play as the Grisslies turned their 3rd of the night.  The Grisslie 5th was lead off by Bob Vienneau (1/3, 1) who singled to center.  Bob, Gary Basso (1/2, 1); Dwyer; Jeff Sagert and Cudnik would score as the Grisslies would recapture the lead.

10-7, Grisslies

The Grisslies would only face 7 batters over the final two innings and for good measure turn their 4th double play of the night.

The game ended like it was expected.  Close and good defense.  After scoring 7 runs between them in the 1st inning, only 10 more were scored over the final 6.  Nice game. 


Things to check out:

Check out the Donini Three Stars of the game here ==> STARS
Check out the Dislocated Joints game notes from DTBB & Terry Doucet ==> JOINTS
Check out the Tap Master's game notes from Jason Bowers ==> Tapped Out
Check out the Hurtin' Units BLOG from Jimmer ==> Hannibal Lecter
The League's Official Website ==> League

Week 13 Review

APOLOGY

We at The BLOG have made a grievous error.  Last weeks write up of the first place showdown between the Dislocated Joints and the Brew Jays should have included mention of a 4/4, one run performance Piero Del Greco.  It did not.  

As Journalists, we know that we're fully responsible for any errors or omissions that are contained in our documents.  My only hope is that my failure to report the news accurately does not prevent Piero from become the #4 he so richly deserves to be next year.  

The Editor.   

NOTES


The August Tournament is almost here .... I've had a number of inquiries about the Fun Division and that is great!  Please don't assume that I know you want to play, send me an email!  Contact information can be found ===> HERE. 

If you want to put a team in one of the SPN competitive division please reach out to Jeff Dancey.  You can find contact info for Jeff on the league website ===> HERE

Also, Andy Gee and John Stiff are managing the BBQ and Bar respectively.  These are two critical areas for our league fund raising.  If you have any particular interest in helping in one of these areas please contact them.  If you don't know who, click the link above and send me your info and I'll get you in touch with them. 

INTRO

Initially I was a little discouraged with this week.  Only 7 games, not a lot of action, the Jays won 28.5% of those games (I'm a stats guy) so there wouldn't be a lot of changes.  One of those "the rich get richer" weeks. Plus, it takes just as long to produce all these different run downs for the BLOG regardless of how many games there are so it just seemed a little, "for not".  .

Well, it turns out I was wrong.  As things began to unfold with chart after chart, it turns out that there were a number of changes.  Some pretty big.  So strap in for another round of stats!

STATs

Beginning at the Beginning....before we start digging down on trends and individuals.  You might think this is a little ho-hum this week, but there are some changes even the order is principally the same.  The Dusty Cleats, Banshees and Dog Catchers have been eliminated in the race for first place.  Expect another 1-4 teams next week. It's not official, but I think the first place challenge is virtually over.  Here's why.

The Tragic number column indicates the combination of Brew Jays wins and the designated teams losses added together that would be required to eliminate that team from contention for 1st place.  The tragic number for the Joints should actually be 6, but a tie in points does them no good as the Jays hold the tie breaker.  So they have to win outright.  The Red Dogs could still win the tie breaker against the Jays, but they'd have to beat them in the last game of the season and outscore them by nearly 100 runs over the next 6 games.  I don't like the odds.  The Beer Bros. and Jays haven't played yet so the tie breaker isn't determined between them yet.  There doesn't seem much point in checking records below that.

Lets just focus on the Dislocated Joints right now because their the closest to the Jays.  They have 7 games left and the Brew Jays have 6.  That's 13 games total and none head to head.  So here is exactly what has to happen for the Joints to take over 1st place.

So you have to ask yourself if a team that is on a 13 game winning streak is going to go 4-2 at the same time their immediate competition goes 7-0.  IT CAN HAPPEN!  But I ain't taking that bet. 

Now you've seen the full standings and Tragic Number, here is the 1st half standings.

