GAME 19 - Smooth

The Poll
Well I know everyone was following these results VERY closely!

The question was "WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING ITEMS FROM THE "PIERO" BLOG IS A TRUE STATEMENT?"

Sam HAS Vacuumed Piero                                  50%  False
Piero DOES swim with a life jacket                        2%  Undetermined
Piero and Sam's 1st song WAS the Hokey Pokey  3%  False (it was 2nd)
Piero's Mom DOES have a wax statue of him       31%  False (its marble)
Piero DID lose a fight with dog leashes                 31%  Absolutely TRUE

The Intro

There is really so much to love about this league!!!

However, no matter whether you dig the ratings, the diamonds, the community work that we do or contribute to, the games or the clubhouse; at the end of the day it comes down to the people. The people; whether they be players, wives, kids or grand kids, are simply amazing. Additionally, with the way teams are re-jigged every year and new players come in, you are meeting and learning from and about other people all the time.

One person that I knew very little about heading into this year. Was Simon Smith. To be honest last year was a bit of whirl-wind for me so when we met at our first game I had no real recognition. I asked him a question about his English background (just making an assumption based on the name "Smith") that was apparently a little disparaging and he punched me in the mouth.

Since then our relationship has really blossomed! We know now that Simon was a roadie. We know he’s fast as smoke. We know that 26% of people think he’s The Batman (who has been remarkably quiet lately). We also know he got an “A” rating for his first half performance. We know that his family founded the Dorking Breeders Club. But really, what do we KNOW about Mr. Smith. I mean REALLY KNOW.

You know Simon Smith from this picture

but there is much, much more to his story.

Simon was a rebellious teen, (who wasn’t) and had to bail out of Dorking after the incident at the roller rink, and the ensuing fight, after being declared as 'runners up' in the dance-off yet again.

2 minutes before "all hell broke loose".

Controversy:  Biff and Pamela win their 3rd

straight "dance pair of the year" contest, roller-

dancing to "Do ya think I'm Sexy".

So where did young Simon go?  What did he do?  How did he survive with no skills, no money and roller skating as his only ticket to the world?  Well, he left Dorking and headed South.  He meandered through the northern states by skating, hopping trains and hitch hiking until he ended up, quite unexpectedly; in Buffalo, New York sleeping in a bus shelter. One frosty fall morning he woke up seeing this sign....

Al Barnes circus poster in a Buffalo

bus shelter.

Simon knew that this was the moment.  This was the brass ring that he had to grasp. He saw this as his opportunity to pull himself up by his boot straps and making something out of life.  Surely there would be some way that he could convert his considerable roller skating talents into fame and fortune in the lucrative traveling circus circuit. God knows that he tried enough stunts that he could pull off "circus level" tricks.  He wasn't afraid of spill.  He was loyal and dedicated.  

Sure.  He was missing the tattoos and piercings, but he was willing to learn! 

He knew he could do it, but it had to be done just right.  So Simon put on his thinking cap and did some research.  he discovered that Al Barnes was not the circus owner's real name.  The "Al" part was right, but the owner tried to cash in on the popularity of "Barnum and Baily" by changing his last name from 'Ida' to 'Barnes'.  These little bits of research would help.  Every employer likes a thorough and well thought out employee.  And Simon was NOTHING if not well thorough!

So instead of knocking on the door and asking for a job, he decided that he would write a personal letter, mail it and then follow up a week later as the circus pulled into the next town.  It was a flawless plan.  There was no way that it could fail.  I was able to find a copy of the actual letter Simon sent.  Below is an image of the and I think you'll agree that it was BRILLIANT!!!

Simon proudly read and reread the letter, knowing that he had 'nailed it', before putting it in an envelope and placing the stamp on it.  As he slid it in the mail slot, he knew his life was about to change. 

He just didn't know how much. 

Unbeknown to our young Simon, the US government screens ALL mail.  The CIA or FBI or DEA or IRS or whatever TLA (Three Letter Acronym) deals with security deemed the letter to "Al K. Ida" to be a very thinly veiled code for Al Qaeda!!!  FYI, (oh, thats another TLA) Americans don't really dig Al Qaeda.  Americans are even less fond of Canadians that send coded letters to Al Qaeda sympathizers and do so from American soil. 

Within 24 hours poor Simon was in lock down.  It took months of intense interrogation before Simon could finally convince the American authorities that he was in fact NOT a sympathizer.  Having left home and being on his own; no one even really noticed that he was being held deep under ground beneath a Riedell roller skating factory.  Simon was offered his freedom, but it would come at a price.  He had to agree to work for two years as an undercover agent for the US government!

His intense training began immediately.  He was under 24 hour supervision and had his a limited possessions confiscated.  He could no longer be referred to by his name, only his code name - "SIMPLE". 

So SIMPLE spent the next two years travelling the world and working deep under cover on some of the most dangerous engagements ever.  Initially he was part of the deadly Ninja Skaters team.

The Ninja Skaters ran black ops in countries

that tried to sell the 3 wheeled cars

which were deemed a threat to the

big three auto makers.

After putting down the evil 3 wheel threat, SIMPLE had demonstrated his leadership skills and was given the responsibility of building a new division.  You see, the CIA were big fans of the Bare Naked ladies (again, who isn't - I meant the band, but whatever) and were particularly big fans of the song "If I had a Million Dollars".  They noticed that whenever the Bare Naked Ladies played live concerts for terrorists (come on; a gig is a gig) the terrorists would always smile at the "haven't you always wanted a monkey?" line.  The CIA are no body's fools and they charged SIMPLE with the responsibility of taking advantage of this entry point into terrorists cells.  

SIMPLE, Simply making the world a better place.

