(UNOFFICIAL)
Based on the following results: Beer Bros. Vs. Dodge City Rounders; Hurtin' Units Vs. The Wild (tie); Dislocated Joints Vs. Brew Jays; Lucky Stiffs Vs. Torn Ligaments; Rusty Rebels Vs. Grisslies; Dusty Cleats Vs. Banshees; Dislocated Joints Vs. Dog Catchers
Well, we only had one game last night as the Stiffs V. Beer Bros. game has been moved to next Tuesday. But that one game between the Dog Catchers and the Dislocated Joints made things much clearer.
We know now that 2nd and 3rd place will be contested by the Lucky Stiffs and the Grisslies and we won't know who gets what until next Tuesday.
We know that the Wild, Hot Tub Woody's and Dog Catchers will finish from 4th to 7th (although the Dog Catchers can't drop below 6th)
We know that the Banshees, Hurtin' Units and Red Dogs are deciding 9th thru 11th place.
We know that the Dislocated Joints and Beer Brothers control 13th and 14th.
Aug 29 - Hurtin Units tie means they can not finish lower than 12th.
Aug 29 - Wild's Tie means the Grisslies can not finish lower than 3rd.Aug 30 - Dislocated Joints loss means they can finish no higher than 10th and can not finish lower than 14th.
Aug 30 - Dislocated Joints loss means the Hurtin' Units can finish no worse than 11th.
Aug 30 - Rusty Rebels loss means they will finish either 12th or 13th.
Aug 30 - Rusty Rebels loss means the Red Dogs can not finish lower than 12th.
Aug 30 - Rusty Rebels loss means the Banshees can not finish lower than 12th.
Aug 30 - Torn Ligaments loss means they finish in 8th place.
Aug 30 - Lucky Stiffs win means the Dog Catchers, Hot Tub Woodys, Brew Jays, and Wild can finish no higher than 4th. They can also all finish no worse than 7th.
Aug 30 - Lucky Stiffs win means they can finish only 2nd or 3rd.
Aug 31 - Dislocated Joints loss means they can only finish 13th or 14th
Aug 31 - Dog Catchers win means then can finish no lower than 6th.
Thursday's game and what they could mean:
Red Dogs Vs. Dusty Cleats: A win for the Red Dogs means that they can finish as high as ninth; however a loss will lock them into the 11th spot. The game is not relevant to the Cleats for standings.
The Wild Vs. Hot Tub Woody's: If the Wild win this one they will lock up 4th place. A loss would mean a finish of 7th place. For the Woody's a win allows them to finish as high as 4th and loss assures them seventh.
INTRO
Well, anyone with an email address (so everyone in the league except for Jerry Muirhead) has seen those People of Walmart pictures circulating around from time to time. Generally they are both funny and offensive. Lets face it, everything will offend SOMEONE but I have a few hot buttons that will upset me.
I've been going through these since about week six and have removed anything that makes fun of people solely for their weight. Now, there still may be heavy people in this, but they aren't their because they are big, the size is incidental. Also removed are any pics that are in any way homophobic, racist or have a religious bent because I have zero tolerance for that stuff.
However, In a complete paradox, I have no issue making fun of the outrageously heterosexual, people from the southern states, east coast or Vancouver and my own religion. Oh, and white people! White people are funny!
So there you have it...if you don't dig that humour you should go.
For those of you who stayed, this is in salute to the Walmart we have now; just a stone's throw away in Alliston. Many of these pics have been taken there. Some are grainy due to my camera phone. I've added in a few captions for your viewing and reading pleasure.
Cheers and happy last "Game BLOG" of the season!
The sad part is that this picture was taken 20 minutes
before a tornado hit and a house fell on her head. Poor witch.
You don't necessarily need a church to
walk down the "aisle"
This couple had to wear their matching Star Spangled
jackets in Canada; because the USA has laws about
desecrating the flag
Only in Alliston. Side of the pickup, air brushed pictures of chicks I've nailed.
Rear window the truck, air brushed pictures of animals I've hunted. Classy, baby, Classy.
Those idiots at the Walmart tire center are rip off artists. I can get
another 30,000KM with duct tape sealant.
Seriously dude? You honestly thought this was a good call?
Oh, so selling beer in the shape of tanks is suddenly UN-cool? Please!
Ok, where to start. The Ocean Pacific outfit rocked, circa 1985; The choker,
while stunning is just this side of ridiculous; the long hair on top when you can
see his scalp all the way around is as charming as all get out; but obviously ... the
tail to the ass bound by his daughter's multi coloured hair elastics just screams,
"I'm cool and I don't care who knows"
Really? Should the tallest person in the fricken' store be fully decked
out in Strawberry Shortcake gear?
The humour here has nothing to do with pumpkin pie or buying furnace
filters. It has to do with (look close) the child buried under the pile of crap who
is either sound asleep or slowly asphyxiating.
