BONUS BLOG: Week 13 in Review

INTRO

Well, due to technical issues, it looks like the Weakly Supplement is dead for a while.  I would still like to take the opportunity to highlight scores, good play and unique events, so I'll do it in the form of a weekly write up starting right here.  If anything of interest happens in your game, please shoot me an email and let me know.  There is only so much I can get from game sheets. 

GAME 1

VS.

The Torn Ligaments were in one of those "hot patches" when they faced off against the Rusty Rebels.  The Rebels had been in the middle of a LONG season before they jumped up and won the Help The Kids Tournament.  Apparently, they like winning and wasted no time in keeping it going!  They scored 6 runs in the first and decided to do it again the second for a 12 - 2 lead after two innings.  In the third inning Hugh Armstrong scored his third run of the game.  After receiving oxygen he doubled again in the fifth.  The Ligaments had a bat around inning in the third scoring 7, but that was all she wrote.  The final score was 18 - 11 as the Rebels improved to 4 - 13 and the Ligaments fell to 9 - 8. 
Perfect Nights
Steve Grenkie 4/4; 2 runs
Hugh Armstrong, 4/4; 3 runs
Don Booth, 4/4 3 runs
Al (Bones) Nicholl, 4/4; 2 runs

GAME 2

VS.

There are a lot of similarities between the Red Dogs and the Banshees.  They both play hard, they're both around the middle of the standings, and they're both unpredictable.  Oh...and they can both hit a bit.  The Red Dogs started this game by having their first 5 players reach base and score.  That was followed by the Banshees scoring 5 in the bottom of the inning.  The Red Dogs would score 3 in the second as Doris scored for the second consecutive inning.  The 15 runs that the Red Dogs scored was enough to win a lot of games, but not when the Banshees countered with 22 of their own.  The Banshees kept pace scoring 5 in the third, pulled away with 5 more in the fourth and rubbed salt in the wounds with 7 in the fifth.  Mike and Lance both had the hat-trick, scoring in three consecutive innings!  The Red Dogs fall to 7 - 10 and the Banshees climb to 6 - 8 - 3.

Perfect Nights

Steve Brooks, 3/3; 1 run

Bob Candy, 3/3; 1 run

Scott Peters, 4/4; 3 runs

Randy Rose, 4/4; 2 runs

Lance Horgan, 4/4; 3 runs

Frank Laird, 4/4; 2 runs

GAME 3

VS.

Let's face it, the Hurtin' Units have been reeling.  And this isn't me being mean (which I'm fully capable of), you can ask them...they'll agree.  Wild on the other hand have been piecing together lineups with subs, chicken wire and spit and finding ways to win.  This had all the signs of a beat down.  The Units started with 3 in the first and Wild responded as they usually do by answering with 5.  But then the Units started going CRAZY!!!  James Taylor led of the second with a hit and the nine guys following him did exactly the same as they scored 7.  The would get 4 more in the third to stretch the lead to 14 - 7.  then all hell broke lose in the fifth as the Hurtin' Units had ANOTHER stretch of ten consecutive batters reaching safely and scoring another 7 runs.  The Wild also rallied for a 7 spot in the 5th but it wasn't near enough as they fell 22 - 14 to the Units.  The Wild fell to 10 - 6 while the Hurtin' Units are back in the mix at 7 - 10 - 1.  

Perfect Nights

Dave McGovern, 4/4; 3 runs

Chuck Cragg, 4/4; 2 runs

Kevin Moon, 5/5; 5 runs ***

James Taylor, 4/4; 2 runs

GAME 4

VS.

The only reason I'm repeating this which was thoroughly covered in a previous blog is give credit to the Stiffs.  The Grisslies were on top in this one early, but it didn't last and the Lucky Stiffs ended up with a 7 - 4 lead through 3.  The top of the Stiffs lineup laid waste to the Grisslies with Dan Chiasson, Jens Leppa, Jerry Wallace, Kahuna, Stike, Koolhaus and Smith all on fire.  The bottom half of their lineup wasn't hurting too bad either.  This wasn't a very typical game for the Grisslies who had been playing fundamental defense since game two of the season.  fundamental mistakes are not the norm.  Fielding practise on Sunday. 

