The Intro
Everyone has heard the stories about elite athletes acting a little surly. From Maradona to Mario Lemieux to Barry Bonds to Vince Carter to Terrell Owens, there have always been the tales of the extraordinary athlete who thinks they are better than everyone else.
Our league is sadly not immune to such petulant behavior. Rest assured, we have ours as well.
In completely unrelated news, Danny Chiasson was kind enough to submit to an exclusive interview with "THE BLOG". Its rare to get some quality one on one time with one of the leagues best players and we at The BLOG consider ourselves to be very fortunate.
BLOG: Hey, Danny. Thanks for taking the time today. Do you have any objectives for today's interview? Any special messages that you want to convey?
DANNY: I don't usually read the papers during the season because I hate to be distracted from my game. But that being said, I know how this works. I know the BLOG misrepresents what people say and tries to make them look foolish...and that ain't gonna happen to me.
BLOG: Well, that kind of hurts Danny.
DANNY: Hey, I just call them like I see them.
BLOG: Like Roman?
DANNY: No, like the opposite of Roman!
BLOG: Hmmm, one line in and already attacking umpires. And you were worried about being misrepresented?
DANNY: Hey, he who lives by the sword doesn't bring a knife to a gunfight.
BLOG: Whoa! I think you're mixing your metaphors there Danny boy.
DANNY: Yeah I do it on purpose.
BLOG: Really? That could be an interesting thread. When did the mixed metaphor thing start happening?
DANNY: When we were kids, my 3rd grade teacher used to tell us all the time, "pair off in threes, line up in a circle and sort yourselves alphabetically by height".
BLOG: (LOL) - That's pretty funny.
DANNY: Yeah, it wasn't funny when 2 kids died trying to do it.
BLOG: I see. So you picked up on it and kept it going?
DANNY: Well, a Leopard can't change his stripes can he?
BLOG: No, I suppose not. So, do you have any nicknames?
DANNY: I have a few, most notably "Woody". But I've been thinking of getting a new one. I'm kicking around a few right now.
BLOG: Care to share what they might be?
DANNY: Well, I'm toying with "Captain Awesome".
BLOG: That's kind of self-aggrandizing isn't it?
DANNY: You know, you're not the only one with a vocabulary buddy! You think you're so smart because you know "words". Well I know what aggrandizing means and I most definitely CAN NOT move things with my mind! However, I think that "Captain Awesome" kind of catches the whole awesomeness of my .... awesomeness.
BLOG: Awesome
DANNY: Awesome-R actually, but whatever. I'm ambidextrous.
BLOG: You can throw with both hands?
DANNY: No, I mean, like - "I don't care" or "whatever", you know?
BLOG: Oh, you mean ambivalent, not ambidextrous.
DANNY: Right! You can take that to the bank and smoke it!
BLOG: That third grade teacher left a lasting impression!
DANNY: Why do you say that?
BLOG: You're still mixing metaphors.
DANNY: Its not rocket surgery, but it does take some practise.
THE SPEECH
This was a last minute re-write as Rob was concerned about one of our rookies, Tim. Tim goes by the nicknames of "two beer Timmy", "Don't call me Donny" and "Run through the bag Tim". Some of you may know that Tim has been having a bit of a struggle lately. This correspondence between Tim and Rob is 100% accurate (with the exception of a couple of words that needed to be changed for the sake of rhyming.) The tune for this one is to Eminim's STAN!
TIM
Chorus:
My beer’s gone warm I'm wondering why I,
Flied out to left at all
The evening rain messed up the infield.
and I can't see the ball
And even if I could it'd all be gray,
Flat on my face I would fall,
It reminds me, that I play so bad,
Play so bad..
Dear Rob, I’m swinging the bat hard but they ain’t fallin’,
I set my feet, tap my cleats, and the batting gloves, I got ‘em.
I always take a strike like you said, just like your buddy Bartens,
There probably was a problem with my back swing or something
Sometimes I think my practice swings are too sloppy when I swing them
but anyways; whatever, I need some help? Man, I’ve got no power!
I’m swinging hard Rob, I can’t swing it no harder,
Do I need to slow down some? Maybe I need a swing Doctor?
I nicknamed my bat Tommy.
Probably because my bat’s blind, deaf and dumb, sorry
I just get upset that I never see second base and the hits aren’t comin’
I know you probably hear this every day, but I'm your biggest fan
I even dig the underhand pitches that you throw to Pie-Man
I got a room full of your posters and your pictures man
I like the way you hit up a ruckus too, that stuff is phat
Anyways, I need some help Rob, hit me back,
just to chat, truly yours, trying not to be grim,
This is Tim
Chorus:
My beer’s gone warm I'm wondering why I,
Flied out to left at all
The evening rain messed up the infield.
and I can't see the ball
And even if I could it'd all be gray,
On my face I would fall,
It reminds me, that I play so bad,
Play so bad..
