As I embark on a second century of BLOGs, it is time to step up to the truth.
There has been far too much "nice-guy" stuff and boring stories so far this year. I've watched readership dwindle week over week while I went through my self indulgent saga. The BLOG had 1,642 hits seven weeks ago and had just 861 last week. The decline is obvious, steady and troubling.
So, I will freely admit that I started off this year a little aggressively with the BLOG and a few people got nervous. I get it. I got a little negative feedback. I get that too. So I choose to soften things up a bit and what happened? People stopped reading. My bad.
The people have spoken. They want irreverent. They want controversy. They want the anticipation of not knowing who's going to get carved up next. I can no longer let the BLOG be driven by the 1% who complain or are worried. I mean, if Duggan punches me (again), what's the worst that can happen? We have OHIP. So be on your toes, all of you Old Timers; and I do mean ALL of you Old Timers. Everything changes starting today.
I'm back.
10 Reasons Why I Hate The Wild
I hate The Wild. Sometimes I say stuff like this and then I'll write 'just joking' in brackets after it. I'm not joking. No brackets. This has nothing to do with Ed or Anthony. I like both of them. But I can't even pretend to like The Wild. Not even a little bit. Kind of like, I hate the Yankees, but I don't mind Jeter. Ohhhh how I hate thee, let me count the ways.
1. The Winning - You can call this sour grapes if you want, I don't really care. Everyone knows they won the league two years ago and followed it up by winning the playoffs. Then last year we had The Wild finish near the middle and end up winning the playoffs again. This year was supposed to be different. Our Grisslie roster was looking much improved from last year (losing Chiason helped) and looked to be similar to the team that lost to The Wild two years ago in the semi-finals. Our first game of the season was against the two time defending champs and would afford us the chance to prove ourselves early in the year. The Wild won by a score of 24-3. Beat the crap out of us actually. Same old, same old - The Wild win.
2. What is a "Wild" - Honestly, what is a "Wild"? I know what a Rusty Rebel is, I know what a Dislocated Joint is, I know what a Hurtin' Unit is; but I have no clue what the hell a Wild is. Is this some lame attempt to be enigmatic? Perhaps. Is it supposed to be a reflection of attitude? Have you seen these guys? They're about as wild as poker party with the English monarchy. Or maybe a hot tub party with Bea Arthur. Bar hopping with the Pope would be higher on the list of "wild" things to do. Wild? What, doing shots of chocolate milk every time Mr Dressup says tickle-trunk? Oh yeah, SUPER wild, that bunch. Super wild.
3. The Chuck Cragg Factor - How can one guy have SO much? Great family, a big unit (arguably the biggest unit on the street), a cannon for an arm, a magnet in his glove, hits for power, hits for average, scores runs, drives in runs, walks on water, runs like the wind, coached Mother Theresa on how to better herself, won a hot dog eating contest but gained no weight, turned an unassisted triple play, has been on the space shuttle, cured leprosy, was in the Karate Kid movie....etc..etc..etc. ENOUGH Chuck, enough! Really, save something for the rest of us to do!
4. The Definite Article - So I'm looking at the standings. 1. Dusty Cleats, 2. Lucky Stiffs, 3. Brew Jays, 4. The Wild. "The" Wild? How come they get the definite article (the) in front of their name? Is that fair in a league that 'claims' to be just and equal? Why not, "The" Dusty Cleats; "The" Lucky Stiffs; "The" Brew Jays? I'm surprised, to tell you the truth, that they haven't changed their name yet to, The Amazing Wild or The Incredible Wild. For now on in the BLOG, The Wild will only be referred to as "Wild". Unless every other team is afforded a "The" in the standings, I just feel its unfair.
5. The All Star Game Snub - I don't use this space too often to talk about myself. I REALLY try not to, but sometimes I slip up. This is one of those times and again, I really don't care. I wrote about last year's all-star team and here is what I said: "When they were asked to pick and coach the all star team they were handed somewhat of a losing proposition. We have 168 guys in our league. They were bound to leave people off that others thought should be on. You simply can`t make everyone happy. That being said, I think they picked a great team and handled the job seriously and with integrity" As Alice Cooper said, "no more Mr. nice guy". Here I am defending the selections (which were good), cheering them on, ignoring the fact that I had been snubbed and taking the high road. I figured, 'just be good about it', because they can't possibly leave me off two years in a row, could they? So this year I've played some short stop (respectably), played 3rd at a near Chris Larkin level, played, 2nd, 1st, the outfield and caught. I've had diving stops and some good throws. My average is down a bit, but I've hit a home run (inside the park) and pulled the ball (twice). Seriously. What else do I have to do? Mark Doyle (difficult to get along with, no versatility) or Doug Dwyer? Unreal.
6. The Derryl Gaudet Factor - Is there a bigger "smack-talker" in this league? Derryl is the kind of guy that makes Gary Cox whimper in the corner. Hugh Armstrong actually went home in tears one night because of Derryl. Some say he goes too far, but its really not that part of his game that bothers me most. The real issue is the overwhelming intimidation on the mound. In our 24-3 loss against Wild (notice there was no "The", screw 'em) earlier this year. Derryl hit three of our batters over the first two innings. Don't tell me that was an accident. Our guys were understandably nervous and backed off the plate a bit. Derryl would just drill the outside of the board; just out of reach of our bats. I mean, we're playing with guys who are into their 70's for god sakes and Derryl throws a wicked fast, lob ball. It stings.