Perfect Nights

Jens Leppa, 4/4; 3 runs

Roger Burton, 4/4; 2 runs

Brad Smith, 4/4

Doug Dwyer, 4/4; 2 runs

Dave Doucette, 4/4; 1 run

Bill Sallustio, 4/4; 2 runs 

GAME 5

VS 

A rare match up of two teams going in the "right" direction!  The Woody's are solidly over .500 after a 0 - 4 start to the season and the Dog Catchers have been getting stronger as the season has moved along.  This game didn't turn out to be the predicted see-saw affair as the Dog Catchers took control of this one early, leading 9-3 after two innings and 16-3 after 3.  The Hot Tub Woody's felt their first double digit defeat since they lost to the Cleats in week 5.  The Dog Catchers prevailed in this one 22 - 10. 

Perfect Nights

Phil Glecoff, 3/3; 3 runs

Paul Doyle, 4/4; 2 runs

GAME 6

Now THIS was a see-saw affair!  Dodge City had been alternating between 14th and 15th place since early in the season.  The Joints were in that pool near the bottom but had found some wins lately to go along with a series of heart breaking loses.  The stats, which apparently suck, would have favoured the joints in this game as their average run differential per game was a full 2 runs better than the Rounders.  But that's why they play the games.  The Rounders and Joints traded single runs in the first and joints countered with 7 in the second and Dodge answered with 6 of their own.  The Dislocated Joints went ahead 13 - 7 after three and scored 3 more in the fourth and 4 four more in the fifth, bringing their total to 20 runs on the night!  The Dodge City Rounders kept plodding along.  After getting shut out in the third, they matched the joints 3 and 4 spots in the fourth and fifth to make it 20-14 in favour of the Joints after five complete.  Then the Rounders started hitting and playing defence.  They would get 4 in the 6th to get within 20-18 and then shut out the Joints in the bottom of the inning.  They they had 11 men come bat in the seventh scoring another six runs.  In the bottom of the seventh the Joints got a couple of base runners but nary a run as Dodge came back and held on for a 24 - 20 win!
Perfect Nights
Al Fry, 5/5; 3 runs
Don Swabuk, 5/5; 4 runs
DTBB Bill Brown, 5/5

GAME 7

Every time I see a Dusty Cleats game sheet, I'm have "Rolling on a River" playing in my head.  "Big wheel keep on turning....".  And turn it did.  Again.  For the 17th time.  In a row.  A full recap probably isn't very necessary in a 25-8 game.  The Cleats rolled for 6 in the first and second innings.  The Beer Bros got two in the first and one in the second.  It wasn't pretty.  The good news for the Beer Bros is the return of Dennis Short who went 3/4.  Dane almost had a "Kevin Moon" night as he was 6/5 with 5 runs scored. 
Perfect Nights
Mark Doyle, 4/4; 4 runs
Scott Barton, 6/6, 3 runs
Gord Robinson, 6/6; 3 runs
Robin Dickson, 5/5; 3 runs

GAME 8

The Brew Jays have a crazy deceptive record.  With their two ties it makes them a little tough to read...are they 'really' 10 - 5 and in there with the likes of The Stiffs, Wild and Woody's?  Or are they 'really' 8 - 7 and more comparable to the teams in the 7th to 11th slot?  Surely though they were better than the Rebels who came into the week at 3 - 13!  Right?  Right?  Well Steve Grenkie would lead off off with a single for the Rebels and come around to score.  That would be the only Rusty Rebel run through the first four innings.  The Brew Jays had a monster rally in the fourth inning to tie the game at one when Rod Duggan scored.  The Brew Jays then took the lead when Cal scored in the 5th inning.  However, the Rusty Rebels scored a week's worth of runs in their half of the 5th when they counted 4 runs.  A five 5 - 2 lead for the Rebels against the Brew Jays with two innings to play.  Having seen the Brew Jays engineer two massive comebacks in the seventh inning this year, I would still take them in a bet at this point of the game.  I would have, of course, lost.  Rod would lead off the next inning with a hit that was followed by 3 consecutive force outs.  The same happened in the seventh after a Cal lead off hit.   The final in what was a defensive gem was 5 - 2 for the Rusty Rebels!
Perfect Nights
Jim MacDonald, 4/4
Dave Bateman, 4/4
Ken Doan, 3/3
Cal Russel, 3/3; 1 run
Steve Grenkie, 3/3; 2 runs