I love the outfit. Seriously. Especially the Gretzky look with one side tucked in.
The topper easily is that if she clicks her heels three times she'll magically
transport back in Beeton with Toto. (Check out the ruby red slippers)
Buddy. Honestly, if you want to weed-out, I'm cool with that. I'm not terribly
judgemental that way. However, you probably could have worn a better shirt
when shopping with your 6 year son. Alli-stoned.
Dude!!! Quick!!! Your goatee's on backward!
No one likes baseball more than me. No one. But not in a million years
Do you think I'm gonna make fun of the fat guy in the "what the hell is that"
shirt? I'm not. But I'm laughing my ass off at Kevin Moon (in blue) who is unable to
look away from this train wreck.
The monkey is totally normal. The fact that it brought that chick
shopping is totally bizarre.
Needs no explanation.
Ok. A little one. This is the mad hatter meets John Lennon who
is obviously looking for Yoko in Wonderland!
Even the kid is trying to get a look at crazy
Larry the Leprechaun
The frightening part....and I mean really frightening, is that at some point
before leaving the trailer, she looked in the mirror and said, "I can pull this off".
Don't be distracted by the "not un-hot" blonde shopping at Walmart.
Allow your gaze to move to the bottom left and witness the child that
she is dragging by a leash. If you did this to a dog you'd be arrested.
Well...well...well. Santa and Mrs. Clause is just too easy. They have
obviously filled their shirts with tomatoes because no one would notice any red
stains if they broke. Oh no! Wait, they're doing a sales promo for Heinz. Yeah,
thats it!
Gotta love Alliston. Don't let spelling or grammar get in the way of your
quality fear mongering!
You may not believe this, but that IS a John Deere logo on her back in
permanent ink AND that poem is called "an ode to John Deere". She had
to have lost a bet because no lawn tractor is worth this.
The bike she (above) arrived on. That or the Goblin from Spiderman.
The Walmart Greeter...only in Alliston
I'm sorry if anyone in the league is this hairy and me making fun
of it is hurtful. But seriously. SERIOUSLY! There's no break from his
head to his elbows! He needs to be vacuumed! He uses Head and Shoulders for
body wash. He has a shag body. He can't clap because his hands Velcro
together. Honestly, I could go all day!
Nothing says "approachable" like a pistol permanently tattooed to your
chest. Its great on a 1st date too. She has pepper spray tattooed on her back
and a bear trap on her thigh. Charming.
No, its not the beer gut that is totally warping the American flag. And no its
not the stylish man purse that flies in the face of the jean shorts and 'good ol boy'
shirt. Nope, it is definitely the Russel Crowe Gladiator sandals!
Holy crap buddy, how long did it take to get them laced up ?
OMG, get the fricken' camera! Its Geddy Lee!!!!
Timmy Two Beer partied with this guy
The guy in the foreground is 'whatever'; purple Mohawks are soooo yesterday.
But the Edward Scissor Hands meets Marilyn Manson guy in the background
is looking good for his job application.
Dining out for Prom, with linens, candles, dress up clothes etc in a Walmart
parking lot is already AWESOME. Topping it off by one of these clowns sitting
in a Toronto Maple Leafs chair? Priceless.
DUDE!!!! Quick! Get the hell out of the dairy section!
No, you are!
Ok, Pink hair, black and white checkered shirt, multi coloured hand bag,
electric blue skirt, maroon nylons, black pumps. As funny as all that is, its more
hilarious that Gary Cox is standing right beside her and has no one to
make a smart ass comment to. Must have damned near killed him!
A take down at the Alliston Walmart? Must have been the last gum ball.
Ole!
Is that Danny Chiasson doing Karaoke with the Easter Bunny?
The Butter fly doors rock. But its a Cavalier son.
Did you think I was going to make fun of driving a car with a sheet metal door?
That's too low brow even for me. However, the front door riddled with
bullet holes makes me wonder a bit.
*Has duct tape EVER been more carefully applied?
If you squint, its not really a picture of a cup, its two people
staring face to face. Body art. Love it.
Creative! Duct tape wasn't enough for this guy, he used a shelving
bracket to secure his mirror! Good thinking. It'll help the resale
value too, because its "more permanent".
The thing about this area is that there are a lot of old Dutch families.
I didn't realize that wooden shoes were still in though! They've got to
weigh a ton!
City folk. Bringing the 'hood to Alliston. Word.
Trailer? No way! These are stackable, like big Lego pieces.
Irony: Wu-Tang Clan is a NYC hip-hop (RAP) band who are largely considered
to be a trend setter in the hip-hop community. My guess is the skin head
with the camouflage rifle thinks Wu-Tang is a dirty expression for certain
body parts. I think its a good guess.