  
I can't remember why I have two rank columns, neither of which seem to be right.  What can I say, it was late and there is a lot of nonsensical stuff floating through my wee little head.  However, the table is sorted properly for the 1st half based on games behind leader.  Now, on to the 2nd half.

I DO know why there are two rank columns in this one!  Column one is were a team ranks in this table.  Column 2 is where they rank in the year to date league standings.  Here is my rule of thumb on this, which has been proven to be reasonably accurate.  If the rank columns are within two digits of each other then the team (generally) who you thought they were.  So, the Brew Jays, Hot Tub Woody's, Red Dogs, Tap Masters, Beer Bros., Lucky Stiffs, Dog Catchers and Dusty Cleats are kind of representative of how they rank in the standings.  If you believe how I look at things.

Meanwhile, the Grisslies, Hurtin' Units, Rusty Rebels and Gruesome Devils might warrant a second look as being a little better that where they are ranked in the standings.

Finally, The Dodge City rounders and Dislocated Joints would look to have a better spot in the standings that how they are currently trending.

Food for thought.

Okay, now I'm hungry, more food for thought.........POWER RANKINGS!

I didn't give all the background numbers in this but I did give the ranking.  The PTS are based on the points in the league standings, that's obvious.  The next two columns offense and defense may not match up with how you read the standings.  The reason for this is that I've taken the total runs scored and allowed and divided by games and re-ranked.  For example, the Hurtin' Units have allowed 212 runs which is 5th overall.  However, they've only played 16 games so their per game average drops them to 8th.  (but still trending lower).

Lets talk about how this is flawed for starters.  First, it weighs all categories evenly.  There is nothing to say that is correct.  Also the plus / minus category has an element of double counting the runs for and against which clearly penalizes some teams (the Woody's are a good example).  Then there is the whole, "who gives a rats a$$" segment of the population.

The only defense I have for the Power Ranking chart is that the top 2 on last year's chart ended up in the final.  Also, the four semi-final teams were all rated in the top 5!  It would have been perfect, but those pesky Dog Catchers (I had them ranked 3rd) messed me up.  If you want to look at last years chart, you can CLICK HERE.  Its added a little differently, but you'll get the gist - its the fourth chart on the page.  

Okay, individual stats

And we lost another one, at least for a week as Andy Gee dipped to .797.  These guys are survivors and damned good hitters to be over .800 this long.  Every time they go 4/5 their average drops!  Keep it up guys.  And get better soon Scotty.

The Grisslies had an almost perfect game against the Tap Masters this week, at least as close to one as I've seen.  But you'd never know it from Tim Schrank's line on the score sheet.  4/4 with a run.   Here's a scouting tip for other teams in the league on how to defend Tim.....get more fielders.  This collection of guys are integral to their clubs.  They hit great and rarely if ever miss games.  Its nice to see the varying degrees of ratings, teams, ages and positions played on this list, everyone contributes!

Closed.

Closed

Because of rain outs and player availability issues, we'll be starting to track quarter 4 of the schedule next week, but Q3 will still be open for another 2 weeks as the Rusty Rebels, Hurtin' Units, Gruesome Devils and Dusty Cleats each have two or more games left to play before closing Q3.  Jamie is closed but with the collection of guys behind him....I don't know how safe that lead is! 

Roger just keeps on keeping on.  I'm actually kind of surprised that he's the only Brew Jays in the list considering that they lead the league in runs and games played.  A quick look at their team stats shows that they are all pretty balanced....7 players with 20 more runs scored.  That's tough to compete with.  Robinson, Booth and Armstrong (as much as pains me (the Armstrong part, not the Robinson or Booth bit)) are worth noting.  Their teams have played only 16 games and they still find themselves in the top 10.  Pretty impressive, even for a #1 like Hugh.   

Closed

Closed.

HEY!  I'm on a list!!!  Sadly, I won't stay because Q3 is closed for me (we've played 18 games) and there are a whack of guthat will pass me.  It was fun while it lasted.  Same as the Avg quarters, there will be a bit of a lengthy overlap between Q3 and Q4.

