The Intro
Zero and two.
Who cares, it’s early.
How can you have ‘trends’ after two games? Besides, in 1993 the Dallas Cowboys started 0-2 and won the super bowl! In fact both the Chicago Blackhawks & the Philadelphia Flyers went 0-3 to start the season this year and one of them will with the Stanley cup this year (probably by August).
So who cares about 0&2? Radar, that’s who!
Back at the clubhouse after last week’s stellar effort, Radar abruptly left the table and was seen across the Legion floor frantically flipping through the pages of an old dusty book. As captain AND out of general human interest AND out of basic morbid curiosity, I figured that I should find out what was going on…..
“Radar, are you ok, what are you reading?”
“It’s a book of ancient Australian spells. I’m going through it because I saw something in here once about breaking a curse. I know I’ve seen it before, but I can’t find it!”
Flip, flip, flip,
“Dude”, says I.”There’s so much to ask. Why an Australian book of spells?”
Flip, flip, flip.
Without looking up from his search, Radar says, “Because I’m Australian. Actually, to be honest, I only that found out recently. When I was a kid my mom told me that we were Australian, but I somehow got that mixed up with ‘Austrian’ and I spent most of grade school talking like Arnold Schwarzenegger”
Flip, flip, flip.
“Radar,” I stammer, “We’re 0-2, we’re not exactly at the curse stage. It’s a long season and EVERYONE makes the playoffs”.
“No man, you don’t understand!” Radar actually glanced up for a moment and I think I saw tears in his eyes, “my dad played in this league for years! He never had 3 consecutive losses. If we lose our next game, I’ll have to buy the Thanksgiving Kangaroo this year and those things are expensive. Do you even know the import costs on a Kangaroo? Plus they’re nearly impossible to fit in an oven”.
“Wow, your family is really embracing the Australian heritage!”
Radar bolted up and yelled, “FOUND IT”!!! “Where can I find a virgin koala and sap from a Bunya Pine tree?”
*** As a follow up, Radar ‘apparently’ preformed his ritual sacrifice shortly thereafter, substituting a stuffed koala bear (time constraints) and using Aunt Jemima pancake syrup instead of the Bunya Pine tree sap. Time will tell if it worked!!! ***
The Pre-Game
So….the team had a few side bets going on the theme song this week. There were two camps. Many of us thought that Robbie-Rob would go back to his gangsta-rap roots and bust out a little ICE-T or NWA. The other camp thought he’d continue with the success of last week’s Gilligan’s Island song and try another TV theme.
This is why you should NEVER camp….Rob will catch you off guard! (click the title below for the music.
The Joints Are Gonna Bite The Dust
Cal walks warily down the street with the brim pulled way down low
Ain't no sound but the sound of his cleats, his big bat’s ready to go
Are you ready? Hey, are you ready for this? The fans are hanging on the edge of their seats!
Out of the box the line drives rip to the sound of the beat,
Yeah
The Joints are gonna bite the dust
The Joints are gonna bite the dust
And another one gone
And another one gone
The Joints are gonna bite the dust
Hey, The Gris are gonna get you too
Another one bites the dust
How do you think we’re gonna get along with Argue now at third?
Diving to his left and throwing to first, the corner is now anchored.
Diving to his left and throwing to first, the corner is now anchored.
Radar’s happy. Ingo’s satisfied. Tim, “Don’t call me Donny” is quick on his feet.
Out of the outfield the rocket throws whistle to the sound of the beat
(Look out)
The Joints are gonna bite the dust
The Joints are gonna bite the dust
And another one gone
And another one gone
The Joints are gonna bite the dust
Hey, The Gris are gonna get you too
Another one bites the dust
There are plenty of ways you can hurt a team and bring them to the ground
You can beat him, you can cheat him
You can treat him bad and tag them when their falling
But we’re ready, yes we’re ready for you
The Grisslies have no need to cheat
Out on the base paths Greg is burning, flying to the sound of the beat.
Oh yeeeah
Out on the base paths Greg is burning, flying to the sound of the beat.
Oh yeeeah
The Joints are gonna bite the dust
The Joints are gonna bite the dust
And another one gone
And another one gone
The Joints are gonna bite the dust
Hey, The Gris are gonna get you too
Another one bites the dust
The Game
The Joints did not bite the dust.
I burned my glove.
The stuffed koala bear and Aunt Jemima syrup were poor substitutes.
I burned my cleats.
If anyone knows how to import a kangaroo, give Radar a call.
I almost burned my hat, but it’s too pretty.
It’s getting a tad lame, but we had moments in this game. We strung a few hits together, scored a few runs, had some good defensive plays, and had some good base running.
On the flip side, we had two 3 up 3 down innings, dropped some easy ones, lost track of outs on the bases. Oh, and did I mention that trying to get an out by touching the orange bag rarely works?
Here is the good news: This team is fun to be around. Except from one rant from Piero (Mr. “I won the championship last year”), everyone seems content that we’re still in the shaking off the rust phase. We got Dave in to pitch an inning last night, which eased the strain on Rob’s neck. Rob is getting therapy on his neck as it keeps snapping back to watch balls fly by.
Radar & Tim “don’t call me Donny” Osmond continue to play well at multiple positions. Ingo did well moving between the infield and outfield, Cal & Danny have been steady Eddies and Greg has the speed of young Billy Cloutier. We have a number of good players and it’s a matter of time before we all have a decent game on the same night.
The other thing too is that we’ve played 3 great teams that are filled with T.O.T superstars.
Next week is the Red Dogs and the Dusty Cleats. Two perennial powers in the league, these will be good tests to see if our squad is really coming together.
I just have to get a glove & shoes.
The Game
The Joints did not bite the dust.
I burned my glove.
The stuffed koala bear and Aunt Jemima syrup were poor substitutes.
I burned my cleats.
If anyone knows how to import a kangaroo, give Radar a call.
I almost burned my hat, but it’s too pretty.
It’s getting a tad lame, but we had moments in this game. We strung a few hits together, scored a few runs, had some good defensive plays, and had some good base running.
On the flip side, we had two 3 up 3 down innings, dropped some easy ones, lost track of outs on the bases. Oh, and did I mention that trying to get an out by touching the orange bag rarely works?
Here is the good news: This team is fun to be around. Except from one rant from Piero (Mr. “I won the championship last year”), everyone seems content that we’re still in the shaking off the rust phase. We got Dave in to pitch an inning last night, which eased the strain on Rob’s neck. Rob is getting therapy on his neck as it keeps snapping back to watch balls fly by.
Radar & Tim “don’t call me Donny” Osmond continue to play well at multiple positions. Ingo did well moving between the infield and outfield, Cal & Danny have been steady Eddies and Greg has the speed of young Billy Cloutier. We have a number of good players and it’s a matter of time before we all have a decent game on the same night.
The other thing too is that we’ve played 3 great teams that are filled with T.O.T superstars.
Next week is the Red Dogs and the Dusty Cleats. Two perennial powers in the league, these will be good tests to see if our squad is really coming together.
I just have to get a glove & shoes.
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