The Serious Part
Those of us who know 'a little bit' about the inner workings of the league; we know that we have a solid constitution in place and rules that try to prevent people from being manipulative. It doesn't always work and there is an element of trust and fair play that many of us feel is important to preserve the spirit of the league.
All that being said, I bristle when I hear some of the comments about the Brew Jays picking up Rob Hayward off of the waiting list. People need to know that there was nothing shady or underhanded about that move. We have a waiting list, we had an injury, we had a player moved onto a roster. As Hugh, Don & I were saying in the Clubhouse a couple of weeks ago, the only disappointment was that one of our teams didn't have the injury bug at the right time!
Oh, and how do I know any of this? Because I got the email from Rob saying he wanted back in. So really, the only person (maybe not only, but definitely the 1st) who was in position to take advantage of information and hatch a devious plan, was me. And the Grisslies were in a position where we could have at least tried to speed up events that we were pretty sure were going to, and ultimately did, transpire. So please...no more nudge, nudge, wink, wink about the Brew Jays or Rob.
There is one more point on this actually. Just because the Brew Jays didn't ANYTHING wrong doesn't mean I don't think that they aren't lucky as hell. Friggin' lucky by my count. But that's all, just dumb luck. 14 other teams could have had the good fortune of fate smile on them, but someone was eventually going to win the lottery of the next available waiting list guy. And whether the guy that got injured was a 1 or 12 is simply another roll of the dice. Good on the Brew Jays, I wish them only the best. I'm confident that Rod & Bo would do the same if the cleat was on the other foot. They cleaned our clocks without Sir Rob, I'm not expecting it to get any better with him.
The not-so Serious Part
Now luck, much like Newton's law of motion (yes we always can learn something here at the BLOG) reads like this: For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.
Luck MUST stay balanced with equal distributions of good luck and bad luck. So the good luck is obviously picking up a Rob Hayward. The bad luck is losing a Rob Hayward or a Rob Hayward equivalent or someone better than Rob Hayward; which is what effectively happened to the Hot Tub Woody's when Jeff Dancey went down. Oh, I know, they aren't mirror images of each other - granted. No one truly is are they? For instance, Dancey is younger and better looking, but there are still comparables.
The Collar Bone of the Woody's Demise
We don't keep a lot of stats as you all know, basically just times on base, at bats and (new this year) runs scored. So doing an historical analysis of stats is pretty much worthless. This game, in our league, is a game of feel. A game of perception and one of reputation. So to really compare, I've gone to some of our leagues better pitchers and asked some questions to see what the general feel is which these two feared hitters.
BLOG: Tell me your strategy for pitching to Rob Hayward?
Frank Laird: I give him a fat one he can hammer once a year with nobody on when we're either up huge or down huge. Its meaningless but he gets in his head that he can hit you, which obviously isn't the case.
Andy Gee: The trick to Rob is to not throw him a strike. He's impatient. My plan hasn't changed in 8 years. Off the plate inside and let him strike himself out.
Wayne Bickford: Who?
Rob Farah: Strategy? Its like pitchers hitting in the National League. More an inconvenience to the pace of the game than any real threat.
Derryl Gaudet: The only problem I have with Hayward is that, due to his size, everyone plays him so deep on the infield and outfield. Then he beats out those little dribblers for singles. I'd call it more an annoyance than anything else.
BLOG: What is the secret to defending against Jeff Dancey
Frank Laird: Secret? I think its just a well known fact that you throw it in and duck and pray.
Andy Gee: Man. Every approach I've used has failed miserably. I still try though, I won't give up. But its like trying to catch water in a fishing net. He's elusive.
Wayne Bickford: I proposed at the AGM that we be allowed an extra infielder and two extra outfielders against one designated player on each team. Of course Dancey was on the executive and shot it down. Truth is, it wouldn't really matter anyway. You'd need to double your fielding contingent to really inflict damage to that guy's average.
Rob Farah: Its frustrating. If you pitch him inside he can still hit off field with power. Pitch him away and he can still pull it with power. Pitch him down the middle? You better hope your helmet has a high safety rating
Derryl Gaudet: Look, the guy is simply awesome, you can't stop him. You can only slow him down. Lately I've been walking the guy in front of him just to try and clog up the bases and at least take away the speed factor. It hasn't mattered though, he tends to hit everything out of the park anyway.
