BONUS BLOG - We are the Cleats!

Intro

This is a true "bonus BLOG" in that I didn't know I was doing one until part way through the day.  First off, I didn't know it was The Wild that the Cleats were playing when Frank asked me to sub or I might have said no.  Just what I need ANOTHER game against The Wild! 

So, being that this is kind of last minute, the intro isn't so much a story but just something that I spend WAY too much time thinking about.  As many of you know, I'm a bit of a "language prude".  That may seem odd to some of you as my grammar is spotty, spelling atrociouse (yes I spelled it wrong on purpose) and my adept use of slang has become legendary.  However, when it comes to the spoken word, I think I hear things that others don't.  And that's okay, I rarely point it out...but I still can't stop myself from hearing it. 

A couple of examples of what I mean before I go on to my current favourite. 

People using words that don't exist such as "irregardless" (regardless does what you want irregardless to do), "anyways" (the correct word is anyway) and "brang" (brought will do just fine). 

Then there are oxymorons. These are words or phrases that are in conflict with themselves, like "calm winds", "criminal justice" or "current history".  They aren't wrong....just sort of funny. 

Now the current phraseology that is sticking out like a sore thumb to me is called "antioxymorons".  These are phrases in which two words have redundant meanings.  The big problem (for me) is that I'm hearing them ALL THE TIME and I can't escape it!

Examples?  So glad you asked, I have plenty!!!

1. back away - Really?  'back' wasn't enough?
2. young child - Which of course distinguishes from all the old children.
3. dig down -  Saves you the time wasted by digging up.
4. yell loudly -  Soft yellers bug me anyway
5. factual information -  If it isn't factual isn't it 'misinformation'?
6. ice cold  -  Obviously from the department of redundancy department.
7. gambling casino  -  Very different from the lawn mowing casinos.  ???
8. honest truth  -  If you need to reinforce the truth you're lying anyway.
9. multiple choice  -  If you have a choice doesn't that necessitate that there is more than one option?
10. gruesome murder  -  Yeah, I usually go for the cute and cuddly type murders.
11. glue stick -  Hmmmm.  What does glue do?  Stick.  Good marketing!

The Speech

Being a former Grisslie, interim Captain Rob McCarron, understands the value of a good pregame speech.  And while a good one wasn't available, he hastily threw this one together.  Click on the song name to hear the musical stylings of the Go-Go's hit, "We Got The Beat".  By the way, Robbie has a lovely voice!

They Watch the 'Cleats

See the people walking down the street
They have to stop and wonder at our feat
They are hooked and they don’t wanna go
And now they’re clapping in time

As they watch the ‘Cleats
We are the ‘Cleats
Yeah
We are the ‘Cleats!

See Rob Legault, he’s looking so cool
They call him Tom, Steve and Rob, he’s got ‘em all fooled
Then you got Peters fielding out of his mind
And Joseph’s hitting on a line

As they watch the ‘Cleats
We are the ‘Cleats
Yeah
We are the ‘Cleats!

Go-Go McCarron give us a chance
Do the Pully and put us in a trance
Do the Dane and hit it to the fence
That's when we fall in line

As they watch the ‘Cleats
We are the ‘Cleats
Yeah
We are the ‘Cleats!

JoBu is in the act, Bundi on attack
Curtis is swinging what looks like an illegal bat
Paul and John collide
There’s no Ringo or George to be found

As they watch the ‘Cleats
We are the ‘Cleats
Yeah
We are the ‘Cleats!


The Game

So, in all honestly, I've been hearing Dusty Cleats smack for most of the season.  A 2-12 record is tough to take for sure.  But I look at the roster and I see good names, good players, good bats, good 'D' and I can't figure what the problem is.  The conversation in the clubhouse for other teams is generally making fun of the Cleats (sorry, if it wasn't you, then it would be someone else, and you know that!) and then it invariably ends with, "but they actually have a good team, they'll come around". 

If its any consolation, while 14th place sucks you're two wins from being tied for 10th!!!

I'll get to the actual game in a moment, but as a sub, here is what I saw from the Dusty Cleats last and remember that this is simply one person's point of view.  

The infield combo of Scott (SS) and Curtis (2B) has potential to be really good.  It was the first time that they had played together in those positions so it was a little awkward, but they both have very obvious ball sense and balls that 'should' have been stopped and kept on the infield were.  The timing on the short throws to the bag will come. 

Paul looked really comfortable in right field as did Bob (or Steve, or Rob, or Tom, does anyone actually know his name?) in left.  Paul got burned by a shot over his head that I think was pretty much uncatchable no matter who was out there. 

Beyond that, everyone else was pretty much in their regular positions and overall the team seemed really comfortable defensively.  By my count, we probably gave away 4 free outs in the game (plays that could or should have been made) which I would say is below average for the league.  But defense wasn't the problem; the sticks were!!!

There are some sweet swingers on the Cleats.  Cliff, Rob, Johnny T.  Curtis made good contact as did Bob and Paul had the most solid hit I've seen him have so far this year (remember that stroke Pauly, its a keeper).  I've heard it said that the Dusty Cleats are snake bit and last night was evidence of that.  There were numerous hard hit balls that left the bat looking like a hit but found a fielder standing in the perfect position to make a play.  Added to that, Scott, Cliff and Brad are all hurting and are at varying levels of "unable to run".  So the fielders choices that we hit into were many, and the chances to beat out an infield hit were few. 

The game itself did not start well.  The first three Wild players reached and the bases were loaded with none out.  Then Bob (P.) got an out at the plate on a comebacker and Curtis got an out on an infield fly and we were suddenly an out away from getting out of the mess.  However, a single scored 2 runs and another single reloaded the bases.  A fly out then got us out of the inning and all in all, it was a pretty good escape act. 

The Cleats went 3 up and 3 down in the first. 

No runs were scored in the 2nd inning and the Wild were shut out in the third as well.  The 3rd was big for the Dusty Cleats because we had our first base runner !!!  Sadly, two fielders choices later, we were back in the field. 

The Wild scored 3 in the fourth and were up 5 nothing in a game that moving along quickly. 

The game was 8-0 heading to the 7th inning when the Wild pushed across their final two runs to make it a ten nothing shutout.  But the Cleats came to bat in the 7th was a purpose. 

And we made it interesting!

The score sheet shows that we scored 4 in the seventh, but it I really thought that it was more like six.  Obviously I was wrong, and it didn't really matter because we needed 4 AND 6 to even get a tie!  The best moment for me was with runners on the corners and two out and down to his last strike, Paul smoked a ball over short to keep the rally going. 

It was a good game overall and lots of fun to play with those guys.  If the Cleats can get healthy for September they have the defense and the bats to make some noise!

GAME 16 - Radar's Glove

Poll
Well the results are in from the most recent poll and I have to say that I am again very surprised with how it turned out.  I'm not surprised in who won necessarily, but I'm pretty shocked by the distribution of votes!  The question posed was, "IF YOU HAD TO PICK TODAY, WHO WOULD BE YOUR ODDS ON FAVOURITE TO WIN THE REGULAR SEASON?"

Hurtin' Units         69%
Brew Jays              7%
Lucky Stiffs            0%
Banshees              15%
The Wild                7%

I've been asked a few times if you can vote more than once, the answer is yes, theoretically.  If you went to The BLOG site from a multitude of different PCs you could vote from all of them.  I don't see any evidence of that, just the normal readership.

So, when this went up, the teams listed above were in that exact order in the standings.   What is interesting, if not completely bizarre, is that the Brew Jays are only expected by one person to catch the Units and same for the 5th place Wild; while no one thinks the Lucky Stiffs can do it and 2 people think the Banshees have a legitimate shot!  Considering the standings going into the week, Mikey and JT might want to start getting the playoff pitching rotation ready!

