Game 14 - The Rebel Hell.

INTRO

I'm cheeping out a bit on this edition.  No internet access until after 2:30am when I gave up.  You see, the problem with the BLOG is that when you don't have access you can do nothing!  It can only be edited online, no offline version is available (that I know of).  So the one from earlier in the week remains as the intro and I've added some stuff to it. 

For one thing, there is a brief game report and I've added more Jesus pictures because they're always fun!  So scroll through what you've already read.  

FROM MONDAYS LOST GAMES

You have got to be kidding!

My count has the Blues Brothers and being rained out 7 times now.  SEVEN!  That includes one game getting rained three times.  The original game, the make up games and subsequent make up of the make up were all lost due to weather.  This means that the Blues Brothers have lost one fewer game than the entire league did last year.  Crap!

So with 3 more games lost on Monday night and 80% chance of rain Tuesday and 70% chance on Wednesday; I figured I should probably write something, because it doesn't look like there will be much baseball writing this week.

However, I will admit that this is my reverse, double negative trick I pull on Mother Nature.  You see, I have a theory.  Its a good one.  The theory goes like this; "An optimist is never pleasantly surprised".

The theory explained:  If you expect the worst then even something marginally better than awful will appear good.  So if you're sitting at home, or at work and were hoping that we'd get all the games in this week you'd already be disappointed wouldn't you?  Not this guy.  I'm expecting to lose all of our games!  So all we have to do is squeeze one in and I win.  Pessimists are rarely disappointed.

And as bad as things are, we're not Toronto with floating cars or Calgary with floating cattle.  So lets look at the brighter side of life as Monty Python would say.    

Top Ten Rain songs

Oh, don't assume that I like them because they're on the list....some are here for dubious reasons.  

10.  Here Comes The Rain Again; Eurythmics

In 1983 Canadian Corey Hart came out with "Sunglasses at Night".  I dug that song.  A lot.   In 1984 the Eurythmics came out with the stupid rain song.  Was I the only one who realized that they were the same song?  Granted, different tempo, but they they intros are the same played on the 36 key portable casio keyboard.

9.  Here Comes that Rainy Day Feeling Again; The Fortunes

Its a cute ditty.  The best part is that its over in 2 minutes and 46 seconds.   They have links to Badfinger and a few other bands, but the sooner we're off this one the better. 

8.  Here Comes the Rain; The Cult

And the third installment of the "Here Comes" rain songs is the Cult classic.  This track was off the 1985 album titled Love.  One of my favourite albums ever, which is weird because guitar rock is normally not my thing.  But I credit the Cult with introducing something completely different to metal; its called a MELODY.  Great song, but it buried behind other great songs like, "She Sells Sanctuary", "Revolution", "Hollow Man" and others.   

7.  Rainy Days and Mondays Always Get me Down; The Carpenters

No Jokes about death....but Karen Carpenter had the most eerie and morose and depressing and gloomy and somber and sullen and glum voice ever.  EVER!  But it was a drug.  You were drawn in and couldn't escape.  Dammit, I listened to this song 3 times getting the YouTube link loaded.  Where's the kleenex. 

6.  Rainy Day People; Gordon Lightfoot

You either like Gordon or you don't.  I do.  Not the music so much...but the lyrics.  The man is clever.  Rainy Day People are the opposite of "fair weather friends"; the ones that are always there.  Good one, but time to amp it up a bit.  

5.  Blame It On The Rain; Milli Vanilli

Before you laugh at this because of the whole Milli Vanilli lip-syncing thing; remember that SOMEONE did sing that song.  They just weren't as pretty.  The song was written by Diane Warren who has been nominated for 6 Oscars and 8 Grammys. It was from the Album "Girl You Know Its True" which was #1 from September 1989 to January 1990.  Wow.  Longer at #1 than Pink Floyd.  Weird.  Anyway, see Mark Doyle if you want a copy.

4.  No Rain; Blind Melon

Utterly depressing song.  Most people just hear the catchy tune which is somewhat unusual for a grunge band and assume its happy.  HINT:  The lead singer committed suicide, the song was a cry for help. 

3.  Purple Rain, Prince

Prince Rogers Nelson.  Yeah, Prince was actually his given name, not a stage thing.  Probably my favourite single artist despite this crappy song.  He had many great ones but the best trivia is the songs he wrote for others.  Manic Monday by the Bangles.  He wrote for Morris Day and Time, Kidd Creole and the Coconuts, Sheena Easton, Kenny Rogers, Sinead O'Connor and others. 
 
2.  Rain Drops Keep Falling On My Head; B.J. Thomas

A meaningless little ditty.  This song was the worst part of the best cowboy movie ever.  Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid was interrupted in the middle to watch Paul Newman ride around on a bicycle like an ass while this song was playing.  Shoot me now. 

1.  Fire and Rain; James Taylor

Again, I'm a lyrics fan.  The music might put you to sleep, but the lyrics (much like the cheese) stand alone.  While the story does have some ambiguity to it; its a disturbing conversation about mental illness.  Probably far ahead of its time.  Plus, it was co-written and performed by James Taylor and we always support our league members. 