In no time, worldwide terrorist organizations began to fall and things were looking great.  The CIA came to SIMPLE once again and offered him whatever job he'd like in espionage.  SIMPLE was quite honestly digging the whole training thing so he asked to be responsible for a new infantry division.  He knew that he could pull it off and he was sure that he had won the confidence of the Government.  The day that his plumb assignment came through was one of the best days of his life.  Of course, infantry in the US may have a somewhat different connotation than the word infantry does in Canada.

The early days of training the infant army.

SIMPLE's last assignment was probably his most dangerous.  He had to infiltrate a gang of ruthless mimes in France and take out their leader.  But danger was SIMPLE's middle name (not really, spies don't use middle names) and he never, ever backed down from a challenge. 

The best picture ever taken by INTERPOL of

the mime leader "Patin De Rousseau" 

SIMPLE executed the plan flawlessly, again.  It would be another example of a successful mission for which he would never receive recognition due to the clandestine nature of his work.

Finally the day came when SIMPLE's two year commitment had expired and he could move on with his life, complete with funds, skills and a new found confidence.  The last thing that he had to do was turn over his active files to the new spy who would be replacing him.  Of course, with code names you never "really" know who people are, but SIMPLE had heard that his replacement was also a Canadian and that this Canuck and ended up working for the US government under similar, yet more bizarre, circumstances.

So in his last act as an international spy, a secret meeting was arranged at an all night dinner.  That is where SIMPLE SIMON met the PIEMAN and made sure the world stayed fair.

The Speech

Again, how can you not love this league!!!  This weeks speech was written by none other than super spy Simon Smith who wrote it FOR and ABOUT Rob Farah.  This marks only the second time in two years that the speech has been provided by someone other than Rob.  Just so everyone knows, this one is a little deep.  A few points that may help you understand the speech a little better is that Rob is of Lebanese background and Wadih El Safi is a famous Lebanese singer.  I suppose that this is the kinda stuff you pick up when you work to counteract international terrorism. 

Sung to the tune of Smooth by Carlos Santana and Rob Thomas (from Matchbox20).  Click the title as always to here the music as you sing along at home (or envision Simon doing Karaoke).

SMOOTH

Man, it's a hot one

Like the seven inning and the games not done

I hear you chanting out the words that coach everyone

But you stay so cool

My Capitana!, my Lebanese Wadih El Safi

You're my pitcher of record

The swing in our groove

And if you said this team ain't good enough

We’d give you Donini to lift you up

We would change, our game to better suit your mood

Cause you're so smooth

And its just like that pitcher I saw in Cancun

He had the same kind of arm motion that we get from you

You got the kind of pitchin' that can be so smooth

Give it to 'em hard and, make it inside

Or else forget about it

I'll tell you one thing

If the defense drops the ball it would be a crying shame

In every liner and every fly, I hear Cal calling it out, "mine!"

Out in the outfield, I hear your staccato rhythms on the strike board

You feel the turning of the game so soft and slow

It turning around and around

And if you said this team ain't good enough

We’d give you Donini to lift you up

We would change, our game to better suit your mood

Cause you're so smooth

And its just like that pitcher I saw in Cancun

He had the same kind of arm motion that we get from you

You got the kind of pitchin' that can be so smooth

Give it to 'em hard and, make it inside

Or else forget about it

The Game(s)
The overall recap is simple.  The Grisslies split their double header.  The batting order that had been solid for weeks finally slipped with the lead off hitters (1 and 2 in the order) going a combined 6 for 17. Ouch.  However, as a TEAM (which is the most important thing) we did something we hadn't done all year, which is have consecutive games with 7 run innings!

Game 1

There were some highlights I'm sure, but I don't remember too many.  We lost the game by a count of 16-13 and actually had a lead at one point against the Rebels. 

A season first occurred in this game as Rob Farah gave up his 1st home run of the season.  I would say that if that happens 18 games into the year after already playing the Brew Jays and the Hurtin' Units twice, that you're doing Pretty good.  Marky Mark took Robbie deep for his 11th career home run in the Oldtimers League.  The game was stopped and a brief ceremony took place in left field and the left field fence was renamed Doyle's Domain. 

After the band stopped and the autographs were done we resumed the game and the Grisslies proceeded to score 7 runs and take a two run lead in the game. 

However, the lead was short lived as the Rebels came back on the strength of Hughie Armstrong's incessant chatter.  I think at one point Mark Kolson needed medical attention because his ears were bleeding for the litany of one liners coming from Hugh.  But maybe that's just me being bitter. 

The Grisslies were characteristically "in the game" but also characteristically on the wrong end of the final score.

Game 2

This game was MUCH quieter! 

The Grisslies and the Hot Tub Woodys played a fine defensive game trough the early innings before all hell broke lose in the third.

With one out and a runner on first Piero (MVP) Del Greco strode confidently to the plate. On the third pitch of the at bat he hit a sharp single passed second into right center field. 

Piero ran to first base.

Doug Matson ran to intercept the ball so it wouldn't go into the gap. 

Piero rounded first base.

The ball went under Doug Matson's glove.

Piero ran to second base.

Doug chased the ball into center field.

Piero rounded second.

Doug fell.

Piero ran to third base.

Doug got up.

Piero stopped at third base.

Doug got to the ball.

Piero started running home.

Doug dropped the ball.

Piero still running home.

Doug throws the ball to second.

Piero STILL running home!

Steve Grenkie turns and fires the ball to home.

Piero JUST crosses the plate before the the ball.

The bench goes wild.

The crowd erupts.

The Hot Tub Woodys are deflated by Piero's sheer power and this inspires the Grisslies to a 15-6 win over the Woodys!