The Intro

To totally abuse a Monty Python line, "and now for something completely different..."   In recent weeks we have had a couple of serious editions on HTKP and a follow up on the all-star game (in which I shockingly didn't play, (I'm over it, really, I'm just saying)). We've had some interesting revelations with Chuck Cragg, Paul Piellusch and Ingo Bartens.  We've also delved into the home towns of your favourite Grisslies.  So while we try to uncover hidden baseball cards of the Grisslies from the 1960's and 70's, this seemed like a good time to unveil statements that each of our Grisslie players have made over the years through lapel buttons! 

I know, its kinda random.   

Work with me on this one, the odd one might be funny:

Simon

After a summer of touring as a Roadie with The Parachute Club and learning all the dance steps to "Rise Up", he got accepted to Lake Head university and had to bail on the 'down East' leg of the tour.  Simon is still haunted by the sound of Lorraine Segatto's voice when he tunes in CHAY on the drive to cottage country, "This tightrope's gotta learn how to bend, We're makin' new plans, Gonna start it again..."

 

Rob

This one is pretty much exactly how it sounds.  Rob was under the mistaken impression that child proofing had to do with barricading one's self in his room.  Chris was 11 months old before Sue got him out.

Dave

Unknown to many, Dave Argue was the Leader of the Young Progressive Conservative Party in Forget Saskatchewan.  The button was purchased by a young Mr. Argue wearing a blue sports coat, white shirt and blue tie as a joke (sorry, the button purchase was a joke, not the clothes).  However when a picture of the transaction showed up in the Forget Gazette, the Conservatives lost to the liberals in a landslide as the whole town came out to vote.  The final tally was 7 votes to 1. 

Greg

Mental health is not something we joke around about here, so don't go getting offended.   This button was worn by Greg in error.  You see, Greg's best friend in high school was Norvil Barrett and he had the COOLEST pair of pointed-toe, suede, Peter-Pan getaway boots that you ever saw!  The chicks dug them and Norvil always used to wear them to the high school dances and was flocked by teen aged girls.  Greg, never one to miss an opportunity; saved his money from straightening the pins at the bowling alley and bought himself a second hand pair of similar boots.  He also bought the button thinking it said "Sometimes I pretend to be Norvil".  He blames the eye. (the bowling pins were a little off center too) 

Danny

The editors tried to hold this back thinking it was a little off-side, but there is a story here and while its not 100% PETA friendly, its not as bad as the button sounds.  Seriously!  It turns out Danny lived across the street from a bully that used to terrorize him growing up.  One day after dealing with years of abuse, stolen lunch money and noogies, Danny decided to fight back.  He stole the boy's dog Lucky (later acknowledging to a Judge that this was the wrong thing to do) and then wore the pin you see above to school.  The bully was beside himself.  Danny confronted him in front of a group of the toughest kids in the cafeteria and offered him his dog back if promised to never bother him again and never come in his yard.  The bully quickly and gratefully agreed.  So the bully, true to his word stayed in his own yard while Danny went across the street and opened his garage door releasing Lucky.  You should have seen the face of the bully light up when he saw Lucky spring out of the garage!  Lucky, seeing the bully, let out a YELP and sprinted for him!  Sadly, Lucky was run over by a car and killed running across the street.   

Brett

Brett lived across the street from a kid that he used to terrorize.  One day Brett came home and found his dog Lucky missing and the kid across the street wearing a button saying that he'd killed his dog.  Being confronted by this kid in front of his friends in the cafeteria, Brett agreed to never bother him again and never come in his yard if the kid gave him his dog Lucky back.  True to his word, Brett stayed in his own yard while the kid opened the garage door and let Lucky out.  You should have seen Brett's face light up when he saw Lucky spring out of the garage!  Lucky, seeing Brett, let out a YELP and sprinted for him!  Sadly, Lucky was run over by a car and killed running across the street.  With Lucky dead, the deal was off, so Brett beat the hell out of the kid across the street.  

Cal

Now don't go thinking this an age thing, because that would just be mean!  Cal is well known in the Seance community as a communicator with the "beyond".  Cal has channeled Houdini, Mae West, Winston Churchill and Babe Ruth.  Fascinating stuff!!!  I asked Cal once why people who 'claim' to channel spirits always say they talk to someone famous?  How come no one ever talks to 'Bob the plumber' or 'Guido the barber' or Sally from down the street that passed on a few years ago?  Cal and I don't talk much anymore.

Tim

I think the operative word would have been "knew" as opposed to "knows". While Timmy looks like a rookie on the field, he clearly has a past.  Some say he took the 'grace' out of Graceland.  Others say his "Glove is Tender". 

Piero

Purchased online last week.  You can only get these in boxes of 5000 so its quite an investment.  This might not be the best time to bring up that I was only joking about the whole Piero for MVP thing. 

Ingofische

Duh, go figure

Doug

For those of you offended by this pin, a) I apologize, b) I'm thankful that I didn't use the one of the pope dressed like the Emporer from Star Wars c) I'm also thankful that I talked myself out of 'I walk on water' one because that FOR SURE would have been in poor taste.  Anyway, not much story here, the Jays traded Tony Fernandez and Fred McGriff to the Padres for Joe Carter and Roberto Alomor and a year later Fernandez was traded to Pittsburgh...hence, "Pittsburgh Sucks".  Interestingly, 4 million of these buttons sold worldwide, 3.8 million in Pittsburgh.   

Radar

So, for those of you following all the back strories at home, this goes back to Radar's Austrailian whichcraft roots.  Like Piero he decided order buttons online.  In Radar's case he was buying for a big family reunion that hundreds of family members would be teleporting in for and he had to buy a whole whack of them.  To Kevin's shagrin, they turned out not to be the kind of button that you pin on but the kind that you push (like the "easy button").  You'd have thought that he could have just conjured them up anyway.  

The Speech
All I have to say about this speech is WHAT TOOK SO LONG!!!  I mean, "Radar's Glove"?  Was there ever a more perfect fit?  Apologies to nearly famous Dutch band Golden Earring.  The only link I could find includes lyrics which probably isn't too bad in this case as its a tougher tune.  Have fun!!!

Radar's Glove

He's been playin' all night, playing good "d", back on one heel.

There's a voice in his head that drives how he feels.

It's his captain callin', says I need you here

And we’re into the fourth and he’s shifting gear

Cam Clark is hot and he's hitting it deep in the clutch.

But Boston tracks the shot comin' in from above

We don't need no replay at all

We've got a thing that's called Radar's Glove

There's the ball in the air and it found….Radar's Glove

The radio's playing some forgotten song

John Fogerty's "Center field"

The position's got him hypnotized

And he’s running into another sunset

And yet he goes out, when I’m sure he’s had enough

There’s another liner, comin' in from above

We don't need no replay at all

We've got a thing that's called Radar's Glove

There's the ball in the air and it found….Radar's Glove

He’s got tons of speed, he’s almost there

Gotta keep cool now, track the ball with care

Last few steps now, here he goes

And the line drive then falls down super slow

And the radio played that forgotten song

Don Henley's "Boy's of Summer"

The position's got him hypnotized

And he’s running into another sunset

Andy Gee was traded but he’s back with the club,

Kevin tracks the shot comin' in from above

We don't need no replay at all

We've got a thing that's called Radar's Glove

We got a line in the sky

We got a thing that's called Radar’s Glove

We got a thing that's called......Radar’s Glove

The Game

In succession we’ve played the 1st, 2nd and 3rd place team. We’ve lost in succession by 5, 3 and 1 run. God help the 4th place team!

Last night’s game was great, despite rumours to the contrary. The final score was 9-8, but I honestly don’t know how the Stiffs scored 9 because our defence seemed really crisp!

