September 3rd, 2009

THE SCENE



I have a lot of favourite quotes. They usually stick with me because they are either really smart, really funny or because they are so off the wall that they are .... well .... stupid. Quotes are really useful when you want to impress someone on the spur of the moment. However I never can think of one that's appropriate for the particular moment in time that you really need it. What makes it doubly hard for me is that the first one I always think of is from Shaquille O'Neal. I know. There's no accounting for taste.



When returning from the Olympics in Athens, Shaq was asked if he visited the Parthenon while in Greece. He replied with, "I can't really remember the names of all the clubs that we went to". Ahhh, you gotta love athletes.



My next favourite quote is from MacBeth, but I'll save that for another day. Why you ask? Because I forget EXACTLY how it goes and I'd have to look it up. That isn't going to happen. Instead I thought I share with you some of my picks as the best sports quotes of all time.



Joe Theisman: "Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein". (Joe stopped at a stop sign and waited for it to change to "go".)



Yogi Berra: "That place is too crowded, that's why no one goes there anymore".

(Yogi stared at an orange juice container because it said "concentrate".)



Jason Kidd (NBA guard): "We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees".

(Jason jumped off the boat and missed the water.)



Rickey Henderson (MLB hall of famer): "All I'm asking for is what I want".

(Ahhh, pure unadulterated greed!)



Michael Jordon (NBA hall of famer): "I enjoyed the luge" Referring to his visit to Paris.

(Recognized world leader in air walking, not so much with fine art)



David Beckham (English Football): "I can play centre or on the right right, and occassionally on the left side", when asked if he was a volatile player.

(His use of English isn't too POSH.)



Tug McGraw (MLB relief pitcher): "I don't know, I never smoked astro turf", when asked if preferred to play on turf or grass. (Its the genuine answers that make me laugh!)



Andre Dawson (MLB Outfielder): "I want all them kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I want all them kids to copulate me".

(Using big words doesn't make you smart, using them in context helps!)



Pete Rose (Best and most disgraced baseball player ever): "You owe it to yourself to be the best you can possibly be - in baseball and in life"(Sorry, I'm a BIG fan of irony!!!)



THE SPEECH

Okay...A little background on this weeks speech. First, this is a public BLOG. That means that EVERYTHING is searchable and available to everyone who wants to try and find it. Normally, that wouldn't be a bad thing. But apparently, a few "famous" people have "their people" constantly scanning the internet for mentions of their names to see if there is any slander, libel, etc that they can capitalize on.

So imagine my surprise Monday morning when I get an email from Marshall Mathers. For those of you wondering who Marshall Mathers is, that's the real name of Eminem; aka Slim Shady. Anyway, you're probably saying, how do you know it was really him? That's easy, the email address was Marshall.Mathers@hotmail.com, so it HAD to be him!



The email read as follows:

Yo, "G":



S'up yo? Yo, chill in the grill, fo sho! My peeps been zoomin the blog yo! Kicks fo shizzle my nizzle! Na I won't hit you fo benjamins if you give me a crack-a-wack on the next speech G. Na don't be frontin me money.



EM.



Again, I know what you're thinking. That was SO eloquent! Basically, Eminem threatened to sue me if I didn't let him write the next speech, so what else was I to do? Plus he was all over the OBA race with McCarron and Doyle and wanted to comment on the competition from a "street angle". So without any further ado....



Lose yourself by Eminem to the tune of

Lose yourself by Eminem



Instumental version of the song =====> INSTRUMENTAL

Radio version (no swearing) version ===> RADIO

Music sponsor CAMP & SEW (will not be named in any law suits with Eminem)

Look, if you had one shot, or one opportunity

To seize the oldtimers batting title,

Would you capture it or just let it slip?



Yeah,

His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy

There's vomit on his sweater already, Joy’s spaghetti

He's nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready

To hit bombs, and he’s not forgetting

When he digs in, the whole crowd goes so loud

He waggles the bat, the pitcher tosses the ball out,

He's not choking how, everybody's cheering now,

The clock's run out, season’s over, BAM!

