Part IV of a Trilogy of IV V
The Detour
PART I - Background
PART II - The Dancey Interview
PART III - The Furious Five
So much for a four part trilogy.
As usual there was a huge gap in the story. And, equally as usual, there was a curve ball, in a non-baseball sense. The meeting with the Furious Five was very entertaining, but nothing further happened after the fire pit rendezvous. Chance meetings with these boys returned to business as usual affairs. Not even a nudge or a wink through the playoffs. It was like the Grand Master Flash conversation never happened. The Dancey interview? A distant memory.
The finals were played. The Wild won. Again. Fall came. The AGM came and went and a long arduous winter set in.
As things began to thaw in 2011, I was finally able to look ahead to the baseball season and penetrating the mystery again. Thank god.
The first big item on the season's roster was rookie night at the Legion! This is where all new players to the league are invited for a pint and introductions to the captains.
I didn't stay too late that night and as I was walking home, a car pulled up beside me. The window opened a crack and an ominous voice firmly said, "get in". It didn't sound like a request. So like any normal person would do, I hopped in!
I barely made it into the seat before the car sped off like it was shot out of a slingshot. Zero to whatever in seconds. A quick and very nervous glance around showed the driver as the only occupant in the car. As we hit Queen street he skidded on two wheels to avoid a fire hydrant. The light at Mill Street turned green just as we reached it and he banked hard again heading west bound past the conservation area.
Finally moving a straight line, I felt confident enough to look over at the driver and saw....Jens Lepa? Seriously? About the nicest guy in the league (not counting Scott Peters) driving like a madman, pretty much abducting a fellow player off the street and sweating bullets.
Me: [yelling] Jens, what the hell is going on?
Jens: [edgy, talking fast] You're in over your head Dwyer. This is bigger than you know.
Me: What are you talking about? What's over my head? (not wanting to give away what I knew)
Jens: I'm not making short jokes here Doug. You know exactly what I'm talking about [turns south on the Adjala town line]. This is no game. I know about your interview.
Me: Are you talking about Jeff Dancey? I haven't done any interviews since then.
Jens: Don't screw around with me Dwyer. They're watching. Dancey is small Tomatoes.
Me: Potatoes?
Jens: No thanks, I'm too worried to eat. We know about the Furious Five. We know about Grand Master Flash. We know about "53". We know about the Kawatche caves. We know plenty that you haven't even scratched the surface of. You're playing with dangerous people. Oh the things I've seen Hargreaves do to a man. [shudders]
Me: Okay, I have way too many questions. [car turns again onto highway 9 heading east to Newmarket]. Lets start with, who are 'we'?
Jens: 'We' are me and my partner. 'We' have been researching this long before you came into the picture and started dropping painfully obvious clues into your stupid BLOG. We've uncovered almost enough to topple this house of cards and 'we' are not about to let you blow years of research.
Me: Why are you driving like a mad man?
Jens: Because [raising his voice and still talking fast] they're onto you. They might be onto me too. Its just a matter of staying low key, undercover and out of their way.
Me: Okay, okay, okay....just relax. Tell me what you know.
Jens: [glances in his rear view mirror] In due time. It looks like we're not being followed. [He slows just under the speed of sound] We are meeting my partner in a secret location in Newmarket. I suggest you sit back and take it easy for 15 minutes.
[Four minutes later, pulling into the Taco Bell on Yonge St. in Newmarket]
Jens: We're here.
Me: you're hungry now?
Jens: Hungry? No. I told you that when you offered me potatoes. Why do carry potatoes with you anyway? Never mind, this is the meeting location.
Me: I thought you said it was a secret? In a Taco Bell parking lot?
Jens: No. Don't be afraid to use your brain from time to time, there's nothing secret about a parking lot. We're meeting INSIDE the Taco Bell.
Me: Of course we are!
[We walk inside the restaurant, there are a few people sitting around eating, mostly bean burritos as I recall. In the corner is a man standing over a table with his back to us, he's intently scouring papers that are strewn across 3 tables.]
Jens: Hey, I've got him.
[The man turns to face us, its Scott Peters! Seriously? About the nicest guy in the league (not counting Jens Lepa)]
Me: Okay, this is completely wacko. YOU TWO are the counter-culture to the evils lurking behind this league?