Bro. You're 50. You're fit, I'll give you that, but you are not pulling off
the hip-hop gear in any way shape or form. The toque is more Relic from
the Beach Combers than it is Eminem. Just saying.
I'm down with wearing your wife's workout top. Sometimes the laundry
gets behind. It happens. But what the hell is under it??? Are you really
a Russian weight lifter?
OMG! Weird Al?
OMG, I found Waldo! He's picking his nose, but I still found him!
A seemingly normal human being. Except for the huge fox tail growing
out of his ass.
Holy Crap. Everything was fine and then a twister blew through
and knocked out my window.
Tim Sullivan?
Well, this isn't really about the people of the Alliston Walmart, its more
about the Alliston Walmart. I might be wrong, but I'm PRETTY SURE that's
not how you spell "Surveillance"
The dealer wanted $675.00 to put on a spoiler. Did it myself for $11.50
Yee-Haw!
OMG! Piero pimped his ride!
Don't be distracted by the fake Louis Vuitton hand bag. Yes, that is
a fricken' plastic bag over that child's head.
And I'm sure the people at Ford are happy that you're decided to advertise
Nope. I'm pretty sure its a beer belly.
I do realize that the Swastika is an ancient good luck symbol. You're still a
complete knuckle head. And wait until those two dudes get in front of you and
see that you aren't wearing a Montreal Canadiens hoodie.
And walking, and proper fitting clothes, and good hygiene, and having
friends, and showers, and vegetables. BUT I LOVE having a back big enough
to carry an 11 letter hate slogan without it drooping on either side. Proof that
you need to "grow into hate". (This isn't technically making fun of a big
person, its making fun of a bigot who happens to be large and on a mobie)
person, its making fun of a bigot who happens to be large and on a mobie)
Nothing to say...can't stop laughing.
OMG, its Elvis. No wait. Its Nicolas Cage. No wait. It really is Elvis!
No wait. Its just Nicolas Cage.
"That was a good old trip Bubba. Lets just stop by the Walmart on the
way home and get some salt & pepper and I'll grill us up some Bambi."
Oh Dear. Where to begin. I'm just thankful that he opted for the circa
1978 John McEnroe sweat band for his head. I don't know about you but
I get crazy sweaty at Walmart!
How did he find a shirt to match those pants? Wait. How did he get
a girl to talk to him in that outfit?
And so he did.
If the trailer on her shirt is really her impossible dream, I don't like
her odds of curing cancer, negotiating peace in the middle east or getting
the Kansas City Royals to the World Series.
I see dead people.
Ok, you are cool ALL OVER! But the shoes by "hot wheels" are
particularly stunning. There's nothing in this shot to get proportionate
height, but I'm guessing that to get into shoes that no one over 8 years old
would be caught dead in; he's got to be under 4'9".
OMG! Chong?
Of all the Walmarts in the world, the one in Alliston has two women wearing
the same snake skin capris and white t-shirts? And they are both in the same
return line. Oh, but wait. They're wearing them. How are they gonna return
them?
OMG! C3-P0?
I don't know where the baby is, but his name is Carlos.
Bro. Maybe its time to stop listening.
Hold on a second! That's a baby raccoon on that guys shoulder. I was pretty sure
that pirates were supposed to have parrots! Arrrrgggh
Tattoos? Sure, I'm down with that. Ones of murderers? I gotta think it over
Geez.
Did you think I was going to make fun of chicky-poo's scarf? Not a chance, its actually
kind of nice. I'm just trying to figure out whether that's Prince Valiant behind her or
the base player from the Ramones?
Okay, so we have two choices here. He either wore that shirt to the point of being
absolutely thread bare; OR, he bought it like that to look fashionable. I'm not sure
which is the better answer. However, one gust of wind and that thing is done!
OMG! Mother Goose???
I LOVE the NCAA basketball tournament. The fact that someone actually had the
time and design skills to build this display completely out of pop cases amazes me! Look
at the basketball hoop next to the display...its HUGE! Great effort. Oh, by the way,
"madness" has two "S"s
Anyone? Discretion continues to be the better part of valor.
OMG! Janis Joplin???
How old is that kid? Eleven? Look at him, he's a freaking giant!
Ahhhh, the Alliston Walmart. Where else where you find random acts of
square dancing?
OMG! The Hamburglar???
I ain't afraid of no ghosts!
Yo! Its time for me to pump up the volume, no problem the records revolvin',
Evil's the mixer, I'm the rap-trickster, paparazzi on the bum-rush for pictures.
Ok...seriously Flava Flav, as an equal can I get this through to you?
Oh Robbie...if Michelle catches you sun bathing on her car again, you're dead meat!
OMG! Dumbledore???