Our hitting was all bunched at the top of the order which is a little unusual for us, we’re typically more spread out but we rarely get a string of hits in an inning. Last night we got a string of hits by 5 or 6 guys every 3rd inning.

It was a different way to get there, but the same result, sadly.

Sorry for the short game report, but Chris Ross needed some help moving some pieces of amber coloured glass last night and Mike Olliffe and I gladly offered to help. It was more lifting than I counted on and I have to admit that I’m a tiny bit tired this morning.

Oh, note to Paul Gyori: Don’t think for a minute that I forgot ANYTHING...your day is coming my friend, your day is coming.

Out for now, but there may be an update by week’s end; please, tip your waiters and try the ham.

DD

GAME 15 - Good Riddance (time of your life)

BLOG ADDENDA

Normally, once The BLOG is posted, that's "all she wrote".  However the numerous trade requests demanded a response from the Captains and we take that stuff seriously!!!  An open letter from Rob and Doug to The Grisslies:

Dear team:

Rob and I have been working on a complicated 14 team multi-player deal for the balance of the day. We should have done this together, but it’s so hard to get hold of Randy Hipken (who is strongly considering getting a land line) that we had to work independently.


As it turns out, and this was really emotionally tough to do, we were able to move Tim to the Lucky Stiffs for Andy Gee and a dozen slightly scuffed balls.

Then being suddenly deep a pitching we moved Andy to the Red Dogs for the Down Town Billy Brown.

But even DTBB can’t take the starting catching job from our MVP, so we sent Billy to the Rusty Rebels for Roger Burton.

Okay, we totally forgot about Rogers sliced up thumb and we had to get rid of him before the physical so we quickly packed him and one of the balls out of the box from the Luck Stiffs to the Wild for Chuck Cragg.

What seemed like a good deal initially, quickly turned sour when Cragg failed to report and demanded a trade, so we sent him to Torn Ligaments for Luc Schryer and a bag of ear plugs.

Realizing we were already deep in the outfield, we packaged Luc and the earplugs (they go where he goes) to the Hurtin’ Units for Jens Lepa.

Chris Ross refused to sanction the trade and gave us 11 minutes to either move him or he’d reverse it. Jens was quickly moved to the Dusty Cleats for Paul Hargreaves.

This was approved, but some attitude issues came up during our initial meeting with Paul so we traded him and another one of the scuffed balls from the Lucky Stiffs to the Hot Tub Woody’s for Steve Wynnyk.

That gave us Steve and six other guys who can play second base so we put Steve on Waivers. He was claimed by the Dog Catchers and we reclaimed him.  However the Dog Catchers offered us Murray Saunders and two blank lineup sheets as compensation for the rights to Wynnyk. Obvioulsy, we accepted.

With Radar, Dave, Danny and Cal all able to center field we quickly moved Murray to Dodge City for Cliff Stacey.

Not realizing the league by-law on the number of East Coaster that one team can have, we were forced to move Cliff to the Dislocated Joints for Dave Muirhead and a rain coat. Rob called me to tell me the news about of the latest deal and I said “Dave? I thought we were going after JERRY Muirhead, I already have another team that want’s him but can’t work a trade with Bo!”.

So we traded Dave Muirhead to the Brew Jays for Jerry Muirhead and now having Jerry we immediately flipped him for Jim Mannell and a pitcher (the kind you drink).

Finally done, we met with Jim and drank the pitcher and Jim expressed how happy he was to be a Grisslie. As we discussed the strengths and weaknesses of the team, it came up that the only thing we were really missing was better team speed. So Rob got up and called Clayton Campbell and traded Jim Mannell for Tim Osmond.

After an exceptionally busy day, we’ve greatly improved our team speed, acquired 10 slightly scuffed balls, two blank line up sheets and a rain coat.

That’s why we’re captains.  Go Grisslies!!

 Poll Info


Before we get into this edition of The BLOG, lets look at the results of the last poll, shall we? The question posed was, "What was your favourite part of the HTKP Tournament?". Here are the final results:

The Pig Roast 5%
The All Star Game 52%
Live Music 42%
The Alumni Game 4%
The Beer Garden 26%

Now, the first question is, why doesn't it add up to 100%. The reason is that this particular vote was setup so that people could make 2 picks. The second question is how many people responded, and the answer is 19. While that isn't a huge number, its probably a descent sample size.

This was being absolutely positive that the beer garden would win and the curiosity was to see what would finish second. Shockingly, the all-star game and the live music both beat out the beer garden! Maybe all the voters thought the beer was a 'given' so they better vote for what they liked to do WITH beer which is obviously listening to music and watching good quality baseball! Hopefully we can use this bit of informal data for next year's HTKP weekend!
INTRO

We're more than half way through the season now and as promised I wanted to do a mid season report card.  To be completely candid here, Rob and I have been arguing about doing this for several weeks.  I completely understand where Rob is coming from on this, because he doesn't want me to give an unfair advantage to other teams by revealing our team's straight and weaknesses. 

While I understand that, its still a fun league, right?  No one would take advantage of another team willingness to do a fair and honest evaluation would they?  I just don't see it.  Besides, I don't think players on other teams actually read The BLOG anyway, so what is the real harm here?  None.

So here is the breakdown.

Dave Argue – He’s played at third base, short stop and center field. Failure is a word we don’t just “throw around”, but this may be an exception. If I were playing against the Grisslies, I'd instruct my hitters to "hit it to Dave", you can’t really go wrong with that strategy. Also, try to hit it, if at all possible, to his glove side, he’s less sure on that side due to the eye issues. Further, his arm is pretty much gone. If you hit a routine two hopper to Dave, don’t knock yourself out going to first base. Save your energy to go 1st to 3rd on the next hit.
C-

Danny - The season long strategy of hitting to the off-field is finally starting to pay off with solid hits to the left-center gap for extra bases. We’re seeing that reflected in his average which keeps going up and up and up! If you want to get him out, I would pitch him middle-in, he tends to hit a lazy fly ball to center. His throwing arm is coming around, or maybe I’m just getting accustomed to that high looping throw. If you have near average speed, I would challenge this arm ALL DAY!
B+

Brett - insists on playing short stop which is a bit of a liability. We spend a lot of time trying to convince him that he's hurt so he'll spend a few innings per game at 1st base. When he manages to stay awake at first, it doesn’t hurt us nearly as much. Then of course that puts Dave at short stop and we have pray for balls being hit to his right. Damned if you do; damned if you don’t. There’s been some questions around the league about how much and how quickly he’s bulked up, but I don’t think there’s anything to it.
D

Calvin - Great wheels but a really weak glove, an easy target for opposing hitters. Instead of the funky shorts and hat, he should just wear a bulls-eye! The more directly you hit it to him, the better the odds of a hit for your team. Strictly a singles hitter. You may as well put all four outfielders in dead centre field a couple of feet apart.
C+

Kevin - leads the team with 7 home runs, one every other game. The average is down a little bit, but with that kind of power, who cares! He sat out last game in protest of the home run hitting contest being canceled at the HTKP tournament, so next game should be a 2 dinger affair! (Note to self: Make sure we bring extra balls).
A-

Simon - Speed kills. Enough said.
A

Doug - Even though teams continue to play him to pull, he consistently and pig headedly yanks the ball hard between 3rd and short. Personally I would have the second baseman on the shortstop side of second base, go with 3 outfielders in left and put the right fielder in shallow center. Then I'd pitch him away and watch him dribble one to 3rd when he tries to pull it. But hey, that's me.
C+

Ingo - You don't even really need an outfield with Ingo at bat. He ALWAYS hits it on the ground; the problem is it could go anywhere. I would consider bringing in my left fielder and having 5 across the infield. I would probably also have my 3 outfielders come to the edge of the grass just in case one of Ingo’s predictable ground balls sneak through. Maybe I’m being unfair, but I would have thought that a former major leaguer would have a little more game.
D-