GAME 9

So this game saw a first for me.  A hand written score sheet that was put together on lined three holed punch paper.  Swear to god.  And you know what, it was the neatest, easiest to read scorecard I've had all year.  This was the second game this week for both the Torn Ligaments and the Dislocated Joints.  Both had fallen to teams below them in the standings and both were clearly pissed!  The Joints came out blazing with Lou, Dennis, Neil Gary and Terry scoring in the first inning.  Dennis and Neil had the rare father / son double by also scoring in the second ... and the fourth .... and the 6th....  Holy cow it was the Pendlebury show as they combined to go 9/10 with 8 runs scored!!!  The Joints led 7 - 0 after two and the Torn Ligaments didn't get on the board until Andy Gee drove in their first run in the 4th.  A four run rally in the seventh by the Ligaments did little to take the sting out the 20 - 8 schooling at the hands of the Joints. 
Perfect Nights
Andy Gee, 4/4; 1 run
Neil Pendlebury, 5/5; 4 runs
Gary Basso, 5/5; 4 runs

GAME 10

The Lucky Stiffs had their second game this week against a team around the middle of the pack.  After dispatching the Grisslies with relative ease, the set their sights on the Banshees.  This game started as a defensive affair with the Banshees sporting a 3 - 1 lead after 3 innings.  The Stiffs continued to plod along getting one in the fourth and and two in the fifth.  There was no indication that the Lucky Stiffs brought their bats having only scored 4 total runs through five innings.  Meanwhile the Banshees were in the same boat scoring 4 through five with Anicete scoring half the runs.  Then the sixth happened.  The first two Stiffs reached base and then the next two made outs before 7 run two out rally went in the books.  A close game was blown wide open.  The Stiffs would pile on with 5 more in the seventh to remove all doubt.  The Banshees didn't lie down thought as the scored two in their half of the sixth and scratched out another in the seventh. 
Perfect Nights
Mike Roche, 4/4; 1 run
Simon Smith, 3/3; 1 run
Lance Horgan, 3/3; 1 run
Roger Burton, 5/5; 3 runs

GAME 11

Earlier this week the Hot Tub Woody's finally tasted defeat, and it was the Dog Catchers that beat them 22 - 10.  This game was a make up of a previous game and the Dog Catchers seemed to the one team that could trip up the Woody's.   The Woody's did not look at all like themselves getting shut out through 2 while giving up 6 in that span.  The Woody's finally woke up in the third and scored 4 followed by 5 in the sixth.  It wasn't enough for the lead though as the Dog catchers were riding Anicete's hot 'sub' bat rolling another 5 in their half of the fourth.  An 11 - 9 Catchers lead after 5 in a tight game.  The fifth closed with Dancey getting the hat-trick by scoring a run for the third consecutive inning.  Its funny how the last game of the week is so often the best one too.  The Dog Catchers led 12 - 12 after six and then added 2 more runs in the top of the seventh to lead 14 - 12.    The Woody's had one on and 2 out when Ed Hopkins, Mike Douglas and Jeff Dancey all reached and "The" Art "of hitting" Sagert drove in winning run.  Make the final Hot Tub Woody's 15 Dog Catchers 14

Perfect Nights

Randy Hipkin, 4/4; 3 runs

Anicete Goncalves, 4/4; 3 runs

Phil Glecoff, 4/4; 1 run

Al Hayward, 4/4; 1 run

Mike Douglas, 4/4; 3 runs

Jeff Dancey, 4/4 3 runs

OTHER BASEBALL NOTES

*  I've always been a huge Albert Pujols fan, both the ball player and his character, but that's a story for another day.  Anyway, Pujols got his 2000th career hit this week.  According to the Elias Sports Bureau, he got his 2000th hit in his 6093rd at bat while having 431 career home runs.  The only other person to reach 2000 in fewer at bats with as many home runs was George Herman Ruth in 1929.  (better known as babe).

*  Recent Blue Jays moves:  I really like them all.  The concentration now has to be on the rotation and the back end of the bull pen.  They are locked down in the outfield for years to come and the infield will be solid once Lawrie moves up and Hill moves on.  Both will happen before spring training 2012. 

Next BLOG on Tuesday August 2nd.

BONUS BLOG: Fan Appreciation Night!!!

Hey folks, the Grisslies annual fan appreciation night will be here soon and there are still a few good seats left. This year we will be joined by the Hurtin' Units who are co-sponsors of the evening.  As per usual, there will be snacks and cold beverages supplied by your sponsors and fabulously entertaining baseball!

Fan Appreciation applies to players and supporters of the league....not just the Grisslies or Hurtin' Units.   