Yes, I don't know if I can call anymore attention to Roger.  BTW, he's good.

I think Brad has owned this all year.  Only he and Roger (heard of him?) are over 80% in the category.

Ya Baby!!!  Look out Schrank!  Okay, Timmy's in no danger, not from me or Rob.  Actually, Rob is getting close to me so he'll be moving down to 12th in the order.  The Grisslies are ahead in games played which is contributing factor.  Same with Tim.  Jerry has a game in hand on all of us and should jump back in the lead.  There is a huge group at 68 so there is still chance for big moves as the games even out.

Okay Jason, I think that's two weeks in a row you missed.  I may have to issue the Cliff Stacey challenge if you want to keep your lead!  I changed this from top 10 to +.700.  I might change it back.  Way to go Jon, if the stories I've heard are true this your first year of organized ball.  Congrats, you're up with some good names!

And Rick inches a little higher again!  Another 10 points up to a .295 point improvement!  That's excellent.  in fact everyone on the list is having a whale of a year.  Piero and Cliff have had remarkable turnarounds that would be talk of the town in a normal year.  But with 8 guys with averages over 150 points or more than last year and hitting over .700; there's a whole lot of awesome to go around!

GAMES:

Dusty Cleats 2;  Brew Jays 16
This was the game of the week and and it was good one for 4 innings.  You can read about it HERE.  The Brew Jays bats woke up and ran rough shot over the Cleats in the second half of the game.  The lively bats were owned by Bill Clouthier (4/4,1); David Polny (4/4,2) and Rob Hayward (4/4,2).  CP, the Cleats pitcher and captain was the only player with a perfect night for the visitors (4/4)

Rescheduled to Tuesday, September 4th, 7:00 PM at C3

Rescheduled to Monday, August 20th, 9:30 PM at Keogh Park

Lucky Stiffs 4; Hurtin' Units 9
In a competitive defensive game the Hurtin' Units pulled out a victory despite the Lucky stiffs doing well to slow down their normally potent offense.  John Barlow again led the way fro the Stiffs going 3/3 with a run scored.  Meanwhile, Clayton Avery and Rob Rumboldt continue to assault the top 25 as both went 4/4  Clayton also chipped in 2 runs scored.

Grisslies 17;  Tap Masters 1
In a game that pitted that second best offense against the second best defense, the defense prevailed.  At least this time.  The Grisslies were led by Rick Cudnik (5/5,2); Gary Basso (4/4,2); Lance Horgan (5/5,4) and Charles Nelson O'Leary (4/4,1).  The big night for the Tap Masters was none other than Captain Tim Schrank who was 4/4 with the team's lone run scored.  

Dog Catchers 2; Beer Bros 16
An almost identical game to the Grisslie v. Tap Masters game was going on at the same time on diamond 3.  Like the Tap Masters, their captain, Larry Turner had the only perfect night going 3/3.  The Beer Bros. had perfect nights from Peter Holmann (4/4, 3) and Captain Paul Piellusch (3/3, 2)

Red Dogs 7; Hot Tub Woody's 12
In a rain shortened affair, several Red Dogs felt they may have run out of innings in this one.  However, several Hot Tub Woody's felt the Red Dogs were lucky to only have to face Chuck Cragg 3 times.  The Red Dogs had Bob Candy and Rick Hjelholt both go 2/2 with a run scored over 4 1/2 innings.  The Hot Tub Woody's had perfect nights from Brad Moye (3/3,2), Chuck Cragg (3/3,3), Steve Brooks (3/3,2) and Not So Fast Eddie Hopkins (2/2).

Dislocated Joints 16; Rusty Rebels 11
The Dislocated Joints' only perfect night was from Captain Terry Doucet who was 4/4 with a run scored.  And another captain came through for the Rebels as Hugh Armstrong went 4/4 with 2 runs scored.

