Breaking News
This just in from the Tampa area. Click the link to read the official press release!!!
http://tottenhamoldtimers.blogspot.com/p/team.html (Special thanks to Karrie Farmer, our Tampa correspondent)
INTRO
Last year as you all know was my first in the league. I walked into the league knowing exactly one person so there were a lot of introductions and names to learn. I’m typically not very shy, so I went about the task of meeting people.
This is where things get dicey. When I signed up for the league, I was under the mistaken impression that the name you put on your shirt was actually supposed to be “YOUR NAME”. Apparently that wasn’t and isn’t the case. So to complicate things I had to learn names of people that had nothing to do with the names on their shirts. You’ve all been through this so you know what I’m talking about. Some are easy, like John Tessier having “JT” on his shirt, but how are new guys supposed to remember that Luc Schryer is "UGH"?
I had a few embarrassing moments in my rookie season, but one that stands out was either with Doris Casullo or Ingo Bartens. I’m only unsure because I’ve managed to repress parts of the memory through intensive and expensive counselling. Regardless, the story works for either because they both, uncharacteristically for the league, had their respective 1st names on their shirts.
Before a game early in the season I walked up to Ingo (I’ll use him as the example), and introduced myself.
ME: Hi I’m Doug (handshake)
INGO: Hey, Ingo
ME: Blah, blah, blah
INGO: Yadda, yadda, yadda,
ME: Nudge, nudge, wink, wink, say no more, say no more.
INGO: Chit-chat, chit-chat, chit-chat.
ME: So “Ingo”...that’s a really weird nickname, there must be a story behind that one. How'd you stuck with that handle?
INGO: Its my name.
Ouch. Awkward. Welcome to the team.
So...in an effort to help this year’s rookies and people who are still fairly new to the league, I’ve put together a list of all 168 players in the league with.
• Their known nickname.
• If unknown (to me) a suggested nicknameBefore anyone gets ‘too’ bent about this, it’s meant to be funny and NOT to offend. I won’t pretend that they are all brilliant because they aren’t. But some are clever. At least I think they’re clever and take some thinking. Before you scroll through the list here are a few examples with explanations:
Harley Sherman - “FAT BOY”. A) He’s not fat so that’s funny. B) The Fat boy is a Harley Davidson bike model. Now its funny times 2.
Bob Vaughan – “Nolan” A) Bob is pitcher (and a good one in my humble opinion) hence the Nolan Ryan reference. Not funny, but baseballish. B) I struck out Bob last year in a game under some major extenuating circumstances. Despite that he was kind enough to sign the ball (I’m not joking) and he wrote “Nolan Ryan would be proud". I still have it.
Jamie McClean – “YIPPIE-I-O-KYE-YA”. Bruce Willis played John McClean in Die Hard...Of course, John McClean’s famous line before he killed Hans Gruber was “yippie-I-O-kye-ya, M-F’r”. Pop culture reference.
Scott Peters – “ANGER MANAGEMENT”. Because it’s so NOT him that its funny.
Okay, there is how my brain works. Have fun with this. Suggest new nicknames and I’ll add them in. Just keep them PG. Well, PG-14. Throw your suggestions or questions about nickname origins in the comment sections and I’ll get to them quickly. Also, if anyone is truly offended by a nickname, tell me by email (dwyerdouglas@gmail.com) so you don't have to advertise it and I'll remove it. By the way, I think I’ll set up a nickname tab to replace the now “lost” results tab.
Cheers.....and the list:
I feel sorry for captains that ask me to sub. There is the obvious reason that they have me a sub which can be difficult for a captain to deal with at the best of times. Then there is the secondary reason that they are now feeling obligated to write a song / speech for the game. See, they know if they don't do a speech, then I probably won't bother doing a BLOG. However, if they do produce one, then I won't let the opportunity go by.
And on the topic of 'you learn something new every day', I had no idea that James Taylor was a Hip-Hop rap tactition. Honestly, he does come off a little 'hood with the baggy jeans and funky flat brimmed hat, but I never really put it all together. Personally, I think Mike Olliffe probably helped with the lyrics a bit because I saw a Snoop Dogg CD on his table when I was over a few weeks ago.