Scott: Pretty much, but we're not so sure its "evils" per-se.
Me: Right Scott. Secret society, secret organization, a leader no one can identify, Jens freaking out that we're being watched, sounds totally normal.
Jens: We debate this ALL THE TIME.
Scott: Did he drive like a nut case again?
Me: Ya think? We got here in 4 minutes!
Scott: We talked about this Jens
Jens: [checking the door] Look, you handle things your way. Me? I'm taking no chances.
Me: I thought you guys were on the same side? Jen's said you were partners.
Scott: Yeah, we've worked together to gather data, but our interpretation of it is very different. I think we're dealing with a largely benevolent organization that has no intention of doing anything sinister, they are just clandestine about what they are up to and why.
Jens: Yeah, sounds completely plausible in a "Scott's lost his mind" kind of way. I don't know that we're talking about world domination here, but we are clearly about to witness the imminent fall of New Tecumseth
Me: The "fall of New Tecumseth"? What would that even look like.
Jens: [shivers] New Tec will be unrecognizable. Like the desserts of Tatooine. Like Bruce Jenner after his face lift. Like when Celine Dion covered "Shook me all night long". Like when -
Scott: Dude, we get it, it'll be bad.
Me: Wait a minute - did Celine Dion really cover "shook me all night long"?
Jens: Normally, I have NOTHING bad to say about Quebec or Queen Celine; but her version of "shook me all night long" is the perfect song to play if you've just ingested poison and urgently need to induce vomiting.
Me: I guess so!
Me: So Scott, you guys have divergent conclusions, I'm pretty clear on Jens apocalyptic tale. Can you expand on yours?
Scott: I'm stuck between two theories right now. One is that the league founders, or at least a component of them are; aliens.
Me: Okay, I think I'm done. [taking a step to the door] I can hitch-hike back to town.
[Jens puts a gargantuan hand on my shoulder and pushes me back into a poorly designed acrylic swivel seat. It was almost, but not quite, entirely unlike a real chair.]
Scott: The second theory, and this one is a little weird, is that -
Me: Weirder than aliens?
Scott: Yes, weirder than aliens. The second is that the founders actually date back to 1867 and the first professional baseball league. And actually, there is a third theory that combines the two.
Me: Before I get the straight jackets, do you have ANY evidence?
Jens: [agitated and talking fast again] Do we ever! You know how Velcro isn't from earth, right?
Me: [I look at Scott, who I'm surprised to see is nodding in agreement] You two seem pretty sure, I'll play along. Where is it from again?
Jens: You seriously don't know? [Jens looks again at Scott, who shrugs] Okay, the year is 1947 - a spaceship crash lands just outside of Roswell New Mexico. After a subsequent cover up by the government (who may or may not have been aliens themselves), the remnants of the crash were moved 500 miles north west to an area called "Paradise Ranch" by the army. You might know Paradise by Ranch by the CIA's name for it: The CIA calls it "Area 51".
[Scott nodding]
Later that year Velcro is "supposedly" invented. But its common knowledge that its alien technology stolen from what was initially thought to be seamless spacesuits.
[Scott still nodding]
Me: Okay. I need to make sure I've got this right. So a space ship crashes?
Jens: Yep, its a documented fact!
Me: And the government covers it up and moves everything to an army base?
Scott: We know this to be 100% true.
Me: And I can only assume that scientists poured over the wreckage, the aliens, the contents of what was on board, everything - right?
Jens: Damned straight.
Me: And you're telling me that the ONLY thing we got out of that entire exercise was Velcro?
[Jens and Scott look at each other]
Jens: Look, you can believe or not believe. There was no Velcro before Roswell and there was Velcro after Roswell. Do the math.
Me: Okay, so lets say I believe it. What is the relate to the league and the Founders?
Scott: Well Sherlock, look at all the older guys in the league, and I mean ALL of them. What do they have in common? They DON'T DROP THE BALL. EVER.
Me: Ahhh...and of course you think that they are using Velcro for some kind of an unfair advantage.
Scott: No. Obviously Velcro was a precursor to more advanced alien technology. They are using something, probably involving vulcanized rubber, magnets and egg yolks.