BLOG: Dancey is often referred to as a 5 tool ball player. Would you agree?
Frank Laird: Heck Yeah! He can hit for average, he hits for power, has speed in the field and on the bases, has a top flight arm and can catch anything near him. 5 tool for sure.
Andy Gee: I agree with Frank. However, I'd say he's probably a 6 tool athlete. If you know him at all, you'd know that his fitness level are off the charts too!
Wayne Bickford: Yep, agreed too. But I'd actually say 7 tool. His mental discipline and preparedness to succeed can not be matched.
Rob Farah: Well said Wayne. I'd even push it to a 8 tool athlete. His post game conditioning actually frightens my team. There have been plenty of nights when the Grilssies are celebrating their latest loss at the Legion, only to leave an hour later and find Dancey still running the warning track at Keogh as part of his cool down regimen.
Derryl Gaudet: Honestly, we can all find stuff in Dancey that we admire. For me, there's a 9th tool and that is his commitment to his diet routine. From the protein shakes, to the supplements to the carb loading on game days .... The man is a commercial for healthy eating. Its one thing to say your body is a temple; its another thing to actually LIVE it!
BLOG: Finish this sentence: Jeff Dancey is to T.O.T as ____________
Frank Laird: As Mustard is to a hot dog
Andy Gee: As peanut butter is to jam!
Wayne Bickford: As Babe Ruth is to the history of baseball
Rob Farah: As Meg Ryan is to chick flicks
Derryl Gaudet: As beer is to the legion.
BLOG: Finish this sentence: Rob Hayward is to T.O.T as ____________
Frank Laird: As Mustard is to breakfast cereal.
Andy Gee: As peanut butter is to spaghetti
Wayne Bickford: As Babe Ruth is to the history of weight watchers
Rob Farah: As Meg Ryan is to Action flicks
Derryl Gaudet: As beer is to church.
BLOG: As much as Dancey deserves every bit of praise that he gets; and probably more, it seems like you pitchers are being unduly harsh on Rob Hayward. What positives can you give about Rob's game?
Frank Laird: Orange slices. Rob is really good about bringing the guys orange slices, particularly on hot days!
Andy Gee: In fairness, for a guy that is out that often, he always runs hard. Good for him.
Wayne Bickford: Good point Andy. And you know what, Rob is a guy that likes to see the whole team involved. That's a positive for me as a pitcher. I consider him an equal opportunity ground out.
Rob Farah: To my knowledge he's never missed a game due to measles, mumps or rubella.
Derryl Gaudet: I'd say the sliding. You can hit a 100 balls in a row to Rob and he'll slide for 99 of them. The funny part is that the only one he doesn't slide for is the one probably should have.
And there you go. Sometimes you gain a Hayward and sometimes you lose a Dancey.
THE SPEECH
Me: So.
Rob: So?
Me: You hacked my BLOG.
Rob: Oh, you noticed?
Me: Noticed? Yeah. I noticed. I was on a call with support for 3 and 1/2 hours because I was locked out.
Rob: Awwwww. That's really too bad.
Me: I appreciate mock sincerity, it helps lessen the pain.
Rob: Pain of what?
Me: Are you kidding? Of that "Chicks dig me" stuff that you did on the weekend.
Rob: Really? That upset you?
Me: Rob. I got to work this morning and it was on my desk.
Rob: Hahahaha....thats pretty funny.
Me: Glad you think so
Rob: So are you starting to understand that you might actually hurt people's feelings when you do your bloggity blog stuff?
Me: Rob, I ASK people!!!! Well, for the most part I do.
Rob: Really?
Rob: Really? Are you done your little intro thingy?
Me: Yeah, just finished writing it. I'll probably keep tweaking it right up until publishing time, but its basically done.
Rob: Oh yeah? What's it about?
Me: Just a goofy 'poking fun' at Dancey and Hayward. Just clowning around, you know.
Rob: Yeah I know. I'm just wondering who's going to call me complaining this week.
Me: Hmmmmm, well.....Hayward is cool, I talked to him. And Dancey said I could do whatever as long he gets a laugh out of it. I don't know, maybe Bickford won't be thrilled ....Or...
Rob: Bickford????? Junior or Senior?
Me: Senior, why?
Rob: Dammit! Again? He's still pissed off about the Chiclets thing for god sakes. You've gotta stop on Wayne, one day he's just gonna snap and pitch you high and tight.