7. The Stats - I used to believe that Wild just meandered along and didn't think too much about stats. That would be more wrong. From a team perspective its easy to be lulled into the sense that the Cleats are dominant, followed by the Stiffs and Jays. They have lots of wins, so it makes sense, right? No one ever thinks of Wild. And why is that? Because they just hover around .500 and they don't make anyone too worried; but if you'd looked at the stats, you would be very worried indeed! One of the real signs of being dominant is winning by 10 or more runs. First, there are only 3 teams that have not experienced a double digit loss this year, they are the Dusty Cleats, Lucky Stiffs and Wild. So from a 'not being smoked' standpoint, they are the equal of the best in the league. Second, looking at double digit wins, they have 4. This is the same number as the Dog Catchers. The Cleats have 3, Jays and Stiffs 2 each. Third, if you combine the two numbers, Wild remain +4. The Cleats are second at +3. The Dog Catchers, Grisslies and Stiffs are the only other teams above zero. So Wild win big and lose by little. They are never out of games.
8. More Stats - So if you think that point #7 is a sketchy or just a fluke...consider that there are only 5 teams that show up on the (+) side of that ranking. Those teams "should" be pretty decent. So how have Wild done against the others in this group? Well they've only played 3 games so far and here are the results: Wild 24, Grisslies 3; Wild 6, Dusty Cleats 13; Wild 8, Dog Catchers 6. A 2-1 record and a +13 run differential. I'd say they're holding their own.
9. Stats part III - Charles Cragg IV is in the top 25 in hitting; obviously. Actually he's in 12th spot in the league nestled between Steve "Hutch" Ross and Mike "The Talk Show" Douglas; that can't be comfortable. But....Chuckles isn't even leading his team in hitting. Nope, its not enough for Wild to have their starting short stop in the top 12 in hitting, but they also have Dave McGovern in the #4 spot hitting a wicked .837. The rich just keep getting richer. Everyone gets excited about the Woody's having three players in the top 10, but this is just another convenient distraction that Wild throw at you. They actually lead the league in hitting as a team, followed closely by the Woody's, but they are still number one. Wild's diversionary tactics are legendary. They have mastered the ability to be dominant while deflecting the attention to other people and teams.
10. The Tree Factor - Bob Vaughn and John Tessier on the corners? Yeah, this is fair. Why not just bring out two redwood trees? You think the foul lines are covered with those two giants out there? They take up so much room with their ridiculous wing-spans that Chuck has to pretty much play right over the 2nd base bag. Papa John and Uncle Bobby are both gentlemen, but on the field, they flip the switch. I wouldn't put them in the Derryl Gaudet category of intimidation tactics...but they're in the neighbourhood. This doesn't even count Wayne Caldwell who can cover 3/4 of the outfield.
THE SPEECH
Sometimes stats lie. Here is an example. Mickey Mannell (Jim, for those of you who don't know his nickname) has an OBA that is no reflection of his contribution to the team. Mickey has been rocking the ball lately and has legitimately been robbed much more than the average guy on the team.
Rob thought it was time to call out Mickey and his stick work. To that I say, Great Call!!! Here's Rob Farah singing Hit 'em with your best shot....follow along: MUSIC
Hit 'Em With your best shot
Well you're the real tough hitter with a long history
Of breaking little hearts, like with Andy Gee's
That's okay let's see how you do it
Grab your bat and lets get down to it
Hit him with your best shot
C'mon Mickey Mannell, hit him with your best shot
Hit him with your best shot
Swingin' away!
You're up to bat with your glove on, you have a lot of flair
But that's okay, just take some care
Knock down pitchers, can cause some pain
But you'll get right back up on your feet again
Hit him with your best shot
C'mon on Mickey Mannell and hit him with your best shot
Hit him with your best shot
Swingin' away
Well you're a real cool hitter with a long history
Of breaking little hearts, like that Bell, Sandy
Before you put another notch in the bat rack case
Lets get you back in the batting race
Hit him with your best shot
C'mon Mickey Mannell, and hit him with your best shot
Hit him with your best shot
Swingin' away
THE GAME
Yes....Wild.
Please don't be shocked by this, but Wild won!!!! I know, I'm freakin' reeling.
The game started with Wild getting a 3 run homer (sort of) from St. Chuck, but the Grisslies answered in the bottom of the inning when Jimmy The Wad, Dave Argue and Dougie Fresh came around to score.
Wild scored 2 more runs on liner to right field in the second and a ball that tuned our first baseman into a pretzel in the third.
The Grisslies only counted two more runs for the remainer of the game and ended up dropping a 7-5 decision. All in all it was an excellently played defensive games by both sides. Sadly, all the Grisslies thought it would be a great idea to hit to Chuck Cragg who made 20 of the 21 outs required for the vicory. Well done Chuck.
Tony and Ed mentioned that they have a lot of guys on holidays coming up but they won't be calling for subs. They will borrow a catcher from the other team and have Derryl pitch, Chuck at Short and Tessier at 1st
Sounds like a winning formula.
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