Brew Jays 12; Dodge City Rounders 2
The 13th win a row for the Jays started with a big inning and they just steam rolled from there.  Keith Beechey was Dodge City's only perfect hitter at 3/3 with a run scored.  The Brew Jays Joined the Captain parade this week as Rod Duggan was 4/4 with a run scored.  Joining Rod were Jamie McClean (3/3); Lynn Foerster (4/4,2) and Roger Gaudet (4/4,2). 

Rescheduled to Tuesday, July 31st, 9:30 PM at C3

Things to check out:

Check out the Donini Three Stars of the game here ==> STARS
Check out the Dislocated Joints game notes from DTBB & Terry Doucet ==> JOINTS
Check out the Tap Master's game notes from Jason Bowers ==> Tapped Out
Check out the Hurtin' Units BLOG from Jimmer ==> Hannibal Lecter
The League's Official Website ==> League

GAME 18: Breakfast at The Kitchen

THE INTRO

Does everyone know Art Sagert?  I have it on good authority that he can be a little "bossy".  Like he's in "Command".  And that fake English accent does tend to get a tad annoying, but we've adjusted on the club.  For those of you who don't know Art, here's a picture.

Yep, there's our Art.  Don't let the wry smile fool you though, he can be pretty direct.  Plus he walks around with this catch phrase, "Make It So!", game, after game, after game after ever loving game.  I guess it he's been doing it since about game 4 this season.

Doug: Hey Art, want to bat lead off? 
Art: Make It So!
Doug: Art, should we grab another jug? 
Art:  Make It So!
Doug: Hey Art, are you going to fix the hole in your shorts? 
Art: Make It Sew!

But it didn't start off that way, he needed to find his way to "Make It So!".  Game 1 was funny.

It was a good look for Art.  But it got warm for game 2 so he tried another.

Yes, Art does have an aura about him, but this wasn't a very baseball friendly catch phrase. So The Art-meister took another stab at it for game 3.

We voted to keep this one, but Art showed up with "Make It So" for the next game and another catch phrase legend was born.

Then it was the name....Ohhhhh, the name drama.  Apparently just "Art" wasn't good enough.  Then the well thought out nickname, "The Art of Hitting" no longer cut the mustard.  We had the short lived "Jeffy Pop's Pop", but apparently that wasn't up to The Art's high standards.  Art insisted that we start calling him "Captain Art".  Rob was quick to point out that the team already had a captain.  I reminded Rob that the team actually had two captains to which Rob replied, "not really".

Nice.

When asked why he wanted to be called Captain Art, Captain Art had this reply.

That pretty much sums it up doesn't it?  And it wasn't like being called "Captain Art" was quite enough.  Now before Rob's speech every game, Captain Art has to do his log update.

Captain Art is never shy about his opinion.  He's chimed in on a couple of points this season.  Here's Captain Art's reaction to Jeff Sagert's slide into 2nd base last week.

Yeah, it was one of those moments.  However, Chuck Cragg's two home runs off of Rob Farah this year elicited this response:

Ouch, the double face palm!!!!  It took Rob a while to recover from that.

One night Captain Art and I were talking about the batting order in the Legion.  I tend to be a little wordy...but I laid out my opinion as well as I could.  I talked about force outs and speed and averages with runners on and power slots, etc, etc, etc.  I asked what he thought about my rationale.  Captain Art says:

I think that was his subtle way of saying that I should keep working on the batting order.  That Captain Art, he's so awesome at sign language.  Then there was the argument over Ricky Bobby catching a ball that he called for.  Oh dear....that was an ugly one.  There was a moment there that I thought there could be something physical in the middle of the Legion, then Captain Art stood up said he had enough,

There was a time I could write whatever I wanted here with no fear of Captain Art finding out.  Yeah it used to be that he was no more tech savvy than Popeye Muirhead.  But that's all changed.  He's online all the time know since he got his new Android Phone!

