Donini Deck, Thursday July 18th, 5;30PM.
Rob: You know what we haven't really talked about?
Doug: What's that?
Rob: The Help The Kids Tournament. And you know what? That was a GREAT Help The Kids weekend!
Doug: Sure was!
Rob: You know what? I don't even care that games got canceled. I saw more people laughing at this one than I have at anyone before.
Doug: I agree....It was fantastic.
Rob: However, I think we should have an open conversation about a couple of changes. And I'm dead serious about this.
Doug: Really? Like what?
Rob: Well, for one thing....is it possible for a bank to put a temporary ATM up there?
Doug: I don't know. Good question. But I think its a bad idea.
Rob: Why?
Doug: Well I for one, probably would have bought 15 more golf shirts and been regretting it the next day. But I sure dig the one I did get!
Rob: Hmmmm. Okay. I forgot your a little loose with the funds. Okay, what about this one. We get all the teams to volunteer time to work at the bar. They could wear their team jersey and everything! I think that would be really cool.
Doug: We already do that.
Rob: No. Don't think so. I mean, guys from the SAME team, VOLUNTEERING together!
Doug: Yeah. We do that. You and I worked together.
Rob: Nope. I was alone. Well, me and that crazy big guy that kept polishing the bar ledge.
Doug: Jens?
Rob: Possibly. I'm not familiar with that name. Sounds Swedish though. And see???? This so called 'Jens'; he's not on my team!
Doug: Rob, you worked with Doris, Gord and Me.
Rob: Look, you're beating a dead duck. I don't remember any of this. How about this idea then?. A singles contest!
Doug: How would that work?
Rob: Same as the home run contest, except that you get 5 guys in the infield and 5 guys in the outfield. You get 10 pitches, not swings; 10 pitches. If its caught on the infield you get nothing. But you get 1 point for every single. But if it splits the outfielders you get a point deducted because that would be a double and you're not allowed to hit doubles. Oh, except for you, because you're really slow. A double is like a single anyway. Oh, but there's a catch!
Doug: What's the catch?
Rob: You've gotta be single to be in the singles contest.
Doug: Cute
Rob: No. I'm not kidding. Then only married guys could be in the doubles contest! Neat eh?
Doug: Yeah. So who's going in the triples contest? Might give you an interesting view of the town.
Rob: Oooooo. Never thought of that.
Doug: Any other bright ideas?
Rob: Ummmmm, Just a few about the team.
Doug: Like?
Rob: Well, I think Winston should lead off
Doug: That's a good call.
Rob: I think I should bat cleanup
Doug: Obviously.
Rob: I'm thinking Doris is the best candidate at Short Stop
Doug: A tough call, but I think its the right one.
Rob: I know we're 2 - 11 and 1, and it sounds ridiculous, but I think the team is starting to come together bit by bit.
Doug: How's that?
Rob: Dol's doing good at 1st, Hayward has been great at 3rd, Roger and Winston in Center, Murray and Brad on the corners. Its getting close. Add to that Tinkler and Springfield hitting .750 and Dave Muirhead being one of the top catchers in the league. And of course, my pitching needs no comment. Maybe I'm being overly hopeful but I think we're going to have a decent second half.
Doug: Aren't you the optimist!
Rob: OH NO!!! I'm no eye doctor, I'm just feeling good about the team.
Doug: Got ya.
Rob: But there's one thing missing.
Doug: What would that be.
Rob: Wrestling.
Doug: Did you stay wrestling?
Rob: Ya. I think its the missing ignorant.
Doug: Ingredient.
Rob: Ya. A little fight back like a wrestler and we'll be fine. You know how one wrestler is always losing bad? Just getting pummeled? He gets like 17 two counts and the other guy just can't finish him. And then he gets one lucky little break and its bam-bang-boom-boot-to-the-head-game-over!
Doug: Okay then.....how do we go about that....Cage match?
Rob: Oh...I'll leave that to you. I'm the ideas guy...you're the impedimenter.
Doug: Implementer?
Rob: Hope so.