You might be asking yourself, "should I go or not"?  Let me help.  You should go and here are 102 reasons why.  One or two have to apply:  

1. Because these guys are swingers!!!
2. Because you can win free stuff, like autographed game balls, game-worn jerseys, a signed broken yellow bat, autographed Freddy Mercury stuff!
3. Sir Robert Hayward, Master of Mayhem, 'nuff said.
4. Because its a lot like NASCAR, we only turn left too.
5. Because chicks dig the long ball!
6. Because we go to the Legion. The Legion has beer. Beer is cool. Therefore we are cool. You can be cool by extension.
7. Because at some point this year Rene Stephane will snap. You don't want to miss THAT game, do you?
8. Because there has yet to be an episode of "America's funniest home videos" that can live up to Doug Dwyer's antics in the throw around before an inning.
9. Because Bill Sallustio can really handle the stick, if you know what I mean.
10. Because its a lot like a train wreck. Who doesn't like a good train wreck?

11. Because after every run we score we break into dance. No team does "the swim" or "the monkey" like the Grisslies. No none! Anywhere! Ever!
12. Because Sue Farah has choreographed a whole new cheer leading number!
13. Because it beats the hell out of hockey! (so does timbit soccer, but whatever)
14. Because Jay-Z is a massive fan ours. Massive! Odds are that he and 'whats her name' will be there.
15. Because Michelle Farah can start the wave like nobody's business.
16. Because we are the official Lob-ball team of Fraser Avenue (north side)
17. Because we have funny stuff on our own BLOG. If there is a better use of the Internet, I don't know what that could possibly be.
18. Because we know all the words to Bohemian Rhapsody (in GERMAN!)
19. Because 10 out of 12 Grisslies have nice Fresh, Minty Breath.
20. Because Rob will do a speech. It will NOT suck.

21. Jerry Muirhead? One Word.  Speed To Burn
22. Because the Grisslies have never been known to cause disease, unless you consider red-hot lust for a man in a grey baseball jersey to be a disease.
23. Because if you haven't seen Dave Argue in baseball in pants, then you're wasting your gift of sight. That will make god very unhappy indeed.
24. Because three out of every four doctors recommend us in the treatment of constipation
25. Because we know the words to most any ABBA song you can think of - wait maybe that's not something we should admit to.
26. Because there is a reasonable chance that at least one Grisslie will be dressed as Captain America
27. Because "business casual" to the Grisslies means its okay to "go commando"
28. Because Mickey Mannell has great stories. Like how he quit the space program because he found out that going to the moon wouldn't count toward his air miles.
29. Because Mickey also missed watching the 1st moon landing because he was watching a double episode of Mannix and Ironside.
30. Because you'll get insight into what was going through Sir Rob Hayward's head when he dropped the fly ball a few weeks back, Example of Rob's thought pattern..."Deep fly...Tracking...Tracking...Hey...Does that kid have ice cream? Tracking....tracking....hmmmm chocolate....tracking....its hot out....trac...I could really go for some ice cream...tr....hmmmm....t...DOH!

31. Because you can get black market cigarettes under the stands.
32. Because we can turn triples into singles...all...night...long....
33. Because we've guaranteed that there will be no Kardashians!
34. Because Jimmy The Wadd is very likely to do his rock and roll duty
35. Because Dave DCMT Doucette can only play the infield.  The outfield is out of range for his ankle bracelet.
36. Because Gord Robertson will do the dance that got him to the finals on Dancing with the stars (between the 2nd and 3rd innings)
37. Because the Oscar is being renamed the Grisslie; in honour of our ability to act like ball playing circus bears.
38. You can see if Rob Farah announces his retirement. He keeps asking himself, "what would Brett Farve do?"
39. Because there will be no fear of violence. Street punks never come around out of fear of Grisslie wrath.
40. Because there are spits

41. Because its guaranteed win night, unless we forget to carry the 1.
42. Because We've invited Dr. Phil as a special guest!
43. Because you can watch us ridicule the special guest with stupid southern phrases between the 3rd and forth innings. (e.g. Why, you're more nervous than a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs...)
44. Because all Grisslies are within six degrees of separation from Kevin Bacon. Jerry Muirhead is closest at two.
45. Because its a cavalcade of fun!
46. Because Grisslies are 8 - 5 at Keogh Park.
47. Because Grisslies are 6 - 2 in 8:15 games.
48. Because Grisslies are 5 - 1 in 8:15 games at Keogh Park.
49. When the Grisslies last played the Hurtin' Units they won 19-3.  It was an 8:15 game at Keogh Park.  Eerie!
50. Because Grisslies win or your money back.
51. Because no Grisslies fear the reaper.