Rob - This one is almost too easy. Rob has a mental block with throwing a 3rd strike. When he gets two strikes on you, you've got him where you want him. If I was desperate for base runners, I tell my team to swing and miss on purpose twice and then wait for the walk, because you KNOW it’s coming! At least he gets the odd single!
C-

Tim – Probably the Rookie of the year for the league this year. Don’t let the batting average throw you off. When people go over the wall to bring back what would have been multiple home runs at Coventry; well…that can get in your head. Like every rookie, he’s got a couple of warts. One is that he’s hard to get along with. A bit of a primadona to be sure, but when you’re THAT good, who’s gonna complain???? The second is the lack of hustle. Rumour has it that the guys on the bench call him “1st gear Timmy”.
A-

Greg – Greg?…Greg?…Greg?…hmmm…tough to recall. Oh, THAT Greg! I always thought his name was Claude Rains (he played the invisible man, work with me people). From what I hear Greg is quite athletic, fairly tall and has very nice hair. Not Starsky nice, but you know what I mean. Oh yeah, NEVER run on his arm. EVER!!! I saw one game where his throw actually tore the glove off of the cutoff man.
D

Piero – M-V-P; M-V-P; M-V-P; M-V-P…obviously he is getting robbed statistically because I can’t remember the last time he didn’t go 3 for 4. Actually he wouldn’t be hitting nearly that well if guys would just go back to the fence and wait for the ball. Everything is warning track with him. Also fields flawlessly at the most important defensive position on the diamond!
A+

The SPEECH

An interesting choice by Mr. Farah this evening.  Its a simple song with a very simple message.  The message, of course, is that these games don't count (we knew that), that its all about fun (we knew that), staying healthy (knew that too) and winning in September (that part is new!).   After a horrible May, a so-so June and a July that has looked like a Raptors playoff drive; rumour has it that August will be the month of The Grisslies!  You heard it here first!!!

Everyone knows this song!!!  Click on the title for the music.

Good Riddance,

More commonly known as

Time of Your Life by Greenday

Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road
The league grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go
So make the best of this test, and don't ask why
It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time

It's something unpredictable, but its only practise, right?
The playoffs will be the time of your life.

So take the photographs, and still frames on the BLOG
Heal the hammys and bruises they'll be better in good time
Wins and loses really don't matter in July
For what it's worth its in September that we'll really try

It's something unpredictable, but its only practise, right?
The playoffs will be the time of your life.

The Game

Sure.  It looks easy from the outside. You look at me and you see, good looking, charming, self assured.  Sure, ladies love me, girls adore me, I mean even the ones who never saw like, the way that I rhyme at a show, the reason why man?  I don't know!

But setting that aside, even I am human.  We lost to the Brew Jays last night by a 9-6 count and I can trace(y) the difference to me. 

An easy ground ball missed. 

Circling the bases on fly ball with one out. 

Not having a coach at 1st that ended up costing us an out. 

Going 3 for 3 but forcing our a runner twice. 

Not bringing orange slices for the 4th inning stretch.

Playing an Carpenters song to inspire the team before the game. 

If I touched it last night it went BAD!  The game started in what has become our fashion lately with Rob, me (legitimately) and Dave all reaching in the first inning and all of us scoring on a succession of hits. A three nothing lead after a half inning against the second place team in the league. 

We made up for that lead by giving up 4 in the bottom of the 1st and from there on (obviously) were outscored 5-3 for the balance of the game. 

We certainly had our shots though. Three critical base running errors that resulted in outs hurt.  A handful of plays that should have been made but weren't were at least as costly. 

For the first half of the season we started brutally and chipped away to make it close.  Now we seem to start well but stumble. 

Let me say it again just for the record.  We're close!!!

Wins are coming, I think Tuesday. 

All other pages will but updated by noon tomorrow, the three stars, grisslie radio...etc...etc...etc...

Still looking for help for BLOGs 21 & 22.  After reading today's you might understand why!

Cheers and good luck to those who are tournamenting this weekend.

DD  (ps. if its troubling you, the "ladies love me girls adore me" line from above is from It Takes Two by Rob Base and DJ Easy Rock - I know it was Killing Simon)

GAME 14 - Everybody Was Kung Fu Swinging!

Intro


I have Rob McCarron to thank for this edition.  He planted the idea over the weekend and it took awhile to get going, but here we are.  If you don't like this one, Rob is a tall blond guy with a white truck.  Complain to him.   

So last week we did the history lesson with Ingo's background. Considering that I've heard back from lots of people about that one (not Ingo of course) I think it was reasonably successful. 

I thought that this week, just to mix things up a bit, we would do a little geography lesson. Now I know that Jeff Shulze reads the BLOG regularly, so I don't want to be insulting to our American brethren, but its a well known fact that Canadians are fairly geographically astute. Or maybe you THOUGHT we were before reading this edition!

Canada has some really unique town names.  There are many that you've heard of over the years, have become part of our culture and we don't really think of them as unusual anymore.  We don't bat an eye at town names like, Squamish, Yellowknike, Porcupine, Wawa, Flin Flon, Kamloops and Moose Jaw; but if you think about them for a second, you have to admit that they are kinda odd.

Then you have another group of towns that are unusual, and you probably haven't heard of, but it doesn't take you long to resolve it in your head and say, "okay, I get how they came up with that one."  Towns like, Foxtrap, Yankeetown, Beaver Dam, Fruitland, Snowball, Drink Water, and Little Black Bear are a little funny but you arrive at the origin pretty quickly. 

Then we have the truly bizarre.  Strangely, many of the 2010 Grisslies are in some way affiliated with these odd town names. 

Take Brett Mabee and his association with the Rotary club of Climax Saskatchewan.  He joined inadvertently when he thought he was joining a fan club for the band Klymaxx.  Yeah, Brett fell in love with their hit song "I Miss You" (who didn't) and having all the posters, the fan club was simply the next logical step. 

When Simon Smith's family emigrated to Canada (from parts unknown, I'm still researching that one), they didn't come straight to Ontario.  They first landed in Montreal and were shuttled off of Dorking BC which is just outside of Surrey.  The town of Dorking doesn't need any help from me in the jokes department, they do it all themselves.  I think my favourite would be the DISCOVER DORKING website, closely followed by the DORKING DIRECTORY.  Simon's family's stay was fairly short in Dorking but in their brief time there they established the Dorking Breeders Club, which in my mind is a bit of a redundant name.

Then we have Sober Island, Nova Scotia.  Not surprising, no Grisslie has ever been there! 

Its seems that most everyone in town is from somewhere else.  That makes Tottenham a lot like Vegas, except for the nightlife, weather, gambling, shows, Elvis impersonators and movies made about it.  Otherwise, though; eerily similar!  Two games into the season,  I'm sitting across from Dave Argue in the Clubhouse and I ask, "So Dave, where are you originally from?".  Dave takes a sip of his root beer and grunts, "Forget".  I'm thinking, "no wonder they call him Argue".  

Cal Steeves, who thankfully and finally returned from the strained hamstring, is an East coaster.  His family is from Spread Eagle Newfoundland which isn't the funny part.  The hysterical part is that Spread Eagle is right by Conception Bay and has a beautiful view of the Dildo Arm skyline.  Welcome back Cal!  Too bad the grooming business didn't work out, but its probably for the best. 

The foray into witchcraft by Kevin Boston is well known and documented in a previous edition of The BLOG (<=== everyone knows that when the text is another colour that you can click it and it takes you somewhere...right? Seriously, Man From Glad, you knew that right?).  As I was saying, Radar comes by this whole witchcraft thing quite honestly.  When his parents first discovered his talent for wizardry, they shipped him out every summer to Witch Bay Camp which is about 30 mins south of Kenora.  For those of you who really don't know Ontario to well, Kenora (which is in our Province) is 1,923 KM from Tottenham; Jacksonville Florida is 1,890 KM away.  They learned many useful skills there like turning Toads into Frogs, making air COMPLETELY disappear, turning Donkeys into Mules and mastering the Wingardium Leviosa (pronounced Lev-E-O-sA; not Lev-E-O-suh) spell that can make birds actually fly!!!  Radar's parents thought that camp was worth every nickle! 

