Week 2 - 2015, BLOG edition

General Week 2 Info

As the BLOG continues to evolve and I figure out the frequency and timing of this thing, I thought I'd just pass on some info.

Where are the stats????:  Easy kids.  Yes the stats have transitioned to Lou to track.  We have a new Web Master and new Statistician, but neither of them are the cause for why the stats and standings aren't on the website.  Changing from 15 to 14 teams has necessitated a lot of format changes.  While we have all the data, it looks like hell.  We'll get it sorted out in the next week or so.

• But I know your antsy, so I'll let you know that the Grisslie Captains are a combined 14/17 .826 with 7 runs scored.
• Jens and Steve have 9 runs scored to lead the captain combos and Don and Hugh are tied with in second with 7.  
• The Draft Kings Stike and Chuck, batting a 1.000 are the only captains ahead of the Grisslie dynamic duo for average.  
• The Gruesome Devils are the only 2-0 team .
• The Hot Tub Woody's, Rusty Rebels and Tap Masters are all 0-2.  
• The Woody's got 4/5 top six votes.
• The Rebels 2/5 
• The Tap Masters 2/5.  
• The Draft Kings, Master Batters, Dog Catchers, Dusty Cleats, Hurtin' Units and Beer Brothers sit at 1-0.
• The Sons Of Pitches and Grisslies are the only 1-1 teams. 
• The Dodge City Rounders and Sliders sit at 0-1.  

Heard or seen at the Park:  

• The Master Batters 1st ever game.  They're the home team.  Dave Fleming needs to put the bases in and walks up to Rob Farah and says, "got a hammer?"  Let that one sink in.  
• The Draft Kings gave up 1 run in their opener, against a team that scored 21 in their second game, so they're not dogs.  That's crazy.  
• Se non avente sentitio Tito raccontare la storia "detonatore", consultare il.  Sarabbe felice di dirvi.  Se non lo vedi, io posso dire in mia voce Tito.  
• If you haven't heard Tito tell you the Detonator" story, please ask him.  He would be happy to tell.  If you don't see him, I can tell you in my Tito voice.  
• You would think that most teams would be disappointed with a 0-2 start.  Not Hugh Armstrong!  They're 0-2 with a minus 13.  They are light years ahead of last years pace of 0-2 and minus 30!
• Beer Cup - More on this next week, but the Sons Of Pitches paid for a jug of beer for the Draft Kings (like they need help) who stole the cup from them.  The Draft Kings will get a chance to defend the cup against two 2-0 teams, the Rusty Rebels and the Tap Masters.  If either team wins they will carry it into week 3.  

The Conversation

For anyone who's bothered to follow along here, you know that there are some teams in "the best of all-time" conversation.  Not single-season, which is a whole other debate, but the best over the long haul.  I think maybe I'll do a ranking of them all one week to really stir the pot. 

Anyway, one of those teams that has to merit serious consideration is the Brew Jays.  Best regular season winning percentage ever, finishes of 2nd, 5th, 1st and 3rd before finally having one down year at 12th where they were eliminated early from the playoffs.  The other four years saw a Saturday elimination, a final appearance and 2 quarter finals. 

The architects of this great great squad were Rod Duggan and Bo Niederhuber.  They had an even keel approach that seemed to work.  They gave up their team this year and returned as 'players'; Rod with the Grisslies and Bo with the Hurtin' Units. 

So last week I'm in the Legion after the game and Bo and Rod are both their with their new teams.  While I was in the lineup for a pint, I heard this conversation. 