52. Because there is absolutely nothing better to do that night (unless you have a date at Red Lobster with coconut shrimp bites.)
53. Because you can talk to Steph Simard....he won't shut up about the new Beastie Boys album.
54. Because you can get an autograph from Bill Sallustio (he does smiley faces over the "i"s)
55. Because nearly all the Grisslies were born after the Renaissance period.
56. Because Rob's dad with be there putting Frank's Red Hot sauce on his hot dog. He puts that SH*T on everything!
57. Hey, do you want to see it live or wait a day to see it on YouTube?
58. Because you can watch Steph Simard and DCMT argue over which one of them is 'prettier'.
59. Because you can listen to Bob Smith tell you about when he gave away the bride at the royal wedding.
60. Because you can hear Jerry Muirhead's catchphrase for Bill Sallustio, "what you talking about Billis!"
61. Because the game will start with Mannell, Robertson, Argue and Hayward around the horn in the infield. The tallest freak show this side of Barnum and Baily.

62. Because you can hear Rob Farah snicker every time he gets two balls on the batter.
63. Because Mickey Mannell will reveal the DNA testing proving once and for all that Oprah is his half sister.
64. Because if for any reason the game is cancelled, your ticket will be good admission to another Grisslie game before season's end (equal to 4 Wild games)
65. Because we use performance enhancers....and I ain't talking 'bout no 'roids.
66. Because you'll see that Jerry Muirhead is actually a triplet! His sisters Mary-Kate and Ashley plan to attend.
67. Because if we win we're going Dairy Queen!!!
68. Because if we lose we're going to Dairy Queen!!!
69. Because you can listen to Mickey Mannell tell you about his brief and stormy marriage with Loni Anderson.
70. Because you can hear Sir Rob Hayward tell you about the "pros" of plastic surgery.
71. Because you'll see that Jimmy the Wadd usually plays the 1st inning in sandals.

72. Because you'll hear the latest Hollywood movie movie gossip; Steph Simard to star in "The Lord of the Onion Rings".
73. Jim Hunter stars in; "Silence all The Lambs"
74. Rob Farah stars in: "Lawrence of Asthma"
75. Because there are no homeless people begging outside the park. (not that there is anything wrong with that, unless you think there is - up to you)
76. Because Bob Smith speaks parcel-mouth (can talk to snakes).
77. Because If you were to a bet on a game, would you bet on a "hurtin' unit" or the "GRISSLIE"!
78. Because you can listen to Gord Robertson explain how he once proposed with a white board and dry erase markers.
79. Because you can listen to Bill Sallustio's brilliant idea for the weather network to change the 5 day forecast to the 5 day fivecast!
80. Because you can come see Rob Farah....AKA, the 6th Jackson.
81. Because Baseball + Drinking + Screaming + Vomiting = Good Times.

82. Because every Grisslie will be wearing the #48 in celebration of some guy who once wore #4. 12 Guys X #4 = 48. Pretty touching.
83. Because at least two plays from this game will be included in JackAss 4D.
84. Because we'll be presenting Rob Farah with a "Captain Kirk" chair.
85. Because if you enjoyed the drama of watching the Chilean miners being trapped, wait until you see the Hurtin' Units!
86. Because if you don't watch the game live, you'll have to watch it on FOX which means listening to John Buck, who has just been hired as the international cure for insomnia.
87. Because we are testing a change for this game.....instead of the 'crack of the bat', we're going to have a cartoonish "BOIIINNNG" with every hit.
88. Because this game is NOT available on satellite.
89. Because you can see what the Grisslies look like BEFORE 3 hours at the legion.
90. Because there will be a "build your own pizza" station in left-center field.
91. Because the Grisslies do a better dance number than the Cheerios! And don't pretend that you don't know what I'm talking about.

92. Because the Grisslies have acquired the services of Justin Beiber as batboy for the night.
93. Because the Grisslies have acquired the services of the Travelocity gnome for the opposition batboy for the night.
94. Because the rumours I'm hearing go like this, "Sir Rob Hayward and Bill Sallustio for the Yellow bat and Chris Larkin".
95. Because you can hear how the Grisslies communicate without the opposition know what they're saying. (they speak Yiddish)
96. Because you'll be eating meat in the stands.
97. Because one Lucky Fan will win a Carnival Cruise***!!!!!!!!!!!
98. Because Gord and Jerry do a MEAN- ASSED puppet show
99. Honestly? You need an excuse for a night out?
100. Because Muirhead is bringining home made venison jerky!
101. It will be really freakin' cool when the Grisslies kick the %^&* out of the Hurtin' Units!"

102. Because you've never seen Jimmy Mannell play Catcher while sitting in a lawn chair???

It doesn't matter WHY you come out....just come out!!!  It'll be good times.

GAME 18: I Hate France

INTRO

History, Politics and Geography. 

France, the country that is; is pissed.  Super pissed actually and it looks like this one could get ugly. 

