July 24, 2009

Dateline: July 24th, 2009.

Magic Vs. Bird; Ali Vs. Foreman; McEnroe Vs. Borg; McGwire Vs. Sosa.

Bird, “chicks dig my shorts”. .

The point is this; the ‘one for the ages’ moments can’t be predicted, they just happen. Sometimes what looks like a good match up falls flat. Sometimes a seemingly meaningless game can be epic. Last night’s Grisslie’s Vs Wild was one that will be talked about in baseball circles for a long time. In fact, this could be a local legend within days.

Coming into the game the Wild had won 10 of 11 games. Sure, they were a little cocky, but why not? Their only loss was to the last place team in the league which was widely regarded as a bit of fluke. The Grisslies on the other hand were winners of 8 in a row (4 league games and 4 ‘friendlies’) and were equally hot.

Overheard in the players lounge (the Legion) last week, the wild were described as having “million dollar arms and 5 cent heads”. While that may be a tad harsh, they are young, brash bashers who win with their sticks while the Grisslies were a team that is older, slower, nearly devoid of power but may have the highest baseball IQ in the league. (according to one league insider) Rob Farah, delivering pre game speech.

In Rob Farah’s pre game speech to the team he quoted Shakespeare as he often does, 'some are born great, some achieve greatness and some have greatness thrust upon them' .

The team seemed to respond well to this speech. This was a huge upgrade from an early season speech that started, “As I said many times before, I never, ever, repeat myself” That particular speech seemed to leave the team confused and it impacted their bats for weeks.

Back to the game.

The Grisslies took the field first and it looked like a good start. Farah got 2 of the first 4 batters before an equipment problem forced him out of the game momentarily. “The rookie” completely unprepared came in to back up Farah and promptly served up a wind aided triple scoring 2 runs. Fortunately for the Gris, the equipment problem was magically repaired and Farah finished the frame without any further damage. The Wild would only get one additional run before the 7th inning.

In the Grisslies 1st at bat four of the first five batters reached. The Gris went on to score the maximum runs for the inning.

Its not that the game was over after the 1st inning, but the tone had been set. The Grisslies did what has become typical for them, they had one big inning and a bunch of little ones for 13 runs. The Grisslies were momentarily confused in the 6th inning when there was a bit of commotion on the Wild’s bench. There seemed to be some choreographed activities that soon became clear. The Wild executed a perfectly timed ‘rain dance’ causing the skys to open for their at bat in the 7th.

Mark Doyle, “sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, sometimes it rains”.

The 7th inning was a bit of an adventure. Doyle’s “supposedly” errant throw took out Dave ‘heart & soul’ McGovern, the Grisslies starting short stop. That, combined with torrential downpour in the 7th seemed to rattle the Grisslies.

Farah stayed consistent in the strike zone, but the defense abandoned him momentarily to the tune of four runs.

There were some quality moments throughout the game, not the least of which was Billy Clouthier’s snag at third off of Doyle’s bat and his off balance throw to nip him by a step at 1st.

Clouthier, “that’s nothing, you should see me after a few shooters!”

INJURY REPORT:

Ingo: None
Billy: Back
Dwyer: Head (may be more related to closing the Legion than it is to baseball)
Farah: feet
John: Knees (does not impact golfing)
Dan: None
McCarron: None
Dave: Hand

Results of emergency MRI on Dave McGovern

Jim: Back (did not impact recent guest appearance on dancing with the stars)
Cliff: Suspended 3 weeks due to a drug violation. Cliff Stacey, “I thought they said legal substance, not illegal substance. They were talking in English but I was listening in Newfie!”
Steve: None
Doris: Arm, finger, shoulder, lower back, middle back, upper back, ass, hamstring, calf, left knee, ankle, other shoulder, ear lobe, groin, hair (should be able to avoid the DL as this is healthier than normal).

Said Doris, "I feel my range coming back, I’m almost pain free!”

The Grisslies hot streak finds them moving from dead last in the league with the most games played; to 10th place and tied for the fewest games played. As of today’s updated standings they are 2 points away from 4th place. The Wild on the other hand have moved from “running away with it” one short week ago; to a 3 way tie for 1st place. Stay tuned for an epic finish!

July 31 2009

Rob’s Runts Newsletter

Date line: July 31st, 2009.

The Grisslies missed their opportunity to face a 1st place team in consecutive games. The Dislocated Joints had moved into a tie for 1st with the help of The Wild’s two losses last week (one of which was at the hands of the Grisslies). There were some questions as to why the game was postponed. Lets be honest here, there has been a lot of talk of fear on behalf of the “joints” (as they are commonly known). Sure, it is possible that one of the “joints” could have picked up the Ebola virus; but 7 of them? Seems a little unlikely to me.