Dear Tim, I meant to write you sooner but I just been busy
You said that your swing is in trouble? How bad is it?
I think that giving your bat a nickname is phat,
But you gotta commit to it and write the nickname in marker inside your cap.
And don't think that I would say that stuff intentionally just to diss you.
You’re thinking too much Tim….it something we all tend to do.
I say just empty your mind at the plate dog,
c'mon - how messed up is you?
You got some issues Tim, I think you need some swing counseling
to help your rear from bouncing off the walls when you get down some
And what's this stuff about batting gloves?
This is the old timers league dude, lose the mitts before you get shoved.
I really think you and your bat need each other
or maybe you just need to treat it better
I hope you get to read this letter, I just hope it reaches you in time
before you hurt your swing, I think that you'll be doin’ just fine
if you relax a little, I'm glad I inspire you but Tim
why are you so sad? Try to understand, that I do want you as a fan
I just don't want to see you mess up your hits
I seen this one bit on the news a couple weeks ago that made me sick
Some dude was drunk and swung his bat into a tree
Wrapped it right around the trunk, Cops knew it wasn’t done by a kid
and around the bat was baseball tape, with the guy’s name written on the blue trim,
Come to think about, his name was.. it was you
Damn!
The Game
In my humble opinion there are two ways to approach this game.
1. We can be depressed that we lost.
2. We can admit that we had one bad inning on defense and move on.
We lost the game 10-6; however we gave up one 6 run inning where everything went wrong. I'm not going to call anyone out, because it wouldn't be sporting. But some of our most sure handed people unfortunately had
errors in the same inning and the rest of us failed to pick them up.
Despite the fact that we only scored six runs we had a lot of hits and a TON of force outs. I'm not positive on the count but I believe that there were force outs at second base in every inning but one and there were two double plays against us.
This is a great opportunity for the Grisslies to dust themselves off and get back on the beam. There were a lot of very good defensive plays from Simon, Danny, Rob and Kevin to take forward into our next game.
Of note, Randy Hipkin pitched a great game and Neil Pendlebury was his usual vacuum self in the outfield. Murray Saunders hit well and all of the Dog Catchers lamented Jim Rouleau not being there. Randy was seen toasting Jim later in the club house saying, "I didn't think we could pull it off without our Heart and Soul, but we made it through". Its great to have the support of your team mates!!!
Everyone has heard the stories about elite athletes acting a little surly. From Maradona to Mario Lemieux to Barry Bonds to Vince Carter to Terrell Owens, there have always been the tales of the extraordinary athlete who thinks they are better than everyone else.
Our league is sadly not immune to such petulant behavior. Rest assured, we have ours as well.
In completely unrelated news, Danny Chiasson was kind enough to submit to an exclusive interview with "THE BLOG". Its rare to get some quality one on one time with one of the leagues best players and we at The BLOG consider ourselves to be very fortunate.
BLOG: Hey, Danny. Thanks for taking the time today. Do you have any objectives for today's interview? Any special messages that you want to convey?
DANNY: I don't usually read the papers during the season because I hate to be distracted from my game. But that being said, I know how this works. I know the BLOG misrepresents what people say and tries to make them look foolish...and that ain't gonna happen to me.
BLOG: Well, that kind of hurts Danny.
DANNY: Hey, I just call them like I see them.
BLOG: Like Roman?
DANNY: No, like the opposite of Roman!
BLOG: Hmmm, one line in and already attacking umpires. And you were worried about being misrepresented?
DANNY: Hey, he who lives by the sword doesn't bring a knife to a gunfight.
BLOG: Whoa! I think you're mixing your metaphors there Danny boy.
DANNY: Yeah I do it on purpose.
BLOG: Really? That could be an interesting thread. When did the mixed metaphor thing start happening?
DANNY: When we were kids, my 3rd grade teacher used to tell us all the time, "pair off in threes, line up in a circle and sort yourselves alphabetically by height".
BLOG: (LOL) - That's pretty funny.
DANNY: Yeah, it wasn't funny when 2 kids died trying to do it.
BLOG: I see. So you picked up on it and kept it going?
DANNY: Well, a Leopard can't change his stripes can he?
BLOG: No, I suppose not. So, do you have any nicknames?
DANNY: I have a few, most notably "Woody". But I've been thinking of getting a new one. I'm kicking around a few right now.
BLOG: Care to share what they might be?
DANNY: Well, I'm toying with "Captain Awesome".
BLOG: That's kind of self-aggrandizing isn't it?
DANNY: You know, you're not the only one with a vocabulary buddy! You think you're so smart because you know "words". Well I know what aggrandizing means and I most definitely CAN NOT move things with my mind! However, I think that "Captain Awesome" kind of catches the whole awesomeness of my .... awesomeness.
BLOG: Awesome
DANNY: Awesome-R actually, but whatever. I'm ambidextrous.
BLOG: You can throw with both hands?
DANNY: No, I mean, like - "I don't care" or "whatever", you know?
