0-5. That sucks. I figure, if we are bad, best thing to do is make fun of someone else.
So how about those Units?
I was in Florida this past weekend. You know whats in Florida? Disney World. And I couldn't help but think of how much some of those Units reminded me of Disney Characters. Don't think so? Well, tell me I'm wrong then.
Who does this Tarzan dude look like?
Exactly, I thought so too. Dead ringer for Phil Glecoff. Have you seen that guy slide? How about this one of Syndrome from The Incredibles?
Daryl Hagar! Come on, the hair alone is a dead ringer.
Then we have Pinocchio, with a base ball bat no less! Notice he's one of the rare right handed hitters on the Hurtin' Units. Italian, right handed, it could only be.....
.
Mr Incredible himself?
Now when you look below and see the picture of Woody from Toy Story, you're going to think Danny Chiasson. But I will say au contraire mon frere. That would be too easy and you obviously don't know how 'warped' really works. If you don't understand why Gary Cox would be Woody, then you have to go to remedial BLOG school
And one last steal from The Incredible, with Dash. Like Richard Gabourie, you don't see either of them long enough to make really good recognition.
Here is a fan favourite both on the field and in the movies, Buzz Lightyear from Toy Story! Yes, tricky Ricky Cudnik and Buzz have both mastered 'falling with style'.
The Lion King....obviously....come on. See, you were thinking Rick Lyon, weren't you? Nope, Jamie McClean! The king!
He's huge, he's a beast, he's powerful, he's Kronk from the Emperor's New Groove! Tell me that doesn't look like Mike Olliffe!
Ya, I know you are expecting something for Epic for Danny, because he's kind of .....EPIC himself, isn't he? The boy that never grew up? Peter Pan.
Rick Lyon.....last one. He is Mike Wazowski from from Monsters Inc.
THE SPEECH
Doug: What’s the matter?
Rob: I’m depressed.
Doug: Clinically? Or just the expression?
Rob: Probably just the expression for now, but its getting close.
Doug: What’s up dude, I never see you like this, I’m usually the one teetering on misery.
Rob: Yeah….that’s true. How come you’re not upset by all the news?
Doug: The news? Like famines? Murders? Plagues?
Rob: That’s all sad. But I mean the stuff about you and me.
Doug: You and me?
Rob: Yeah….its been all over the news. In the papers, TV, radio.
Doug: I can you usually follow your rambling, but I don’t know what you’re referring to on this one.
Rob: COME ON!!!! You can’t turn on the car radio without, Rob & Doug, Rob & Doug, Rob & Doug every five minutes.
Doug: You’re nuts. There’s nothing about us on the radio.
Rob: Oh, I’ll give you this …. It started slow enough, but its spiraled out of control. They started just by calling me by my title.
Doug: Which is?
Rob: Mayor of Fraser Ave.
Doug: Oh, that title.
Rob: Yeah. “Mayor back in trouble’. “Mayor in hot water”. “Mayor has done it this time”. All sorts of stuff like that. Then I hear when I was driving back from work early one morning last week, “Reports of a video of Mayor going Broke at the Track”. Broke at the track? I don’t even know where ‘the track’ is? And I can assure you that if its south of the 2nd line, I’ve NEVER been there! Then they started on you, the media is just a bunch of maggots.
Doug: What did they say about me?
Rob: Well first off, they called us brothers, “Rob’s brother, Doug….”, I remember the report very clearly.
Doug: Uh-huh….I think I might be cluing in now.
Rob: Yeah, I knew you would. So they say, “Rob’s brother, Doug was known to be smelling trash in high school”. Then a little while later they started calling you a "trash dealer". First, I know we’re not brothers, not in the biblical sense anyway. I mean, we’re “BROTHERS”, but not brothers.
Doug: I know Rob
Rob: And when I say brother, I don't mean, like, an actual brother, but I mean it like the way black people use it. Which is more meaningful I think.
Doug: Nice Derek Zoolander quote.
Rob: Who is this Zoo-lander?
Doug: Never mind. Finish your story.
Rob: Where was I?
Doug: The news report on me.
Rob: Ya!. Okay, so they say, “not only is there a video of Rob going broke at the track but there are also reports of his brother Doug smelling trash in high school.”.