In closing, please don't go thinking that Captain Art has become some crotchety, old, totalitarian, mean spirited freak.  That's not fair, this is only a joke.  Art is NOT mean-spirited.  And to prove it, here is final picture of Captain Art having fun which will make a lot more sense when you read the speech.

THE SPEECH

Doug:   You know what's weird?

Rob: You?

Doug:   Yeah, good one. You know what else is weird though?

Rob:  What?

Doug:   You haven't done very much of your style of music this year. 

Rob:  Awesome job noticing that, we're only 18 games into the season!

Doug:   Well, you asked me to stay out of the music, so I was just making a general observation.

Rob:  Yeah, well that's going to end with the next song.  I've used an actual classic Rock and Roll song that I co-wrote the original version of, so I can probably do it just in my head without even needing to write it out.

Doug:   Well, unless you sync your brain with the BLOG it'll be hard for people to read it.  

Rob:  Oh yeah.  Right.  Well I'll write it out for the simple folk.

Doug:   Thanks for taking care of us commoners. So what band are you ripping off?

Rob:  Oh, its a little group I like to call Heavy Blimp.

Doug:  Led Zepplin?

Rob:  How did you know?

Doug: Shot in the dark.  And what song?

Rob:  Maybe you've heard of "Stairway to Heaven"?

Doug:  Yeah.

Rob:  You don't sound impressed.

Doug:  Its in my top 5 of most hated songs.  I actually hate it more than canned tuna and cats.  Wait.  Not more than tuna, but definitely more than cats.  

Rob:  Are you kidding, its like the best song EVER!  Better than a tea party with my grand daughter.

Doug:  Rob, the lyrics could have been written by your grand daughter.  Well, if she dumbed down her vocabulary a bit.  Its that pseudo intellectual crap.  Its one of those "If I throw down random thoughts I'll sound smart."  Sort of like Tears for Fears without the synthesizer.   

Rob:  Well, it is a little random.  When Robert Plant and I wrote it, we each wrote every other line, so its actually two stories in one.  Try reading it that way.  Maybe you'll understand it better. 

Doug:  You didn't write it Rob

Rob:  Did too.

Doug:  Didn't

Rob:  Did.

Doug:  Prove it. 

Rob:  Ok....you read the third verse like this:

 

There's a feeling I get when I look to the west,

And my spirit is crying for leaving.

In my thoughts I have seen rings of smoke through the trees,

And the voices of those who stand looking. 

Doug:  Yeah, I know.  Its stupid  

Rob:  Well the 1st and 3rd line were written by Plant.  

There's a feeling I get when I look to the west,

In my thoughts I have seen rings of smoke through the trees,

 

Doug:  So?  

Rob:  So its about how he knew they had to go 'west' from England to make their fortune but he also knew that they band would self - implode and go up in 'smoke'.  

Doug:  A stretch, but okay

Rob:  And then I wrote the 2nd and 4th lines

And my spirit is crying for leaving.

And the voices of those who stand looking. 

Rob:  That's about how I wanted to stay as Heavy Blimp's co-writer but I had been asked by Paul McCartney to start a new band with him called Wings.  So my 'spirit' was upset and the 'voices' were the band who knew that it would be my last tour. 

Doug:  Brilliant. 

Rob:  Thanks.

Doug:  I think if you were actually charged with a crime that you could never stand trial.  I'm no doctor but there has to be some kind of diagnosis for this.  From a purely George Costanza sense, "its not a lie if you believe it"; so while you're not technically lying, there is something definitively pathological about your stories.  Maybe its "off the rails" narcissism.  If its not pathological, its at least compulsive.  You really believe these things and you're not the least bit shy.

Rob:  Why should I be shy?  YOU'RE the one who should be shy!  You didn't write with Led Zepplin!!!

Doug:  No, of course not, neither did you, that's the point!!!!!!!!  

Rob:  Then how do I know that Robert Plant's middle name is Anthony?  Eh?