Me: In a slow pitch game?
Rob: Doug. Its a euthanasia, as you would say.
Me: A euphemism?
Rob: Your words are boring me. And now I've got my work cut out for me.
Me: Why?
Rob: Because now I have to make my song extra spectacular to distract Bickford.
Me: I'm sure you'll come up with something. But you're gonna have to bring in some rap or hip-hop soon.
Rob: Word up my brotha, rap gets me high as kite, I feel good tonight....Doug E Fresh, you aight.
ME: Right.
Rob: Okay....go away. I've gotta write.
The song Twilight Zone, made famous by the one hit wonders, Golden Earring is featured today from the Speech Master. I forgot to add music last week apparently, so click ===> HERE for it this week!
TWILIGHT ZONE
It's seven PM, the fear has gone
I'm sittin' here waitin', the bat still warm
Maybe its time to run start takin' chances
Yeah there's a storm on the loose, Woody runs in my head
I'm wrapped up in silence, all circuits are dead
I cannot decode, only scoring runs spins in my head
Help I'm steppin' into the twilight zone
Keogh's a madhouse, feels like being cloned
My beacon is in tune like Kevin Moon who's a star
Where am I to go, now that I've gone too far
Help I'm steppin' into the twilight zone
Keogh's a madhouse, feels like being cloned
My beacon is in tune like Kevin Moon who's a star
Where am I to go, now that I've gone too far
Soon you will come to know,
When you break your collar bone
Soon you will come to know,
When you break your collar bone.
He's falling down a spiral, destination unknown
A single spiked bag, yeah one spike on its own
he can't get no balance, no grips on his shoe, he needs glue,
Well the fall weighs heavy on his achy spine,
This break is way worse than hairline!
And when the hit man comes
He knows damn well he has been cheated (out of an RBI)
Help I'm steppin' into the twilight zone
Keogh's a madhouse, feels like being cloned
My beacon is in tune like Kevin Moon who's a star
Where am I to go, now that I've gone too far
Help I'm steppin' into the twilight zone
Keogh's a madhouse, feels like being cloned
My beacon is in tune like Kevin Moon who's a star
Where am I to go, now that I've gone too far
Soon you will come to know,
When you break your collar bone
Soon you will come to know,
When you break your collar bone.
Help I'm steppin' into the twilight zone
Keogh's a madhouse, feels like being cloned
My beacon is in tune like Kevin Moon who's a star
Where am I to go, now that I've gone too far
Soon you will come to know,
When you break your collar bone
Soon you will come to know,
When you break your collar bone.
THE GAME
Well, it was a game of replacements.
Jeff Handley (the second replacement for Jeff Dancey) and Bob Smith (the replacement for Scott Pritchard) were both front and center in this one.
I have to admit that it didn't look good early for the 14th place Grisslies as Handley struck out the 1st and 3rd hitters that he faced in this league and the middle hitter had a weak ground out. On offense, the Woody's first 2 batters were erased on ground balls to Bob Smith and it was starting to look like this would be just the new guys all night long. Then the rest of the guys decided that they could hit elsewhere and Chuck Cragg, Handley, Chris Larkin, Chris DeSavoy, Cliff Tucker, Doug DeLand all reached in order scoring 4 runs.
The Grisslies got 3 back in the 2nd, but the game was one of those close to the vest affairs. The Grisslies would take their first lead of the night after 5, going a head 7-5.
Other than the 4 run first inning, the Woody's weren't able to scratch out more than single (in the 4th and 7th innings) on a combination of good infield defense from the Grisslies and a little bit of good forture.
The flood gates opened in this one in the 6th when the Grisslies rolled a 7. With one out, 7 consecutive batters reached base and scored. In a year of firsts for me, most of them not good, I scored the 1st run of that inning and drove in the last one. Although I'll admit that I was very nearly Handley's 4th strikeout victim of the night.
Make the final of this one, Grisslies 14; Hot Tub Woody's 6.
Things to check out:
Check out the Donini Three Stars of the game here ==> STARS
Check out the Dislocated Joints game notes from DTBB & Terry Doucet ==> JOINTS
Check out the Tap Master's game notes from Jason Bowers ==> Tapped Out
Check out the Hurtin' Units BLOG from Jimmer ==> Hannibal Lecter
The League's Official Website ==> League
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