Rod:  How'd it go?
Bo:    Good, we won!
Rod:  Ya, us too.  We're 1-1. 
Bo:    Wow.  When was the last time you were .500?
Rod:  Banshees.  2009.
Bo:    You okay?
Rod:  I guess.  If we reel off 11 in a row it'll feel normal again. 
Bo:    I hear you.
Rod:  So how's the team.  What's it like playing for Mike and James?
Bo:    I have to say I'm pretty shocked. 
Rod:  Thank God!  I thought I was alone.  These's guys are crazy. 
Bo:    Oh ya?  That's not what I meant though.  James and Mike are great!
Rod:  Really?
Bo:    Sure!  We did the meet-the-team thing at Mike's. 
Rod:  That's nice.  Did he do a BBQ or something?
Bo:    Umm.  No, not really.  It was catered.   
Rod:  Catered?  Seriously?
Bo:    Ya.  I'm feeling kind of bad for you.  Maybe I'll just stop talking. 
Rod:  Its okay.  Don't sweat it.  So catered how?  Pizza?  Maybe wings?
Bo:    Sorry, no.  It was Lobster. 
Rod:  LOBSTER???
Bo:    Ya, but don't make a big deal about it.  They were pacific lobsters, not Atlantic.  And you know what, the asparagus wasn't even bacon wrapped. 
Rod:  Great, so your winning, eating well and I'm stuck with Lauel and Hardy.  Anything else with the Hurin' Units?
Bo:    Well.  There's the wagon. 
Rod:  What the hell is 'the wagon'?
Bo:    They carry their bats and their equipment in a wagon. 
Rod:  Come on. 
Bo:    Swear to god.  If we had a wagon we could have captained for another 2 or 3 years. 
Rod:  At least!
Bo:    How do the Grisslies manage the bats. 
Rod:  They have a Les Vadja?
Bo:    Whats that?
Rod:  The rookie. 
Bo:    The rookie carries the bats?
Rod:  Yep. There may be slave labour or hazing laws being broken, but I have to say that Doug and Rob's knees are a lot better than ours ever were. 
Bo:    My knees are great now.
Rod:  Really?  New meds?
Bo:    Nope.  The team massage therapist. 
Rod:  Of course. 
Bo:   Ya some Sven dude from Sweden.
Rod: Jens?
Bo:   SVEN!  anyway, 3 minutes for every player before the game and its like your 15 again.
Rod:  Stupid and don't have a licence?
Bo:   No.  Young and no pain!
Rod: 3 minutes?  That's bull.
Bo:   He doesn't even need that.  He just goes around and touches everyone on the neck and your totally healed.  You should see Scott Peters.  He's running like an Olympian.
Rod: Never heard of him.
Bo:   I just met him.  Been in the league for years apparently.  Keeps asking me if I'm "radar".
Rod: Oh you got the Radar guy?
Bo:   No.  The guy looking for the Radar guy.
Rod: Screw it.  When do you play next week.
Bo:  We're on the road for 2 next week.
Rod:   On the road, please.
Bo: Ya.  On the road!  Sons Of Pitches Tuesday and Beer Bros., Wednesday.
Rod:   What's the deal with pointing out home and road?
Bo:  Hotels.  You only get the room paid for on the road.  If your at home you're on your own
Rod: This is nuts.
Bo:   [to the legion bartender]  2 jugs of coors light please.
Rod: Where's your wallet?
Bo:  Don't need it.
Rod: why not
Bo:   [to the legion bartender]  On the Hurtin' Units account please.
Rod:  Oh, come on!!!
Rob Farah:  HEY RON, CAN YOU GET SOME CHIPS WHILE YOU'RE UP THERE?  
Rod:  ITS ROD!!!
Rob Farah:  OK ROG!
Rod: These guys are brutal.
Bo:   Sorry Rog.

The Story

Do you know Will?

Allow me to introduce you. 

Beards are funny.  Not necessarily funny looking, just ---- funny. 

For instance.  You know the band ZZ Top?  They are a trio of musicians who are known for their beards almost as much as they're know for producing Don Cherry's into song.  However, did you know that only 2 of the 3 have beards?  Sure you did.  But I bet you didn't know that the one guy who doesn't have a beard is named Frank Beard. 

See?  Beards are funny. 

How about this.  The school BYU in the states has a zero tolerance no-beard policy.  Its a clean leaving, proper decorum thing.  BYU is named after Brigham Young, the president of the Latter Day Saints, was the governor of Utah and was the founder of Salt Lake City.  So his school's no-beard policy must be a reflection of him, right?

Brigham Young.

Beards are funny that way.

Some of the most honest, most trustworthy, most creative people in history have had beards.  Abraham Lincoln.  Leonardo DaVinci. Steve Jobs.  The prophet Muhammad.  Jesus. 

Which brings me back to the honest, trustworthy and creative Will.  I asked him at the 'meet the team night', to tell me something interesting about his beard.  Something I could write a little bit about.  I got more than I expected.  Will sent me a note, "I sometimes hide things in my beard, would that work?"

Ya.  Beards are funny.  Tell me what you've got.  Will sent me pictures.  Really, not at ALL what I expected. 

This is Will storing Bows for Jo.  That's good husbanding. 

This is Will supplying his own candles for his 19th birthday.  When you legally go to a bar for the 1st time, its always cool to do something memorable.  Mission accomplished. 

You many not recognize this right way, but Will has 12 pieces of Salt Water Taffy in his beard.  He claims that he always brings enough for everyone on the team, but no one ever seems to want a piece.

Will is busy.  He's all over the outfield running like a demon.  He hits, runs the bases and scores runs.  When he's not doing all of those things, he's coaching 3rd or 1st.  He is a BUSY guy!  But still, all those things considered, he'll sit on the bench when he gets a second, pull out a crayon and colour us a picture. 

The man has a gift.  Just resign yourself to that fact.  Did you know for instance that Will made an adult sized chesterfield completely out of lego?  True story.   He's also known to carry lego in his beard for those spur of the moment projects. 

Lights aren't working Keogh?  No sweat. 

Will's obsessive compulsive cleanliness is a double edged sword.  Sure, he always smells like Old Spice Fiji on the bench, but honestly, the guys are getting a little tired of the offers for Q-tips. 

 Snack?  Will always has spaghetti!

 The Grisslies can always share drinks because Will has straws at the ready. 

The tooth-pic stunt earned Will the nickname "the Porcupine". 

I know that you're thinking that these umbrella's are for drinks at the Legion.  You couldn't be more wrong.  While he doesn't like to talk about it, Will suffers from Ombrophobia which is the uncontrollable fear of rain.  If there is even the slightest threat in the sky, out come his umbrellas.
 

And then of course, we have Will's go-to snack.  Gummy-Beards!

This Week's Games