Doug:  Oh, I don't know, Google???

Rob:  Who is this Google, they weren't in the band.  I would know.  

PHONE:  [Ring....Ring....Ring]

Doug: Are you going to answer that? 

Rob:Yeah....[puts the phone on speaker]

Doug:  Why do you do that to people....I hate the speaker phone...

Rob:  [aside] Shhhhh...I'm on the phone.  You've reached The Farah Estates, how can I help you?

Phone:  [English Accent]  Is this my favourite middle eastern co-writer?

Rob: Robert ANTHONY Plant!  How are you?  Its been almost 2 years since we chatted. 

Doug:  [Mouthing Silently]  B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T 

Phone:  Oh, you know me mate, all sixes and sevens.  Look I just got off the phone with our Barrister and he says we're clear to tour Canada starting on the 1st of September.  Are you in?

Rob: Ummmmm.  I can't.

Phone:  That's Codd's Wallop, of course you can

Rob: Nope, sorry Robert, its baseball playoffs and you know how I feel about that..

Phone: Well as tribute to you missing the tour, we'll only sing every other line to Stairway to Heaven.   

Rob:  Its nice to know someone in this world appreciates. me. 

Doug:  [Mouthing Silently]  B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T

 

There is far too much ado in this world.  So without any further ado, here is the complete Rob version of Stairway to Heaven.  Music ===> HERE  The lyrics actually start at the :56 second mark of the song. 

Breakfast at The Kitchen 

The Grisslie players all know to do what they're told.

And they start all tournaments with bacon.

And when its fried they all know if its overdone it will blow.

With a word they can get just what they pay for.

Ooooo, Ooooo, Ooooo, Ooooo

And he's buying his breakfast at the Kitchen.

There´s a sign on the wall but he wants to be sure.

Cause he know sometimes words have two meanings.

On the sidewalk by the window there´s a song bird who sings,

Sometimes all of our lyrics have no meaning.

Oooooooo,

And my bread is wonder.

Oooooooo,

And my bread is wonder.

There´s a feeling I get when I look to the west.

And my stomach is crying for pudding.

In my thoughts I have seen onion rings with piles of cheese,

And the voices of those who are ordering.

Oooooooo,

And my bread is wonder.

Oooooooo,

And my bread is wonder.

And it´s whispered that soon if we get there by noon.

Then the coffee will taste like its from heaven

And a new day will dawn for those who like it strong.

And the forests will be made from the Cedar.

And my bread is wonder

If there´s peameal in your eggs bennie don´t be alarmed now.

It´s just compliments all the caffeine.

Yes there two meals you can go by, but in the long run.

The belt buster is the one that will do you no wrong.

And my bread is wonder

Your head is spinning with the options - in case you don´t know.

The waffle wants you to try him

And the pancakes are good too, no they don't blow

Your crepes lay on the whispering wind.

And as we wind on down the road.

Our bellies full we're good to go.

Heading to the game, we all know.

We're on our way to put on a show.

Now every play will turn to gold.

And if you watch really hard

You'll see we don't need a scorecard

When all are one and one is all.

These Grisslies rock and will not roll

And he's buying his breakfast at the Kitchen

THE GAME

The Tap Masters.....5th place at 9-7-1, 3rd place in my power rankings, 1st place in runs scored, 2nd place in runs allowed, and 2nd place in run differential.

The Grisslies.....7th place at 8-8-1, 6th place in my power rankings, 8th place in runs scored, 6th place in runs allowed, and 6th place in run differential.

Doesn't sound like a completely fair matchup.  However this game will be played at C2 where the Tap Masters are 1-1 having beaten the Lucky Stiffs (32-15) and dropping one to the Banshees (19-14).  C2 has been very kind to the Grisslies where we've fashioned a 3-0-1 record and will now play the rest of our schedule exclusively on that diamond.  We bested the Dusty Cleats (12-5), tied the Stiffs (12-12), beat the Hot Tub Woody's (14-6) and the Hurtin' Units (9-5).

