GAME 18 - The Lefty's Got a Gun

INTRO

So here is the thing.  This isn't game 18, but I really want to have all the games numerically laid out for the season when you index the BLOG and look for stuff.  On Wednesday we have a double header that will combine games 18 and 19.  Because of that, Thursday will see the Game 19 BLOG issued but will cover both games 18 and 19. 

Yes my life is VERY complicated. 

This section will cover the weekend tournament for Team Extreme. 

It would be really easy to blame our 1-2 record and second consecutive year of not making it out of the round-robin portion of the tournament on Roger Burton's injury, the pathetic play of a certain mid-town Tottenham player, the sun, Cal's shorts, our collective height (team average height was 5'6") or the fact that Sue Farah didn't show up to our Saturday morning game; and while some of those things might be true, the problems run deeper. 

I don't usually 'break things down' on a real baseball level, I just go kind of light because people get sensitive, so I talk about other non-baseball things and just let the game be.  This time, I think I just need to call it out. 

So here it is. 

A LEFT HANDED SHORTSTOP???  REALLY???

Has anyone heard of Mike Donlin?  I didn't think so.  In 1902 Mike Donlin played shortstop for the Cincinnati Reds.  He made $2,500.00 a season.  Before you laugh at that, the twenty-five hundred dollars he made in 1902 had the 2010 equivalence of $23,000,000.00.  He hit .351 with a .420 OBA and he was the last left handed short stop in the majors.  There's a reason for that. 

Lefties can't play Shortstop!  There is 108 years of evidence supporting that!!!

So, I can go on about left short stops or we can talk to the members of team Extreme.

James Taylor:  "Please tell me I didn't put a lefty at short.  I told

Mike, don't let me do anything I'll regret!  Dammit"

Mike Olliffe:  "From what I remember of my Grad party,

it was a bit of a disaster.  Not epic like having a lefty at short,

but I'm still paying off the UPS truck." 

Rob Farah:  "I'm sorry, I can't hear you over how awesome

I look in my disco pants, plus the Farrah Fawcett 

poster is whispering something in my ear.  Did you say something

about a lefty at short stop?  As if!"

Kevin Boston:  "Sure, my freshman year was a little embarrassing. 

But at least I listen to MC Hammer with ear phones on, 

unlike the public display of putting a lefty at shortstop."

Down Town Billy Brown:  "I've always said that different is good.

We should all embrace diversity, but I would NEVER go so far as to 

say we should have a Lefthander at Shortstop.  What's next?  

Dogs and cats living together?"

Cal Russell:  "I heard Piero got fired for forgetting the "G"

(ironically) on this sign, that seems like a much less tragic

error than a Lefty Shortstop. 

Doug Dwyer:  "If there was a lefty at short on the other

team EVEN I would hit it there!"

Glenn Tinkler:  "I have to admit that I agreed with having

Cam at Short.  I was told that he had good hands.  I'd like

to recast my vote please".

Roger Burton:  "I have a broken foot and hobbled around all weekend.  

That's me on the ground in the picture.  That's a left handed 

Shortstop in the air.  'Nuff Said, you know where I stand.

Cal Steeves:  "When you look this good, you don't need

gimmicks.  I think we should start breeding lions and

tigers together and have ligers.  I mean, that's

about as natural has having a left handed shortstop!"

Piero Del Greco:  "The year I grew my hair out was

AWESOME, but it made me forget the letter "G"

for some reason.   But even I know that you don't

put a  lefthander at short!"

The Speech

You gotta love James...he made the Grisslies on the team feel at home by working all week on a speech to kick off the tournament.  Fine work Jimmer, you did us proud!  This is to the tune of "The Best Was Yet to Come" by Bryan Adams.  Click the title to get the music. 

The Lefty's Got a Gun

Just a small town team in the Coventry lights

And the lefty's got a gun

Who to put at Short on Friday night

But the lefty's got a gun

How could I possibly know

That you would be the unlucky one

Ain't it wicked how his throws fly

Because the lefty's got a gun

Half of our player are five foot two

And that won't get it done

You need someone with a little cachet

Yeah someone that won't be undone

Even through the beers

And cob on the corn at McCarron's

What's so good about this guy

Is that the lefty's got a gun

I find myself thinkin' about the game

Or maybe it was in a dream

In the moment that it takes

He reacts and won't make mistakes

Like the setting sun...

You turn around it's gone

Just a small town team who had it made

Or so the story goes

The had it there then it slipped

Oh - 3rd base came undone

Even through the beers

I never saw him come undone

Ain't it funny how that ball flies

When the lefty's got a gun

Ain't it funny how that ball flies

When the Lefty's got a gun.  

The Real Story

Okay, the lefty had nothing to with our 1-2 record.  Cam hit well, threw well, caught well and even managed not to lose it on the rest of us (me in particular) when everything went to hell in a hand basket around him!

Try these ones on.  These mistakes were all made by the same guy. 

1. Ground ball to third with a runner on second.  The ball is hit so slowly that there is no play at first but the runner from second is going to third with Cam (who else) covering the bag.  The third baseman never notices, hands the ball back to the pitcher.  All hands are safe.  3rd baseman weeps behind sun glasses.

2.  Ground ball to third with a runner at first base this time.  Again no play at either bag.  The third baseman fakes a throw to second and inexplicably throws the ball into shallow left field.  The ball is retrieved by Cam (who else). Runners go to second and third.  Third baseman crawls under the 3rd base bag.

3.  Playing second base now, a high chopper over the pitchers head with runners on first and second.  Makes the catch just off the baseline with the runner going past him and for no good reason flicks the ball to Cam (who else)  who is standing about eight feet off second base.  Now crawls under second base.  

4.  Now trying to be hidden in right field.  Ground ball between 1st and 2nd that is hit slowly and needs to be charged to keep the runner at first base.  Ball goes under glove, runner takes second AND third!!!  Right fielder, climbs fence and goes home.

5.  Same guy was 0-3 in game one, 1-3 in game two and 1-3 in games three 

There's more, but I'm depressed now thinking about it. 

Fun weekend everyone, thanks for organizing and playing!  We have a year to practice!!!

DD