GAME 1: A Scorer Named Sue!

Picture copyright of Kevin Boston Media Inc.

 INTRO

VS

It begins as it ended.  Grisslies versus the Dusty Cleats.  The last time they met, the Grisslies prevailed 7-5 on a glorious afternoon in September.

So, what really happened that day?

22-2 in the regular season.  6-0 in the playoffs.  One game left for an overwhelming favourite to put the cherry on top of what should have been the perfect 2011 season.

There have been whispers in the corners of the Clubhouse (Legion) that this may not have been a case of David slaying the Goliath.  No, the whispers are much more sinister than that.  Jeff M. Dancey, a local bookmaker, put the odds of a Grisslie win at 75-1 in that game.  Money was coming in so heavy on the Dusty Cleats that he had to stop accepting bets.

Many in the crowd that watched the final game were to liquored to detect many of the subtleties, but now that there has been ample time to digest, many are starting to say the “C” word. (Not that "C" word)

CONSPIRACY.

These facts have been collected after a long winter of interviewing people.  It was difficult as you can see because many people's silence has been bought and paid for.  

Consider these facts: 

• The Dusty Cleats captains were seen talking to Jeff M. Dancey mere hours before the game! 
•  Noted Dusty Cleats slugger, John L. Harrett, who was 10/11 (.909) against the Grisslies in the regular season; sat out the final game.  No explanation was given to the fans or the press! 
• Scott Q. Barton who made 8 outs all season, made 2 outs in the Final game.  That’s ¼ of a season worth of outs in a single game.   When asked, Mr Barton offered a curt, "no comment".
• Rob R. McCarron and Dave B. Fleming who had no outfield errors between them allow a ball to fall harmlessly between them.  Fleming referenced a sore shoulder while McCarron claims to have "misremembered" the play.
• Grisslies’ Gord F. Robertson, a harmless .500 hitter, goes 3 for 4, scoring 2 runs and driving in 3 runs.   He would be named the game's MVP.  Robertson has referred to this night as the most he's scored since college.
• Bo Niederhuber who was filming the game in what has come to be known as “Niederhuber film”, had his film confiscated by someone ‘claiming’ to be from the League Executive.  It has never been recovered. 
•  The Dusty Cleats who scored a League high 18.5 runs per game, manage only 5 against the Grisslies who normally allowed 11 runs to average teams.   The Dusty Cleats could have scored 10.5 runs less than their average, AND STILL WON!
• Dusty Cleats pitcher Chris H. Pulfer was “seemingly” hit in the leg by a batted ball during the game which hampered his running during later innings.  Upon being struck, his leg went back, and to the left.  Back, and to the left.  Dave Argue, a limited offensive player (at best), hit the ball batting left handed.  The spin on the batted ball “if” it hit Pulfer would have moved his leg back and to the right.  “If Pulfer was hit by something, there had to be second hitter. 
• Second batter theories abound.  The most prevalent one being that there was a second batter in the bar area.  Notable hitters Roger X. Burton and Art E. Sagert were tending bar at the time.  Both are well documented marksmen with the bats.  From the angle of the bar to the mound, Pulfer's leg would have indeed moved back, and to the left.
•  During the season the Grisslies broke their yellow bat, coincidentally this occurred in a game against the Dusty Cleats.  Photographs show the Grisslies using this bat in the finals.  The Dusty Cleats did not protest.   When pressed on the matter, none of the Dusty Cleats have any recollection of seeing the yellow bat.
•  Jason W. Jennings, thought to be the best outfielder on the team mysteriously gets “hurt” and cannot play in the final game.  No one has seen him since.
• Craig R. Beatty who had only 25 at bats during the regular season is talked into playing in the final, the most important game of the year.  He goes 1 for 4.  
• There were 126 witnesses to the final game.  53 have minimal recollections of the game.  48 of the remaining 73 have expressed some form of intimidation in relating what they really saw that day. 

The question isn’t so much “was the fix in?”  The question is:  who is powerful enough to get to the Dusty Cleats?

(Thanks to Scott Peters for planting the seeds of contempt for this story)!

THE SPEECH

Apparently, some people are new to this.  Allow me to explain.  Before every game, Robert Farah Esq, our founder and fearless leader, gathers the team around him.  We all take a knee around him and like Moses on the ark he imparts his amazing wisdom through song.  He will manipulate the lyrics of an existing song to fit a particular player, team or the league.