As the title implies there are various forces at play here and they are so intermingled that they are impossible to talk about them separately.  And as per usual, the buck stops in Tottenham, Ontario. Where to begin....

Lets start with the Treaty of Paris in 1814.  As part of that agreement with England, a part of Canada (an English colony at the time) was ceded to France.  If this comes as a surprise to you, then you didn't pay nearly enough attention in Mr. Peloso's Grade 8 history class.

France assumed the islands of St. Pierre and Miquelon later that year and still controls them today.  They are located off of the southern most tip of Newfoundland.  In fact, if you have been to High Beach, Point May or Lamaine Newfoundland you have been with 20 KMs of France. Also, directly West of these islands about 200 KM over water is Cape Breton.  Its long been rumoured that Danny Chiasson won a bet by swimming between Cape Breton and St. Pierre and Miquelon.  (for the record, Danny says he also swam back.)  Believe it or not.

So, big deal, right?  Let's jump forward about 160 years or so.

France decided to do something interesting for the first time since they thought that serving wine with cheese would be a good idea; and formed an organization called the G-6 in 1976.  This brought together the most dominant economies of the day in France, The US, England, Germany, Japan and Italy.  Of course, Canada was horrified by being excluded and was quite public about.

Many members of the G-6 vowed to find out exactly where Canada was and make an example of these Canadese people.  Fortunately France (I know) intervened on our behalf, stemmed the tide AND got us brought into the G-6 (now the G-7) the very next year.

But at what cost? As with all of these 'agreements' there are always side agreements, back-room discussions and quiet handshakes. 

In exchange for entry into the G-7, it was widely speculated that Pierre Elliot Trudeau would get Maggie to ask Mick Jagger to play a free concert under the Eiffel tower.  That was apparently incorrect. 

THE REAL DEAL was that Canada promised France entry into NORAD.  Now why the hell would France want into NORAD anyway?  Two reasons.  The first is that France is much better known for fondus than it is for technology.  They saw this as a way for themselves to get their hands on state of the art stuff with a minimal investment.  Kind of like inviting your friend over for dinner because he always brings good wine, but you serve pork and beans.  Minimal investment, rich reward.

The second reason was slightly more noble and that was to protect the citizens of France that live on the islands of St. Pierre and Miquelon.  So....long story short (too late) Canada failed to make any inroads with the US for France's inclusion. 

There are some valid reasons for this.  One and probably the most important was that US had grave concerns over one country simultaneously holding access to nuclear technology and the secrets to poutine; and rightfully so.  Their argument was that the St. Pierre and Miquelon were surrounded on all borders by Canada so they were protected by default. 

It looked like this would fade away until the St. Pierre and Miquelon ambassador to Canada piped up, with these inflammatory statements.  "Oui 're not scared of Canada.  You don't frighten us, 'anglish pig dogs. Go and boil your bottoms, you sons of a silly person. I blow my nose at your, so-called 'Stephanne 'arper, you and all your silly 'anglish words that start wit' 'KN'.  Do you not k-now d'os words ar' unpronounceable?  You bunch of k-nobs!"

Of course this didn't sit well with English Canada.  And while Quebec was having a good laugh at the rest of Canada's expense, the St. Pierre and Miquelon ambassador to Canada fired this volley, "an' as for dos Quebecois, I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wipers. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries."

In an emergency session of the House of Commons, (yes they met for a second day one month) they called for the immediate removal of the ambassador from his post and his extradition to Canada on charges of hate mongering.

France, using their strong track record in the 'spy-game', quickly built a huge loaf of bread made out plywood and attempted to smuggle the ambassador out in "Operations Trojan French Stick". 

The plan was flawless until they got to Canadian customs where the customs officer attempted to take a bite of the French Stick and was left with a mouth full of splinters.  The plan unraveled from there and the ambassador was apprehended and brought in to feel the wrath of Canada's speedy, unrelenting and stiff brand of justice. 

After a 6 year trial, the ambassador was found to be not guilty on all chargers and successfully sued the government for the lost income due to all those years sitting in jail waiting for his trial.  Canada is a sharp country though and we don't allow non-citizens to sue our government.  So the millions that the ambassador was awarded sat in limbo.  The ambassador, being no fool himself applied for Canadian citizenship which was granted to him immediately.  Strangely, the immigration department and the legal affairs department didn't talk to each other.  Who knew?   Now, finally he was able to sue successfully and become another fabulously wealthy Canadian. 

