GRISSLIE ANTICS: Revisited

INTRO

It was reported here about a month ago that there would be a stark reduction in Grisslie antics for this coming season.   Of course, this arose from discussion at the Executive meeting that there was non-baseball stuff interfering with the actual baseball games.  Fair is fair, we need to address this stuff.

Rob has committed to cutting back some of the antics this year for the betterment of the league.  Personally, I think the antics ARE for the betterment of the league, but that's me and I never get anything passed so my vote doesn't count.

On the eve of the new season draft it seems as good a time as any to let new Grisslies as well as those people who have been around for a while know how the landscape has changed.  If you want to see how we got this far, you can read "HERE" and then come back to this. 

OH!  Welcome back.  So let's pick this up on the Donini deck where would make cuts to our antics for the upcoming season. 

Me: Well, are you ready to start planning out our "special events" for this season?
Rob: Yeah. 
Me:  Are you still planning on cutting things back?
Rob:  Yeah.  No wait.  Not cutting back, more like slashing.  Its too much, we gotta get a handle on this stuff.
Me: Okay, but I think people have come to expect this from us it might be a little awkward. 
Rob:  Well, nothing lasts forever; except Doris' injuries and my hangovers, so its time for a change.  Did you get the info I asked for?

 DORIS

Me:  Yeah, I have all the events we've done over the past couple of years.  We can go through them and decide what you want to keep and what you want to toss.
Rob:  Cool, lets review, but be warned, a lot is going.  
Me:  Alright.  I'm disappointed but I know where you're coming from.  Well first off, we have the annual Grisslie award banquet where everyone gets a little trophy or gift and few words said about them while we eat & drink.
Rob:  That stays.
Me:  Really?  Its the first one.  You don't want to have a "cut", "keep" and "maybe" list or something?  We should probably put this on the maybe.  Its an expense, not an on field activity.  Its questionable at best. 
Rob:  No, seriously, we need to keep that one.  In fact, we should make it bigger. 
Me:  Bigger?
Rob:  Yeah.  Lets bring it out of a restaurant and into a house.  Do a BBQ, make it an all day event, spouses, kids, maybe a band.  What do you think?
Me:  Wow.  Okay, Sure.  If that's what you really want.  Its not the direction I thought we would go, but okay.
Rob:  I know its the 1st one, but its a biggie.  We can't lose our Grisslie Award Banquet.

Me:  Maybe you're right.  We'll do one thing huge and then cut back.  Fair enough, we'll keep it.  #2, you did the whole "Chicks Dig Me" weekend long event last year. 
Rob: Right, obviously that's finished, but there may be something else to replace it.  
Me:  What do you mean. 
Rob:  We might get a guy on our team that loves fishing or something and we can do a Fish Dig Me event.
Me:  Fish dig me?  Really?
Rob:  Its just an example, don't take me so literally.  Maybe Moose Dig Me or Ashely Judd Digs Me.  I wouldn't say "no" to that one. 
Me:  Okay then, #3 was the Steve Ross / Richard Gere night. 
Rob:  Keep it. 
Me:  We can't do that again.  Its was fun, but its done. 
Rob:  Not Richard Gere, but there are 179 other guys who also look like famous people that we can build whole themes around. 
Me:  like?
Rob:  Like have you ever noticed that Al Bales looks like The Undertaker from WWE?  Or Derryl Gaudet has an uncanny resemblance to Darryl Sittler?  Or Jim MacDonald looks like a young Jean Claude Van Damme?  Or Jens Lepa is a dead ringer for Freddie "Boom-Boom" Washington from Welcome Back Kotter?
Me:  Washington was black.

Rob: Hey man, I don't see colours, just people.  I'm telling you, Washington and Jens are separated at birth.
Me:  Fine.  so this stays too.  #4, Mickey Mannell Hawaiian shirt night. 
Rob:  That stays. 
Me:  Why are we doing this?  Mannell has retired for one thing and there isn't exactly a plethora of guys sporting Hawaiian shirts. 
Rob:  I'm waiting for you to get to the tasteless ones.
Me:  The Hawaiian shirt night wasn't tasteless enough for you?
Rob:  No.  In fact, now that the Mick has retired, we may call him out for a special Hawaiian shirt tribute night!
Me: For the love of god.  Fine.  #5 Art Sagert's, celebration for his 1500th hit.  
Rob: Keep it.
Me:  Of Course
Rob:  There will be someone else with a monumental event.  3000 ABs, 1st stolen base, something.  We have to honor that stuff.  Plus, its fun to do an event with the Hot Tub Woody's, they dig doing this stuff too.
Me:  We're really not doing much to cut anything out. 
Rob:  Maybe I didn't make myself clear.  I want to get rid of the less important stuff. 
Me:  Like what?
Rob:  I DON'T KNOW!  You haven't gotten to them yet...keep going. 
Me:  What about opening night festivities?  That's #6.

Rob:  No way.  Opening night is like.....OPENING NIGHT!  You may as well cut off my right arm.  Granted I would still be one of the top three pitchers in the league left handed, but my balance would be WAY off.  No way, opening night stays.  
Me:  I'm not arguing anymore.  #7, rookie appreciation night. 
Rob:  Nope, that stays.  Hopefully we can hook up with Dodge City again and do a good rookie intro game. The only problem might be that new captain, "The Beechey".
Me:  I don't think The Beechey will be a problem.  #8, fan appreciation night.
Rob:  I'm glad you finally got to this one.
Me:  Really?  We're FINALLY going to cut something out???
Rob:  Ummmm.  No.  But I want to make this bigger and better than ever before!
Me:  You're kidding.
Rob:  No.  I'm dead serious about this one.  Its our signature. 
Me:  How can it be bigger?  We're already over the top with sponsors donating food and 4 teams participating and guys not even playing that night showing up.
Rob:  Geez.  You just can't think your way out of the small little box you live in can you?.  Its probably because you're short.  Think BIG!   We've outgrown Keogh, it can't hold anymore people for the event.  Do you remember last year?  Art Sagert was damn near crushed by the Cragg children.  Let's move it from Keogh to Coventry.  Let's make it a night that there are 2 games each C2 & C3.  That way we'll have 8 teams there to enjoy the fun!  Double the crowd!
Me: Okay, that's DEFINITELY bigger. 

Rob: That's why you're the "co-captain" and I'm the "pro-captain".  I think big. 
Me: Undoubtedly. 
Rob: What else to you have?
Me: Not much....you've exhausted my list.
Rob: So lets review what we've cut. 
Me: 
Rob: You're not saying anything. 
Me: Rob, we've cut nothing, we've added. 
Rob: That just can't be.  I promised that we'd cut back on the antics. 
Me: Well, I guess you'll just have to call it tomfoolery.
Rob: Maybe one day you'll be a "pro-captain" too.