So, the boys put together a very inspirational rendition of "Empire State of Mind" by Alicia Keyes and Jay-Z that they actually wrote as if I were the singer. They even got pretty political in the last verse. For a first crack at doing this, it is pretty cool and a great effort. Keep up the great work Mike and James! (click the song title to hear the tune)
Yeah,
Yeah, Imma up at Keogh,
Now I'm down in the Legion,
Right next to Piero,
And I’ll be hood forever,
I’m the new Sinatra,
And since I made it here,
I can make it anywhere,
Yeah they love me everywhere,
I used to ball in Woodbridge,
All of my Italianios,
Right there up on Highway seven,
Brought me back to that McDonalds,
Took it north of the T-Dot,
Tottenham off of Queen street,
Catch me in the infield like a KitchenAide whipping pastry,
Cruising down Dilane street,
Wish I had a lexus,
Driving so slow to avoid any more tickets,
Me I’m up at 3rd base,
Home of that boy Gyori,
Now I'm filling in for a legend,
But I got my my boys with me,
Say what up to Olliffe, still sipping Turbos
Sitting gameside Stiffs and Banshees give me high fives,
Brother I be spiked out, Who's the MVP nominee?
Tell by my attitude that I most definitely from…
New Tec,
Baseball jungle where dreams are made of,
Theres noway that you can lose,
Now you’re in New Tec,
These games will make you feel brand new,
The lights will inspire you,
Lets hear it for New Tec, New Tec, New Tec
Catch me at the "K" with JT at the Unit's game,
Man, they make the Oldtimers Hat more famous than an a Yankee can,
You should know I bleed Grisslie Blue, but I still like to sub tho,
And there is a gang of brothers who will play for all teams though,
Welcome to the melting pot,
Players helping out in all kinds of spots,
Donnie's a sub that hit,
Pearse will play in any spot,
Black Cap, Hippie Cap, Hit the Gap, holla back,
Foreigners from Alliston ain't fitted they forgot how to act,
168 stories out there and their all different,
Guys range in age from old to near ancient,
Me I gotta plug a special BLOG I got it made,
If JTs payin Del Greco, I’m paying Rob Hayward,
3 strikes thrown low,
3 card monte,
Both are a hussle, rest in peace Bob Marley,
Steam train forever, long live the Feed Mill,
Long live the swing yo,
I’m from the place you admire and thats.....
New Tec,
Baseball jungle where dreams are made of,
Theres noway that you can lose,
Now you’re in New Tec,
These games will make you feel brand new,
The lights will inspire you,
Lets hear it for New Tec, New Tec, New Tec
Lights aren't blinding,
Hardly even working,
So the ball gets out of bounds quick,
The side lines will end up blind with casualties,
Parks and Rec sipping life casually, hoping it doesn't get worse,
Don’t bite the apple Eve,
Caught up in the in crowd,
Now your in-style,
And in the winter gets cold so enjoy while you have your skin out,
The city is a sin but our town is a hymn,
One thing the city got, the lights work for them,
I once took a bus trip, hit a Jays game - no lights out,
Everybody cheering, you could see everything no blackout,
Hail Mary to the city your lights are workin',
But Jesus can’t save you, life starts somewhere along the 400,
Came here for quality, stayed for the high life,
Ball players, rap stars, addicted to the limelight,
TOT got you feeling like a champion,
The town never sleeps better slip you a Ambien
In New Tec,
Baseball jungle where dreams are made of,
Theres noway that you can lose,
Now you’re in New Tec,
These games will make you feel brand new,
The lights will inspire you,
Lets here it for New Tec, New Tec, New Tec
One hand in the air for Tottenham,
Conservation area and big dreams all looking pretty,
No place in the World that can compare,
Put your lighters in the air, everybody say yeaaahh
Come on, come,
Yeah,
In New Tec,
Baseball jungle where dreams are made of,
Theres noway that you can lose,
Now you’re in New Tec,
These games will make you feel brand new,
The lights will inspire you,
Lets here it for New Tec, New Tec, New Tec
THE GAME
No BLOG wars here friends. The score was Hurtin Units 14 and the Dog Catchers 24. To read the game report which will be much superior to anything that I could do please go to http://www.hurtinunits.blogspot.com/
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