Average runs scored for the Tap Masters on C2, 23; against, 17.  Average runs scored for the Grisslies on C2, 11.75; against, 7.

Well, its better.  A run differential of 6 to 4.75.  At least there is a snowballs chance.  If I had another hour to crunch numbers, I could probably work us into favourites!  Although its probably worth mentioning that they already beat us 16-10 back in May (but that was on C3!).

The game started as most of ours have of late, the Grisslies scored 4 in the 1st and kept the opponents off of the score board.

Then something really odd happened.  We scored two more in the second.  Four more in the third.  Three more in the fourth.  One in the fifth and three in the sixth.

By the time the dust cleared it was 17-0 heading into the 7th inning.  The bottom of the 7th stared with Captain Tim Shrank (4/4) singling and Mike Roche (2/4) moving him to second on another single.  Two on and nobody out.  The Grisslies weren't too worried though as we had worked out of bases loaded situations in the 4th, 5th and 6th without surrendering a run.  However, Captain Jason Bowers (1/4) cashed in Schrank with the Tap Masters sole run of the night.  The final of this game was 17-1.

NOTES:

• Stellar play by Gary Basso on a bases loaded line drive to left off the bat of Paul Doyle to end the 6th. 
• Excellent mound defense from CP who made 5 outs from the hump. 
• Mike Roche's force out at 3rd base and Tim Shrank's reaction was probably the highlight of the night. 
• Very nice defense at 2nd base from Bobby V. particularly tracking back on a tricky blooper that looked for sure like it was going to fall in.

Things to check out:

Check out the Donini Three Stars of the game here ==> STARS
Check out the Dislocated Joints game notes from DTBB ==> JOINTS
Check out the Tap Master's game notes from Jason Bowers ==> Tapped Out
Check out the Brew Jays game notes from Rod and Bo ==> Jays Squawk
Check out the Hurtin' Units BLOG ==> Hannibal Lecter
The League's Official Website ==> League

Game of The Week (Week 13)

INTRO

Well, this is a bit of a weird week for the schedule.  We have no 7:00 game on Wednesday as per normal at the end of a month; this due to the Captain's meeting.  Plus we've lost 2 games this week due to lack of players.  Good advance work between the Gruesome Devils, Dodge City Rounders and Banshees allowed for these games to be rescheduled.  And then we had a rain out of the second game of Monday night.  So this has become the lightest week of the year with only 7 games.

However, in that mix is was our game of the week featuring the Dusty Cleats and the Brew Jays.

This is a situation where it is really to be flippant about this game.  Its worst versus first.  The Brew Jays sit with a 12-4 record having won 11 in a row.  They have won blow outs, come from behind games and one run nail biters.  They are a formidable offensive club.  They have only one player hitting under .661.  The Jays are led by Rod Duggan's .764 and he's followed by four other +700 hitters.  Lynn Foerster (.750),  Roger Gaudet (.745), Rob Hayward (.714) and Dave Polny (.710).  They are 1st in the league in points and run differential, 2nd in runs scored and 7th in defense and won the Help The Kids Play tournament.

Contrast that with the Dusty Cleats.  They have a 3-15 record, having dropped 8 in a row.   They are 15th in points, 15th in offense, 15th in run differential and 11th in defense.  They have 3 +.700 hitters starting with the unworldly Scott Barton at .927 and followed by Mark Doyle (.736) and Kevin Boston (.704).

Sounds like a white wash to me.

However, the Dusty Cleats were finalists in the Help The Kids tournament and if you bother to look at the schedule you'll see that one of the 3 Cleats wins this year was against the Brew Jays.  They defeated them 14-11 back on May 17th.  The Dusty Cleats were a pre-season favourite of mine.  I like their pitching, I like the whole of their defense but I didn't anticipate the hitting being where it is.  However, I maintain that its the easiest of the three things to fix.  I still think there's more than enough time for that to happen (witness the HTKP tournament) and teams better watch out it the bats come around.