After game five this year, I'm sitting next to Dave Argue in the Clubhouse again.  It had recently been pointed out to me that 'Argue' is in fact his REAL name and not a nickname.  Again I ask, "So Dave, where are you originally from?"  He takes a long pull from his ginger ale with two slices of fresh lime and says, "Forget".  Now I'm thinking, "it might not be a nickname, but does it ever fit!".  

When Tim Osmond's family was finally booted out of Utah (let's see if anyone gets that one), they flew up to Alberta and landed in ......wait for it......VULCAN!!!  Ever since, Tim has been obsessed with everything Vulcan.  He can do the Mind Melt (G...R...E...A...T   P...A...I...N...), the nerve pinch and can accurately calculate the odds of us coming back in any single game.  Its amazing.  Of course, the fact that he calls Rob and I "captain" all the time, refers to scoring a run as "beaming up", and a strike is "setting the phaser on stun" is a little odd.  But what the heck.  He's a rookie. 

Speaking of Rob (I swore I wouldn't tell this), his family is also from Quebec, well...they were after the Lebanon years anyway.  Rob's family was sent by the Quebec government to Saint Louis, Quebec.  Never heard of it?  Me neither.  By the time Rob left it was called Saint Louis du Ha! Ha!  As you can see by the Canada Post sign, the exclamation marks are now actually part of the town name!  Way to be a positive influence on the Quebecois culture Rob!

Game 9.  Back in the Clubhouse.  Sitting with Dave Argue.  There is a lull in the conversation and I reluctantly ask, "So Dave, where are you originally from?"  Dave picks up his Cranberry cocktail with a splash of orange juice and says, "Forget".  I vow to never ask again. 

The Del Greco's are obviously a little bit Italian.  Okay, a lot.  But when they first left Italy, they settled in a small German town before coming to Canada and re-integrating themselves into their Italian culture in Woodabridge.  So, when you hear us call Piero a Wanker, stop thinking that it means ANYTHING bad!!!  You guys are just being mean. 

Everyone of course knows Danny is an East Coaster, but did you know his home town?  Danny gets really defensive about this because the town had something to do with a rabbit farm they had there.  Anyway he's from Shag Harbour and I really don't see what the issue is coming from a place named after a type of carpet?  His defensiveness MAY have something to do with the UFO incident.  Hard to say, but I think he really needs to let it go.  Maybe Danny and Timmy 'two-beer' can have some kind of ET convention?  

 Greg Tracey actually came straight to Tottenham.  His family did not.  They landed in a small town in Minnesota and despite it being "a great place to live", they high tailed it out of there.

 And then we have Ingofische who has taken recent abuse.  I'm sure that it comes as no surprise that Ingo's family settled in Ingoldsby which we learned last week is some derivative of the "ruling god" of Germanic / Danish legend.  (I love it when a plan comes together!)

I break my vow.  Not that vow.  The Dave Argue one from before.  Game 12, Dave and I are the last two in the Clubhouse and I brace myself and say, "So Dave, where are you from Originally?".   He purposefully picks up his Shirley Temple, gripping it harder than he should.  He leans into the straw and takes a long, long pull.  he puts down the drink firmly and a little to loudly and a little too sharply and at the same as me, says "Forget".
 
I snap. 
 
Doug:  "Dave, what's your problem, I'm only trying to be friendly and find our where you're from". 

Dave:  "And what have I told you?"

Doug:  "Forget, Forget, Forget, Forget.  I feel like Costello and you're Abbott.  Who's on first.  What's on 2nd, I dunno's on 3rd. Give me a break man!"

Dave:  "I come from Forget, Saskatchewan".

Doug:  "Oh....How about those Roughriders, huh?  Go Green!!!"

The Speech

Rob's message was pretty short and sweet last night.  "You hit the ball, you catch the ball, you throw throw the ball".  "Stop thinking, it only hurts the team".  The message being this, we play pretty well when we get into the flow of the game, but we "think" too much early on instead of letting the game to come to us.  Actually, Rob said a few other things that I think would be best kept to the Grisslies for now, but the above kind of caplusizes things.

That being said, Robbie pulled out his portable 8-track player, took out the Johnny Cash tape and fast as lightening, threw in a well worn Carl Douglas cartridge, started swaying and the people in the stands started with the oh, oh, oh, oh.....

Click on the title below to hear the music.

Kung Fu Swinging

Oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh
Oh, oh, oh, oh

Everybody was for Kung Fu swinging
Those bats were fast as lightning
In fact it was a little bit frightening
But we swung with expert timing

They were funky Grissle men from funky Tottenham
They were driving balls up and they were knocking them down
It's an ancient baseball art and everybody knew their part
From a single to a gapper, but swinging for a homer

Everybody was Kung Fu swinging
Those bats were fast as lightning
In fact it was a little bit frightening
But we swung with expert timing

There was funky Dave Argue and little Timmy O.
He said here comes the Hurtin' Units, lets get it on
We took a bow and made a stand, bats swinging at our command
The sudden motion had the Units trip, around the bases the Grisslies skipped

Everybody was Kung Fu swinging
Those bats were fast as lightning
In fact it was a little bit frightening
But we swung with expert timing

Olliffe and JT were a jumbled mass of nerves
It seemed like Jens and Dickson were looking for reserves
Tonight the Grisslies were strong as steel, and the Units were back on their heels
Tonight we pull back the curtain, and its the Units that will be hurtin'

The GAME

Is it just me or is everyone getting sick of the "we played pretty well" line?

Well, we played pretty well. 

I think our fatal error was not having Rob give the speech between every inning, because it sure worked in the first!  The Grisslies came out with the bats pounding and for the third game in a row Rob, Doug & Dave started out with successive hits.  The difference was that it didn't stop there.  The team batted around in the first inning with Rob and Doug both collecting second hits and we rolled a 6!

That may not seem like a lot to the rest

The Units played a sound game and chiped away where they could and put together two big offensive innings.  The final score was 15-10. 

There's no shame in losing to a 1st place team and keeping it close tells me that we're just about ready to break out of this.

Amost.  Stay tuned.

We have the second place team (the Brew Jays) on Thursday night. Is that the day our luck turns?

Until Thursday....Out.

GAME 13 - Making Good Decisions

THE INTRO

Alternate title:  In go-d We Trust.

Ingo Bartens was a Grisslie last year and this.  I took a few little good natured jabs at him last year, but really, there isn't a heck of lot to pick on him about.  Plus there is the fact that he thinks that the Internet is an international spy agency, so its not like he'll EVER read what I write.

The amount of research that went into finding ANYTHING on Ingo was outrageous.  Its a lot easier when people give me a story that I can run with and maybe enhance a little.  This one sadly, is all true. 

Ingo (I'm sure you've all wondered this) is a German name.  Well sort of.  Ingo is usually only 'part' of a name.  The "ING" part is actually a reference to an ancient god.  I read tons on this but I'll try to summarize.  The Danes (Denmark) and the Angles and Jutes (Germany) shared a common ancestry and shared the same general territory although they were largely nomadic people.  In general they were sea faring people who lived off of the rugged North Sea.  Got it?  Their common god was Ing.

Now Ing or Ingo usually has a suffix, like Ingold, (Ruling god), Ingolf (Wolf god), Ingomar (Famous god) or Ingoblad (Courageous god).

And there ends today's history lesson.