And like many fabulously wealthy or fabulously famous people in this country, they tend to relocate to Tottenham.  And then drawn like a bear to a magnet, they join the Tottenham Old timers League.  And what are the odds that this former ambassador of St. Pierre and Miquelon to Canada would be drafted by the Grisslies in his rookie year and have a Captain that just LOVES to exploit a person's past? 

And by now it is obvious that the former ambassador is none other than.....

Stephane Simard

TABERNAC!

And like Paul Harvey used to say; "Now you know....the rest of the story!"

THE SPEECH

When Rob heard I was going to carve up Rene Stephane Simard again, he wanted to do something 'French' for the speech.  He thought first of "l'affaire Doumoutier" by The Box (a personal favourite of mine)...but it was kinda hard to work through.  Then he tried the Mistu classic "Bye Bye Mon Cowboy".  Again, it just didn't work.  He remembered that Corey Hart was from Montreal, but that too seemed like a cop out.  But then it hit him.  Men Without Hats and their 80's dance club staple "Safety Dance", which is now called "I hate France".

I don't know if I EVER saw the team quite so jacked as when Robby Farah pulled this number off in the dugout last night.  For music CLICK ME

SAFETY DANCE

We can hate France if we want to
We can leave your friends behind
'Cause your friends like France and if they like France
Well they're, no friends of mine

Say, we can go where we want to
But the ball park will do just fine
And we can act like we come from out of this world
Dive for balls hit down the line

And we hate France - - - "Frenchie!!!"

We can go when we want to
Night is young and so am I
And we can dress real neat from our caps to our cleats
And surprise them with a victory cry

Say, we can act if we want to
If we don't the Brew Jays will
And you can act real rude and totally removed
And I can act like an imbecile

And say
We hate France, we hate France
Everythings out of control
We hate France, we hate France
Even St. Pierre and Miquelon

And say
We hate France, we hate France
Every things out of control
We hate France, we hate France
Even St. Pierre and Miquelon

Its detesting France
Oh well I detest it in France
Yes I detest it in France

We can hate France if we want to
All they've got is cheese and wine
Its okay to abuse 'em, you'll never manage to amuse 'em
Everything will work out right

We can hate France if we want to
We can leave your friends behind
'Cause your friends like France and if they like France
Well they're, no friends of mine

And say
We hate France, we hate France
Every things out of control
We hate France, we hate France
Even St. Pierre and Miquelon

Its detesting France
Oh well I detest it in France
Yes I detest it in France
Yes I detest it in France

THE GAME

Versus

This game sucked. 

Well, not entirely, but mostly.  Lets start with me for a change.  4 for 4!  Nice!  2 runs scored!  Nice! Sweet pick up on the run behind second and getting the runner going to third!  Nice!

Then lets see....the double play that wasn't.  I could probably STILL throw it and get the out.  Note for future, they were yelling "GO", not "NO".  Crap.  Then what else...several balls that got through me, over me or around me a 2nd.  Crap.  And then the coup de gras was the misplayed ball in Center field.  I wouldn't need too many of those plays back to turn this "L" into a "W". 

So... Beyond that we had special guests from out of province as Rene Steph Simard's family was granted a temporary pass into Ontario.  Sadly, it expires tomorrow, and they have to return or face deportation.  The Grisslies presented Steph's mom with flowers (and a I think a few whistles?). 

We got off to a great start in this one with our first 4 batters getting on and scoring.  We sent 9 men to the plate in the 1st inning and seemed to be on a roll.  The Stiffs counted a single in the 1st as Farah struck out one and no one hit to me (whew).  We held the 4-1 lead after two, but in the bottom of the 3rd the Stiffs took out the heavy lumber.  After their 1st batter made an out, the next 6 reached and scored!  A gapper by Koolhaus was the death knell. 

The rest of the way we were fighting up hill.  Never giving up, but never really getting back in it.  We counted 2 in the fourth, 2 in the fifth, 3 in the sixth and 2 more in the seventh, but it only added up to a 16-13 loss.  Last time they beat us 7-2; so I guess we can say we narrowed the gap some. 

I just hope Bob is back if we face them in the playoffs and we can have everyone in the right spot. 

The Stiffs are pretty good, although the right fielder is as annoying as hell.  Of note for the bad guys, Mr. Chiasson was 3/4 with 3 runs scored, Jens Leppa was 4/4 with 3 runs scored, The Kahuna was 3/4 Paul Koolhaus was 3/4 and Brad Smith 4/4. 

Well done. 

Check out the 3 Stars



BONUS BLOG: The Vent, Some Stats, Some Changes

HERE WE GO!

