Game 17: I'll Find Another Player For You

INTRO

This isn't stealing because I'm announcing what I've done....I read this article last Friday in the T.O.T Times and felt compelled to share it with the rest of you.  I know most of you get the New Tecumseth Times, THIS IS NOT THAT PAPER!!!

Further:  The question HAS to be asked, "What is wrong with Rob McCarron"?  

Neighbour Chuck Cragg was quoted as saying, "well, for starters, did I ever tell you about my metaphor about pork?  Oh, I did?  Well if what you're saying is true, I would say this is totally out of character for Rob.  Sure he has issues with rockets, that's well known, but this doesn't really sound like him at all."

Paul Hargreaves followed up saying, "we've lived next door to Rob for years, I can only assume your information is bad.  By the way, do you want a beer?  Anything?  It'll only take a sec."

Doris Casullo, Just a few doors down said, "I've played with and against Rob for many years now, I can't see him turning down his old team without a good reason.  My leg is killing me.  I played 38 games over the past 4 days." 

Rob Farah also chimed in giving his two cents worth with, "who is Rob McCarron". 

So here is what we do know.  Rob McCarron plays a lot of ball.  He subs probably once a week on average.  Yet he steadfastly refuses to play for the Grisslies.  For a while we thought that it might have been a little bit of a personality conflict with Jim "Mickey" Mannell, but that seems to have been resolved with Mickey's medication.

I had a chance to talk to Joy McCarron and she may have offered a bit of insight into Rob's apparent disdain for the Grisslies, saying that "Rob never really liked his nickname when he was with the team."

Admittedly, the Grisslies have had some of the leagues great nicknames.  "For Those About To Rock",  "Ingofische", "The Contradiction", "Pieman", "Minnesota", "Timmy-Two-Beers", "Radar", "The Screwdriver", "Freddy", "Sir Master Of Mayhem", "The Wadd", "Mickey", "Don't Call Me Terry", "Diamond Jim"...etc.   Seriously, if you don't show up to the Grisslies with a nickname (like Pieman or Radar or The Wadd), you will most certainly leave with one.

As I recall McCarron had a few nicknames while a member of the Grisslies.  The first was "Half Pint".  I thought that was kind of funny reverse humour.  Plus he just lives a few houses away from the largest Little House on the Prairie collection in North America.   It didn't stick.  Then there was "Big Bird" which was half for his height and half for his propensity to wear yellow shirts.  That didn't stick either. 

We eventually settled on "Shoeless Rob McCarron".  This was of course out of respect to his hitting ability, which is much like Shoeless Joe Jackson and his shoeless routine when out about the neighbourhood.  I thought it was clever and fairly reflective, but I guess not.

So Robbie....will you sub for us if we promise to call you "Rocket man" going forward?  I'm sure that we can get the alumni ban lifted!      


THE SPEECH

Last Saturday:

Rob:   You know who's done a good job this year?
Me:    Who?
Rob:   Jason Bowers.
Me:    Yeah, I guess so. 
Rob:   I guess so?  The dude's awesome!  Do you know how hard it is to find subs?
Me:    Not really.  I never really thought about it.
Rob:   No you wouldn't would you.  Maybe you should be more like Jason and try to contribute something to this league instead of just take, take, take.
Me:   You read me like a dime store novel.  
Rob:   Yeah, he's done really well.  We should do something for him. 
Me:     Like what?  Are you going to pick up a gift certificate or something?
Rob:    Better than that.
Me:     Such as????
Rob:    I'm going to write him a song.

And there you go.  Dedicated to Jason Bowers who has had a stellar 1st year as the sub-controller.  Rob has reworked the lyrics of Dionne Warwick's "I'll Say a Little Prayer For You" into "I'll Find another Player for You".  Hope you enjoy.   Click for the music.  MUSIC

Find Another Player For You

The moment I wake up
Before the arthritis pills are brought out
I'll find another player for you
Wishing I didn't have to care now
And wondering which teams shirt to wear now,
I'll find another player for you

Forever, and ever, the teams rip apart,
and I will hunt for you
Forever, and ever, I've got subs in my heart
and I'll find if I need to
Forever, forever, that's how it must be
If you play short
Would only mean heartache for me.

I dial the the sub lists,
Number ones are so pretentious,
But I'll find another player for you.
I know it will take time
Again today, no coffee break-time,
But I'll find another player for you.

Forever, and ever, the teams rip apart,
and I will hunt for you
Forever, and ever, I've got subs in my heart
and I'll find if I need to
Forever, forever, that's how it must be
If you play short
Would only mean heartache for me.