But enough about the game that wasn’t, lets focus on the game that was.

The Grisslies got over the disappointment of the missed Tuesday game and set their sites squarely on the Dog Catchers. This was an interesting test for the Grisslies because the Dog Catchers were only two points ahead of the Grisslies and looked (on paper) to be pretty close competition. BUT, they don’t play games on paper do they? Nope, they play them on water logged bumpy vacant lots sometimes referred to as diamonds.

Some league veterans had been quietly comparing the Dog Catchers to the 1927 Yankees.

Lou Gehrig, Babe Ruth, Tony Lazzeri.

Gehrig, Ruth, Lazzeri. Douglas, Hayward, Sullivan. Hard to say which is better isn’t it?
They are second in the league in hitting with a .620 on base average.

On the Grisslie side of the ledger, they have come to rely on the big stick of Rob McCarron. Rob has become our own Babe of sort. Rob came into the game leading the league in hitting. LEADING THE FREAKING LEAGUE! That hasn’t been done since last week when some other guy was leading. But for now, it’s a Grisslie with that honour.

Sadly, Rob went 2 for 3 which in the majors would be great; but when you are hitting .805 in old timers, men’s slow pitch, it’s a bit of come down. Yes, McCarron played like Babe alright. Babe Didrikson. It was a “slippery pig” kind of night for McCarron, but we hope he rebounds quickly!

Babe Didrikson? Rob McCarron? You be the judge.

The Grisslies seemed to be impacted by the loss of Clifford “wheels” Stacey. Rarely has a player had such an impact on the makeup of a team. “It was weird not needing anyone to translate on the bench” said Steve Wynnyk. Rob Farah had this to say, “it was the strangest thing….every time I pitched the ball, it came RIGHT back into my glove!” Yes, Cliff was sorely missed.

Cliff proudly displaying his new “hand held wireless phone”

By all accounts, Rob Farah’s pre game speech this week blew. I mean, blew the doors off recent attempts. While he didn’t quote Shakespeare this week, he did stay with the English theme by not just quoting the late John Lennon & Sir Paul McCartney’s classic A Day in the Life, but by singing part of it.

“Woke up, fell out of bed, dragged a comb across my head.
Found my way downstairs and drank a cup. And looking up I noticed I was late.
Found my coat, grabbed my hat. Made the bus in seconds flat.
Found my way upstairs and had a smoke. And somebody spoke and I went into a dream”.

Win one for the Gipper be damned! There wasn’t a dry eye in the house.

Rob Farah, singing his pre game speech.

Back to the game.

The Grisslies were sluggish at best to start the game giving up two runs in the 1st inning. As bad as that was, there were no less than four errors in the inning and it actually could have been a lot worse. There seemed to be a hub of activity around first base. Doug Dwyer (who only answers if you use both names) failed to grab two balls in the dirt and didn’t have quite enough time to get a ladder and grab one that sailed over his head. Doug Dwyer apparently became bored with first base and decided to mess things up at second as well by dropping a fly ball hit right to Wynnyk.

Unbeknownst, to the rest of the team, Doug Dwyer had sensed a malaise in the team during the warm ups and purposely committed a multitude of errors to allow the team to have a common rallying point. (The last paragraph might be a complete lie)

True or otherwise, the team started to look like the Grisslies after the 1st inning. The final score was 10 – 4 with a few memorable moments. Farah & Doris, the Captain and Co-captain, contributed hugely defensively and at least one of them showed up with a bat too!

With a 10th win in a row, the rallying cry for the Grisslies is to not take the foot off the gas. Next week is the Lucky Stiffs and Grisslies, more than any other team, should know how motivated a last place team can be! Plus the Stiffs are known to have the odd super-sub and despite the fact that subs shouldn’t make a difference; you never know for sure!

PROPOSED NICKNAMES FOR GRISSLIE STAR PLAYERS.

Ingo: John Deere (because nothing runs like a Deere)
Billy: Hoover (everything gets sucked up at third)
Dwyer: PeeWee (I’d rather not explain)
Farah: Rapid Robert (may have something to do with his fastball – may not)
John: nuestro padre que viva en cielo honramos su nombre y su reino (translates to “bucky”)
Dan: Big Mac (leads the team in home runs; hence the Mark McGwire reference – also likes to eat Big Macs)
McCarron: Barney (apparently a purple jump suit hangs in the closet – who knew?) Also, “slippery pig”
Dave: Cabernet Sauvignon (because he has a smooth finish)
Jim: Diamond Jim (apparently there is a piercing that has been kept very quiet???)
Cliff: The Fury (ironic isn’t it?)
Steve: Frenchy (I don’t get it either)
Doris: Juke box hero
(because there are stars in his eyes)

All for now....check back next week!