MORE STUFF

This seems to be introspective week for me.  Maybe its the rain.  Maybe its life.  Maybe its fire and rain.  Who knows.  But lets pop back to the opening picture.  I don't know about the rest of you but I think that's funny as hell.  In fact, describing a Jesus / joke / picture as "funny as hell" is ..... you guessed it; as funny as hell.  Combine it with the apocalyptic third picture of Toronto and I feel one step away from a zombie movie.
I'm pretty sure Jesus, God, the whole gang (except the holy spirit who's really friggin' serious) have a good sense of humour.  Its the whole "in his/her image thing".  If its true then he/she's gotta be funny.  (OMG - I mean "OH MY" - I just referred to god as a woman....in the name of Alanis Morrisette, is nothing sacred with me?)  I'll find out for sure one day.  Poor Marky Doyle is already cringing at the whole tempting fate Jesus talk.  He's probably already pouring lighter fluid on his company PC and listening to Milli Vanilli on his Sony walk man.

Fair warning Mark, you might want to shut down now .....

The Funny Jesus (with additional pics)

So, I find these kind of hilarious.  Many won't agree.  That's okay.  I left the really offensive ones out which only leaves a handful left to print.  If this isn't your cup of tea, STOP READING NOW!!! If I've upset you, I hope you'll come back.  Don't worry, this space will be back to normal when the rain stops.  IF the rain stops I should say.

Jesus Losing on Jeopardy

Jesus Making The same tough FaceBook Decision we all make.  

Jesus the Foodie!

 Jesus at the Olympics

Hockey Jesus

Jesus messin' with a Teller trying to count

 If Jesus Had Twitter

I told ya!  He's serious about this twitter thing. 

Jesus always digs a knock - knock joke.  

 But enough is enough. 

Sweet baby Jesus, he even got Doris in on the action!

 Told Ya!  I'm Blessed.

   

Begging to Differ.

 The Dad Joke.

 And one more

 Now this one isn't funny at all.  These boys are going straight to hell!

 Good for us!  I still think he's laughing.  

THE GAME


Well there was no humidity!

Hey there was no rain!

Oh, there were no subs!

I had to double check that it was actually a Grisslie game.  It was. 

In a last minute scheduling change, we got back Rob Farah's blood work and found out that he has an extremely rare disease called Witzelsucht.  This is not some minor disease like Ebola.  Witzelsucht is an affliction that causes its victim to make bad puns or jokes at inappropriate times.  If you know Rob at all - it all makes sense now doesn't it?  Anyway, after finding this out Rob felt it wise to pull himself from his starting pitching assignment. 

In stepped Brad Wadden who promptly walked the first two batter.  Crap.  However he got out of the inning without surrendering a run with a pop up and double plan.  The amazing part of this is that he was suffering form Tyrotoxism at the time (poisoning from cheese).  Great work Brad, especially considering the Brie problem. 

The top of the order had a pretty good night, Gayle (4/5), Casullo (4/5), Dwyer (4/5) and Farah (3/4) accounted for 4 runs in the first and an early AND RARE Grisslie lead.  Again, not bad considering that Winston suffered from Collywobbles (butterflies in the stomach); Doris from Formication (the perception of being covered in snakes); Dwyer from Werewolf syndrome (he's incredibly hairy) and you already know about Farah's Witzelsucht. 

The game went back and forth.  I have to give the Rebels credit.  We didn't give them freebies on poor throws or throwing to the wrong base or dropped balls.  They simply hit well.  And hard.  It was all we could do to stay in the game.  Coming to the bottom of the 6th we trailed 15 - 10.  If you've been following this season at all, 10 is a lot of run for this squad.  But we buckled down for one last run at and squared the game at 15's! 

Key to the inning was Murray Saunders 5th hit of the evening which was made more spectacular by bout of Genuphobia, which is the inexplicable fear of knees.  Glen Tinkler, dealing with Basophobia, the uncontrollable fear of falling, was also instrumental in the rally. 

Full credit goes to Al Hayward who not only did his own running and scoring but was also a pinch runner all night long.  How he managed that with consecotaleophobia (fear of chopsticks) I'll never understand.  Another MASSIVE player on the night was Gord Dol who hit a triple to the wall in left!  Nice work.  He really overcame his Trypophobia (fear of holes) while circling the bases.  Our rookie had what's become a typical night for him, scoring, hitting, fielding and all in spite Boogie Fever (I think its going around). 

All said, the real star of the night was Dave Muirhead who kept everything settled down.  He worked a new pitcher in, coached bases and made poor John Harrett work his tail off to get him out.  He is a leader and example for others in his ability to overcome hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia (fear of long words). 

In the top of the 7th the Rebels pounded the Grisslies for 7 runs.  With two out in the bottom of the inning the Grisslies eked out 2 runs to make the 22-17 sound not quite as bad. 

Next up the Saturday Stats BLOG!