Snap back to reality, Oh there goes gravity

Oh, there goes McCarron, he choked

He's not mad, and he won't give up that

Easy, no

He won't have it , he’s got two games left,

It don't matter, he's deft,

He knows that, and he's focused,

He's not stagnant and he knows

When he goes back to his Fraser Ave home, that's when it's

Back to the cage again yo

Time for more practice

He better go capture this moment and hope it don't pass him



x2

(You better lose yourself in the hitting, the moment

You own it, you better never let it go go

You might get one shot, do not miss your chance to soar

This opportunity might come once in a lifetime yo)



Now Doyle was escaping, through a hole that was gaping,

The title was almost his for the taking,

”I’ll be king”, moving up in the Wild’s new order,

That normal life is boring, but superstardom's close to post mortem,

Then it grew harder, other players got hotter,

the throws were all on him, another shortstop gone got him,

From Alliston to Tottenham, they know he’s a goner,

Something turned, God only knows,

He's grown big as a fable a triple X label,

He goes to the plate, feet are both stable,

Hold your nose in the outfield, here goes the cold water,

The Wild are cheering for him yo, he’s their number one product,

The bats through the zone, smooth with the flow,

No dive at 2^nd or 3^rd brotha,

So the soap opera is told and unfolds,

I suppose it's old partner', but the hitting goes on

Da da dum da dum da da

x2

(You better lose yourself in the hitting, the moment

You own it, you better never let it go go

You might get one shot, do not miss your chance to soar

This opportunity might come once in a lifetime yo)



No more games, his bat is nicknamed ‘rage’,

Tear this gosh darned roof off like two dogs caged,

He was playing in the beginning, the mood all changed,

He been singling, doubling and swinging on the stage,

But he kept his timing and stepping right at the pitcher,

Best believe somebody's paying the pied piper,

All the swings inside amplified by the,

Fact that he can hit it on a line to,

Any field, and he can provide the right type of hits for his teammates,

Cause man, these gosh darned aluminum bats hit it solid,

And it's no movie, there's no Kevin Costner, this is ain’t Bull Durham,

And these hits are so hard and their getting even harder ,

Trying to run out infield single, plus,

Teeter tottering, caught up between being a legend and a prima donna,

Grisslies standings drama, gaining on ‘em and,

Too much for me to wanna,

Stay in one spot, batters box is like a jail to him,

Has gotten him to the point, he’s like a snail,

I've got to formulate a plot and hit that ball on the spot,

Success is my only gosh darned option, failure's not,

Teammates, I dig you, but when I hit you’ve got to go,

I cannot grow old in the batters box,

So here I go is my shot.

Feet fail me not cause this might be the only opportunity that I got



x2

(You better lose yourself in the hitting, the moment

You own it, you better never let it go go

You might get one shot, do not miss your chance to soar

This opportunity might come once in a lifetime yo)



You can do anything you set your mind to, man

The GAME



Let me get the "we lost" part out of the way 1st, because that wasn't the story today.

We Lost. There. Done.

There were a few things worth discussing about last nights game. The 1st was that it was Grisslie fan appreciation night. Our fans (we hit double digits AGAIN), have been loyal, loud and tons of fun all year! Particularly Sue, Deb and Michelle who can always be counted on to start the wave. I should mention Jim too, who was a bleacher creature while the hip was healing. Honest, heartfelt thanks to all.

Then we had the batting race. Barring a team scoring a 100 runs in an open inning this week and a person going 14/14 in a game, there were only three things that could possibly happen this week. 1) Doyle does great and wins. 2) McCarron does great and wins. 3) Both tank and someone comes from behind to win. So Doyle & the Wild played Wednesday and Mark threw the gauntlet down and went 3/4. Rob would have to match that to win the title.

More background.

I dropped by McCarron's on Wednesday night and found out that he was just this side of the grave. He sounded awful and didn't look much better, but he claimed that he wouldn't miss the game. It should be noted that Rob HAD the batting lead and if he didn't play he would win outright. McCarron, in addition to leading in average, had the most the most at bats and the most hits of anyone in the 25. It wouldn't be a cheap win.

But that ain't Rob.

Ignoring medical advice and looking pretty sluggish Rob showed up a good 3 or 4 minutes before game time (Wynnyk won the pool on what time he'd get there). Anyway, he was so hoarse that he could hardly talk and not quite his normal sparky self in the outfield. Despite that, McCarron went 4/4 and they were all long and solid hits. So barring someone going 14/14, it looks like we have a winner. Congrats and well deserved!

Then we have Dave "Cabernet sauvignon" McGovern who played his first game of the year in the outfield and he looked great there. Not particularly busy mind you, but good. While signing autographs after the game, Dave could be heard saying, "whatever helps the team....I'll be there".

The next week will be busy with interviews and playoff profiles!

Stay tuned.

Out.