I sent James Taylor a note this morning saying that he was the run away leader in speculation for being The Batman. Here was his response, I'm not 100% sure that the door is closed on this but its pretty compelling. Is this the last word? Are there multiple 'batmen'???
Dear Douglas,
Holy Poll Question!! The poll results may believe that I may in fact be the Batman... Let me just start by asking a few questions?? Would the real Batman reveal his bat identity, even if a poll was correct?? I don't think so! Has anyone, including my nemesis The Pieman, ever seen me wearing a cape or tights?? I don't think anyone has seen me... Although my neighbors might dispute this answer. Has anyone ever seen a batmobile parked in my driveway? Many other vehicles, but never the batmobile... Does Mikey O. look like he could be the boywonder? Or would he even wear tights? And has there ever been a blog posting on the Hurtin' Units Blog where I used a picture of the bat mobile or Batman related sayings in the blog? Tune in next week for more answers to other bat questions...Same bat time, same bat channel...I hope this e-mail has put to bed (with Batman sheets and pillow cases) the notion that I am the Batman... I must run along, my butler Alfred has lunch ready...
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* The original BLOG follows below *
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The Intro
This edition of The BLOG is dedicated to The Batman. The Batman has become the greatest thing to happen to the BLOG since, well since the BLOG.
Its funny, Probably the most common question that I've been asked in the last month is; "are you The Batman. My answer is, "if I could think of stuff that funny, wouldn't I have written it in the first place!" So no, I am not The Batman - believe what you will. The second most common question I'm asked is, "do you know who the batman is?". This question poses a real dilemma for me.
The answer is, a) I don't know, and b) I'm not 100% sure that I want to know. Its like that kid in December that finds that wrapped box in the closet and is dying to know what's inside and resists day after day not to look. Finally, unable to stand the suspense he peels back the tiniest little corner of the wrapping paper to see what he can make of it. A day later another corner, then another, then another. Before you know it, the wrapping paper is in a heap at the bottom of the closet, the Steve Austin
That's where I am with The Batman. I want to know but I don't. I'm peeling back little corners of wrapping paper and hoping that I don't expose too much. So as much as want to poke around, I'm hoping the mystery remains.
You will notice that the poll this week is "Who is The Batman". There is some speculation that The Batman is a Grisslie. However, I'm not a 100% sure. It makes sense in some respects, but I think there are candidates out there from other teams. Some are noted in the poll and others are probably under the radar (not THAT Radar).
There is speculation that The Batman is one of our rookies. Both Greg "nickname pending" Tracey and Timmy "two-beer" Osmond are blessed with a very good sense of humour, but I think (this is just intuition) that The Batman is a league vet.
So, I don't like to talk about this too much, but I used to do profiling work for the FBI. You know, hand writing analysis, speech intonations, blah, blah, blah. Based on what I've been able to piece together, here is the profile I've build for the secret identity of The Batman.
- A league veteran, say 5 or more years (Might eliminate me and Doyle)
- Fits in easily socially but doesn't have a need to be the loudest voice at a table (Might eliminate me, Doyle and Danny)
- A good player, confident, relied upon by his team, probably rated 4 or better (Definitely eliminates me)
- Computer savvy (this one only really eliminates Ingo, I think everyone else in the league is computer savvy - BTW, Ingo is going to be pissed when he figures how to turn on his PC and reads this in November)
- Funny in a clever way, probably not a joke teller, more a story teller (eliminates Danny)
- Probably an infielder (they're smarter than outfielders - generally)
THE SPEECH
Rob decided that the team needed a rallying point after the listless loss from over a week ago. The talk around the Farah's over the last little while has been The Batman. Oh, and their new grandson! Oh and the green mark on the bumper of the truck. Oh yeah, also the BBQ is working great and July 1st was awesome!. But aside from ALL THAT, the talk is of The Batman. So Rob decided that he was going to use the theme from the original Batman show to build a song. However, after days and day of intense labour he just couldn't find anything to rhyme with "na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na, na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na, na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na, Batman!"
So, being the clever guy that he his, Rob took the old Spiderman cartoon theme song and reworked it to convey his Batman message. If for any reason you can't remember the original Spiderman theme, you can click on the song tittle to hear courtesy of our sponsors at YouTube.
The Batman, The Batman,
Takes shots and they are always dead pan
Dis's players, any time,
Early morning is when he seems to thrive
Look Out!