What I was able to discover about OUR Ingo is that his full name is actually Ingofische, which translated literally from the ancient Germanic-Jutish means "god of fishing".  So his name is a real heritage thing.  And I mean thousands of years heritage, a throwback to a nomadic age when people had to fight for survival against the Vikings and Norse to get their share of good eats from the North Sea. 

I think the cool part is that Ingofische lives the name too.  He's long been know as an avid fisherman.  People often ask Ingofische where he made his fortune.  While he's a little too shy to admit it, Ingofische was able to retire and dedicate himself to the oldtimers league after making, designing and marketing a series of clever fishing novelty items which are pictured below:

The very life like "Drinking Bass", wine bottle holder.

The, always in style, flailing fish mailbox.

Every woman's dream, the spawning salmon comforter.

Yes, Ingofische has done well, and largely he's done it by being true to his name.  And you know what, his truck was pretty cool to.  "Was" is unfortunately the operative word for the truck, because Ingofische bought a new boat with his royalty money.  For years Ingofische had an old aluminum row boat that he never had any trouble launching.  The new boat however was decidedly bigger and needed to be in a great deal more water before it could be released.

Now our Ingofische is a clever man and he made sure to read up on the depth requirements and degree of entry for the boat before giving it a try.  But he was confident and damn-it he came from thousands of years of sea faring stock.  If anyone could handle a solo boat launch, it was Ingofische.

  Yeah, that's Ingo at the back of the boat

THE SPEECH

Rob is drained.  Back to back nights performing and doing lyrics can take a lot out of a guy!  The good news is that no matter how much work there is, no matter how difficult or demanding the task, he is ALWAYS there to deliver 100% effort.  Today Robbie reworked REMs "Losing my Religion".  I think I like Rob's version much better.  Rob sang this as an Ingofische tribute!

Click the song title to hear the tune.  (for those of you that don't know this; and I found a least one of you at the tournament on the weekend....its easiest if you right click on the song title and select 'open in another window' from the menu.  That way you'll hear the song but still have the BLOG open to read or sing along.  I know most of you sing).

Making Good Decisions

The outfield is bigger

It's bigger than you

And you are not me

The lengths that I will go to

The distance I will dive

Oh no I've broke my cup

Hurts to get up

That's me playing deeper

That's me in the spotlight

Making good decisions

Trying to keep up with you

And I know that I can do it

Oh no, here comes a wallop

I need a new cup

I thought that I heard you laughing

I thought that I saw the ball zing

I think I just threw out Al Fry.

I throw crisper

I take every hard 2 hopper

Can throw to any base I reckon

But, hitting the cut off is what I do

Get the lead runner is my rule

Oh no I've broke my cup

I can’t get up

Consider Saunders

The hitter of the century

Consider Casullo

And the hit that brought me to my knees

What if all these hard line drives

Come flailing around

Now I've said too much

I thought that I heard you laughing

I thought that I saw the ball zing

I think I just threw out that Hargreaves guy.

THE GAME

This may have been our best game of the year. 

There are really so many moments to savour; its hard to pick just one. 

What can I say, it was shaping up as a real pitchers duel, you know baseball; its won and lost between the lines. Rob was really pitching lights out.  He had his fastball working.  The batters were eating out of his hand.  He pitched a gem, really throwing some heat. 

And defensively we flashed the leather.  Brought 110% and laid it all on the line.  We held nothing back, playing for today. 

Sure.

I'm sure that people will be quick to tell me I'm nuts, but the final score surprised me.  I thought that it was much closer. Seriously!  In fact I thought we played better in this game than we did the night before against the Torn Ligaments. 

Tonight, we didn't play lazy, there was good chatter between fielders and very good setup defensively.  We caught some tough balls and just misses a few others.  We missed a couple of opportunities to turn two, but even then we still made sure of one.  The was only one GLARING miss of a cut off man. 

Even still, I don't know how we gave up 17. 

And offensively, 3?  Seriously. 

Anyone with batting lineup suggestions, please forward to weswingbad@hotmail.com 

You know why their called slumps? Because they don't last forever.  We will pull out of this.  Some sage advise from Batman would probably help!

GAME 12 - Everyone's A Critic

The Intro

NOTE:  There is now a "League News and Notes" tab in the BLOG.  If something happens of interest or you want to post the score of your game, let me know by EMAIL and I'll be sure to post it quickly!

Now, Paul Piellusch likes shorter BLOGs so out of respect to him, I'm really going to try and keep it quick.  You could all help me though by reading a little faster!

I think putting out the schedule of upcoming BLOGS was a good idea. Suggesting topics and asking for input has been a bit of a help to be completely honest. However, to all those people who emailed me with jokes about Paul Piellusch’s stomach, you should really be ashamed of yourselves. In all seriousness, how can you even suggest this line of comedy? It's not funny.  And believe me, I KNOW FUNNY.  In fact, Readers Digest is strongly considering publishing one of my jokes. 

No, it's not funny, this is just crass.  It would be like poking fun at a blind guy or defenceless rookies. I mean, who does that kind of stuff. It’s completely inappropriate and unwarranted.  Frankly I'm a little embarrassed to even get those kinds of suggestions.  Shame.

Now with that bit of boorish behaviour is out of the way, let’s talk about Paul’s hair. 

Being somewhat follicly challenged myself (only on the top) I have no difficulty in saying that I completely resent Paul’s hair. Oh, and it’s just not thickness and texture that has all the women swooning. No, It’s also the colour, you know the mostly pepper with just a hint of salt. Chicks dig that. Or so I’m told. Then you have the Dougie Gilmour ‘hockey hair’ length. It’s not quite a “Joe Dirt” full on mullet. No, it’s more of a business on top and just a hint of 'party in the back'. I think that its the essence of party instead of the “rock on baby” look that just adds to the whole Rico Suave image that he personifies.

Yep, Paul has it made in the shade with that lid.  Personally, if I had that helmet, I'd have nothing left to aspire for. (or is it aspire to?)

Separated at birth? Paul and Starsky?

Anyway, I was waiting to bat tonight against the Torn Ligaments’ and I could hear some of the MANY female fans (as there always are for Torn Ligaments' games) nattering on in the stands. Of course, I was FULLY focused on hitting so I didn’t pay too much attention. But my fierce concentration was shaken when I heard one of the women say “isn’t that Starsky?”

Woman 2, "it looks a little like him, but he's aged a little bit hasn't he?"
Woman 3, "nope that's not Starsky."
Woman 1, "Oh, I'm sure its Starsky, I mean look at that hair!"
Woman 3, "definitely, definitely, not"
Woman 2, "what makes you so sure its not?  I'm on the fence - that could totally be Starsky.  I'll bet you that if I yell 'Zebra-3, Zebra-3 we have a 2-11 in progress'; he'll turn turn around and look!"
Woman 1, "Oh My God, if Huggy Bear walks around the corner right now, I WILL JUST DIE!!!"
Woman 3, "that's NOT Starsky for the love of god!"
Woman 2, "Okay 'miss People Magazine', why are you so sure its not him?"
Woman 3, "Well, everyone knows that Starsky carried a Smith and Wesson Model 59, 9MM semi- automatic that had a double column magazine clip, a 7.55 inches barrel length and a 4 inch girth, right."
Woman 2, "yeah, of course, everyone with a 1976 tiger-beat subscription knows that!'"
Woman 1, "Duh, so what?"
Woman 3, "Does that guy look like he's packing a 9MM Semi?"
Woman 2, "ahhhhhhh.....now I see.....you're right, he's not Starsky".
Woman 1, "sigh, not even Hutch". 

The Speech

Just when you thought that Rob had fallen into a predicable pattern, he steps up and amazes us AGAIN! To the tune of Alanis Morrissete's Ironic.  As much as the weekend offering of "we didn't start the fire" was good, this one might be his best work!  We done Robbie!!! 