Doug: You don’t see what’s happened here?
Rob: I sure do …. Those media maggots are out to get us. You’d think being 0-5 would be enough torture, now we have to deal with this? I’d rather reschedule games than put up with this abuse.
Doug: I think you’re mixing stuff up again.
Rob: Doubtful. I’m usually pretty accurate.
Doug: I think the maggots are talking about the Mayor of Toronto and his brother who is the Ward 2 councillor.
Rob: I’m not mayor of Toronto, I’m mayor of Fraser. And we’re not Brothers.
Doug: I know, that’s why I think they’re talking about Rob FORD and Doug FORD!
Rob: Oh. Really? So they went broke at the track and were smelling trash?
Doug: No, actually, they’re accused of Smoking Crack and Selling Hash.
Rob: Whoa!!!! I wouldn’t want to be THOSE guys!
Doug: I know.
Rob: So you don’t think there will be much press at our game tonight?
Doug: No. Should be just the usual.
Rob: Okay, I’ll revise my statement.
Doug: Good idea. Oh, what’s your song?
Rob: Well….I think I need to change it now.
Doug: Why?
Rob: Because I originally had “Imagine” by John Lennon that I reworked to “Media are Maggots”.
Doug: Sounds like a bit of a stretch.
Rob: Yeah, and maybe not quite as accurate as I thought a few minutes ago
Doug: Do you have a back up plan?
Rob: Always.
Rob's backup plan was the John Cougar song "Pink Houses" which he reworked to "Black Jersey's" to pay tribute to the Hurtin' Units. Not a bad effort for a guy who bordering on depression a few minutes earlier. Here is the music ====> CLICK ME!
Black Jersey's.
There's a good team, dressed in black hats
Playin' in the Legion neighborhood
There's a freight train
Runnin' through their right field
You know they think that they got it so good
And at home plate, there's a batsman
Watching those pitches drop
And he looks at one and says, hey pitcher
This ball is going for a ride and it ain't gonna stop.
Oh, but ain't that The Units
For you and Gabourie
Ain't that The Units
Something for Basacchi
Ain't that The Units
Home of Coxie, yeah
New black jerseys
For James and Mikey
Oooh, yeah
For James and Mikey
Well, there's an old guy in a t-shirt
Listenin' to an east coast station
He's got a lack of hair, greasy smile
He says, Lord this must be my destination
'Cause they told me when I was younger
Said boy, you're gonna be president
But Jamie took my job
And I drank too much schooner
And I became a mutant.
Oh, but ain't that The Units
For you and Gabourie
Ain't that The Units
Something for Basacchi
Ain't that The Units
Home of Coxie, yeah
New black jerseys
For James and Mikey
Oooh, yeah
For James and Mikey
[Instrumental Interlude]
Well, there's people and more people
What do they know, know, know
Go to work in Center Field
But still play short because I can throw.
Ooh, yeah
And there's winners and there's losers
But they ain't no big deal
'Cause the simple man, baby
Plays for thrills
The thrills like Phil
Oh, but ain't that The Units
For you and Gabourie
Ain't that The Units
Something for Basacchi
Ain't that The Units
Home of Coxie, yeah
New black jerseys
For James and Mikey
Oooh, yeah
For James and Mikey
What? We won?
Okay, had I known that was going to happen I wouldn't have made fun of the friggin Units.
So, long story short. We have a pretty damned good defence. For a 1-5 team, we are averaging a flat 9 runs against per game.
9!!!
Only the Draft Kings have a better defense right now. You've heard of them? They're a good defensive teams that but the can apparently hit too.
It was nice to have both our shift workers there tonight...it made a HUGE difference to the team. Everyone contributed up and down the line up. Even my HUGE bad drove in a run!
The outfield defense was tremendous with Al Hayward, Murray Saunders, Winston Gayle and Roger Gaudet across the grass. They were excellent!
The infield defense was terrific as well with Brad Wadden, me, Doris Casullo and Gord Dol going 3rd to 1st.
Meanwhile, the story of pitching and game calling continues to be big. Rob's ERA is getting ridiculous and he almost never shakes off Rick anymore.
Great game Grisslies. You need one win to start a streak! Now we can start a roll!!!
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