Forget the left side and look at the picture on the right. Check out Mark Doyle with
the Cheese Head hat!!! Sorry, I meant, "check out the centaur listening to Motorhead with
the cheese head hat"!!!
You know this guy works in a comic book store, right?
Ahhhh.....the Dusty Cleats' groupies.
The Center for Disease Control is just conducting a "test", there's no reason to
stop shopping.
BUT I WANT A JUICE BOX!!!!
Yeahhhhh....boyeeeee
Ummmm? Pastor from the church of the poisoned mind?
A little tough to see this one, but this shopper has a brilliant solution to that
"squirming child" problem we've all faced with shopping carts. Simply put a bottle
of bleach on the child's lap and its too heavy for them to move! I only wish I had thought
of it first.
that pirates were supposed to have parrots! Arrrrgggh
kind of nice. I'm just trying to figure out whether that's Prince Valiant behind her or
the base player from the Ramones?
absolutely thread bare; OR, he bought it like that to look fashionable. I'm not sure
which is the better answer. However, one gust of wind and that thing is done!
time and design skills to build this display completely out of pop cases amazes me! Look
at the basketball hoop next to the display...its HUGE! Great effort. Oh, by the way,
"madness" has two "S"s
square dancing?
Evil's the mixer, I'm the rap-trickster, paparazzi on the bum-rush for pictures.
Ok...seriously Flava Flav, as an equal can I get this through to you?
the Cheese Head hat!!! Sorry, I meant, "check out the centaur listening to Motorhead with
the cheese head hat"!!!
stop shopping.
"squirming child" problem we've all faced with shopping carts. Simply put a bottle
of bleach on the child's lap and its too heavy for them to move! I only wish I had thought
of it first.
What in the name of the sweet baby Jesus do they feed these children! This toddler
is the size of Art Sagert for god sake!
THE SPEECH
Everyone remembers Raise a Little Hell by Trooper, right? I think Robbie picked this one because Jim Mannell has been a disruptive force on the team since day one when he insisted on playing center field. That's of course the day we nick named him Mickey Mannell. Music is here
Raise a little Hell (Jim Mannell)
2 3 4
Its time for Mickey Mannell, time for Mickey Mannell, time for Mickey Mannell
Watch out for Mannell, watch out for Mannell, Watch out for Mannell!
Watch out for Mannell, watch out for Mannell, Watch out for Mannell!
Watch out for Mannell, watch out for Mannell, Watch out for Mannell!
If you don't like the pitch, why don't you take it?
If you want the ball in play, then hammer it!
Watch out for Mannell, watch out for Mannell, Watch out for Mannell!
Watch out for Mannell, watch out for Mannell, Watch out for Mannell!
If you don't like what your hit, why don't you outrun it?
Take some advice from Jim Mannell, and swing for the fences!
Watch out for Mannell, watch out for Mannell, Watch out for Mannell!
Watch out for Mannell, watch out for Mannell, Watch out for Mannell!
In the end it comes down to Jim's swinging
And younger men cower when they hear his name
When it feel like the Grisslies are sinking
And they are too tired to play the game
here's one guy who is going to help them
You don't have to stand up alone
'Cause he'll dig in his heels and you'll see how it feels
To Raise a little Hell of his own
Watch out for Mannell, watch out for Mannell, Watch out for Mannell!
Watch out for Mannell, watch out for Mannell, Watch out for Mannell!
If your catcher plays like an all star, why would you change it?
Mannell's got it all worked out, don't rearrange it!
Oh ohoh
THE GAME
This game was a fun one for us Grisslies because it marked Mickey Mannell night! Jim (Mickey) has tolerated our shenanigans all year and we thought it would be pretty cool to pay a tribute it to him. Of course we did so by having the other 11 guys on the team wear their BEST hawaian shirts. Mickey, of course, threw it back it back in our collective faces by go 3 for 4 and driving in 3 runs. Nice night Mick!
The game started with the Grisslies giving up a run in the top of the first as Steph Kapp damned near took my head off with grounder to 1st base. In our half of the inning the Grisslies did something we haven't done in 7 games and that was Jim "Catfish" Hunter and I both making outs in the same inning. Dave Argue started a two out rally that saw us score 2.
The defence took over at that point and the Grisslies allowed only to more runs through 5. Meanwhile we scored 20 runs to the same point!
The final in this game was 20-10 as the Rebels had a nice seven run rally of their own in the 6th. As usual Dave Argue was 4/4 with 3 runs scored and on this night he mixed in a grand slam just to keep things interesting. Mannell, Sallustio and Simard all had clutch two out hits and Catfish and I got it rolling after the first inning as we both went 3 for 4 with three runs scored. In fact....everyone not named Rob had 3 or more hits on this night!
Weird.
The Rebels and Grisslies both finished the season strong and will tough teams to play in the post season.
Well done as always lads. It was a great year, thanks.