 It happens at least once a year...the day I wake up and hate the friggin' BLOG.  Usually its because it starts to take over my life.  Not so much this time.

This year it arrived a little differently in the form of a crashed computer.  The good fortune is that the Laptop was recovered and workable.  The data, pictures, music and applications were sadly....not recoverable.

So, where does this leaves things?  The BLOG is fine because none of it was resident on the Laptop.  'Some' bits and pieces that I had been putting together are lost, but nothing too tragic. 

From a stats stand point I lost them all.  I am able to recover what I've mailed out to people, so our week over week OBA's and Standings are intact.  But all the other stuff that I had done (Runs and various value equations) are gone.   Those will take a complete rebuild and I think that's pretty doubtful; although I did some stuff around standings. 

The big victim is the weakly supplement.  The application I bought to build those little movies is gone.  Reacquiring the app isn't actually that big of deal, but it took weeks to build the set (as rudimentary as it was) so I don't know if I can afford to go down that road again from a time stand point.  I will write a weekend summary for the balance of the season and throw in a few pictures and logos that I can find.  But I think my movie making days are over for a while.    

Okay that's it for my bitter rant.  I wanted to take a quick look at the standings because:  a) I was late getting the stats in for obvious reasons and they are probably late going up because of that and b) I'm not a big fan of the way we do standings, as I may have noted before.  The whole "points" thing isn't the best reflection of where we are in the season.  I'm more a GBL (games behind leader) guy as a 'point in time' view where your team is.  Anyway, there are a lot of different data points here, but none are perfect on their own.  As a package?  Not too bad. 

ABOVE:    Current standings as they appear on the Website, based on points.

ABOVE:  Standings based on most wins.

 ABOVE:  Standings based on Fewest losses

1. 

ABOVE:  Your total runs scored.  divided by your team's number of games played.

ABOVE:  Rankings based on average runs allowed per game.

• Your total runs allowed divided by your team's number of games played.

ABOVE:  Rankings based on average run differential per game played.

• Your Runs scored per game; subtracted by your runs allowed per game.

 ABOVE:  Standings based on winning percentage.

• I missed the rounding error on Wild.  They are obviously the same as the Woody's and Stiffs. Wins divided by games played, for the Hot Tub Woody's is 10/15 = .667
• Ties are not counted.

ABOVE:   Standings based on Games Behind Leader.

• Figuring out GBL.  Find your team (I'll use the Grisslies) and subtract your wins from the Cleats.  In our case the difference is 6. 
• Subtract the number of Cleats losses from your total number of loses.  In our case it is 7.
• Add the difference in wins to the difference in losses; again, for us it is 6+7=13.
• Divide the total in half; 13/2=6.5  Therefore the Grisslies are 6 1/2 games out of first. 
• for every tie you have in the standings add a 1/2 game to how far out you are.  For the Banshees it would be 11 (difference in wins) + 8 (difference in losses) =19/2 which is 9.5 games out of 1st place.  Add a 1/2 game 3 times for the 3 ties and you have 11 GBL.

ABOVE:  Rankings based on Magic Number

• So in case anyone hasn't figure it out...the Dusty Cleats are in a pretty good spot.  
• If by some twist of fate, they were to finish the season going 3-5 (its more likely to snow in August), then one of Wild, Hot Tub Woody's or Lucky Stiffs would have to finish 9-0.    
• So far the Dodge City Rounders, Rusty Rebels, Beer Brothers, Dislocated Joints, Banshees, Hurtin' Units and Red Dogs have been eliminated from finishing 1st overall. 
• This week could see the demise of the Dog Catchers, Torn Ligaments and Grisslies.

ABOVE:  Rankings based on Magic Number for 2nd-4th place. 

• This is where it gets complicated. 
• Wild, Hot Tub Woody's and Lucky Stiffs are in a dead heat against each other. 
• For instance:  Any total of Wild wins with Hot Tub Woody's loses equaling 10 would eliminate the Woody's from finishing in second place.  The same applies for every combination of those 3 teams against each other. 
• One of those teams would almost assuredly take second.  3rd and 4th are a little bit more of a question mark.  The likelihood of all of them going cold at the same time is pretty much nil, but one could. 
• The Brew Jays have a deceptive record and are actually in better shape than 3 teams with more wins. 
• For any of the Grisslies, Dog Catchers or Torn Ligaments to finish 2nd it would take the perfect storm of their wins and everyone else's losses.  Could happen, but I wouldn't bet a mortgage payment. 

Okay, that's it for now, see you at 6am Wednesday morning with a real BLOG.  Robbie has a special song planned!