Me: [shaking my head] Still need proof boys. What have you really got.
Scott: Look at this picture. Notice anything?
Jens: Look closer.
Me: I've got nothing.
Scott: Bottom row, far right.
Me: What? The freakishly tall guy with the moustache?
Jens: Yeah. Ever see someone sit exactly like that waiting to get served at the legion?
Me: Maybe, I don't know...Actually, okay...Gord Robertson sits like that and kind of looks a bit like that guy too. "a bit!"
Scott: DAMNED STRAIGHT HE DOES!
Jens: No doubt about it. Its Robertson alright.
Me: Guys! No way. This is conjecture not evidence. Its not even a picture, its a drawing of a picture.
Jens: Should I tell him?
Scott: Go ahead.
Jens: [Jens takes a deep breath] You actually discovered the last bit of evidence that tied it all together.
Me: Really? This should be good.
Scott: Remember the codes you found in the logo?
Me: Yep
Scott: Well one in particular were the letters, Σ σ ς, which were adapted from Greek to be combined into one letter in the Phoenician alphabet.
Me: I know, I covered all this.
Scott: Sort of. You were right that it represented the letter Sigma and that the letter looked like a "W". However, you didn't finish decoding the cryptology. Sigma is the 18th letter in the Greek alphabet. The 18th letter of our alphabet is an "R". Gords last name starts with an "R". It has to be Robertson who is the ringleader, It has to be Robertson who is the brains behind whatever is going on here. It can't be a coincidence.
Me: Uhhhh. Yes it can. What about what about Steve Ross? What about Brian Richards? What about Jim Rouleau? Their names start with "R's". Why not them?
Jens: Because none of those guys are in that picture.
Scott: Actually, we thought about that....but there is something else. Gord Robertson hasn't aged in the last 15 years. Have you noticed? He's looked the same for years. In fact, you could build an argument that he's getting better every year. You saw him hit a ball out of Keogh this year. You know how good he is. How can this be possible? Ask yourself this Doug, 'how can a guy suddenly start hitting home runs and balls against the fence seemingly out of nowhere? Particularly at the age he CLAIMS to be. How can he have reflexes like lightening at first base? How is it that he NEVER drops a ball?' If you have an answer, let us know because we've got nothing.
Me: Okay, NOW you might be on to something. But I still feel like there needs to be something more substantial.
Jens: Well he does have a Cincinnati Reds cap.
Me: Like I said - more substantial.
Scott: Look at this [pointing down to one of the pieces of paper on the table top]
Me: At that red dot there?
Scott: No, that's where I spilled taco sauce....I meant here [points again]
Jens: Mmmmm, taco sauce.
Me: Yeah, its a picture of letter "T" from the Old Timer's logo?
Scott: Sort of. It looks exactly the same doesn't it? But its a 500 year old drawing from those Kawatche caves. Eerie, isn't it?
Me: Get out! Our logo is EXACTLY the same.
Jens: But here is the really weird part....guess who was on the committee to design the Logo?
Me: No way.
Scott & Jens: Gord flippin' Robertson!
[My mind is reeling now. I absently take a bite of a half eaten seven layered burrito] [I find it somewhat lacking in avocado, but otherwise pretty good]
Me: Okay, I think you've got enough. I'm still not buying the whole alien thing, but you've done enough to convince me that Robertson is the Grand Master. I Still don't know what end he's working toward, although I doubt that its the imminent fall of New Tecumseth. The question is, what do we do now?
[Jens & Scott look at each other] [ Scott nods]
Jens: Now we confront him. We'll need weapons.
Scott: JENS! enough of the pending doom! We just need to get him alone.
Me: Any ideas on how to do that?
Scott: I have a thought. A couple of years ago, Jim Rouleau accidentally sent a meeting announcement for the Furious Five out to the whole league.
Jens: [Aside] Rouleau sucks at forwarding emails.
Scott: Maybe we can reproduce that message format and lure him to a fake meeting with the Furious Five?
Me: Sounds like a good idea, can you get this together soon?
Jens: We have to be sure of the syntax or he'll never buy it. Lets try to get this out by the start of the season, that would be May 4th.
Me: Okay, that is the day that we'll answer all of our questions.