So? Do I go with wrestlers or do go with my original BLOG idea of Zombies? Hugh looks more Zombie, it would probably be the easiest BLOG I ever wrote. But alas, I decided to go with wrestlers. And as I was talking to Don Swabuk a week ago from Tuesday night after my excellent subbing for the Tap Masters (1/4, 2k's) I realized that I was surrounded by wrestlers in this league. Allow me to provide some examples.
THE WRESTLERS.
Andre The Giant Simard - Sure, there's the whole French thing, but the hair is eerie isn't it?
Big John stud - Keith Dell: Questions? Didn't think so.
Junk Yard Dog - Cliff Tucker: OBVIOUSLY!!! Look at him counting on his fingers! Tell me that didn't remind you of Cliff right away. Its so obvious that JYD is a book keeper.
Bruno Sumuruto - Tito: Look at the pose. Like he's just about to lift 6 sheets of dry wall.
Buddy Rogers - Bill Jonkman: Its long been rumoured that Bill Jonkman had the stunning good looks of Kirk Douglas. This settles it.
C.M. Punk - Jason Chiovitti: Oh, he looks innocent enough hitting doubles and scoring at will, but don't piss him off!!! He'll go C.M. Punk on you!
Claudio Castagnoli - Scott Mason: Dead friggin' Ringer! Oh, except this guy has muscles. Not lots, but have you seen Scott?
Eddie Guerrero - Roger Gaudet: Well, lets start with the hair being 'bang on'. Then there's the whole laissez-faire persona. It couldn't be anyone but Roger. Nice boots to boot.
Kane - Robin Dickson: This isn't crazy "OMG - that's exactly him". However, that look on Kane's face IS exactly the look that he makes before some smart assed comment!
Goldberg - Slammin' Sammy Caradonna: I don't think this needs much an explanation.
Don Swabuk - Hulk Hogan: Well this one gets the prize! I want to see Donnie in a bandana and blond wig because we could make some money on this one.
Jake Roberts - Rob Farah: Is that a snake in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? Ahhhh, it was a snake.
Randy Macho Man Savage - Jason Jennings: So, this is the 'Winter' Jason. Summer Jason is quite debonair. But Winter Jason rocks the beard and looks tough.
Chris Jericho - Phil Glecoff: Hmmmmm, maybe not....but there's something about that little sideways smile that's about to break into a toothy grin before he goes 1st to third on a one hopper to the pitcher.
Triple H - Kahuna: Roger would have to fake the mean look. Beyond that, this is right up there with the Donnie / Hulk one. He would make a killing on the birthday party circuit!
Kurt Angle - Chris DeSavoy: I don't think Chris can pull off 'mean'. But he can sure pull off this look!
Vince McMahon - Frank Laird: I miss Frank. He may have been the league's best "one-liner" emailer.
Paul Levesque - Lance Horgan; Not really close, but Lance is hitting .800 so he's getting busted. Maybe if Paul Levesque was rocking a harmonica it would be better.
Ravishing Ric Rude - Don Booth: Ya think???? Don Booth was short listed for the Freddy Mercury BLOG which (rightfully) went to Gord Robertson. But this is deadly awesome!
Ric Flair - Stef Kapp: Well for one thing, Stef has Flair. Now Stef IS Flair. What you don't know about this picture is that Flair is just about to say, "you did NOT call me out"!
Steve Austin - The Beechey: Its not a complete BLOG without a "The Beechey" mention. What do Steve Austin and The Beechey have in common? Austin can't hit either.
BAM!
This Guy - Cal Steeves: Oh sure, you're all thinking this is mean aren't you? Did you notice all the gang-tats? Straight up bro, Tottenham North Side, Badass. The real deal!
Gino Brito and Dino Bravo - Tito and Doris: You have to have a tag team. And yeah, the Italian Stallion tag team is in the house!
These two guys - Paul Gyori and Doug Dwyer: It take a big man to be short.
The SPEECH
Rob's protest has continued. No songs. No speeches. In the meantime I'm trying to carry the torch, but its tough following a legend. I mean, just imagine coming on the Ed Sullivan show AFTER the Beatles! That would be hell! Or serving dessert after Julia Child made dinner. Or trying to tell a joke at a table with Gary Cox and Don Swabuk.
