PREQUEL: Before I get into the meat of this BLOG, I wanted to make everyone aware of an upcoming exposè that will rock the Oldtimers league to its foundations. I was hoping to run this in a single BLOG edition but there is simply too much data. The secrets of this league are older and run deeper than anyone can imagine. It has taken me two and a half years to unravel the complexities of this plot of symbolism, sacrifice and world domination. The true story needs to be told with a full explanation because without the background and evidence it would just be dismissed like something out of the x-files or a cheesy novel. Here's a small snippet of what you can expect:
......
Jeff Dancey: [Whispering loudly again]. Look, all I can tell you is....it’s very cloak and dagger. [pause] [worried look] You know how the captains are part of the voting executive?
Doug Dwyer: Yes
Jeff Dancey: [Looking around] and then you have the smaller group made up of the elected executive?
Doug Dwyer: Of course
Jeff Dancey: Well lets just say that there is a group, within a group, within a group.
Doug Dwyer: Meaning?
Jeff Dancey: Do I have to spell it out? Okay. You know how the world economy is run by a group of 5 people; The Queen of England, The Vatican, The Rothschild's, the Getty's and Colonel Sanders?
Doug Dwyer: No. I'm Not familiar with that one.
Jeff Dancey: Gawd you are sheltered. Take the blinders off Dwyer and look around you. Trust me, they control the world's finances. Well its the same way with our league and the guy who.....
You won't BELIEVE where this goes!!! But for now, if anything were to happen to me, the full story has been sent to the Toronto Star, The Globe and Mail and The Oakville Beaver. They will release all the information in its entirety if I were to be otherwise unable. It doesn't necessarily protect me, but it does protect the story and my journalistic integrity.
Do not miss the BLOG on MAY 31st for the first full chapter in this very important series.
Now...today's actual story!
Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?
As you all know by this point; this town, and specifically this league is filled with people with past lives, hidden identities and people in witness protection programs. Nobody; from Pieman to IngoFische; nobody is "just a guy". That makes our wee little town and league pretty amazing to this mild mannered reporter.
Perhaps the best story out there is that of the Grisslies' very own Gord Robertson. Gord's background is quite interesting. I hate to use the word legend, so you can decide for yourself.
Gord's last known public appearance before retiring to Tottenham
Its common knowledge that Gord Robertson was born as Farrokh Bulsara in Stone Town, Zanzibar before he emigrated to Tottenham England. Once in the UK he immediately changed his name to Gord Robertson. The literal translation of Farrokh Bulsara is "equine toothed", but that didn't seem to be a particularly attractive choice in names.
As a young man he excelled admiring his own jet-black perfectly styled hair and popularized the open shirt, blazer look twenty years before Don Johnson and Miami Vice. Good looking, he could sing, he was tall, chicks dug him, he had it all when he was young. Sure he had kind of elfish ears, but so what.
As a teenager in his "Goth" phase, Gord rocked the club scene in Manchester England. After trying his hand a new-fangled Asian gimmick called "karaoke" in 1971, he was immediately signed up to the rock band Queen.
It didn't start well as an early 70's Goth band. They played clubs all over the UK for two years with no real hope of the band being more than just recreational fun for the lads. Then one night on stage, the band collectively shook off their infatuation with morbid songs (which The Cure would eventually perfect) and broke into an impromptu jam session. From that session came the song "keep yourself alive" and a record deal!.
There was writer from Winnipeg in the club that night (swear to god) and he wrote a review of the performance for the Winnipeg Free Press (swear to god 2). He said that although they 'borrowed from other bands, they were still innovative. In his words, "the group manages to inject such a fresh, energetic touch to most of it that I don't mind a bit... With its first album, Queen has produced a driving, high energy set which in time may be looked upon with the same reverence Led Zeppelin 1 now receives." (swear to god 3)
It didn't start well as an early 70's Goth band. They played clubs all over the UK for two years with no real hope of the band being more than just recreational fun for the lads. Then one night on stage, the band collectively shook off their infatuation with morbid songs (which The Cure would eventually perfect) and broke into an impromptu jam session. From that session came the song "keep yourself alive" and a record deal!.
There was writer from Winnipeg in the club that night (swear to god) and he wrote a review of the performance for the Winnipeg Free Press (swear to god 2). He said that although they 'borrowed from other bands, they were still innovative. In his words, "the group manages to inject such a fresh, energetic touch to most of it that I don't mind a bit... With its first album, Queen has produced a driving, high energy set which in time may be looked upon with the same reverence Led Zeppelin 1 now receives." (swear to god 3)
What you need to know about the mid 70's is that Zeppelin was king. When you look at the 60's, protest / underground bands had very little commercial success. But this was a new era; when a band could be acclaimed by critics, have something of value to say AND make money. However, nipping at Zeppelin's heals were Queen led by our very own Gord Robertson.
