This Donini Deck Conversation took place just before the Grisslies Beer Cup game against the Beer Bros.
Doug: You seem bummed.
Rob: Ya.
Doug: Any particular reason?
Rob: I'm still recovering from no Grisslieland on Friday night.
Doug: Right! That was a bit of a shocker.
Rob: Tell me about it.
Doug: Did the police reroute their patrols?
Rob: That's not funny.
Doug: Too soon? Okay, I'll knock it off.
Rob: Look. I've been thinking.
Doug: Here we go.
Rob: No. Seriously.
Doug: Ditto.
Rob: Shut up!
Doug: Fine.
Rob: So like I said. I've been thinking.
Doug: And?
Rob: And we've co-captained together for what? 5 years now?
Doug: uh-huh. Something like that.
Rob: Well, maybe its time for a change.
Doug: Are you kidding?
Rob: I'm not saying its 100% must do, but it is something that we should consider.
Doug: Well all I can say is that I'll be sorry to see you go.
Rob: WHAT?!?!?!? Not me. You.
Doug: Oh. I don't find that really appealing.
Rob: I figured you would say that, but I have a solution. You could be a captain of a new team and you could call it the Grizzlies. With "Z's" instead of "S's".
Doug: So, homonyms.
Rob: Your not going to bait me on that one.
Doug: I almost had you.
Rob: Maybe. But what do you think?
Doug: I think it'll be really confusing. Most of the league spells Grisslies with Z's anyway. They'll show up for games not knowing who they're playing. I don't know if this is a good idea.
Rob: Come on. The CFL had two Roughriders for a million years. Philadelphia had a franchise called the Blue Jays before Toronto did. St. Louis had baseball and football Cardinals at the same time. New York had baseball and football Giants at the same time. Its been done.
Doug: Wow. you've really researched this.
Rob: I think its doable.
Doug: You're convincing me. Slowly. But I don't like the idea of us splitting up. What if we did the same thing with other teams instead? We could encourage them to do the same thing.
Rob: Not following.
Doug: Well, what if we got Dancey and Hopkins to split up and we could have the Hot Tub Woody's and the Hot Tub Wouldies?
Rob: Ahhhhh....I see. That's not bad. Plus that team is stacked with those two. Our averages added together don't match Ed's.
Doug: True.
Rob: Then we could bust up Stike and Chuck and have the Draft Kings and the Draught Kings.
Doug: Or the Sons Of Pitches and the Suns Of Pitches.
Rob: Homonyms are fun!
Doug: Who would of thought.
Rob: By cinnamons are better.
Doug: Synonyms?
Rob: No, I meant a word that means exactly the same as another word like "close" and "shut".
Doug: Maybe Grizzlies is a pretty good idea.
The Woody's
6-1. Hell of a start, eh? So a lot of people have been asking one question. How? Sure they have talent. Sure they have bats. Sure they have gloves and speed and arms and defense. But so do a lot of other teams. 6 and 1 is pretty impressive.
The BLOG has eyes EVERYWHERE!
Going back into some old surveillance footage, I was able to track some of the Hot Tub Woody's executives movements in the off season up until the time of this years draft.
First we have Mr. Dancey at a meeting in Jersey. Dancey (red tie) is meeting with captains of New Jersey's most successful lob ball teams. From left to right Tony DiFelece of the "99 problems but the pitch ain't one's"; Tony Mascorone from the "Blood Bath and Beyond's"; Tony DeMaco from the "Achivas and Believas"; Tony Waltario from the "Hits For Brains" and Tony DallaVicenza from the "Multiple Scorgasms".
What do all theses guys have wise guys have in common? Being from Jersey? Ya. Being named Tony? Ya, that too....but hey. They're from Jersey. Cool team names? Not as cool as Hot Tub Woody's, but still cool.
No, they've all won their respective leagues for 5 consecutive years!
How?
Team Doctors.
So Dancey gets on the horn with Hopkins and says "we need to meet these team doctors." Before Ed can hang up the phone, Dancey has booked on the next flight to JFK. And Ed does what Ed Does. Schmooze.
Ed books a fishing trip for these doctors and figures he can extract some info while alone on the private yacht he has permanently parked in the New York Yacht and Squash Club (lower east side)
So Not So Fast Eddie works these guys over for 3 days on the boat. Wines them. Times them. Gets the best Cuban cigars. Has Cirque du Soleil appear in the Yacht's ball room (its a big yatch) and they finally cave. They give the deal on 'supplements' that make these teams so good. But none of these doctors want to ruin a good thing. No sir. They don't want to risk going over the border and jeopardizing their licenses.
The only answer is local "doctor" so they refer a guy who used to work with Jose Canseco when he played for the Jays.
The Woody's opened the season with a win over the Grisslies. Then they lost to the Sons Of Pitches. It was immediatly after that game that the "doctor" showed up.
He's only been photographed twice and my facial recognition software hasn't been able to identify him yet. He's quick and he's clever. In and out. His methods are different than most doctors your familiar with in the world of 'sport medicine'. He admistors his "dosages" after games, not before. And they are served in brown bottles and clear jugs at Legion Branch #329.
The doctor glad-handing with yet another Woody enjoying a successful season. After 7 games last year the Hot Tub Woody's were 3-4. This year 6-1.
Last season Dancey hit .565 and Hopkins .530. This year they're both hitting .750. In fact 7 of their players have better averages than last year. They have 6 guys left who have hit in every game (more than any other team). They average scoring a run with less than 2 hits and they have the 4th best team batting average in the league and climbing weekly.
Well done doctor.
Okay, I would have loved to have built a whole story about cheating and supplements and human growth hormones etc.... But the truth is that the Woody's are off to this start by playing the Woody way. Good comaraderie, good ball, good legion time and exceptional leadership. Still my favourite team to cheer for when the Grisslies aren't playing.
Keep it up Woody's!
The Game
The Beer Bros. and the Grisslies were sadly rained out.
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