This week The Rob has chosen a classic to start the year.  And it would appear to be a bit of a 'tribute week'.  He's doing Johnny Cash's legendary song, "A Boy Named Sue" which he's renamed "A Scorer Named Sue".  For those of you who need the tune, open this link to play the music while you're reading the reworked lyrics.  LINK

A Scorer Named Sue

Well, her daddy played ball for a year or three
at least that's how they told the story to me
And her pitching husband has been known to take a snooze
Now I'm not sure if that's why she did what she did
But clearly the best thing she ever did
Was pick up a pen and become a scorer named Sue

Well I don't know if she thought it was a joke
And it got some laughs from those small town folk
It seems women scorers had to fight to get their due
One glass of Smirnoff and she'd get red
and some guy'd complain and she'd wish him dead
I tell ya life ain't easy for a scorer named Sue

Well she scored real quick and her eye was keen
Her pencil sharp and she wore sunscreen
She' roam from park to park to score each game
And she made a vow under those moon and stars
That she'd brave the crowds and dodge the cars
And become the official scorer of renown fame

Well it was Tottenham in mid July
At mid week game and her throat was dry
Thank god she stopped for a mountain dew
Then at the Legion sittin' there chewin' his cud
There at a table thinking he was a stud
Sat a man that didn't think much of the scorer named Sue

Well she knew that snake was badder than bad
From the post office picture that the police'd had
And there was a scar on his cheek and an evil eye
he was big and bent and grey and old
and she looked at him and her blood ran cold
and she said 'My name is Sue how do you do?
now reach for the sky!

Yeah! that's what she told him

Well he thought that he could score 'cause he had a hell of an eye
And the challenge was thrown down and to my surprise
he said, "do you know to score when the catcher interferes?"
Sue said, "you better just shut your mouth
Catcher's interference does not impact your ERA"
He said, "your right but I'm just warming up".

"The Field is filled with how many men?"
Sue just laughed and said "its ten"
he started to look nervous for a little while.
"If you're so smart explain the infield fly you wuss"
Sue says, "under 2 out and an easy fly ball with at least a runner on first"
he stood there lookin' at her and I saw him smile

And he said "Sue this world is rough
and if a scorer's gonna make it she's got to be tough
and I know you'd need a push to help you along
so I slagged you a bit or at least I tried
I knew you'd have to be good to beat a guy
and it's my badgering that made you never be wrong."

He said "Now you just fought one hell of a verbal fight
and I know you hate me and you got the right
to put me down, and I wouldn't blame you if you do
but you oughta thank me before I leave
for the knowledge in your brain and your real sharp eye
cause I motivated you to be good, you know that Sue?"

Yeah! well what could she do?
What SHOULD she do?

She got all choked up and threw down her pen
and she said, "you know you're not so dumb"
and she came away with a different point of veiw
and she'll think about him now and then
every time she scores, and every time they win
and personally, if I ever need a game scored, I'm not going to call
Bill or George or anyone else but Sue

THE GAME

Anthem Singer Christine Farah did a masterful job!

Hats doffed with respect to the flag

Dusty Cleats sportingly lined up for the pregame

 The Rob Farah addressing the masses

Sue-Z-Q setting off a rocket .... The rocket-girl!

Ahhhhhh......Opening day!  The fanfare, the crowds, the peanuts and crackerjacks.  The smell of freshly cut grass. I like how things don't change and your brought back to simpler times for opening day.  In ancient Greece they used to play naked for opening day of the baseball season.  Its probably good that some things have changed.

The Grisslies first opponents this year were their last opponents from last year.  The dreaded and vaunted Dusty Cleats.  It was pretty obvious from Draft Day that Pully and Dane came into this season on a mission.  I don't mind saying that there were 14 other teams that were pretty damned intimidated when the "DUSTY CLEATS DYNASTY" sign went up at their table.

I guess the message was received loud and clear when the Cleats come through the preseason poll as one of the leagues 3 favourites.  Worried?  Damned straight we were!  They have so many strengths, its hard to run them all down.  Speed, power, defense....they've got it all.  More than anything is their baseball IQ which is off the charts!  For god sakes, they have DOYLE!  He even knows what IQ stands for!

The game started much like a continuation from last years final.  Close. 

Grisslie rookie Scott Pritchard led off with a single and came around to score the first run of the season.  Nice start.  1-0 Grisslies after one. 

The Dusty Cleats came up and quickly made two outs before, guess who, Scott Barton got on.  Doyle and Pully brought him around to score tying the game. 

The game remained 1-1 through three innings and it had the feel of a playoff game rather than the first game of the season.  The game opened up in the 4th inning when the Cleats scored four big runs.  Scott (again), Pully, Wayne Caldwell and Tim Sullivan all came through with runs.  The Grisslies finally got out of the inning leaving the bases loaded and down 5-1. 

In the Grisslie half of the inning Art Sagert, Ricky-Bobby, Lance Horgan and Jeff Sagert came through to match the Dusty Cleats output tying the game at 5's.

The Grisslie defense recovered after that facing 4 batters in the 5th, 3 in the 6th and 4 in the 7th on their way to shutting out the Dusty Cleats the rest of the way.  Offensively, the Grisslies counted 3 in the 5th and 4 in the 6th to walk away with a 12-5 win. 

A great start to the season for the Grisslies!

Grisslies Celebrate!

Check out the Three Stars of the game here ==> STARS 
Check out the Dislocated Joints game notes from DTBB ==> JOINTS
Check out the Tap Master's game notes from Jason Bowers ==> Tapped Out
Check out the Hurtin' Units BLOG ==> Hannibal Lecter
The League's Official Website ==> League