Easiest tune EVER, but you can click the song title to hear the harmonica, accordian and drum machine in action!

EVERYONE'S A CRITIC

An old man turned sixty-eight

Threw out a 35 year old on a bang-bang play

It's like a high pop fly on a really sunny day

It's an easy ground ball, but you didn’t put down the gate

And everyone's a critic... don't you think

It's like rain on your playoff game

It's a grand slam but the games been delayed

It's the good advice that you pretended to take

Who would've thought... it figures

Mr. Play It Safe was afraid to slide

He watched Dave Polny and figured it was time to try

He waited the whole damn game 'til the time was right

And as the bruises came up he thought

"Well isn't this nice..."

And everyone's a critic... don't you think

It's like rain on your playoff game

It's being late and the game's already played
It's the good advice that you pretended to take

Who would've thought... it figures

Well the game has a funny way of sneaking up on you

When you think everything's okay and everything's going right

And the game has a funny way of knocking you back when

You think everything's gone wrong and everything blows up

In your face

A terrific grab when you really needed that hit

An empty bottle of wine when you just wanted a little bit

It's like a thousand left gloves when all you need is a right

It's like getting the best hit of my life

And then Donnie calls it foul in the twilight

And everyone's a critic...don't you think

Everyone's a critic...and, yeah, it really does stink...

It's like rain on your playoff game

It's a free pass when the games been delayed

It's the good advice that you pretended to take

Who would've thought... it figures

The Game

The Torn Ligaments got out to a quick start.  Typical.

The Grisslies gave up three in the first.  Typical.

The Torn Ligaments were relaxed and never in any REAL danger of losing.  The Grisslies were missing their 2, 3, 4, 5 and 10 players.  Our subs were great and missing people isn't an excuse, we just never really felt settled. 

Then there was the Starsky conversation when I was in the on deck circle. Listening to that and making notes instead of concentrating caused me to pull something when I was doing my 9.79 sprint down the line to first (too bad its about 15 meters, not 100).

Actually I'm not sure if I came up lame because of that or if its actually the ball that Henry Lukassen hit still working its way through my leg.  This one was kinda funny (not Readers Digest funny, just a little funny) because I subbed against Henry last week and completely understand that he's hitting the ball great, this year, but I'd still want to cheat a little in with the outfield rather that have our backs against the fences.  But that's just me.

So, no sooner had I turned around (playing 3rd) from waving the outfield in, than Henry rips as hard a shot as I've ever seen about 6 feet in front of me.  I was going to say that I have normally have "cat-like" reflexes, but I think that will just leave that to the catwoman.  Anyway, Henry's ball went straight up in the air after breaking my freaking femur and rupturing my quad.  Okay, it didn't QUITE break my femur and my quad is really more of a tri or a duo, so its not all bad. But as I write right now...it really hurts!  So, Henry ends up with a triple on the play.

Oh, how exactly does Henry get a triple you ask?  That's a really good question!

So as the ball is straight up in the air off of my leg, I have time to make a splint and a field dressing for my wound before the ball comes back down.  I then grab it and go to first with the throw.  Well, sort of.  I PURPOSEFULLY threw it up the first base line into right field.

WHY?  Again, glad you asked.

I did it to demonstrate that the outfielders were playing Henry FAR TOO DEEP.  And I was right.

I will go to the ends of the earth to get these guys in the right defense position.

Okay, kidding.  We were pretty listless.  The score was 3-3 after an inning and we were never really out of it and never fully in it.

I firmly believe that there are wins out there for us.  Its like a puzzle with a piece or two missing.  Robbie and I still have half a year to figure it out and we will.  Until then....we play.....we drink....we walk home....

Tune in tomorrow around this time to hear about Ingo Bartens.  A true story you won't want to miss!

SPECIAL REPORT - HTKP II - We didn't start the fire

The Intro
The final tally is in for the WHO IS THE  BATMAN Poll..
James Taylor                                                   42% of the popular vote
Mrs Del Greco                                                31% of the vote
Simon smith                                                     26% of the vote
Danny Chiasson                                               10% of the vote
Dave Argue                                                     10% of the vote
Mark Doyle                                                       5% of the vote
Kevin Boston, Chuck Cragg, Tim Osmond.        0% of the vote.

SELFISH NOTE:

I have officially given up trying to predict readership.  Two weeks ago we had the Chuck Cragg BLOG which I still maintain may be the funniest thing I`ve ever written and we got about 600 page loads that week.  Last week we did The Batman BLOG which didn`t take much effort but generated 1200 page loads.  To put that in perspective, that 13% of what we`ve had in 2 years.

Please.  help me understand!!!

This BLOG is more all over the place (hard to believe?) than my typical BLOG.  As an intro, here are the top 8 things to happen at the Help The Kids Play tournament, from my point of view only.  I'll try to stay balanced, but there is a chance this could be a little Grisslie centric.

1.  The Mercat Tai-Chi guy.

Sorry, but if you missed this guy, then you missed what may have been the most entertaining part of the weekend.  If you don’t know what a mercat is, it’s a mangy little thing that lives underground and looks like a cross between a lemur and and a raccoon.

Anyway, everyday at dawn, they all come out of their holes and line up facing the rising sun.  No one really knows why this happens.  Well, before our game Saturday morning at C3, there was meract; Tai-Chi guy facing the rising sun and doing some for form of funky Bee-Gees tai-chi meditation. I wish I had better words to describe it, but I’m going to just go with “wrong”.

2. Danny Chiasson playing Short.

I know. I’m having trouble believing it myself, but yes, the lad seems able to play short and 3rd as well. After we dropped our first two games and lost all hope of moving on to play Sunday; Rob and I decided to experiment (with the team). The first experiment of having Piero in Centre Field produced mixed results. The second experiment with Ingo umpiring had its moments. However, I think we may have hit on something with Danny boy.

3.  The Alumni game

Alumni? Didn’t I play half those guys last week? This was a great addition to the weekend program and I’ve not heard a bad word about it from anyone. The Alumni were like kids in a candy (pun fully intended) store with the opportunity to play and their attitudes were infectious.

4.  The dedication ceremony.

What a genuine outpouring of warmth from all the people in attendance. Everyone did an excellent job in presenting and speaking, but no more so than Jeff Dancey who found the right words to convey our sincerity without making everyone weep. Its was close though, I’ll admit it!

5.  The All Star game

Oh yeah. This was the main event!!! More, much more on that later.

6.  The pig roast.

By all accounts, the pig was the only one that got hurt!

7.  The music!

In addition to the Alumni Game, the Pig Roast and the All Star game, this was the 4th significant change to the weekend and another one that was really well received. I loved the fact that there was live music and it made for great atmosphere. Thanks Chris and Jim!

8.  Piero’s Play at the plate

This one may be better saved for the legion. It was a bang-bang-bang play at the plate with an opportunity for double play on one catch. Its tough to do on your back though!

The Speech

So here is the thing about Rob that maybe you don't realize.  Rob is very proud of his team, The Grisslies, but he is probably even more proud of the league overall.  He is big proponent of supporting the rookies on all teams and recognizing people who have contributed to and helped maintain the values of our league.  In the two years I`ve been with the Grisslies, the Help The Kids Tournament hasn`t been presented as an option, but something that ``we do, because its the right thing to do``.  To that end, Rob found a way to mention the names of 106 player, 11 teams, 1 tournament, 1 park and 1 nerd all in one song!!!

This one goes to the tune of "we didn't start the fire" by Billy Joel.

We Didn't Start The Fire

Bob Candy, Dennis Short, Ed Vonda, Fraser Barratt

Keogh Park, Wycliffe Wheeler, Bobby Vienneau

Chris Ross, Andy Gee, Dave Polny, Billy Cloutier

Wayne Bickford, Mark Bickford, Piero Del Greco

Foerster’s, Kevin Moon, Bear Wyatt, Henry Lukassen

Fonzie, “Torn Ligaments” and “The Dodge City Rounders”.