On to the game!

The visiting Cleats opened the game with a lead off double from Tim Sullivan (3/4, 2).  It was aggressive base running that got him to second as the double was hardly routine.  Captain and Pitcher (that's what CP stands for) CP followed (3/3) with a double of his own to score Sullivan.  But 3 quick outs on a fly ball to left and ground outs to the pitcher and 3rd base would end the inning with only the single run across.

The vaunted Brew Jay offense wasn't up long in the first.   Two quick outs were followed by a Roger Gaudet (3/4, 2) single and then a fly ball ended things. 

The second inning was similar for both clubs.  The Cleats got Fraser Barrett (1/3) to second and Wayne Caldwell (1/3) to 1st, but couldn't find the clutch hit to punch across another run.  The Brew Jays got a lead off single from Rob Hayward (4/4, 2) but he was forced at second by Dave Fleming (3/4, 1).  Dave would be forced by Dave Polny (4/4, 2) and the inning ended on a line out to the pitcher.

The Dusty Cleats would score their second run in the 3rd when Sullivan again led off with a hit, this time a single.  CP again followed with another single.  After a fly out put runners at 1st and 3rd a Cliff Joseph (0/3) sac fly would score the run. 

The Brew Jays finally got on the board in the 3rd inning and they would score in each remaining inning.  It started with a Bill Clouthier (4/4, 1) single followed by another single from Jerry Muirhead (3/3, 2).  Lynn Foerster's (3/4, 2) single would load the bases with the heart of the order coming up.  Bo Niederhuber (3/4, 2) would hit a two run single to put the Brew Jays in flight.  Rob Hayward would single in the last run of the inning making the score Brew Jays 3, Dusty Cleats 2 after 3 innings.

The Dusty Cleats went 3 up 3 down in the fourth.  The brew Jays would push across another run in here half would Polny's lead off single would come around to score on single by Bill Clouthier.

4-2 Jays after 4.  Still very much a competitive and sound defensive game.  The Cleats 5th started with some promise when Stephane Simard (2/3) led off with a single.  After a fly out, CP would have his 3rd base hit of the night and Mark Doyle (1/3) would follow with a fielders choice that forced Steph at third.  Another ground ball to the pitcher would end the inning.

The Brew Jays then blew the doors off of the game.  The first seven batters of the inning, Niederhuber, Gaudet, Duggan, Hayward, Fleming (3/4, 1), Polny and Del Greco (2/4, 1) would all reach and score.  The last 3 scoring on a Bill Clouthier triple to right field.

The wind was clearly out of the Dusty Cleats sails at that point and they went 3 up and 3 down in both the 6th and 7th.  The Jays scored another 5 in the 6th inning to finish this one off with a 16-2 score.

NOTES;

• The Brew Jays had 28 men reach base safely in the 6 innings that they batted in this game.
• The Dusty Cleats had only 13 men reach over 7 innings.  
• The Cleats were without Scott Barton and Kevin Boston in this one.  

PLAYERS OF THE GAME:

Dusty Cleats:  For this one, I'm picking Tim Sullivan.  Tim was 3/4 and scored both of the Cleats runs.
Brew Jays: Rob Hayward and Dave Polny were both 4/4 with 2 runs scored, but I'm going with Bill Clouthier for this one.  Bill was on fire pitching and giving up only two runs in this league is a pretty big deal.  Plus going 4/4 with a run scored and 3 RBIs isn't too shabby either!
    
 Things to check out:

Check out the Donini Three Stars of the game here ==> STARS
Check out the Dislocated Joints game notes from DTBB & Terry Doucet ==> JOINTS
Check out the Tap Master's game notes from Jason Bowers ==> Tapped Out
Check out the Hurtin' Units BLOG from Jimmer ==> Hannibal Lecter
The League's Official Website ==> League