Tough tasks all.
So, I got an email two weeks ago from Scott Peters, a very witty tale with a Billy Jack reference. BUGGER!. I think of Billy Jack, I think of the movie, I think of the ending, I think of "One Tin Soldier" that horrid, unshakable, folksy song that was used in the film and has been stuck in my head since. Now, with any luck it'll be stuck in yours and outta mine! Music here ===> PLAY ME
The Winning Grisslies
(To the Tune of One Tin Soldier)
Listen children 'bout a ballgame
That was played not long ago
'Bout the Jay's atop the standings
And the Grisslies miles below
Well those Brew Jays had a treasure
Buried deep beneath home plate
And the Grisslie players swore
They'd have it before the night got late
Go ahead and beat the Grisslies
Go ahead and win a bet
Do it in the name slow pitch
You can justify it with SPN
There won't be any trumpets blowing
Come the games last play
On a muggy evening after
The winning Grisslies ride away
So the players on the Grisslies
Sent a message to Rod Duggan
Asking for the buried treasure
And no triples from Tim Sullivan
Came an answer from the Brew Jays
Beware we have Chris De Savoy
And all the secrets of our treasure
Remain Timmy Two Beer's private joy
Now the Grisslies cried with anger
Swing those bats, draw your gloves!
And they played the Brew Jays players
They would earn their just reward
Now they stood beside the treasure
Having put the Brew Jays down to bed
Lifted the plate and looked beneath it
"No Losses This Week" was all it said
Go ahead and beat the Grisslies
Go ahead and win a bet
Do it in the name slow pitch
You can justify it with SPN
There won't be any trumpets blowing
Come the games last play
On a muggy evening after
The winning Grisslies ride away
Go ahead and beat the Grisslies
Go ahead and win a bet
Do it in the name slow pitch
You can justify it with SPN
There won't be any trumpets blowing
Come the games last play
On a muggy evening after
The winning Grisslies ride away
THE GAME
Now that was fun.
Let me get this out of the way first. We lost. However, for the second and last time this year, we fielded our playoff team. The only exception (and its significant) is that we didn't have Al Hayward at 3rd base who has played third as good as anyone this year. That being said, our playoff line up tied the 2nd place Gruesome Devils and lost by 1 to the Brew Jays. We're not going to find too many clubs better that those two, so even though the next month might be bumpy, we're feeling good about September.
This game started (unfortunately) with me leading off and hitting a weak pop up to 3rd. Then the game got better. Gaudet and Farah followed with hits and were cashed by Casullo and Greenfield. In the bottom of the first we held the Brew Jays to one when rookie Laurier Plante scored from 1st on Captain Rod Duggan's triple.
In the second inning the Grisslies would count 6. We gave 3 back in the bottom but held an 8 - 4 lead after 2 complete.
The teams traded zeros in the third inning. In the 4th Grisslies had their second consecutive zero run inning but the Brew Jays bashed through to roll a 7 and take an 11 - 8 lead through 4 complete. That would be it for the Brew Jays scoring on the night as they would send 4 batters to the plate in the 5th and 3 in the 6th inning. In their 7 run inning, everyone contributed. Their wasn't a single HUGE hit, just everyone kept hitting solid singles and advancing a pretty much a base at a time.
The Brew Jays had two subs on the night, Dude and Fleming. They were both 2/3 on the night and combined to score 3 of their 11 runs. A nice showing.
Down by 3 in the 5th, the Grisslies made two quick outs before Gayle got on and scored on Dwyer's hit. He would then score on Gaudet's RBI single. The Grisslies were unable to muster the one run needed to tie the game as they went 3 up and 3 down in both the 6th and 7th innings.
Always good playing the Brew Jays. Its a healthy combination of good hard play, chatter and legitimate pats on the back for good plays on both sides.
I can hardly wait for our playoff matchup!
2 comments:
someone has to have pictures of my 50th birthday party, where Don Swabuk actually made an appearance as Hulk Hogan....anyone??
Rob, you're gonna have to update Doug on the names for some of the pictures above.....
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