As many of you are aware, the league has petitioned for new trophies. It is clear that come banquet time, the women's league have a lot more awards than the men, so our executive thought that it would be a good idea to introduce some new awards to make the distribution of such things at the banquet a little more equitable.
We here at the BLOG support the idea and thought that we'd socialize some of the submissions from some of our more stalwart league members. Remember that we want to have meaningful awards. We're not looking for "best hair by a shortstop" or "friendliest outfielder"; we want baseball stuff. So here are some that our exec's are choosing between.
Trophy Name: The White Flag
Criteria for Winning: Player must play shortstop, be able to throw side arm and simultaneously raise a white flag. Being of Italian decent is considered a bonus but not mandatory.
Trophy Name: I'm A #5?
Criteria for Winning: Must be overrated by at least 2 levels, ideally 3. Must be a full participant during games and afterward at the clubhouse. Must recognize that there times when the line between playing and 'clubhousing' is blurred.
Trophy Donated By: Rob Rumboldt
Trophy Name: You Can't Fall If You're Sitting Award
Criteria for Winning: Rob has chosen to high light a special segment of our player population that has trouble staying upright for no reason other than balance and coordination. Click this LINK for more information. To be eligible a player must have a predisposition to being on their ass.
Trophy Donated By: Timmy Two Beer Osmond
Trophy Name: The "Can We See Your ID" Award
Criteria for Winning: As a salute to others in the league who don't need to shave either, TTB has donated this trophy to be given to the youngest looking player every season. Members of the voting committee CAN NOT have glasses.
Trophy Donated By: Scott Peters
Trophy Name: The "I'm Totally Focused, Hey; Is That A Squirrel?" Award
Criteria for Winning: As a tribute to those in the league with legendary focus, Scott has donated this Trophy to recognize those with superior concentration like him. Sadly, on the way to the trophy place Scott got distracted (by a squirrel) and forgot what he was going for. Hence the dough nut trophy. Hey, at least there are sprinkles!
Trophy Donated By: James Taylor
Trophy Name: The "Piero Del Greco Tribute Trophy"
Criteria for Winning: James has recognized the skill that some people have in doing instructional videos. Piero is quiet obviously the role model for this (click the link below, you won't be disappointed). Going forward this will be awarded annually to the best actor in a leading role for an instructional video.
Trophy Donated By: Robert Farah
Trophy Name: The "Hey, These Aren't My Track Pants" award
Criteria for Winning: According to Rob, this award will presented to the guy with the nicest track pants. So far its a wide open field.
Trophy Donated By: Mark Doyle
Trophy Name: When Pigs Can Fly Award
Criteria for Winning: "This award will go to anyone who can out smart Mark at Trivia." You name the topic and he'll kick your ass around the block. My advice would be to stay away from authors though...he is particularly adept in that area. Chitty Chitty BANG BANG!
Trophy Donated By: Danny Chaisson
Trophy Name: The Red Solo Cup drinkin' award
Criteria for Winning: "Out drink Danny and win a prize! Women welcomed"
Trophy Donated By: Scott Mason
Trophy Name: "I Swear To God, I Didn't Know It Was Horse Meat" Award.
Criteria for Winning: Scott, ever the thoughtful young man (who may be eligible to win the "Can We See Your ID" award) donated this because he recognizes that thins aren't always as they seem. Sometimes you see a big guy who turns out to be a good athlete. Sometimes ground beef turns out to be ground horse. Sometimes a #5 turns out to be a #1. This award goes to the guy who plays the most above his rating.
Trophy Donated By: Gord Robertson
Trophy Name: The "Cleanliness Is Next To Godliness" Award.
Criteria for Winning: Gord's compulsive cleaning has been observed and admired by many a captain over the years. Compulsive might not be the right word...maybe more maniacal uncontrollable need. Gord has donated this trophy to whoever keeps a dugout as neat and tidy as he does. Of course no one will beat him, so the award will go to the second place person.
THE REAL STORY
There was actually one new trophy approved by the executive. It will be sponsored by the Grisslies and its a little complicated (because its the Grisslies). The Trophy will be an open year long competition that I'll explain in the next BLOG. And before you think this is all crazy, I'll let you know that the concept of this trophy came from a quite sane Simon Smith. Sure, he was once a Grisslies but he's long been declared cured.
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