Here comes the caped Batman
Is he strong?
Listen bud,
He's can insult and be lucid.
He can type, he's not inbred
Take a look overhead
Hey, there
There goes the caped Batman.
In the chill of night
Players covered in grime
Under the Coventry lights
He's crafting all his lines.
The Batman, The Batman
The humorous neighborhood Batman
Wealth and fame
He's ignored
Poking fun is his reward.
To him, life is a great big bang up
The caped crusader has no hang ups
He is the oldtimer's Batman!
Takes shots and they are always dead pan
Dis's players, any time,
Early morning is when he seems to thrive
Look Out!
Here comes the caped Batman
Is he strong?
Listen bud,
He's can insult and be lucid.
He can type, he's not inbred
Take a look overhead
Hey, there
There goes the caped Batman.
In the chill of night
Players covered in grime
Under the Coventry lights
He's crafting all his lines.
The Batman, The Batman
The humorous neighborhood Batman
Wealth and fame
He's ignored
Poking fun is his reward.
To him, life is a great big bang up
The caped crusader has no hang ups
He is the oldtimer's Batman!
The GAME
I know Robbie was well intentioned with The Batman music, but I'm thinking he should have gone with Carlos Santana and Rob Thomas's "Smooth".
Man its a hot one,
Like seven inches from the mid day sun.
Holy stinking (sweat) cow, it was hot. I know everybody says (sweat) that its better than winter, but I'm (sweat) not 100% sure about that.
The (sweat) game started out with (sweat) the Grisslies giving up 3 runs in the 1st inning. From there on it was a really (sweat) even game. The defense (sweat) (sweat) was excellent for both sides and it turned out to be a low scoring affair (sweat) with the Grisslies dropping a one run (sweat) decision.
Usually, things don't feel (sweat) to good after a loss, but this (sweat) was a little easier to (sweat) take. I think the reason is that the game was more (sweat) of a survival contest (sweat) than an (sweat) actual game. Just making it to the 7th (sweat) inning was an accomplishment.
So the Grisslies are now 4-7 overall and 1-4 in the last 5. (sweat) That's not so good. We've played some (sweat) really good competitive games in that stretch (sweat) but their is something very (sweat) subtle missing. We may have hit on (sweat) it last night in the clubhouse when (sweat) Rob and I got a very helpful tip from (sweat) Stiffer. I think we'll (sweat) try it out in the next (sweat) game.
I'm off (sweat) to wring out my clothes and (sweat) say a prayer for those that have to play in (sweat) tonight's game. Its (sweat) supposed to be even worse!!!
14 comments:
Hey Batman,
Get off Robin and say something. Chicken
hey batman did the cat bite yout tongue
Maybe Cat woman's purr is worse than his bite?!?!?
maybe catwoman has bigger balls
Hmmmmm....Could it be that the Caped Crusader is feeling the pressure?
Where is Mr. Freeze when you need Him?
Riddle me this: What are the coldest 24 inches in the world????
Answer: Two cold feet!!!
Where is batman????
Robin: "Gad zuuks Batman, someone is really ticked off. They said you have 12" feet"
Batman: "well Robin, you know what they say...the bigger the feet..."
Alfred: " sir, I've run the comments through the Bat computer and here is the analysis of 'anonymous"
Batman: "Let's see; failed Kindergarten, it's someone who was off today or has the time from work.....that narrows it down to either Bell employees or an outfielder."
Egghead: " this is 'eggzactly' what I wanted...all these 'eggo' maniacs trying to get their 5 minutes of fame"
The Batman keeps his public waiting, but delivers in the clutch......DEFINITELY not an outfielder!
Wow, this has gotten out of cotrol. Not sure who can sort this mess out. I'm not normally a religious person but......Superman if you're up there please help us
meow
Quote from JT: "And has there ever been a blog posting on the Hurtin' Units Blog where I used a picture of the bat mobile or Batman related sayings in the blog?"
Yes there has!!
I win (meow)
"He says she jumps around like a cat. Do you know her?"
"Oh ya, HOT, BLACK LEATHER, WHIP!"
He's a lady
Whooa, whooa, whooa he's a lady
I'm talking about a little lady
and the lady is mine
WOW.
I never thought I'd see Tom Jones quoted on The BLOG! What's next? Brooksy quoting Celine Dion (again)?!?!?!
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