I'll find another player for you
I'll find a little player for you

Bo & Rod believe me, (believe me)
I'll get someone for you!

James & Mike too (Get them a player)
And I'm good at getting 3's and 2's now (Get them a player)
Got you a player now Clayton (Got him his player)

Forever, and ever, the teams rip apart,
and I will hunt for you
Forever, I've got subs in my heart
And I'll find if I need to
Phoning, forever, that's how it must be
No Center Fielder for you
Would only mean heartbreak for me (oooooooooh)

THE GAME

VS

Well.  This may be a little messy because I had to delete a long piece I wrote on how nice Neil Pendlebury is.  You see I subbed for the Dislocated Joints last week and played centerfield beside Neil.  He was really nice.  Don't get me wrong, he wasn't "Jens Lepa nice" or "Scott Peters nice", but definitely the next tier. 

So it all went to hell in a hand basket when I started hearing the cat-calls from the Joints bench.  You see, I was playing short with Bob Smith out with his broken finger.  Actually, I'll say I'm keeping the spot warm rather than actually "playing".  So the Joints caught on pretty early that I was guessing so they kept hitting left when I was going right and vise versa.  Then I started playing straight up and knocking down a few balls. It worked out.  The point is that I heard this voice say, "hit it to short we need base runners".  I figured it had to be Terry, but he was batting.  I knew it couldn't be DownTown or Lou.  And sure enough, I look over and see Neil encouraging the team to hit it to me.  I flew into a rage.  Maybe rage isn't strong enough a word.  Anyway, with these Gary Cox type antics I had delete the nice guy bit. 

Its a shame really. 

Oh, by the way.  What a game!

I've been in the league three years so I won't even pretend to have seen it all...but Rob Farah has been in the league for 83 years and there has probably been 5 times this year already when he's said, "that is one of the best games I've ever been part of".  And those aren't all wins either.  Well last night topped them all. 

The joints came out scoring 2 in the first inning, largely due to Neil (The Jerk) blasting one into the center field gap; and they scored another in the second inning for a 3-0 lead. 

The Grisslie offense was largely non-existent.  Pop outs, ground outs and force outs when we did get the occasional runner on base. 

We scratched out a single run in the third inning and another in the 5th to make it a 3-2 game. 

The defense was great on both sides.  There wasn't a single person who had an off night with the leather (save perhaps the Grisslie short stop).  Jimmy the Wadd made some critical plays at 2nd.  Argue, Hayward and Muirhead were their usual selves in the outfield.  Stephane Simard was aces in left field making all three outs in the fourth inning; and the middle out was tough line drive.  Mickey Mannell filled in admirably for Gord at 1st base and Dave "Don't Call Me Terry" Doucette got a key assist on an out at home.  Chris Larkin bailed us out a couple of times at third with solid play. 

For the Dislocated Joints, Pendleburry was excellent in center as per normal, and the nice Pendlebury did a great job in left.  Jamie was tracking well in Center Field as was Gary in right.  The infield played solidly.  Lou was very steady at third and Bill (Tom Selleck) Krawiec made a ton of outs at second base.  Terry "Don't call me Dave" Doucette fielded his position well too.  I know I'm leaving people out ... but its not because they didn't play well...everyone played well. 

The game went to the 7th inning with the Joints still up by the 3-2 count.  They managed to get another run off of a very stingy defense to make it 4-2 heading into the bottom of the seventh. 

The bottom of the inning with Chris Larkin hitting a routine single to right field.  Jamie McClean, the wily old vet, pretended to bobble the ball and Chris broke for second.  He never had a chance.  The play was like slow motion as he was thrown out in a feet first slide at second base. 

One out, nobody on and down two.  Jim Hunter strode to the plate carrying his bat, "Wonder Stick".  He kissed the bat and made the sign of the cross as per normal.  He would never be allowed to take "Wonder Stick" off his shoulder as Terry threw 4 straight balls. 

One out, one on and down two.  I come up and take one ball before hitting a clean single in front of Jamie in right center.  The Wadd was off at the crack of the bat and comes to third. 

One out, runners on the corners, winning run at the plate in the person of Dave "The Contradiction" Argue.  On a 1-1 pitch he hit a ball the other way down the left field line that eluded the fielder going to or at least near the fence.  Jim scored and I scored, tying the game.  Dave come all the way to third on the game tying triple. 

One out later with the game still tied at 4, Jerry Muirhead came up and calmly deposited a single to right field scoring Dave and sealing the win. 

5-4.  What a game!!!