Jens: [Undoing his jean jacket to reveal his Habs jersey.] You know there is no cryptology in the Hab's logo right? This Hab's fans burning in hell stuff is a load of crap.
Me: If that helps you sleep at night, sure. Don't trip over Center H'Ice.
NEXT CHAPTER: Confrontation
THE SPEECH
We are fortunate on the Grisslies to have two fast as lightening lead off hitters. Jerry Muirhead is one and Jim Hunter is the other. Capt'n Rob decided to pay homage to Mr. Hunter this week by dipping into the 80's vault and pulling out some Duran Duran! I'm sure everyone remembers "Hungry Like The Wolf", I'm sure more of you are still trying to forget it.
Now we have the new and improved version called "Hunter Drank Them Both". For music, CLICK ME
Hunter drank them both
Darken the Legion, night is a fire
Witnessed by the barkeep, or my co-captain isn't Dwyer.
Do do do do do do do dodo dododo dodo
Woman, "I'm ordering, I gave you the sign,
A beer with a chaser trailing closer behind."
Do do do do do do do dodo dododo dodo
"I'm so Eastbound and down,
I am the Hunter I'm after two,
I like to pound, I'm not lost in a crowd"
Yes, Hunter drank them both...
Straddle the line between lager and lime
I am the Hunter I'm after two
Mouth is alive he'll even drink wine
Yes, Hunter drank them both...
Stuck in the bar line, Jimmy stands there with pride,
Slowly he's moving, he won't be denied.
Do do do do do do do dodo dododo dodo
The wait wasn't too bad, tonight is his night
He's got Scotch and Corona, now its time to unwind
Do do do do do do do dodo dododo dodo
"I'm so Eastbound and down,
I am the Hunter I'm after two,
I like to pound, I'm not lost in a crowd"
Yes, Hunter drank them both...
Straddle the line between lager and lime
He is on the Hunter, he's after two
Mouth is alive now he even drinks wine
Yes, Hunter drank them both...
Hunter drank them both...
Hunter drank them both...
Hunter drank them both...
I'm so Eastbound and down,
I am the Hunter I'm after two,
I like to pound, I'm not lost in a crowd"
Yes, Hunter drank them both...
Straddle the line between lager and lime
He is the Hunter, he's after two
Mouth is alive, he'll even drink wine
Yes, Hunter drank them both...
THE GAME
There was a game?
Right. So the 6-3 Grisslies versus the 3-6 Red Dogs.
Lets put this game in perspective, shall we? The Grisslies came into this game 5-0 over their last five games. The Red Dogs were 2-3 over their last five. The Grisslies scored an average of 19 runs over their last five while the Red Dogs averaged 13.8.
Its time to just be honest about this...it was going to be a cake walk.
Right?
Not so much. Candy (Bob, not Mike) had a game plan mapped out for this tilt. Obviously. Once he heard that Bob "Minnesota" Smith wasn't going to be playing, he instructed ALL his players to hit it to the replacement short stop. Now I've ALWAYS gotten along with Bob, but I have to admit that it hurt a bit to see Steve "Dead-Pull" Brooks trying to hit to short.
Despite the questionable defense from the left side of the infield, we held the Red Dogs below their average at 13 runs. However, we were pretty atrocious on offense. Now I don't throw words like "atrocious" (a word that I can't even spell without help) around without cause. We got a nice ITP Home Run from Dave "the contradiction" Argue, but beyond that....ugh.
The Grisslies were 15 runs behind their average scoring only 4 freakin' runs.
Okay Grisslies...its man up time. All kidding aside, the Red Dogs earned their victory. Our outfield made no errors and gave up no extra bases...again. Our defense, over all, gave us every opportunity to win. The combination of Red's great pitching, Red's perfect fielding and excellent Red Dog infield play, prevented us from even coming close to getting a rally going.
We have have to 'own' the loss but move on. We have an undefeated team to play next on Thursday and we need to shake this one out of our system and be ready for the yellow bat-less team!
We're 6-4 and 5-1 over our last six. Pretty damned good. The team we're playing is only one game better at 6-0 over their last six.
Its show time.
EDITORS NOTE: The Donini three stars page is buggered. Buggered is a "technical" "IT" term for "screwed". Rob and I will try to put it back into its original form by Monday.
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