Hughie Armstrong, Stiffer, Oldtimers have a new team

Shmagola, Danny Chiasson, Recycled said goodbye

We didn't start the fire,

The jokes are always burning 

Since the league was forming

Maybe sometimes we're campy

No we don't need to fight it

'Cause we kinda like it.

Jerry Wallace, Chucky Cragg, Steve and Doug De Land

Cliff Joseph, Randy Hipkin, Cameron Clark

Al Fry, Gary Cox, Pendlebury, Sandy Bell

Kevin Nicholl, Hargreaves, Al Nicholl

Hjelholt, McCarron, Brew Jay’s got a winning team

Dave Argue, Bartens, Tim Osmand, Grissleland

Comeau, Robertson, Caradonna, Sullivan

Chris Pulfer, Marky-Mark, And the Funky Bunch

We didn't start the fire,

The jokes are always burning

Since the league was forming

Maybe sometimes we're campy

No we don't need to fight it

'Cause we kinda like it

Jason Bowers, Cartegena, Wayne Caldwell, Rod Duggan

Doris, Francis Walsh, Batman's a hell of a guy

Jens Lepa, Jim MacDonald, Welcome to Jimmerville,

Units try to run and hide, Red Dogs on the other side

Billy Brown, Glen Gray, Stephen Kapp, Craig Beatty

Yellow bats, Frank Laird, Stevie Brooks can really throw.

Mike Olliffe, Club house beer, Matson's paying big cheer,

Paul Piellusch, Bob Pearce, Grisslies in 10th place

We didn't start the fire,

The jokes are always burning

Since the league was forming

Maybe sometimes we're camp

No we don't need to fight it

'Cause we kinda like it

Scott Peters, Coopman, fine pitching by Bill Jonkman,

Radar, Clayton, does anyone speak cajun?

Roger The Big Kahuna, many strikes from Robert Farah,

Gord Dol, Bill Clark, Cudnik hits it out again.

Steve Ross, Lucky Stiff, Rookies are sure to whiff,

Steve Grenkie hits all day, what else do I have to say

We didn`t start the fire

The jokes were always burning

Since the league was forming

Maybe sometimes we're campy

No we don't need to fight it
 'Cause we kinda like it.

Peterson, Darren Mason, Eric Hipkin's still pitchin'

Cliff Tucker, Cliff Stacey, Rob Stock, Greg Tracey.

Wynnyk, Koolhaas, Dean Clarke, new fence in Keogh Park

Rob Hayward still a nerd, Mark Kolsen's rarely heard.

Help The Kids, Simon Smith, Cal Steeves is coming with

Fancy shorts, John Harrett, Walsh, Black, Terry Doucet

Rouleau's backs not sore, The Banshee's have no big flaws

Saunders got a fast new car, I can't take it anymore

The Game

Yes there was a ladies final, a men's final and a young timers finals.  Congrats to all, but that wasn`t really the big story.  The real attraction Sunday was the oldtimers vs young timers all star game. 

No one asked me for my opinion, but I get to write this so I`ll give it anyway.  Here is what I have to say:

We (the Grisslies) lost to Ed and Tony`s Wild team last year in the Semi-finals of the end of season tournament.  They were nothing but gentlemen after the game and their team followed the lead of their captains.  They went on to win the finals in tough match and maintained their class and represented the league fantastically.  When they were asked to pick and coach the all star team they were handed somewhat of a losing proposition.  We have 168 guys in our league.  They were bound to leave people off that others thought should be on.  You simply can`t make everyone happy.  That being said, I think they picked a great team and handled the job seriously and with integrity.

Enough of my views.   (I`m sure you`re all happy).

So odds makers had the over under for the game 31 runs and 10+ to the young timers.  Conventional wisdom and popular betting had the young timers winning this easily and possibly even invoking the mercy rule!  Chris Ross spoke to the oldtimers troops before the game and spoke of the `kids` youthful enthusiasm and how the oltimers had to use their guile and moxie to over come their athleticism.  At least that`s how Tony remembered the speech. 

The game started with the oldtimers up first and the game was led off by a with a single by Rob Hayward.  In a sign of things to come, the next batter hit a crisp two hopper to Red at third base who moved deftly to left to scoop it and fire to second to start a twin killing.  The 5-4-3 double play left the bases empty and two out.  The oldtimers didn`t cave though.  Doris, Mooner and Andy all worked their way on to load the bases with two down and put the kids on their heels before a fly out to left ended the inning. 

The bottom of the 1st started with a flare to first base caught in foul territory by Doris.  With one out Tim and Waylen got on bringing up David Presenza.  He wasn`t there long, because he crushed a ball to left and trotted around the bases with Waylen and Tim scoring in front of him.  The next two hitters reached leaving runners on the corners with still only one out; then the oldtimers flashed some leather.  A ball was stung down to Chuck at 3B who threw a rocket to Steve Ross at 2nd base for the force out.  The runner from third decided to risk the play at the plate and Steve threw him out by a hair.

After one inning the youngtimers were up 3-0

The old guys must have been inspired by the defense because they started the next inning with McCarron, Jeff and Ricky-Bobby reaching base.  With one run in and one out another run came in on Steve Ross`sac fly and the inning ended on another fly to left.  But the oldtimers had gotten on the board!

The bottom of two started promising for our side.  A quick fly out to left, followed by a grounder to third had no one on and two outs.  Then Jay and Red scored on a triple by Beech before the inning ended on a harmless fly to right.

After two innings the youngtimers had a 5-2 lead.

Neil led of the next inning with a single and he would eventually score after he was able to stay ahead of a couple of fielders choices.  The oldtimers chipped away, getting another back.

Not to be outdone, Tim and Waylen both got on again to lead of the third, but the oldtimers would tighten things up a bit by getting the next three batters to fly to left and center.  They scored on one of the sac flys but didn`t get any other hits.

After three, youngtimers 6; oltimers 3.

The Fourth inning was a bad one offensively for the oltimers.  A line out to third, a line out to short and a strike out (foul strike 3).

Although Andy answered the kids strikeout with one of his own, the youngtimers put the hammer down and rolled a 3 for the inning.

After four innings it was the youngtimers 9 and the oltimers 3 and for the first time it looked like the game might be getting away from our guys!

The 5th was a crucial inning that saw our boys send nine men to the plate and score 3 runs!  Ricky-Bobby, Anisette and Steve Ross scored that inning and there was some bad luck on line shots that prevented our guys from inching a little closer.

Maybe the momentum shifted a bit.  Waylen had a hit around a ground out and a fly out and Luke singled before a fly to centre ended the inning.  Finally, the youngtimers were kept off the board!

Youngtimers 9; oldtimers 6 after 5.

The sixth would be another productive inning for the oldtimers.  After a lead off flyout to left, Chuck, McCarren and Jeff all reached.  Chuck scored on Jeff`s hit and McCarren would score on a fielders choice. 

With the oldtimers now nipping at their heels, the youngtimers scored 3 runs on 5 hits in the 6th inning.  None was bigger than Red`s bases clearling triple and he would score on Beech`s single. 

12-8 for the youngtimers. 

For only the second time in the game the oldtimers went down one, two three.  The final score was 12-8 and all of our guys did a whale of a job. 

If I had to pick an MVP (and I didn't), the person I would have chosen was Red for the youngtimers.  Red was 3 for 3, drove in runs and scored twice, had 3 assists and 3 put outs.  Busy day and well played Red!!!

Thanks to all for an absolutely amazing weekend.  It was a treat.  Not quite enough to make me forget about my broken down Transmission from Friday night, but amazing nevertheless!