BLOG: Oh, you mean ambivalent, not ambidextrous.
DANNY: Right! You can take that to the bank and smoke it!
BLOG: That third grade teacher left a lasting impression!
DANNY: Why do you say that?
BLOG: You're still mixing metaphors.
DANNY: Its not rocket surgery, but it does take some practise.
THE SPEECH
This was a last minute re-write as Rob was concerned about one of our rookies, Tim. Tim goes by the nicknames of "two beer Timmy", "Don't call me Donny" and "Run through the bag Tim". Some of you may know that Tim has been having a bit of a struggle lately. This correspondence between Tim and Rob is 100% accurate (with the exception of a couple of words that needed to be changed for the sake of rhyming.) The tune for this one is to Eminim's STAN!
TIM
Chorus:
My beer’s gone warm I'm wondering why I,
Flied out to left at all
The evening rain messed up the infield.
and I can't see the ball
And even if I could it'd all be gray,
Flat on my face I would fall,
It reminds me, that I play so bad,
Play so bad..
Dear Rob, I’m swinging the bat hard but they ain’t fallin’,
I set my feet, tap my cleats, and the batting gloves, I got ‘em.
I always take a strike like you said, just like your buddy Bartens,
There probably was a problem with my back swing or something
Sometimes I think my practice swings are too sloppy when I swing them
but anyways; whatever, I need some help? Man, I’ve got no power!
I’m swinging hard Rob, I can’t swing it no harder,
Do I need to slow down some? Maybe I need a swing Doctor?
I nicknamed my bat Tommy.
Probably because my bat’s blind, deaf and dumb, sorry
I just get upset that I never see second base and the hits aren’t comin’
I know you probably hear this every day, but I'm your biggest fan
I even dig the underhand pitches that you throw to Pie-Man
I got a room full of your posters and your pictures man
I like the way you hit up a ruckus too, that stuff is phat
Anyways, I need some help Rob, hit me back,
just to chat, truly yours, trying not to be grim,
This is Tim
Chorus:
My beer’s gone warm I'm wondering why I,
Flied out to left at all
The evening rain messed up the infield.
and I can't see the ball
And even if I could it'd all be gray,
On my face I would fall,
It reminds me, that I play so bad,
Play so bad..
Dear Tim, I meant to write you sooner but I just been busy
You said that your swing is in trouble? How bad is it?
I think that giving your bat a nickname is phat,
But you gotta commit to it and write the nickname in marker inside your cap.
And don't think that I would say that stuff intentionally just to diss you.
You’re thinking too much Tim….it something we all tend to do.
I say just empty your mind at the plate dog,
c'mon - how messed up is you?
You got some issues Tim, I think you need some swing counseling
to help your rear from bouncing off the walls when you get down some
And what's this stuff about batting gloves?
This is the old timers league dude, lose the mitts before you get shoved.
I really think you and your bat need each other
or maybe you just need to treat it better
I hope you get to read this letter, I just hope it reaches you in time
before you hurt your swing, I think that you'll be doin’ just fine
if you relax a little, I'm glad I inspire you but Tim
why are you so sad? Try to understand, that I do want you as a fan
I just don't want to see you mess up your hits
I seen this one bit on the news a couple weeks ago that made me sick
Some dude was drunk and swung his bat into a tree
Wrapped it right around the trunk, Cops knew it wasn’t done by a kid
and around the bat was baseball tape, with the guy’s name written on the blue trim,
Come to think about, his name was.. it was you
Damn!
The Game
In my humble opinion there are two ways to approach this game.
1. We can be depressed that we lost.
2. We can admit that we had one bad inning on defense and move on.
We lost the game 10-6; however we gave up one 6 run inning where everything went wrong. I'm not going to call anyone out, because it wouldn't be sporting. But some of our most sure handed people unfortunately had
errors in the same inning and the rest of us failed to pick them up.
Despite the fact that we only scored six runs we had a lot of hits and a TON of force outs. I'm not positive on the count but I believe that there were force outs at second base in every inning but one and there were two double plays against us.
This is a great opportunity for the Grisslies to dust themselves off and get back on the beam. There were a lot of very good defensive plays from Simon, Danny, Rob and Kevin to take forward into our next game.
Of note, Randy Hipkin pitched a great game and Neil Pendlebury was his usual vacuum self in the outfield. Murray Saunders hit well and all of the Dog Catchers lamented Jim Rouleau not being there. Randy was seen toasting Jim later in the club house saying, "I didn't think we could pull it off without our Heart and Soul, but we made it through". Its great to have the support of your team mates!!!
1 comment:
This weeks Grisslie apponent scouting report: The Wild
Doug De Land : (lifes goal) to live by De Sea
Tito Presenza: (attended) 'whatsamatta U'
Robert 'Alomar' Stock: hoover at second, every other game
Ed Vonda: (favorite song) 'help me vonda' by the beach boys
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