As is often the case in these conflicts, it came down to a show down. One day in 1978 at Wembley Stadium, Gord and Robert Plant faced off.
The battle was long and hard fought. But you can see by Plant's face who was victorious. As Connor MacLeod, "there can only be one". Zeppelin tried to lure Robertson away from Queen, but our hero was far to loyal for that. Zeppelin, in shame, broke up shortly there after.
GORD IS THE CHAMPION
Shortly after the show down a statue was erected in Gord's honour.
Then the trouble started. Gord hit the jet setter party circuit.
Gord getting liquored up with Bono
and Adam Clayton from U2 (back when they were
know as "You Also")
Gord and Bowie, hammered and arguing over
who shot JR.
Gord with Dustin Hoffman at the premiere of Rain Man.
Gord was immitating Dustin which caused an
all out brawl.
The fights, binging and general hard living eventually took its toll and like all former famous people Gord sought out the freedom and tranquility that can only be found found in Tottenham Ontario. But every once in a while on a cold winter night, you can find Gord going back to his roots and doing some karaoke in a local establishment.
J. Marks, November 2010
THE SPEECH
I'm not embarassed to say that most of the reason for the BLOG approaching 50,000 life time page loads is due to the international renown of Rob's speeches. Over the last two days the BLOG has hits from: The States, Australia, the UK, Philippines, India, Brazil, Pakistan, Greece, Russia, New Zealand, Ireland, Germany and Switzerland. There not coming for my quick wit and cunning word play. No, they're coming for the songs.
Case in point. Rob got a call from Paul Simon Just after the draft and pretty much begged Rob to use the song Mrs Robinson in one of the speeches this year. Paul Simon flew Rob to some liberal country that doesn't have an extridition treaty with Canada and they spent a weekend on this, getting it just right. And they partied too; but mostly they worked.
If you need a refresher on the tune, click below and read along with the lyrics on this page.
Here's to You, Gordon Robertson
And here's to you, Gordon Robertson
The infielders love you more than you will know (Wo, wo, wo)
God bless you please, Gordon Robertson
Heaven holds a place for those who play
(Hey, hey, hey...1st base he'll stay)
We'd like to know a little bit about you for our files
We'd like know where you learned to scoop poor throws
Look around you, all you see are a bunch of relieved guy
Every ball is snagged, no matter where it goes
And here's to you, Gordon Robertson
The infielders love you more than you will know (Wo, wo, wo)
God bless you please, Gordon Robertson
Heaven holds a place for those who play
(Hey, hey, hey...1st base he'll stay)
Can't hide him in a hiding place where no one ever goes
Way too tall for the pantry with your cupcakes
It's not a secret, Gord plays first base with flare
If he's late, he's signing autographs for the kids
Coo, coo, ca-choo, Gordon Robinson
The infielders love you more than you will know (Wo, wo, wo)
God bless you please, Gordon Robertson
Heaven holds a place for those who play
(Hey, hey, hey...1st base he'll stay)
Sitting in the dugout on a Sunday afternoon
The other teams bats should get a rebate
Laugh about it, shout about it
When you've got to choose
If you have Gord Robinson you can't lose
Where have you gone, Joe DiMaggio
The Grisslies turn their lonely eyes to you (Woo, woo, woo)
What's that you say, Mrs. Robinson
Joltin' Joe was no Gordie you don't say?
(Hey, hey, hey...1st base he'll stay)
THE GAME
Grisslies win, Grisslies win, theeeee Grisslies win!!!
Make the final 14-5. We got out to a great start scoring 5 in the first and 2 in the second while shutting out the Hot Tub Woody's. In the Third the Woody's jumped on us (figuratively) for 4 runs, but that was their only real threat.
We kept coming, scoring another 5 in the fourth inning and from there our defense was rock solid.
Jimmy the Wad was fabulous snaring line drives at first and third (not at the same time). Gord Robertson brought stability to 1st base unlike the dork who had been playing their for the first four games. The starting pitching was superb and the relief pitching excellent. And Jerry and The Master of Mayhem had no equals in the outfield.
The rest of us stayed out of the way. Oops, except for Jim Mannell who made a stellar play getting a critical out at home plate.
This is two game where we've had 11 or 12 players. One was a 13-4 win and the other a 14-5 win. We're a good defensive team that scores enough to be comfy when we have a full team.
Next up, last year's finalists. The always dangerous Dodge City Rounders!
Meet the 2011 Grisslies in a Pictorial! CLICK ME
See the Game 5 Donini three stars CLICK ME
2 comments:
Great blog I will add it to the Tottenham.ca directory.
That pic of Freddie with Dustin Hoffman is a lame photoshop job.
And the pic with "U2" isn't even U2 at all. That's Freddie with Mark O'Toole (the bass player for Frankie Goes to Hollywood) and Belouis Some (the blonde guy -- who doesn't look anything like Adam Clayton).
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